104 lines
5.9 KiB
Plaintext
104 lines
5.9 KiB
Plaintext
..::::....::::::::........::.........:::.
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| : ø ø : ~,~~
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- (.) - : ø ø ø ø : /-)(
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| t-file : ø Hallucinatory Oyster Burrito ø : ()=
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assault : ø ø ø : HOOKA!
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.:.....:......::::........:::........:::.:.
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25 October 1994 Issue #33
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An Invitation to Cheating!
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by G”tterdammer<65>ng
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As exam time nears, students everywhere are busily getting ready for
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the final test of their scholastic achievement for the entire year. And
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for a large proportion of the student population, it is time to plan the
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largest cheating scam of the last two semesters.
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It is silly to deny the truth. In every classroom, the knowledge of
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students will be supplemented by the assistance of concealed
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"test-assistants." In fact, it is foolish to deny that many of GlenOak's
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finest have reached the pinnacle of scholarly success through questionable
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It is safe to assume that the higher echelon of GlenOak's senior class have
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relied heavily on the use of "cheating" in order to reach their current
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grade point averages.
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However, those students who employ techniques of unethical test-taking
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deserve the high grades. It is obvious that these students are the truly
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intelligent ones. The goal of the American education system is not learning;
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especially in affluent, college-preparatory suburbs like Plain Township, the
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goal of American education is a high GPA and high SAT/ACT scores. What a
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student has really learned or experienced in his eighteen years of life is
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irrelevant.
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It is quite simple. There are essentially two ways of getting good grades.
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One way (the one championed by teachers) is to study hard, stay home and
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read chapter upon chapter of bookwork, repeatedly do algebraic problems that
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were understood after the first five and "play the game" of the teachers.
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Unfortunately, this path is long and arduous. It is often complicated and
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also allows little time for experiencing life. And, sometimes, this path
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offers up a person's dignity for grades.
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But there is a far easier way to achieve grades! Cheating is the way. It is
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often quicker, more effective and less time-consuming. The intelligent
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person would realize that there is a better way to achieving the end that
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is desired: good grades. It is the American way. It is capitalism at its
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very best.
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Ah, but what about later in life? "You can't cheat your entire life," shout
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the anti-cheating advocates (the administration). Oh, but that simply is not
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true; quite the contrary, in fact. John D. Rockefeller built his financial
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empire upon loopholes in federal law. And in the same way, students build
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their academic success upon loopholes in teacher surveillance.
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That may be so, but what about learning? If a student cheats, then he is
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only hurting himself because he doesn't learn anything. But, remember: as
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was already stated, American education is geared towards grades, not
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towards learning.
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But just for the sake of argument it can be assumed for a moment that
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American schools want students to be well-rounded intelligent people instead
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of grade-conscious robots. Students who actually take the time to study what
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they are shown hardly ever remember it any longer than two to three weeks
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after the unit is over. There is no significant advantage to "learning" these
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things. Also, students who engage in creating cheat sheets or other
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complicated schemes often learn the "facts" of the unit by writing it down.
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Perhaps it shouldn't be this way. It certainly is, but maybe it shouldn't.
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The United States public education system encourages this activity. There
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is no educational ethic in the schools. Students realize that they are
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there only for grades and not really to learn.
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Some classes, admittedly, are run by very progressive teachers that
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understand these concepts. And GlenOak is lucky to have these teachers.
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But as a whole, this is not the case. How often do students ask a question
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during a pre-test review and the teacher responds with, "Well, don't worry,
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you don't need to know that for the test."
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Schools should not be run like prison-camps. Students shouldn't have to beg
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to use the restroom. And the problems that modern schools face are not the
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product of declining families or urban collapse or drugs or anything like
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that.
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The problem is the paternalistic structure that schools employ. Silly as
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it may seem, students should be excited about learning and actually desire
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to know things that will help them in the future. However, as long as
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American education is set up the way it is, this will not be achieved.
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So, students: get out your cheat sheets, tape those notes underneath the
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microscope and get ready to do your best!
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`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
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Hallucinatory Oyster Burrito
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An AUFHEBEN Production! support: tyrant: numbah:
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"Why, I don't know much of The Seinsfrage .. DDE WHQ!.. 216.966.7453
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anything!" -Eraserhead Radio KAOS ... Moonshadow .. 216.830.4657
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_Submission Policy_: Hallucinatory Oyster Burrito is into subs!
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If you write something - anything - send it to us and we'll get it
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to press. For contacting HOB, see below.
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Want to be a support board for HOB? Download ALL the HOB's and DDE's
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create a file sig on your board, and let me know. Your BBS will
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be listed. TO CONTACT US: Call the WHQ (The Seinsfrage) or you
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can send e-mail to Bogus Nomenclature on Radio KAOS. Internet
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address is coming soon!
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`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
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-eof-
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