textfiles/magazines/BLAH/blah-die.txt

                                                              June 25, 1993.


                        The Death Of BLaH


      [ Before Reading This, don't forget to read Issue 18 of "BLaH   ]
      [ The Tfile Group Of Steel", Issue 69 of "Tfile League America",]
      [ Issue 74 of "BLaH",  Issue 497 of "The Adventures of BLaH",   ]
      [ issue 684 of "BLaH Action Comics", And Issue 19 of            ]
      [ "BLaH The Tfile Group of Steel" <in that order>               ]



                <Really /<-Rad Bleeding BLaH Sig goes Here>

        The Battle Has Devastated the better part of America... Leaving a
        Path of destruction almost as long.

        Earth's Mightiest Tfile Groups have already fallen under PeNiS'
        Murderous Blitzkreig.

        Only One Hope.... One MAN Remains...

        "It Stops Here Mister!  This insanity ENDS in CHICAGO!"  The
        Mexian/Alien Man Screams.

        A few members of The Cult Of The Dead Cow S.W.A.T.  Team Fly by...

        "Focus your fire on the creature!"  One CDC Member Yelled.

        "The Weapons Boys and in R&D say these shock cannons could take
        Out a Whore Virus!!" Another Shrieks.

        "Move In Closer!  We're Broadcasting this LIVE!"  A Roar from the BNN
        Helicopter was heard.

        "How can we handle this guy when Guido Can't?  This Really May Be.."

        PeNiSDaY!

        "Have to move faster... Match PeNiS' Speed... Or I'm DONE!"  Guido
        Thought as he was being picked up and thrown.

        "LOOK OUT!"  Yelled Connie Lane, Lead Reporter for BNN.

        The PeNiS Head Threw Guido into the Passing by BNN Helicopter.

        "Too Late, Ms.  Lane! Our Hydraulic Cables have just been sheared
        in half!" The Pilot Screamed.

        "Blast! All These onlookers and choppers are complicating matters
        by getting in the way!"  Guido Thought to himself.

        "It's Getting nasty here, Mr. Lemuel! We Better back off!"

        "No Way!  We Are NOT going to MISS the story of the century!"

        "Man, I Don't Believe this! I May Be Getting the greatest picutures
        Ever, But it's costing us half the city!"  The Photo Boy, Hose,
        Remarked.

        "Guido, Are you all right? You look so... so... "  Connie   Spoke.

        Guido, now flying with the helicopter on his back...

        "I'd Like to get you two as for from danger as possible but I just
        don't have the time!"  No Telling How many Lives The PeNiS Head could
        take While I'm Gone!"

        Hose now panicing worse than ever, "He's shrugging off that connon
        Fire like it was nothing! He's UNSTOPPABLE!"

        "Please, maybe you should retreat and get help! If Hose is right..."
        Connie Pleaded.

        "Too Late, Connie! The Tfile League America Has already fallen and
        there are too many innocents in jeapordy right now! It's up to ME."
        Guido boldly Says.

        "Guido, I..."

        "Just Remember, No Matter what happens... I'll always Love You...
        ALWAYS."  Guido says as he Pulls Connie into a passionate kiss,
        Tears falling from Connie's Eyes.

        Guido Pulls away.  "But Now... PeNiS GETS HIS."

        "Wait! Come Back.  PLEASE Come Back."  Connie pleads.

        "Wow, I don't think I've Ever seen the big guy so fired up!"  Hose
        Admits.

        Guido Slams into The PeNiS Head.  "Nobody Tears apart MY city and
        gets away with it!  I Don't know what hole you crawled out of or
        where you came from.. But I'm Sending you BACK!"

        Lenuel in the the helicopter yips "Can You Believe that?  If this
        keeps up we won't have a city left!  Stay close se we can keep up the
        Broadcast!  The whole country will want to see Guido Kick this Creep's
        Butt!"

        "I want to keep firing but it's impossible!  They're moving too fast!"
        A Flying by CDC Member Pouts.

        "BAH HAA!"  The PeNiS Head Laughs as he Slams Guido's Head into the
        pavement.

        "Can't... UHF!"

        "Stay Back, Miss Lane!  We Don't need to get that close to get a
        Decent Picture!"  Hose Babbles.

        "Don't Worry about Pictures!  Guido is in trouble... and I intend
        to help him!"  Connie shouts.

        "I don't think we're going to get that chance!  PeNiS is coming this
        way!"  Hose yips.

        "Move while you can, Hose! I'll distract him while you run!"
        Connie shouts.

        "Enough, PeNiS!  If You want to get your hands on my friends..
        You're going to have to KILL me first!"  Guido Yells as Slamming
        into The PeNiS Head's Back.

        "What Is He?  What does he want?"  Connie Questions.

        "He Wants Destruction... and Death!  To Stop him I Have to be every
        Bit as ferocious... and Unrelenting as he is!"

        "But... You CAN'T!  He wants to kill, and you.. you can't!"

        "ARRRRR!  Bulging Protrusions... so big... he almost poked my eye out!"
        Guido shieks in agony.

        "I'm Hurt Bad... can barely stay conscious!... unnngh... Must Take
        him down... now!"  Guido thinks to himself.

        "If those Bulges are just extensions of his... <THUMP!> .. YES!
        I've finally manages to HURT him!"

        "Exhausted... But I have to keep fighting... Until I drop...
        Or HE DOES!"

        "They hit each other so hard the windows are shattering!"  One
        Observer Notices.

        "Watch out for the falling glass!"  another shouts.

        "This is it!  Looks like we're both betting everything we've got
        on this one!  For Connie... and Hose... for this ENTIRE CITY...
        I've Got to put this guy away while I still can!"  Guido Thinks as
        he throws his final punch...

        Like weary Boxers that have gone the distance, the combatants collide
        in one last, explosive effort.  The the years to come a few witnesses
        tell of the power of these final punches... that they could literally
        FEEL the shockwaves.  Others will remember the enormous crater that
        resulted from the sheer force of the blows.  But most will remember
        this sad day... As the day the proudest, most noble man they ever
        knew...

        <Shah Right>  Connie Mutters.

        ...finally fell.  For those who loved him... one who would call him
        husband... one who would call be his pal...Or those who would call
        him son... this is the darkest day they could ever imagine.  They
        raised him to be a hero... to know the value of sacrifice.  To know
        the value of LIFE.  And for those who served with Guido in the
        protection of all life...

        "We... we Didn't make it in time!"   One TLA Member Yiped.

        "He MUST Survive.  It cannot end like this!"  Another Cried.

        But It Will.

        For a city to live, a man had given his all and more.

        "Please Hang On!  The Paramedics will be here any second!  PLEASE!"
        Connie screamed, with the tears crawling down.

        "PeNiS... is he... is he... "  Guido Mumbled with all the strength
        he had left.

        "You Stopped Him!  You saved us all!  Now Relax until..."

        But It's too late.   For this is the Day...

        That a Guido Died.


        {The Last BLaH file?  The last one you'll probably see at the     }
        {Obloid Sphere, at least.  Guido is gone.  In fact, right now     }
        {the only BLaH <sigh>ts are Me and LCN's Board, and he was DELETED}
        {from LCN's Board.  Go figure.  So Guido is really gone.  Will we }
        {ever see NBA again?  Some questions are left to be answered.     }
        {But until then... goodbye BLaH, and good riddance.               }
                                                     -Hetfield


        The BLaH <sigh>Ts

        The Obloid Sphere       (708)965-3098 [14.4]
        The Battle Of Evermore  (312)476-1508 [2400]