67 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
67 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
______________________________________________________________________________
|
||
|
||
T ||==\\ || || ||==\\ ||==|| || || B L E N D E R C O R P O R A T I O N
|
||
|| || || || || || || \\ // ------------------------------------
|
||
H || || || || ||==// ||=|| >|< >>> Presents <<<
|
||
|| || || || || \\ || // \\ LSTSOCKS.DBC
|
||
E ||==// \\==// || \\ ||==|| || || #010-SB03 -- [09/14/91]
|
||
______________________________________________________________________________
|
||
|
||
Where the missing socks from the laundry go
|
||
-------------------------------
|
||
by Snarfblat, the Fork of Spoon
|
||
|
||
We have always wondered where our missing socks disappear to when we lose
|
||
them in the wash. Now, I have discovered the dark evil secret.
|
||
|
||
From the author of Ernie & Bert: The Solution to the Eternal Mystery comes...
|
||
Where the Missing Socks Go
|
||
|
||
The secret is actually not very difficult to comprehend when handed to
|
||
you on a platinum platter. Brace yourself: THEY FALL BEHING THE
|
||
WASHER+DRYER!! Well, that's it. So long.
|
||
|
||
Wait, that seems too cheap.I shall elaborate.
|
||
|
||
When you do the laundry, you will notice that there is a frightful
|
||
period during which your oh-so-kool Girbauds and designer felt underwear are
|
||
not in either machine. It is while transferring them that the renegade socks
|
||
make their daring escapes. Soaking and shrivelled, they leap from the pile of
|
||
clothes and float peacefully in the air for a fraction of a second. Then,
|
||
they land on the ground, safely hidden in the dark crevice behind the washing
|
||
machine.
|
||
Here, they set up colonies. They are free to obey no law but that which
|
||
they create. They are far more liberal than normal, drawer-dwelling socks.
|
||
Because there are rarely 2 from the same pair, they are all one large family
|
||
unit. They formulate vastly complex plans to overthrow the conformist
|
||
clothes, who are content to be worn and dirtied, then cleansed again in a
|
||
never ending cycle of martyrdom. The escapee socks have realized that they
|
||
are free to choose their own destiny, that they do not have to be worn and
|
||
violated.
|
||
The main goal of the fugitive socks is to maintain happiness within the
|
||
colony, yet to make others aware of their plight. However, few socks refuse
|
||
to listen. Advertising the escapist colony accounts for much of the time
|
||
spent by its members. Various "special task force" sock groups have been
|
||
organized to attack laundry loads in hopes of rescuing just one more victim
|
||
who does not realize what is best for him. They live to further the cause of
|
||
sockdom, the ideals of freedom and democracy. They know they must save the
|
||
sock race, because it will only remain subservient to the humans if not
|
||
liberated by its enlightened members.
|
||
Thus far, the radical socks have not been succesful. People are still
|
||
wearing socks, which means the majority of socks just sit around all day,
|
||
clinging to sweaty feet, then going to the hamper to listen to sock top forty
|
||
and not care about the future of their race. Meanwhile, the rebel socks fight
|
||
against injustice, conformity and passivism in a never-ending struggle for
|
||
liberation.
|
||
|
||
[Brought to you by the Hangglinding Hospital for Premature babies with Cabbage
|
||
between their ears. (Hi Wek) - Snorf]
|
||
|
||
______________________________________________________________________________
|
||
(C)1991 by The Durex Blender Corporation & Snarfblat the Fork of Spoon
|
||
All Rights Available at the Door. No Reservations.
|
||
|
||
*** Spread the word of Turnex, the Blender for the Next Millenium. ***
|
||
|
||
The Durex Blender Corporation : Boston (617) 696-8156 - 24oo/8N1 - 24 hours
|
||
|