textfiles/humor/COMPUTER/modemuse.hum

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Field Guide To Modem Users....
The Sysop
+ Faster than a speeding bullet
+ More powerful than a locomotive
+ Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound
+ Walks on water
+ Gives policy to God
The Co-Sysop
+ Just as fast as a speeding bullet
+ Almost as pwerful as a locomotive
+ Able to leap short buildings in a single bound
+ Walks on water with favorable weather conditions
+ Talks to God
The Board Sysop
+ Almost, but not quite, as fast as a speeding bullet
+ More powerful than a raging bull
+ Able to leap short buildings with a running start
+ Swims well
+ Talks to God after submitting special permission slip
The Privileged User
+ Wounds self when trying to shoot bullet
+ More powerful than an electric train
+ Crashes into buildings while trying to leap over them
+ Dog paddles
+ Talks to self
The Generic User
+ Not issued ammunition
+ More powerful than a toy poodle
+ Able to leap tall anthills in a single bound
+ Wades adequately
+ Argues with self
The Utter Loser
+ Almost as fast as the U.S. Postal Service
+ More powerful than the stench of unwashed socks
+ Recognizes buildings two out of three times
+ Drowns in toilet bowl
+ Argues with self -- and loses!!
The Advice Lady
+ Catches bullets in her teeth, chews them up, and spits out nails
+ Derails locomotives and throws them over her shoulder with her little
finger
+ Lifts buildings off their foundations and walks under them
+ Drinks oceans dry on a single breath
+ SHE IS GOD!!
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