46 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
46 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
|
Shaggy dog story, with bananas!
|
|||
|
|
Once there was a man who went all through college and decided he didn't
|
|||
|
|
like it, so he dropped out to become a trolley car conductor...He loved
|
|||
|
|
the trolley cars...he had loved them since he had been a child in San
|
|||
|
|
Francisco...every day he would watch the trolley cars go up the hill and
|
|||
|
|
down the hill; up the hill and down the hill...and he loved to watch
|
|||
|
|
them...except when old people got on the trolley cars, because they used
|
|||
|
|
to complain about the littlest (sic) things...as the man grew older he
|
|||
|
|
developed a hatred of old people, while retaining his love of trolley
|
|||
|
|
cars.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
So it was no surprise that the man, upon dropping out of school, decided
|
|||
|
|
to become a trolley car conductor...he spent his days going up the hill
|
|||
|
|
and down the hill; up the hill and down the hill, ringing the trolley car
|
|||
|
|
bell as he went...UNTIL...one day an old lady got on the trolley car and
|
|||
|
|
demanded change for the money she had put in the vend-o-matic, even though
|
|||
|
|
there was a sign clearly posting that the conductor did not make change...
|
|||
|
|
the conductor refused to make change for her, and this infuriated the old
|
|||
|
|
lady...at this point she began screaming at him and making such a scene
|
|||
|
|
that he lost control and threw her out on the trolley car tracks and ran
|
|||
|
|
over her...needless to say, he was arrested, tried, and found guilty...
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
He was sentenced to die in the electric chair, and when the warden came to
|
|||
|
|
ask him what he wanted for his last meal, he responded "a dozen bananas".
|
|||
|
|
The warden was a bit surprised at the request, but honored it and the man
|
|||
|
|
promptly smashed up the bananas and smeared the juice all over his body...
|
|||
|
|
He was then taken to the electric chair and strapped in...ZAP...the
|
|||
|
|
executioner threw the switch, but the man lived...the executioner checked
|
|||
|
|
all the connections and threw the switch again...the man still lived...
|
|||
|
|
the executioner tried a third time, but the man still lived...now at this
|
|||
|
|
time, the law stated that if you didn't die by the third time, it was an
|
|||
|
|
act of God that you were still alive and you were released, so the man went
|
|||
|
|
free...
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
He returned to his job at the trolley car...(go through the deaths of two
|
|||
|
|
more old people and trials and bananas smashed on bodies and three tries
|
|||
|
|
and man going free from electric chair)...after the man was set free for
|
|||
|
|
the third time, the warden approached him..."Three times you've been
|
|||
|
|
sentenced to die in the electric chair and three times, you've gone free...
|
|||
|
|
tell me why...is it the banana juice that you smear all over your body
|
|||
|
|
before going to the chair??"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
The man thought for a moment, and then slowly replied, "No, I don't think
|
|||
|
|
it's the bananas...I guess I'm just a bad conductor..."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|