textfiles/drugs/ALT.DRUGS/out-of-our-skulls

Ahhhh, yes I can remember my first trip well and it brings tears to my
eyes since it changed my life in excellent ways.
My story will probably be the longest here but 'oh well' it's worth the
reading.
I start with a note saying that I was not a serious druggy and was kind of cool and nerdy at the same time all my life, getting my kicks out of the mental, knowledge and facination of everything.
On that note, here goes....

It was 1986 in my apartment near Downtown Dallas.
One day I was at one of the many hippy families appartments in the complex and they said
if I wanted anything to drink, grab it out of the fridge.
I opened the fridge to grab a coke and BLAMMO, I saw over a thousand hits of
blotter rolled up in sheets which they called purple microdot.
I know microdot is a barrel (micro pellet) of LSD so it couldn't have been
microdot.
It was medium blue in color and in the center there was a small impefect 
purple circle that looked like it was made up with some sort of fungus or that an actual purple drop
of LSD was put in the center.
After examination under my little microscope I had since a child I noticed
that in the very center of the blotter there was a pin hole and a chrystal
substance, chrystalized across the hole (Alot like how salt is chrystalized
across the hole of a 'Cheeze Nip').
I then asked how fresh it was and they said it couldn't be any fresher since it was just 'sprayed'
a couple of hours before with a chrystal LSD concoction straight from a new batch at the 'Lab'.
So I asked them if I could purchase some from them and they said that I could
have a couple of hits, one for me and another for one of my old girlfriends and there was plenty
more where that came from!
Girlfriend and I went to my apartment, took a hit each while playing Isao Tomita's
version of Bolero and 'The Planets' on the stereo and sat in separate cumfy
chairs not knowing what to expect.
Within 20 minutes we both felt funny so we kind of worredly grinned at each other.
Between the 20 minute and 35 minute mark we both reported feeling like we were
on speed but a different kind of speed, more like a rush which kept getting
stronger and stronger and 'MY GOD' STRONGER.
By the 40 minute mark we though we were going to go out of our skulls since
the speed or pure energy we were feeling internaly was going to make us jump
out of our skin.
My girlfriend with gritted teeth and a very scrunched up face said 'I
love that music (Isao Tomita) but turn it off since it is making me feel even more speedy'.
I stood up, got a big acid rush which was something like a quick concussion
that resulted in me falling down flat on my face and it took me at least 3
minutes to crawl on my stomach to the stereo to turn it off.
(Thank goodness for the rush since it calmed me down instead of adding to
the feeling of jumping out of skin.)
I crawled back to the chair, took another 2 minutes to get firmly seated back
while my head litteraly felt like it was a block of lead.
The next 5 minutes my girlfriend and I attempted to communicate our experiences with each other
and were doing good at first then second after second our thoughts became more and more
nonsensical.
Before the 5 minutes was up my girlfriend's mouth was litteraly locked open, her eyes bugging
and sound coming out of her mouth.
What the acid did is litteraly lock up her brain temporarily to the point of where she though she
was carrying on a conversation, but instead, left her locked in exactly the state it was when she
was talking so she stuck that way for about a minute.
I WOULD have paniced or have really freaked on this if I was in my right mind but for once in my
life and only around 50 minutes into the trip I can surely say that I know what the Beatles meant
by 'So incredibly high'.
I mean, I was complete toast to the point of not only could I not move an inch but got to the point
where I felt like a 10 ton, lead marshmallow, smashed into a cumfy chair and a few minutes later I
simply did not exist.
Nope, I simply did not exist period.
I know for a fact that the stuff took me so far out that I'm convinced that
I completely even forgot to breath for a couple of minutes.
I would have been scared but remind you, there was nothing there to be scared, I was
goooooonnneee.
I was brought back by my girlfriend kissing me.
When I came to I felt exactly like one first waking up from surgery.
Here is where the fun part began!!!!
Here was my girlfriend kissing me in a new world that I just woke up in for the first time.
Her kiss gave me 'mental colors' meaning that her lipps triggered off colors
in my mind that I could feel but not see though they definitely had COLOR.
I opened my eyes, to my suprise, not seeing my girlfriend but a gigantic 10 foot wide head with 9
foot wide lipps and 4 foot bulgy eyes smiling at me.
I though to myself, 'OOOOOOH SHIIIIIT'.
She said something that sounded like 'You allright?' but instead it came out
as a swirly flanged and pitch altered whirl of noise with litteral audible
pitch shifted tracers (echoes of quick succession).
I wasn't scared but I was surely in a phsychotic state, with a scratchy
feeling throat, a neck that felt like a thick block of steel, nasals that felt restricted and a slight
cumpulsion to force myself to breath since I kept finding myself not breathing when I should then
suddenly gasping for air when I remembered to.
With wonderful flashes and flushes of repeating hot and cold and my girlfriend getting her 10 foot
head out of my view after she saw that I was doing fine I saw my apartment like it was a
completely different world.
First thing I looked at was the accoustic ceiling and it appeared (under the influence) of wonderful
dots of pastel green and pastel maroon on a white background.
The dots were in constant motion but mainly moving medium speed to slower speed while
occasionaly temporarily stopping while becoming fuzzy then moving again (the effect of flowing
sirup down a slope, then changing the slope another direction).
Occasionaly the colored dots would chase each other, playing cat and mouse and on that note I
went into around a 5 minute visualy mental trip of cats and mice chasing each other.
After I came back from the 'mental chase' trip I looked at the ceiling again, this time all the dots
aligned themself into splendid designs looking exactly like the curly designs found on Indian and
Arabian carpets (magic/flying carpets).
The patterns were in constant motion but still summetrical to the point of
perfectly making an entire pattern instead of a pile of random dots occasionaly aligning up.
What was real fun was standing up and getting closer to the ceiling and watching the dots not
scatter but remain in the same changing but summetric
shape which brough to reality that LSD doesn't just knock your eyes out of whack or anything
similar but truly does alter one's perception to the point of making real audibly, mentaly,
emotionaly and visualy things that truly do not exist except in one's mind.
My girlfriend turned Tomita's rendition of Bolero back on and not only did the music sound
heavenly and from another world but everything in the apartment happily danced, swayed and
rotated to the music with a slight fading or blending of some things when they rotated.
Tears came to my eyes since I felt in complete harmony with the music while
the rest of the apartment was moving in harmony with the music also.
Complete bliss and one with the apartment might not sound like much but it was the first time I felt
one with anything or anyone so it was a wonderful pleasure.
I made friends with all the moving artificial house plants, furniture, stereo and everything else and
was so elated to the point where musical notes each with it's own color came out of the stereo's
speakers and grew to about 5 feet then popped, blowing it's own color all over the apartment's
walls, carpet and I, which was funny because it felt like rain or jelly when a peice of the bursted
musical notes fell on me.
Ahhh, I thought to myself, what a wonderful playful land of fantasy, I wish I could stay like this
forever!!! (in a more psychotic way mind you).
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK on my apartment door I heard with many, many pitch shifted echoes.
I thought to myself again 'OOOOH SHIT', was it my parents or my girlfriend's?
Was it my hippy friends checking on us or was it the cops?!?!!
Nope, instead it was my friends Terry (45) and Mike (23).
Terry was an old, worn out looking, somewhat smelly hippy friend of mine from California and
Mike was a young California surfer type person who looked to me that his growth was stunted due
to all of the speed and coke he had done in his life.
Terry had taken 4 hits of the exact same acid we had taken while Mike had taken 2 hits.
Terry informed me with an extremely wild and psychotic look on his face that he had taken acid
since he was a teenager in the mid 60's on a constant basis and that he had never known or
experienced acid as damned powerful as we were all on now (survivalist of the 'bad acid' at
Woodstock).
I laughed since I could not easily understand what he was saying with all the echoes, pitch shifts,
phasing and flanging of his voice but after he repeated himself while yelling in my good ear about
a hundred times I got the message and picture.
He explained that since he had tripped so much that he was to the point of where he only got high
from acid not hallucinated or anything similar so he decided to take a joy ride when he took 4 hits
of the stuff we were all on.
He went on telling us that he passed out 30 minutes after taking it and had drove his 60's mobile
(typical multicolored hippy van) off a shallow bridge into a ditch, was not harmed but this had
really freaked both of them out baaaad.
I looked at Mike and he was not hurt but looked aweful, like a pale bronze statue that had been
frozen, about to shatter into peices.
Mike looked at me with wild eyes and burst out loud ,bellowing 'I'm dying man, I'm dying, the acid
is bad and I'm dying!!!'.
Well, needless to say, this all got us extremely jittery to say the least then Mike bolted out the door
and ran down the corridor of the apartment complex, waving his arms madly in the air screaming
at the top of his lungs 'It's the end of the world and I'm dying, I'm dying'.
My girlfriend and I looked at each other, paused then staggered out the door chasing Mike down,
covered up his mouth and dragged him back into my apartment, threw him on the couch, sat on
him, just about drowned him with orange juice all the while assuring him he was Ok.
My girlfriend and I suddenly came to the reality that we had been outside in the dark, we had seen
all kinds of weird monsters, lights, heard all kinds of noises and we both were suddenly wrought
with the feeling of sheer terror which was broken by Mike suddenly laughing and telling us he was
feeling wonderful.
After considerable time our terror subsided, we got our minds back on Mike, went over and
hugged him.
Poor Terry was in a corner of the living room of my appartment, facing the corner with his hands
wrapped around his head, going through his own repititions of 'OOOOHHH SHIIITT'.
I grabbed Terry, turned him around, his face looked completely into his state of mind which was
pure confusion and terror.
I shook Terry and told him Mike was Ok and laughing, gave him some orange juice and Terry was
off his terror after ALOT of assurance.
After a little bit, Terry and Mike thanked us from the bottom of their hearts (they almost wouldn't
stop), we hugged each other goodbye and Terry and Mike went back to their apartment to enjoy
the trip which got off to a terrible start.
My girlfriend and I was still shook up but at last we were alone again and became quite relaxed
after a little time (as if there was such a thing as time on acid).
After relaxing we came to the reality that we hadn't even peaked yet since the hallucinations and
mental deviations were becoming stronger and since we didn't have anything to concentrate on or
something as a center of axis like the Terry and Mike episode we slipped deeper and deeper into
the acid's clenches.
At this time, the experience was like a second peak , like a huge tidal wave that was just as strong
as the first hour.
'Here I go again' I said.
My girlfriend said 'here you go where again?'.
I said 'I'm about to leave again' then slowly with much effort said 'complete nonexistance'.
She said 'Go for it!!!'.
I went with it and it led me no where since all I got out of it was another conversation that fell into
complete gibberish, again with my girlfriend's brain locking up at the end'.
I didn't go under this time but was surely not even %10 there.
I had my eyes open though unable to move and the carpet of the living room started swirling, a
giant egg popped out of the floor like a woman slowly giving birth to a baby, then the egg slowly
split verticaly into several peices to where the peices looked like giant, wonderful, multihued flower
petals.
After contemplating the egg which turned into a flower for a little, I remember reading about other
people's trips, many of them consisting of giant orbs etc and was overwhelmed with a self
significance and harmony again while the flower slowly sucked back into an egg and the egg back
into the swirling carpet, dissapeared.
What was I thinking when the egg left?
I was thinking how bad I needed to piss.
It would seem that I would have the egg still on my mind since it was a thing one rarely sees but I
had to piss bad.
I stood up, got another acid rush, fell to my face, stood up again (very carefully this time) and
staggered very badly into the bathroom, temporarily fixing my eyes on the accoustic ceiling doing
it's show still, an air vent which I swore had a couple of eyes looking out at me and completely
caught up in a worldwind of phased and flanged sounds (which was air coming from the air vent
but changed to the point of sounding like a jet engine on takeoff).
When I finnaly got to the bathroom I lifted up the lid.
Hmmmm, I said to myself, even on acid I remembered to lift up the toilet lid
so that my girlfriend doesn't bitch at me.
I started laughing to the point of where I fell into the floor and simply could not get up for awile, all
along my pants were already down so I was partly naked but I was so caught up in the humor of
the toilet seat I could care less.
After I composed myself, I crawled up the bathroom shelf upright then stood over the toilet for
seemingly the longest time before anything came out all the while looking at the stucco bathroom
walls while the stucco patterns were turning back and forth between little high speed wheels of
colors, morphing to thousands of multicolored spiders with all their leggs joined all around the
room with the air conditioner's jet engine sounds coming from all direction and enveloping me to
the point of seeing and 'understanding' the cosmic meaning of the noises.
Finnaly I started to urinate and was overwhelmed with the fact that I was pissing the most colorfull
rainbows while the piss was hitting the toilet's water and making the sound of a bubbling spring!!!
The bathroom was instantly (and litteral appearing) transformed into a wonderful range of
mountains, rainbows, bubbling brooks and multicolored birds, all the while a beautiful song started
to play.
'Ahhhh, this must be heaven' I though to myself.
Suddenly as quick as I went to the wonderful land I was back into the bathroom again with my
eyes looking at my rainbows being flushed down the toilet.
I staggered back into the living room where my girlfriend was and set down next to her on a
couch.
She was playing with her leg in a very odd manner.
I asked her what she was doing.
She said 'Oh, I'm just playing space invaders on my pants leg'.
I said 'What?'
She repeated herself and told me that she was winning but at one point she was sucked into one
of the invader's spacecraft and that she had to bribe herself free.
I asked her what she bribed the invader with and she yelled out' Damnit, you made me loose my
concentration, I lost the game'.
She paused, looked back at her pants leg expecting to see space invaders and instead
whimpered a little then secretly whispered to me in the deepest way 'I smell strawberries'.
I said to myself 'Hmm strawberry fields? Cool!!!'.
She then whispered to me 'Holly Hobby and Strawberry Shortcake are both on my pants leggs'.
'While I don't mind them there, they belong on TV, not on my pants legs, get them off NOW!!!' she
yelled.
I humored her and acted like I was brushing them off.
She said I knocked them under the couch.
I beleived her since I was on acid anyhow and knew from the previous couple of hours that
anything was possible.
We both looked under the couch and found nothing except for a false fingernail that my girlfriend
insisted was her entire finger that she accidently broke off while playing space invaders, assuring
me that she was growing back another finger and everything would be Ok.
I paused, laughed, paused again with a blank look then forgot about the whole thing.
I was feeling tired (it was only 2&1/2 to 3 hours since we took the acid)
so decided I would go lay down and take a nap.
Yeah, right...
I wish I knew that acid lasted at least 12 hours and I would not be getting any sleep that night and
became quite frustrated with the inability to shut off the inflow of colors, sounds and thoughts.
Now I know what Mick Jagger meant in a song saying 'No more colors, I just want it to fade to
black' (something like that).
Here I was, laying in complete darkness and I'll be darned if I did not see what I later referred to
as black colors, meaning colors that are completely black while still having visible color.
What was irritating was that the colors were all on rectangle backgrounds and eventualy turned
into multicolored semiphore flags which immediatly transformed the bedroom where I was
TRYING TO SLEEP into an airport, with me being an airplane and some invisible guy guiding me
in to dock for unloading passengers (Litteral Trip #2).
My girlfriend decided she would go for a walk without telling me and I was completely unaware
that she had left the apartment.
I heard a quick yell of 'Oh Shit' outside my bedroom window then the slam of my apartment door.
She ran into the room where I was laying, turned on the lights which was like turning on the entire
universe again and said with a big scared but goofy grin 'Shit.... don't go out there, it's scary!!!'.
I replied 'No shit, I knew that the first time out there when we chased after Mike'.
She panted a little since whatever she was scared of she ran from quickly straight into the
appartment, then went into the kitchen.
She came back into the bedroom (which I turned off the light again in) and then turned back on
the lights.
I jumped up, wondering if the lights were real or hallucinated then noticed that my universe had
visualy turned to complete black and white like an old movie.
My girlfriend had Oreo cookies smashed all over her face with her saliva making it stick, I looked
at her and said 'I know we are on acid but eating your own shit is going too far!!!'
She laughed then told me it was Oreo cookies and I should try eating them on acid since it gave
'cool effects'.
I said 'I don't want that shit in my mouth' half way convinced that she really had eaten her own
shit and was now trying to get me to eat it.
She pulled a hand from behind her back which contained a whopping amount of Oreo cookies and
proceeded to cram them all in my mouth at once.
I was fighting her off , trying to yell through a mouth full of Oreo's and was on the verge of crying
since I though she had stuffed her own shit in my mouth.
I put all my might into tasting the Oreo cookies since I was afraid that my mouth was full of shit
and came to the reality that, on acid, Oreo cookies taste like shit but are truly not shit but...
cookies.
So I TRIED to 'dig' the cookies but came to the conclusion that Oreo's on acid tasted and felt like
greasy dirt which was hard to breath through so ran into the kitchen (my God I felt like I must have
travelled like light speed) drank a gulp of orange juice left in a cup that Mike drank from while on
his bad trip earlier and got back in bed as fast as I had gone to the kitchen.
After laying down for awhile with the wonderful taste of orange juice in my mouth and getting into
the accoustic ceiling (the pastel multicolored dots were still having their show) and a reflection of
the accoustic ceiling from looking into a vanity mirror (which made all of the ceiling a
nonsummetrical, pastel dotted maroon color) my girlfriend and I got into conversations of why we
do the things we do, what life is all about etc. with both of us stumbling on the reality that I am a
natural comedian and am my happyest when I can help others laugh.
Of course, during the conversation there were hallucinations of all types including a few more
waves of nonsensical deviations, states of drunkenness and other distractions but for once out of
the years my girlfriend and I were together we were finnaly being close, laughing, loving, sharing
and finnaly not at war with each other but were of one mind, constantly thinking the same things to
the point of beleiving that yes... there is such a thing as E.S.P. and thought transfer and that we
are not so bad to each other after all.
We lit up cigarettes, which appeared as 2 foot long magic wands with halos on their ends, talked
all the way untill the sun came up.
When the sun came up we went for a drive around the block (just to get out of the cramped
appartment since we were feeling like a couple of cooped up animals) and knew what the
meaning of 'Day tripping was all about'.
It was Saturday morning near Downtown Dallas and we felt like a couple of removed onlookers,
looking at the world like a couple of gods from 'the outside'.
People reminded both of us as ants.
Not ants to be squashed or disrespected but ants in the way that people didn't take on their
intimidating looks that they brough up feelings of when we were straight but that people, like ants,
have their own little lives, scrurrying along day to day, completely oblivious that there is something
more to life than 'doing'.
I made a promise to myself that from now on I would respect 'doing' but not do so much as to not
'being'.
The above is probably confusing so I'll simplify it.
If one spends their entire life 'doing', how will one be able to take time out to see the glory of the
world around them ('to be').
We ignore color, sounds, feelings and mental states to the point that we become blind to beauty
around us.
As for me, it's almost been 10 years since my first trip and have done acid tens of times since.
No drug experience in my life will ever come even a hundredth as close as that first trip and I hold
it dear.
I still mourn over the loss of the world that I woke up in under the influence of LSD from my first
trip and no drug, setting or experience will ever match up though I have tried to only face
dissapointment and depression, though many times I was not trying to match the 
first trip and was extremely happy!
So, now I'm 30 years old, have a girlfriend I love very much, a very good 
career as a Net/SysAdmin, am a private computer consultant and havn't tripped 
or even drank a drop of alchohol in over 6 years though at times I wouldn't 
mind another trip or 100 &ltgrin&gt.


-- rec.drugs.psychedelic