67 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
67 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
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T ||==\\ || || ||==\\ ||==|| || || B L E N D E R C O R P O R A T I O N
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|| || || || || || || \\ // ------------------------------------
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H || || || || ||==// ||=|| >|< >>> Presents <<<
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|| || || || || \\ || // \\ LSTSOCKS.DBC
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E ||==// \\==// || \\ ||==|| || || #010-SB03 -- [09/14/91]
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______________________________________________________________________________
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Where the missing socks from the laundry go
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-------------------------------
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by Snarfblat, the Fork of Spoon
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We have always wondered where our missing socks disappear to when we lose
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them in the wash. Now, I have discovered the dark evil secret.
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From the author of Ernie & Bert: The Solution to the Eternal Mystery comes...
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Where the Missing Socks Go
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The secret is actually not very difficult to comprehend when handed to
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you on a platinum platter. Brace yourself: THEY FALL BEHING THE
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WASHER+DRYER!! Well, that's it. So long.
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Wait, that seems too cheap.I shall elaborate.
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When you do the laundry, you will notice that there is a frightful
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period during which your oh-so-kool Girbauds and designer felt underwear are
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not in either machine. It is while transferring them that the renegade socks
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make their daring escapes. Soaking and shrivelled, they leap from the pile of
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clothes and float peacefully in the air for a fraction of a second. Then,
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they land on the ground, safely hidden in the dark crevice behind the washing
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machine.
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Here, they set up colonies. They are free to obey no law but that which
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they create. They are far more liberal than normal, drawer-dwelling socks.
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Because there are rarely 2 from the same pair, they are all one large family
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unit. They formulate vastly complex plans to overthrow the conformist
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clothes, who are content to be worn and dirtied, then cleansed again in a
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never ending cycle of martyrdom. The escapee socks have realized that they
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are free to choose their own destiny, that they do not have to be worn and
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violated.
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The main goal of the fugitive socks is to maintain happiness within the
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colony, yet to make others aware of their plight. However, few socks refuse
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to listen. Advertising the escapist colony accounts for much of the time
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spent by its members. Various "special task force" sock groups have been
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organized to attack laundry loads in hopes of rescuing just one more victim
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who does not realize what is best for him. They live to further the cause of
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sockdom, the ideals of freedom and democracy. They know they must save the
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sock race, because it will only remain subservient to the humans if not
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liberated by its enlightened members.
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Thus far, the radical socks have not been succesful. People are still
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wearing socks, which means the majority of socks just sit around all day,
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clinging to sweaty feet, then going to the hamper to listen to sock top forty
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and not care about the future of their race. Meanwhile, the rebel socks fight
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against injustice, conformity and passivism in a never-ending struggle for
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liberation.
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[Brought to you by the Hangglinding Hospital for Premature babies with Cabbage
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between their ears. (Hi Wek) - Snorf]
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______________________________________________________________________________
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(C)1991 by The Durex Blender Corporation & Snarfblat the Fork of Spoon
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All Rights Available at the Door. No Reservations.
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*** Spread the word of Turnex, the Blender for the Next Millenium. ***
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The Durex Blender Corporation : Boston (617) 696-8156 - 24oo/8N1 - 24 hours
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