208 lines
8.0 KiB
Plaintext
208 lines
8.0 KiB
Plaintext
June 25, 1993.
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The Death Of BLaH
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[ Before Reading This, don't forget to read Issue 18 of "BLaH ]
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[ The Tfile Group Of Steel", Issue 69 of "Tfile League America",]
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[ Issue 74 of "BLaH", Issue 497 of "The Adventures of BLaH", ]
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[ issue 684 of "BLaH Action Comics", And Issue 19 of ]
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[ "BLaH The Tfile Group of Steel" <in that order> ]
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<Really /<-Rad Bleeding BLaH Sig goes Here>
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The Battle Has Devastated the better part of America... Leaving a
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Path of destruction almost as long.
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Earth's Mightiest Tfile Groups have already fallen under PeNiS'
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Murderous Blitzkreig.
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Only One Hope.... One MAN Remains...
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"It Stops Here Mister! This insanity ENDS in CHICAGO!" The
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Mexian/Alien Man Screams.
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A few members of The Cult Of The Dead Cow S.W.A.T. Team Fly by...
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"Focus your fire on the creature!" One CDC Member Yelled.
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"The Weapons Boys and in R&D say these shock cannons could take
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Out a Whore Virus!!" Another Shrieks.
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"Move In Closer! We're Broadcasting this LIVE!" A Roar from the BNN
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Helicopter was heard.
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"How can we handle this guy when Guido Can't? This Really May Be.."
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PeNiSDaY!
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"Have to move faster... Match PeNiS' Speed... Or I'm DONE!" Guido
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Thought as he was being picked up and thrown.
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"LOOK OUT!" Yelled Connie Lane, Lead Reporter for BNN.
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The PeNiS Head Threw Guido into the Passing by BNN Helicopter.
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"Too Late, Ms. Lane! Our Hydraulic Cables have just been sheared
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in half!" The Pilot Screamed.
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"Blast! All These onlookers and choppers are complicating matters
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by getting in the way!" Guido Thought to himself.
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"It's Getting nasty here, Mr. Lemuel! We Better back off!"
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"No Way! We Are NOT going to MISS the story of the century!"
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"Man, I Don't Believe this! I May Be Getting the greatest picutures
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Ever, But it's costing us half the city!" The Photo Boy, Hose,
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Remarked.
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"Guido, Are you all right? You look so... so... " Connie Spoke.
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Guido, now flying with the helicopter on his back...
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"I'd Like to get you two as for from danger as possible but I just
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don't have the time!" No Telling How many Lives The PeNiS Head could
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take While I'm Gone!"
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Hose now panicing worse than ever, "He's shrugging off that connon
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Fire like it was nothing! He's UNSTOPPABLE!"
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"Please, maybe you should retreat and get help! If Hose is right..."
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Connie Pleaded.
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"Too Late, Connie! The Tfile League America Has already fallen and
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there are too many innocents in jeapordy right now! It's up to ME."
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Guido boldly Says.
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"Guido, I..."
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"Just Remember, No Matter what happens... I'll always Love You...
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ALWAYS." Guido says as he Pulls Connie into a passionate kiss,
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Tears falling from Connie's Eyes.
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Guido Pulls away. "But Now... PeNiS GETS HIS."
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"Wait! Come Back. PLEASE Come Back." Connie pleads.
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"Wow, I don't think I've Ever seen the big guy so fired up!" Hose
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Admits.
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Guido Slams into The PeNiS Head. "Nobody Tears apart MY city and
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gets away with it! I Don't know what hole you crawled out of or
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where you came from.. But I'm Sending you BACK!"
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Lenuel in the the helicopter yips "Can You Believe that? If this
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keeps up we won't have a city left! Stay close se we can keep up the
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Broadcast! The whole country will want to see Guido Kick this Creep's
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Butt!"
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"I want to keep firing but it's impossible! They're moving too fast!"
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A Flying by CDC Member Pouts.
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"BAH HAA!" The PeNiS Head Laughs as he Slams Guido's Head into the
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pavement.
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"Can't... UHF!"
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"Stay Back, Miss Lane! We Don't need to get that close to get a
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Decent Picture!" Hose Babbles.
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"Don't Worry about Pictures! Guido is in trouble... and I intend
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to help him!" Connie shouts.
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"I don't think we're going to get that chance! PeNiS is coming this
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way!" Hose yips.
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"Move while you can, Hose! I'll distract him while you run!"
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Connie shouts.
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"Enough, PeNiS! If You want to get your hands on my friends..
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You're going to have to KILL me first!" Guido Yells as Slamming
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into The PeNiS Head's Back.
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"What Is He? What does he want?" Connie Questions.
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"He Wants Destruction... and Death! To Stop him I Have to be every
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Bit as ferocious... and Unrelenting as he is!"
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"But... You CAN'T! He wants to kill, and you.. you can't!"
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"ARRRRR! Bulging Protrusions... so big... he almost poked my eye out!"
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Guido shieks in agony.
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"I'm Hurt Bad... can barely stay conscious!... unnngh... Must Take
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him down... now!" Guido thinks to himself.
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"If those Bulges are just extensions of his... <THUMP!> .. YES!
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I've finally manages to HURT him!"
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"Exhausted... But I have to keep fighting... Until I drop...
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Or HE DOES!"
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"They hit each other so hard the windows are shattering!" One
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Observer Notices.
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"Watch out for the falling glass!" another shouts.
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"This is it! Looks like we're both betting everything we've got
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on this one! For Connie... and Hose... for this ENTIRE CITY...
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I've Got to put this guy away while I still can!" Guido Thinks as
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he throws his final punch...
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Like weary Boxers that have gone the distance, the combatants collide
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in one last, explosive effort. The the years to come a few witnesses
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tell of the power of these final punches... that they could literally
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FEEL the shockwaves. Others will remember the enormous crater that
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resulted from the sheer force of the blows. But most will remember
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this sad day... As the day the proudest, most noble man they ever
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knew...
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<Shah Right> Connie Mutters.
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...finally fell. For those who loved him... one who would call him
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husband... one who would call be his pal...Or those who would call
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him son... this is the darkest day they could ever imagine. They
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raised him to be a hero... to know the value of sacrifice. To know
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the value of LIFE. And for those who served with Guido in the
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protection of all life...
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"We... we Didn't make it in time!" One TLA Member Yiped.
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"He MUST Survive. It cannot end like this!" Another Cried.
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But It Will.
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For a city to live, a man had given his all and more.
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"Please Hang On! The Paramedics will be here any second! PLEASE!"
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Connie screamed, with the tears crawling down.
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"PeNiS... is he... is he... " Guido Mumbled with all the strength
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he had left.
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"You Stopped Him! You saved us all! Now Relax until..."
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But It's too late. For this is the Day...
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That a Guido Died.
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{The Last BLaH file? The last one you'll probably see at the }
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{Obloid Sphere, at least. Guido is gone. In fact, right now }
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{the only BLaH <sigh>ts are Me and LCN's Board, and he was DELETED}
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{from LCN's Board. Go figure. So Guido is really gone. Will we }
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{ever see NBA again? Some questions are left to be answered. }
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{But until then... goodbye BLaH, and good riddance. }
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-Hetfield
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The BLaH <sigh>Ts
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The Obloid Sphere (708)965-3098 [14.4]
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The Battle Of Evermore (312)476-1508 [2400]
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