textfiles/magazines/DDE/hob33.txt

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                  25 October 1994             Issue #33


                        An Invitation to Cheating!
                                by G<>tterdammer<65>ng

   As exam time nears, students everywhere are busily getting ready for 
the final test of their scholastic achievement for the entire year. And 
for a large proportion of the student population, it is time to plan the 
largest cheating scam of the last two semesters.
It is silly to deny the truth. In every classroom, the knowledge of 
students will be supplemented by the assistance of concealed 
"test-assistants." In fact, it is foolish to deny that many of GlenOak's 
finest have reached the pinnacle of scholarly success through questionable
It is safe to assume that the higher echelon of GlenOak's senior class have 
relied heavily on the use of "cheating" in order to reach their current 
grade point averages. 
   However, those students who employ techniques of unethical test-taking 
deserve the high grades. It is obvious that these students are the truly 
intelligent ones. The goal of the American education system is not learning; 
especially in affluent, college-preparatory suburbs like Plain Township, the 
goal of American education is a high GPA and high SAT/ACT scores. What a 
student has really learned or experienced in his eighteen years of life is 
irrelevant. 
   It is quite simple. There are essentially two ways of getting good grades. 
One way (the one championed by teachers) is to study hard, stay home and 
read chapter upon chapter of bookwork, repeatedly do algebraic problems that 
were understood after the first five and "play the game" of the teachers.
Unfortunately, this path is long and arduous. It is often complicated and 
also allows little time for experiencing life. And, sometimes, this path 
offers up a person's dignity for grades.
   But there is a far easier way to achieve grades! Cheating is the way. It is 
often quicker, more effective and less time-consuming. The intelligent 
person would realize that there is a better way to achieving the end that 
is desired: good grades. It is the American way. It is capitalism at its 
very best. 
   Ah, but what about later in life? "You can't cheat your entire life," shout 
the anti-cheating advocates (the administration). Oh, but that simply is not 
true; quite the contrary, in fact. John D. Rockefeller built his financial 
empire upon loopholes in federal law. And in the same way, students build 
their academic success upon loopholes in teacher surveillance. 
That may be so, but what about learning? If a student cheats, then he is 
only hurting himself because he doesn't learn anything. But, remember: as 
was already stated, American education is geared towards grades, not 
towards learning. 
   But just for the sake of argument it can be assumed for a moment that
American schools want students to be well-rounded intelligent people instead 
of grade-conscious robots. Students who actually take the time to study what 
they are shown hardly ever remember it any longer than two to three weeks
after the unit is over. There is no significant advantage to "learning" these 
things. Also, students who engage in creating cheat sheets or other 
complicated schemes often learn the "facts" of the unit by writing it down. 
Perhaps it shouldn't be this way. It certainly is, but maybe it shouldn't. 
The United States public education system encourages this activity. There 
is no educational ethic in the schools. Students realize that they are 
there only for grades and not really to learn.
   Some classes, admittedly, are run by very progressive teachers that 
understand these concepts. And GlenOak is lucky to have these teachers. 
But as a whole, this is not the case. How often do students ask a question 
during a pre-test review and the teacher responds with, "Well, don't worry, 
you don't need to know that for the test." 
Schools should not be run like prison-camps. Students shouldn't have to beg 
to use the restroom. And the problems that modern schools face are not the 
product of declining families or urban collapse or drugs or anything like 
that. 
   The problem is the paternalistic structure that schools employ. Silly as
it may seem, students should be excited about learning and actually desire 
to know things that will help them in the future. However, as long as 
American education is set up the way it is, this will not be achieved.
So, students: get out your cheat sheets, tape those notes underneath the 
microscope and get ready to do your best!


                                              
                    


              
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