46 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
46 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
Shaggy dog story, with bananas!
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Once there was a man who went all through college and decided he didn't
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like it, so he dropped out to become a trolley car conductor...He loved
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the trolley cars...he had loved them since he had been a child in San
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Francisco...every day he would watch the trolley cars go up the hill and
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down the hill; up the hill and down the hill...and he loved to watch
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them...except when old people got on the trolley cars, because they used
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to complain about the littlest (sic) things...as the man grew older he
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developed a hatred of old people, while retaining his love of trolley
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cars.
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So it was no surprise that the man, upon dropping out of school, decided
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to become a trolley car conductor...he spent his days going up the hill
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and down the hill; up the hill and down the hill, ringing the trolley car
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bell as he went...UNTIL...one day an old lady got on the trolley car and
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demanded change for the money she had put in the vend-o-matic, even though
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there was a sign clearly posting that the conductor did not make change...
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the conductor refused to make change for her, and this infuriated the old
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lady...at this point she began screaming at him and making such a scene
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that he lost control and threw her out on the trolley car tracks and ran
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over her...needless to say, he was arrested, tried, and found guilty...
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He was sentenced to die in the electric chair, and when the warden came to
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ask him what he wanted for his last meal, he responded "a dozen bananas".
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The warden was a bit surprised at the request, but honored it and the man
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promptly smashed up the bananas and smeared the juice all over his body...
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He was then taken to the electric chair and strapped in...ZAP...the
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executioner threw the switch, but the man lived...the executioner checked
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all the connections and threw the switch again...the man still lived...
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the executioner tried a third time, but the man still lived...now at this
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time, the law stated that if you didn't die by the third time, it was an
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act of God that you were still alive and you were released, so the man went
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free...
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He returned to his job at the trolley car...(go through the deaths of two
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more old people and trials and bananas smashed on bodies and three tries
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and man going free from electric chair)...after the man was set free for
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the third time, the warden approached him..."Three times you've been
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sentenced to die in the electric chair and three times, you've gone free...
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tell me why...is it the banana juice that you smear all over your body
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before going to the chair??"
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The man thought for a moment, and then slowly replied, "No, I don't think
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it's the bananas...I guess I'm just a bad conductor..."
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