563 lines
32 KiB
Plaintext
563 lines
32 KiB
Plaintext
LIST
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FILE ON
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MARGIN IS 85
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STATUS: ALL ALLOWED
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NUMBER OF LINES: 570
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1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask....
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2 ********************** REMOVED 29 FEB 84 *******************
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3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System) Mike Day System operator
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4 ************************************************************
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5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION
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6 PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM.
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7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privatly owned
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8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public.
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9 No restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is
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10 privatly owned, I retain the right to remove any and all messages which
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11 I may find offensive. Because of the limited size of the system, it will be
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12 periodically purged of messages. (only 629 lines of data can be saved)
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13 To leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the
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14 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the
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15 message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to replace
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16 the line. To exit from the system, type 'OFF' then hang up.
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17 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system.
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18 ************************************************************
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19
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20 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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21 Wow! I get to start a new disk, BIG DEAL!
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22
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23 TO PUZZELED: If Russia wants to take
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24 over countries like Germany and Italy, let them.
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25 The US shouldn't worry about communist countries.
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26 If Russia did take them over we would not feel the efectts.
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27 But when they start trying to take places
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28 like The big oil countries, thats when we start fighting.
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29
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30 And non the less, WE DON'T NEED TO DESTROY THE WORLD.
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31 If we do that then what we were fighting
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32 over is no more.
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33
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34 Doesn't make sense to me.
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35
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36 FOTI
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37 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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38 (<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)
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39 So thats what a bolo is... maybE I just ought to tag along
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40 with you to the wizards.
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41 (<>)(<>)(<>)( >)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)Geo(<>)(<>)
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42
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43 ==================================================<=============
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44 Sorry to here about the cold Deborah, I've just gotten over it
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45 myself a few days ago. Please keep entering messages if you can,
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46 i usually don't start lines of discussion but I might be able to
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47 think up a new topic instead of going after someone else's
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48 Evan
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49 ===================================================================
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50 CAPTAIN NICE by Paul Aurandt
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51 Bartholemew Roberts was an old-time sea captain.
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52 Yet if your conception of what an old-time sea captain is supposed to be includes being boistrous, rough-talking, hard-drink
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53 ing, irreverent, then maybe you'd better hear THE REST OF THE STORY.
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54 Once upon a time, ship's musicians were among the hardest-working crew members. Like the family physicians of long ago,
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55 they were always 'on call.' If anyone aboard ship wanted music, at any time of day or night, they ship's orchestra was
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56 required to provide music.
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57 The man who changed all that was Captain Bartholemew Roberts. Aboard his ships, the Fortune, the Good Fortune, and the
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58 Royal Fortune, the musicians were not only allowed but obliged to take Sunday off.
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59 You see, Captain Roberts' background was conservative Welsh. He was a strict Sabbatarian. Once a week on every cruise,
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60 religious services were conducted.
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61 Temperence was another of Captain Roberts' convictions. The hours during which crew members could drink beverages containing
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62 alcohol were carefully regulated. Alcoholism, or even common intoxication, was positively prohibited. As for himself,
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63 Captain Roberts drank tea. ONLY tea.
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64 Games were permitted aboard---unless money was involved. Any form of gambling was against regulations. In fact, the captain
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65 frowned on games such as cards or dice, simply because those games were generally associated with gambling.
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66 There is no record of a woman ever having been smuggled aboard any of Captain Roberts' vessels by any member of his crew.
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67 The reason is obvious: The captain made it clar that any member of such immoral behavior would be hanged.
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68 I don't know if Captain Roberts ever conducted a bed check of those serving under him. There was, however, a standing order:
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69 lights out by 8:00 P. M.
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70 Of course, no fighting was allowed. This was the way Captain Roberts handled it: If two crew members had a quarrel which
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71 could not be resolved through discussion, they were required to wait until the ship had reached port, then to settle their
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72 dispute on land in a fair fight refereed by the ship's quartermaster. Under no circumstances was such violence to be permitte
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73 d on board any vessel commanded by Captain Roberts.
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74 If this discipline was remarkable for the high seas of the early eighteenth century, Roberts himself was a remarkable man,
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75 always superbly groomed, splendidly attired. He wore a rich crimson damask waistcoat and trousers, a red feather in his
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76 tricorn hat, two pairs of pistols on the end of a silk sling over his shoulders, a gleaming sword at his side, and a gold
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77 chain suspending a diamond cross around his neck.
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78 Captain Bartholemew Roberts.
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79 Those serving in his command called him "pistol-proof," a phrase used to describe only the most adept in ship-handling, crew
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80 control, and the tactics of naval warfare.
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81 No telling what greatness he might have achieved on the right side of wrong.
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82 For Captain Bartholemew Roberts was a strict Sabbatarian, a teetotaler, a gentle man who disapproved of fast money and loose
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83 women. He was Mr. Discipline, Captain Nice. And he captured more than four hundred ships during one four-year period in his
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84 career.
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85 As a PIRATE.
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86 One of the most feared---and often considered the greatest---pirate in the history of piracy.
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87 Bartholemew Roberts.
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88 The original "Black Bart."
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89 -------------------------------------------------------- P. V. Jeltz ---------
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90 Wow! Cool story man. I can talk those bolos. I learned early that a well placed
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91 stick shift can knock down any tank.
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92 The Ninja
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93
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94 HELLO
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95
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96 IF ANYONE GETS THIS MESSAGE, SEND ME A LINE AT
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97
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98 BOX 175 3446 CHESTNUT STREET
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99 PHILA, PA. 19104
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100
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101 MUCH OBLIGED - ESD
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102
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104 TO MIKE DAY ,SYSOP
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105 SUBJ:HOW TO?
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106 FROM:RAY EPPLEY
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107 1. PLS CHECK SYS FOR BUG,I CAN'T SEEM
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108 2. TO GET MSGS OR ACCESS ANYTHING ELSE3. (PROBABLY JUST ME,NEW USER Y'KNOW!
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109 4. I AM TRYING TO LEARN AS MUCH AS
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110 5. POSSIBLE AS FAST AS I CAN AND ANY
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111 6. INFO WOULD BE A GREAT HELP!! MY
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112 7.
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113 8.
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114 9. THANKS MUCH,
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115 10. Ray
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119 S
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125 This is a very different system
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126
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127 The Runner
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128 AM HAVING EXTRAORDINARILY DIFFICULT
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129 TIME GETTING OUT OF THE INN. I CAN'T
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130 EXIT AND CAN NOT GET "OFF" THIS PLANE
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131 WITH OUT HANGING UP WHILE SYSTEM IS
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132 ON. AM I MISSING SOMETHING?
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133 THANKS,
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134 STUCK
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135 Dear Stuck,
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136 Try hitting "Control-C" after entering a message, then type "off" and hang up.
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137 If that doesn't work, go buy some lead undies and do the antler dance until your
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138 modem curls up and dies.
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139 Abby
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140 Hello, everyone. What a strange setup. No offense.
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141 Meine namen ist Micheal from The Software Exchange.
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142 And I am pleased to make your acquaintance!
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143 I am not a Gamer fanatic, merely a person...
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144 hello ][c.k.][
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145 well how are you im glad you got to
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146 log on and read this message. i think
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147 you will agree that it is a lot better
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148 that good old cis. at least its cheeper
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149 and you dont have to worry about how
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150 long you take to type it all in.
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151 well i hope that you read this before
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152 what i have to say is no longer current
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153 so here goes. im glad that you are
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154 truly willing to try and get a cb party
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155 going and it ought to be interesting
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156 how you and i are going to get our act
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157 together to pull it all off. I hope
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158 that it all turns out for the better.
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159 but i have a lot of faith and i think
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160 it will go just great.
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161 well i dont know about you but i think
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162 we should start using this more often
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163 for our email its a heck of a lot less
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164 expensive. and allmost as good.
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165 so i will let you go for now hope to
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166 see a reply that you got the message.
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167 untill later pal...
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168 derek kinne
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169 ****************************************
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170 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
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171 --- I've gotta try first person for a while, worry 'bout description later.
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172
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173 I really have to curb some of these impulses. I felt that we needed a few
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174 extra bodies, but forgot just how fast a bottle and prospect of adventure ould
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175 draw people. I shook my head to clear the alcohol fog.
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176 CRAZY! I must have really done it this time! And what about this fellow
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177 who calls himself the Ninja. Going to try to take on a Bolo (no I don't know
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178 the model) with a stick shift from an old car. Oh well, I'm glad I'm not with
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179 that one. Yucch! Even the though of such an encounter makes me qeasy.
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180
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181 What's this? A poor lost little bottle. Come here poor littcle bottcle.
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182 Tachey off littcle bottcle cap, pour out inshides. Oops, pour lichle bottcle
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183 in mouf. .....
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184 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
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185 ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
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186 Well...if nobody is willing to leed the expidition to the used BOLO lot,then I
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187 will.but I seems to be a little tipsy from the ale and Glenlivit.where are the
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188 facilities in this fine inn? OH BARKEEP,the keys to the crapper please??
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189 Nknja,lets keep the killer stickwhift for later,when we REALY need some force.
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190
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191
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192 Aaron,wellcome back(front??) how long will you stay?
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193 Ma Yuan,why don't you use the report writing teqnique for messages? it would
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194 save lotsa reading time for us.start out each line with 2 spaces though,BWMS
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195 does not like uploads very much. that way you can use spellguard on them.
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196 Leonard,Bard,The Mad actor,Apprentice and others,HAad a good time at the meeting
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197 and PC&S,see you again in 2 weeks?
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198 The Man in Gray
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199 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
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200 FOTI: I hate to be the one to burst your bubble, but while Italy's government
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201 is NOMINALLY communist, Germany's is NOT. In any case, just because they CALL
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202 themselves communist, that doesn't mean that they are the same as the government
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203 of the USSR. By the way, the government of the USSR is NOT communist. What they
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204 have is more properly called "state capitalism".
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205 And as for our not noticing if they took over West Germany and Italy, you had
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206 better check out some facts. Just off the top of my head I can tell you that the
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207 electronics business would go thru a crisis. It seems that about 50% of the raw
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208 hyper-pure silicon used outside of Japan comes from a company in West Germany. I
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209 happen to work for a US subsidiary of the firm in question. There are other
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210 things just as crucial in ANY non-third world nation you care to name. And in
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211 many third world nations, there are vital resources -- such as the oil you
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212 mentioned. The modern world is too interdependent for isolationism.
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213 The only reasons that the USSR hasn't invaded Europe yet are:
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214 1. They aren't certain that we wouldn't start firing off nukes.
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215 2. Their conventional forces in the area "only" outnumber NATO forces about 2:1.
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216 Most strategists feel that one should have odds of 5:1 when attacking someone
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217 who is defending their "home turf". The Soviet military is noted for being
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218 cautious. (see this month's Scientific American for a more detailed analysis. I
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219 think that it understates the Soviet position, but it should still help)
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220 _____________________________________Leonard____________________________________
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221 "Milord innkeeper, I must apoligize for failing to 'turn off the 'demon' that I
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222 was using in that joke on d. I fear that it has grown a bit too large to just
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223 idly dismiss. Luckily, since its breed feeds on disorder, I think we can work
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224 this out in an equitable manner." said the apprentice.
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225 He had drawn the innkeeper aside shortly after entering the Inn. The innkeeper
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226 looked sceptically at him.
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227 "As thou may have noticed, the inn does seem to have a rather large
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228 tendency towards disorder? The demon could 'feed' off of this. The main effect
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229 would be that Pam wouldn't have quite so much to clean up. You might say that th
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230 patrons would become somewhat 'non-accident' prone."
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231 At this the innkeeper displayed some interest, and they started serious
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232 negotiations. Much later the apprentice approached a party at a table..
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233 "Milords, Milady..", he began, "I hear that thou may have need of art
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234 such as mine?"
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235 "I have brought my staff, and also some small items which may aid us.
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236 Finally, if all else fails I have this.."
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237 He placed a small vial on the table, it contained a number of small
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238 blue pills. "I obtained these from some rather odd travelers. I know the names
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239 of two of their number, hast any of thee heard of 'Chester Anderson' or
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240 'Michael the Theodore Bear'?"
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241 .................................the apprentice.................................
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242 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
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243 Something is dreadfully wrong! I don't normally act like this...
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244 My mind doesn't seem to work! I am looking at the table as through a long
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245 black tunnel. There is a loud buzzing in my ears. The apprentice has
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246 just joined the group at the table. If I can only tell him...
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247 "Apprentice ... help! The ale, ish funny!"
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248 The buzzing is louder now. Those incautious belts of the Glenlivit are
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249 combining with whatever it was..... chloral hydrate??
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250 With all my strength I try to stand ....
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251 "Apprentish ... the ale ... knockout......
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252 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
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253
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254 From: Jason E. Elliott
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255 To: Anyone in the know
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256 Re: Programming
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257
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258
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264 I am looking for a part time (to become full time in June)
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265 programming job in either 'C', BASIC or any Assembler (given
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266 time to learn it). I would prefer to program in 'C' but right
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267 now, anything will do. If you know of such an opening please
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268 let me know. You may reach me by mail (address below) or on the
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269 following systems:
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270
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271 1) Reed College's PDP 11. Send mail to "/u/v/cbenson/jason".
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272 2) BWMS
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273
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274 Mailing address:
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275
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276 Oregon City, Oregon 97045
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277
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278 PS: I am game to working in either Portland or Oregon City until June.
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279 Starting in June I could work just about any place.
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280
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281 Thanks,
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282 Jason E. Elliott
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283 THERE EVER WAS A DAY THAT ONE COULD STAND UPON YHE MOUNTAINS AND SEE THE
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284 LAND STRETCH FOREVER WITHOUT A SCAR UPON ITS FACE. NOW THE CHILDREN OF MAN
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285 FOUL ITS AIR AND SEAS, LEAVING ONLY THE BITTER TEARS OF NATURE TO WREAK
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286 HAVOC UPON THE LAND. WE LOOK TO THE LIGHT OF SANITY, HOPING THAT ON THE
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287 MORROW WE MAY SEE A BETTER DAY, YET KNOWING THAT OUR TIME HAS BEEN RUN.
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288
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289 =-=-= What??
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290 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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291 This place is getting harder and harder to get onto anymore.
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292
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293 Valinor: I'm waiting for the next chapter, hurry before the package
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294 explodes!
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295
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296 Ninja: I can't help you with the '67 ford, but would you settle for one
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297 out of a '69? Lord knows the truck dosent work well enough to
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298 do me any good.
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299
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300
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301 Anyone out there into the wizardry trilogy? I'm on #3 (just started) and
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302 I was just wondering if I'm alone out here.
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303 Bo
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304 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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305 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
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306 WELL, I'VE RECOVERED THANX TO THE HELPFUL INFO. AND SYMPATHIES. JUST
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307 THOUGHT I'LD STOP IN AND LOOK FOR SOMETHING EXCITING..........BYE.
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308 JASON: HELLO!
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309 MIKEY: HAVE YOU HEARD THERE ARE RABID ANIMALS IN OUR FAIR NEIGHBORHOOD?
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310 THEY WERE OUT HERE WITH GUNS LAST WEEK, NEAR MY HOUSE TRACKING ONE. THE
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311 ANIMAL WAS ALREADY IN AN ADVANCED STAGE, FOAMING AT THE MOUTH AND ALL
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312 THAT. DO YOU HAVE PETS?
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313 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?DEBORAH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
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314 THANX FER THE DRINK PIPER! IT REALLY HIT THE SPOT.
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315 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
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316 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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317
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318 Aaron,
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319 Sorry to hear about the untimely death of Unicom. I was looking forward
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320 to a multi-user system. As for a suitable game that would lend its self to
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321 a digital environment may I suggest a modified form of " Risk ".
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322 Where one combined the tactical requirements of Risk with the political
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323 intrigue and alliances that is found with Diplomacy. Perhaps even add Nuclear
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324 warfare as an option. Maybe even a file
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325 on each Color--Country as to its intentions - and official stance towards its
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326 neighbors ?....
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327 Hmmmm . . . . . what potential
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328
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329 D.O.M,
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330 Good to see you back
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331
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332 d,
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333 I was worried about what happened to Nila
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334
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335 :::::::::::Alex:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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336 Spektre: My compuuter still seems to be in a stage of bad working order I'm suprised I managed to get it turned on to write hel
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337 anyway I guess it is about time to find my recept. give me a call after you read this
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338 ************************** THE RUNNER *****************************************
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339 help
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340 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 27 Feb 84 <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
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341 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 19:14 <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
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342 Alex, you will need to inquire of a certain Capt`n Barefoot to
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343 hear what became of Nila, not I! I do believe I've seen the damp prints
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344 of his feet by the hearth, under another name. Add my appeal, if you
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345 would, for Nila is charming in her innocence; I've wondered what had
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346 become of her journey to 'where east begins' as well.
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347 Jason Elliott? Welcome to the Backwater Inn, my friend! Truly, I
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348 never expected to hear your voice in these lands; come, take a seat at
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349 my table and I will instruct you in the manner of the gentle folk.
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350 Deb, I'm anxious to see the scrolls you spoke of: name a time.
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351 The ticklers you left me made a smile quiver briefly when I saw them;
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352 thank you for remembering me. Like the rest, glad you shook off the cold.
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353 Bard, amidst your many songs, do you have a solemn dirge? Unicom's
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354 demise should be honoured! Aaron, how bedraggled and weary you look from
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355 your travels--please, tarry a while by the fire, and refresh yourself.
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356 Would you have a hot buttered rum to warm your bones, or mulled cider?
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357 DOM, we will miss you when you sail away to Tokyo; your voice thunders
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358 when you speak, and the echoes reberverate for days amidst the beams...
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359 Mr. Tim, I would attempt to shake your hand, but as I am equally as
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360 coordinated as you, I'll be content with smiling! I was chortling in the
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361 corner in delight over your wonderful ego, and I simply had to speak!
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362 Pam, I almost dare not address you for fear you'll blow away as a
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363 will'o the wisp; are you there, dear friend?
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364 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> d <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
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365 NOTE: The names in this sketch are those of the actors. Not of the chara-
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366 cters protrayed. So Mrs. Idle is not related to Eric Idle in this
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367 sketch. - The Walrus, Goo goo g'joob.
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368
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369 THE RESTAURANT SKETCH
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370
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371 Graham Chapman and Mrs. Idle are sitting in a restaurant.
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372 Terry Jones, the waiter, walks towards them.
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373
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374 M. IDLE: Nice here, isn't it?
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375 CHAPMAN: Ah, a very good restaurant, three stars, you know.
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376 M. IDLE: Really?
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377 JONES: Good evening, sir. Good evening, madam. And may I say what a
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378 pleasure it is to see you here again, sir.
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379 CHAPMAN: Oh, thank you. (looking at the menu) Well, there you are, dear.
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380 Take a look at that. The Boffan Cruque is fantastic.
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381 JONES: If I may suggest, sir, the Phesent a la Reine, the sauce is one
|
||
382 of the chef's most famous creations.
|
||
383 CHAPMAN: Mmmm, that sounds good. (to Mrs. Idle) Well, anyway, just have a
|
||
384 look. Take your time. (to the waiter) Oh, by the way, I've got
|
||
385 a bit of a dirty fork, could you get me another one?
|
||
386 JONES: I beg your pardon?
|
||
387 CHAPMAN: Uh, it's nothing. I've got a fork, it's a little bit dirty.
|
||
388 Could you get me another one?
|
||
389 JONES: Oh, sir, I do apoligize.
|
||
390 CHAPMAN: Oh, no need to apoligize. It doesn't worry me.
|
||
391 JONES: No, no, no. I do apoligize. I will fetch the head waiter
|
||
392 immediatement.
|
||
393 CHAPMAN: Oh, there's no need to do that.
|
||
394 JONES: No, no. I'm sure the head waiter, he will want to apoligize to
|
||
395 you himself. I will fetch him at once.
|
||
396 M. IDLE: Well, you certainly get good service here.
|
||
397 CHAPMAN: They really look after you, yes. (Michael Palin, the head waiter,
|
||
398 arrives)
|
||
399 PALIN: Excuse me, sir, madam. (looks at the fork) It's filthy! Garcon,
|
||
400 find out who washed this up and give them their card immediately!
|
||
401 No, better still, we can't afford to take any chances, sack the
|
||
402 entire washing-room staff.
|
||
403 CHAPMAN: Look, I don't want to make any trouble.
|
||
404 PALIN: No, please, it's no trouble. It's quite right, though, you
|
||
405 should point these kind of things out. Garcon, tell the manager
|
||
406 what has happened immediately!
|
||
407 CHAPMAN: No, no, please. I don't want to cause any fuss.
|
||
408 PALIN: Please, it's no fuss. We simply wish to assure that nothing
|
||
409 interferes with the complete enjoyment of your meal.
|
||
410 CHAPMAN: Oh, I'm sure it won't. It's only a dirty fork.
|
||
411 PALIN: I know, and I'm sorry. Bitterly sorry. But I know that no apo-
|
||
412 ligies I can make can alter the fact that, in our restaurant,
|
||
413 you have been given a dirty, filthy, smelly piece of cuttlery!
|
||
414 CHAPMAN: It's not smelly.
|
||
415 PALIN: It's smelly, and obscene, and disgusting, and I hate it! I hate
|
||
416 it! I hate it! Nasty, grubby, mangey, dirty little fork! (Eric
|
||
417 Idle, the manager, comes in and gestures Palin away.)
|
||
418 IDLE: Good evening, sir. Good evening, madam. I'm the manager. I've
|
||
419 only just heard. May I sit down?
|
||
420 CHAPMAN: Yes, of course.
|
||
421 IDLE: I want to apoligize humbly, deeply, and sincerely about the fork.
|
||
422 CHAPMAN: Oh, no need. It's only a tiny thing. You couldn't see it.
|
||
423 IDLE: Oh, you're good, kind, fine people for saying that. But I can
|
||
424 see it. To me it's like a mountain, a vast bowl of pus! It
|
||
425 gets me here. (hits his chest) I can't give you any excuses for
|
||
426 it. There are no excuses. I've been meaning to spend more time
|
||
427 in the restaurant recently, but I haven't been too well. Things
|
||
428 aren't going very well back there. The poor cook's son has
|
||
429 been put away again, and poor Mrs. Delrimper who does the
|
||
430 washing up can hardly move her poor fingers. And then there's
|
||
431 Gilberto's war wound. But they're good people, and they're
|
||
432 kind people, and together we were beginning to get over this
|
||
433 dark patch. There was light at the end of the tunnel, when
|
||
434 this, when this happened! (he puts his head in his hands and
|
||
435 starts to cry)
|
||
436 CHAPMAN: Could I get you some water?
|
||
437 E. IDLE: It's the end of the road! (John Cleese, the cook, comes out
|
||
438 with a meat cleaver)
|
||
439 CLEESE: You bastards! You vicious, heartless bastards! (Chapman laughs
|
||
440 as if it's all a practical joke) Look what you've done to him!
|
||
441 He's worked his fingers to the bone to make this place what it
|
||
442 is! And you come in with your petty, feeble quibling, and you
|
||
443 grind him into the dirt! This fine, honorable man who's boots
|
||
444 you are not worthy to kiss! Oh, it makes me mad. Mad. (he
|
||
445 throws the cleaver into the table) Mad.
|
||
446 PALIN: Easy Mongo, easy! Mongo! (grabbing his head) Oh, the war wound!
|
||
447 The wound! The wound!
|
||
448 E. IDLE: It's the end! It's the end!! (stabbed himself with the fork)
|
||
449 CLEESE: He's dead! You killed him! (Cleese retrieves the cleaver and
|
||
450 lifts it to attack Chapman but Palin stops him)
|
||
451 PALIN: Mongo! Never kill a customer. Oh, the wound! The wound!
|
||
452 (Cleese tries to kill Chapman again but Jones runs in and
|
||
453 tackles him and they fly across the table)
|
||
454
|
||
455 And now, the punchline...
|
||
456
|
||
457 CHAPMAN: Lucky we didn't say anything about the dirty knife.
|
||
458
|
||
459 :.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:
|
||
460 P.S. TO SYSOP - Please erase disk B the next time you need to delete one.
|
||
461 I did a lot of work getting the above sketch uploaded so I'd like to have
|
||
462 it on as long as possible. Thanks. - The Walrus
|
||
463
|
||
464 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
||
465 TO THE ADVENTURERS: May I join in your
|
||
466 journey to the BOLOS lot? Maybe I can be of a little assistance.
|
||
467
|
||
468
|
||
469 LEONARD: I was not exactly trying to be
|
||
470 factual, I was trying to make a point.
|
||
471 And the last I heard East Germany was communist and had
|
||
472 very little to do with our economy. Learned that in
|
||
473 social studies you know.
|
||
474 But my point was, you can't solve anything
|
||
475 by destroying the world. Except maybe peace (or maybe Pieces, millions of
|
||
476 little PIECES!).
|
||
477
|
||
478 FOTI
|
||
479 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
||
480 *********************************************************************
|
||
481 DEB: RABID?! YUCK! NO, NO PETS, JUST THE COMUNAL DUCKS AND GEESE,BEAVER,
|
||
482 AND OTHER ODD AND ASSORTED TYPICAL NEIGBORHOOD ANIMALS, BUT NO PETS.
|
||
483 **********************************************************************
|
||
484
|
||
485 FOTI, as i recall, you had indicated of Russia taking over Germany.
|
||
486 now since Russia already has control of East Germany, i think that Leonard
|
||
487 was save to assume that you were speaking of West Germany which Russia
|
||
488 doesn't currently control (though they would like to very much, and
|
||
489 have continually stated so). However, be that as it may, thinking logically
|
||
490 doesn't help a whole lot when dealing with large super governments such as
|
||
491 the US and Russia. Keep in mind that they have a vested interest in maintainling
|
||
492 control over the various contries for a number of reasosns, one as you pointed
|
||
493 out, the need to keep the source of their resorces in freindly hands.
|
||
494 But also, the desire to have others believe in the same way of life as
|
||
495 they do. They are no different then religonites in that respect, and is
|
||
496 problably why the two have gone hand in hand so often in the past.
|
||
497 A good way to view the two countries, is to think of them as a couple
|
||
498 of street gangs defending their turf, and trying to expand that teritory
|
||
499 whereever possible. SUre it aiN't logical to blow the world to smitherens,
|
||
500 but who ever said the world was run in a logical manner?
|
||
501 ++++++++++++++++++++++ I. S. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
|
||
502 Black and yellow stars floated before the Poet's eyes as he tried to focus
|
||
503 his attention on what the Piper was saying.
|
||
504 "The ale? Yerrsss, itbf'S stglrongler thann yushull..."
|
||
505 He had to stop at that point, because someone was flashing the lights. This
|
||
506 struck him as odd, for as all actors know it's nearly impossible to flash
|
||
507 candle-and-lamplight. Flicker, yes; flash, no. He was attempting to comment
|
||
508 on this to Graymalkin when the room began spinning, and he was sucked down
|
||
509 into blackness...
|
||
510 && The Mad Actor &&
|
||
511 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
|
||
512 ............................. . . . . .
|
||
513 .
|
||
514 a thought drifting in blackness..
|
||
515 the apprentice reality pills.
|
||
516 ...hairy fishnuts.......NO!!...the thought was too mutch
|
||
517 ....flying fish
|
||
518 ......blackness
|
||
519
|
||
520 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
|
||
521 The apprentice, realizing that the ale had been drugged spun into action.
|
||
522 He made a few gestures (later onlookers would claim that his hands seemed to
|
||
523 flicker in and out of existence), and spoke an incantation under his breath. The
|
||
524 room seemed to recede into the distance and then snapped back into sharp focus.
|
||
525 As the drinkers straightened up, he spoke; "I'm sorry but I had to remove ALL
|
||
526 the foriegn substances in your bodies, what a waste of good liquor..."
|
||
527 "I suggest that we continue this discussion in private," raising his voice,
|
||
528 "Milord innkeeper, we shall be using the OTHER back room."
|
||
529 "But there isn't..." began the innkeeper. The apprentice raised an eyebrow,
|
||
530 paused and then winked. The innkeeper finished," Very well, whatever you say."
|
||
531 He turned away muttering something about "people changing the inn all the time."
|
||
532 ...................................the apprentice...............................
|
||
533 Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall,
|
||
534 Aleph-null bottles of beer.
|
||
535 Take one down, pass it around.
|
||
536 Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall.
|
||
537
|
||
538 The bard broke off the song he had been singing (for some time it seemed) and
|
||
539 looked around. The ale... there must have been something in it..
|
||
540
|
||
541 His head clear now, he observed the exchange between the apprentice & the
|
||
542 innkeeper with a smile. Rising to join the others in moving to "the OTHER" (?!)
|
||
543 backroom, he suddenly remembered a request that d had made just before things
|
||
544 started getting weird.
|
||
545 He paused, bowed toward the lady and began.
|
||
546 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||
547 The Dying Robot (words: Jeff Speiser, tune: Red River Valley)
|
||
548 Oh, this lonely old robot is aching,
|
||
549 And his parts, they are wearing away.
|
||
550 Some new parts he'll soon now be needing,
|
||
551 But their cost no one will defray.
|
||
552
|
||
553 Oh, my photoreceptors are failing,
|
||
554 And my eyesight begins to grow dim.
|
||
555 Some new parts they say they are mailing,
|
||
556 But my chances begin to look slim.
|
||
557
|
||
558 I've been true, I've been brave, I've been loyal.
|
||
559 I have met each and every human test.
|
||
560 But as soon as this tired body wears out
|
||
561 They'll just toss me on the scrap heap with the rest.
|
||
562 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BARD~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||
563 ps piper, I see that you recognized them too! shhh, don't spill the beans (ouch!)
|
||
564 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||
565 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
|
||
566 d, SHALL I ASSUME YOU ARE GOING TO BE AROUND FOR A WHILE? PERHAPS I
|
||
567 COULD INTEREST YOU IN A LIVELY DISCUSSION.......LIKE THE ONES THAT USED
|
||
568 TO RAMPAGE BETWEEN US. WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN SUCH AN EXCHANGE?.......
|
||
569 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!DEBORAH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
|
||
570 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
|
||
|
||
> |