2248 lines
61 KiB
Plaintext
2248 lines
61 KiB
Plaintext
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ÚÄ Ü Ü Ü Ü Ä¿
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Ûßß ÛßÛ ß Û Û Ûßß ÜÜÛ ß ÛÛÜ Û Ü
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ßßÛ ÛÜÛ Û Û Û Ûß Û Û Û Û Þ ÛÜß
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ÛÛÛ Û ÛÛÛ ÛÛÛ ÛÛÛ ÛÛÛ ÛÛÛ ÛÛÛ Û Þ ÛßÛ
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ÀÄ ÄÙ
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Ä electronic literary 'zine Ä
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*ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ*
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ù ÄÄ´ volume one ÃÄÄ ù
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*ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ*
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stop plagiarism - let out your soul
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Copyright 1994
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ú úùcompiled & edited by Twilightùú ú
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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þ Table of Contents þ
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ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúù
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1. A New Day's Frost - Blue Powder
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2. Challenge Me. - Zidjian
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3. Control - Falling Leaves
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4. Cheating - Twilight
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5. Dancing Blood - Angel Alice
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6. Dateline PMS (Predictions, Mistakes, and Stupidity) - Black Sabbath
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7. Dead Leaves - Sin
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8. I Don't Believe - Twilight
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9. I Remember You - Twilight
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10. I'll Be A Friend To You - Angst
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11. It Is Finished - Sin
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12. Jack. - Twilight
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13. Lies, All Lies - Twilight
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14. Love Goes Boom - Homer the Brave
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15. Lust - G. Mahan, aka Kinky Kiss
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16. Mass Production - Silent Scream
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17. Metamorphosis - J.D.
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18. Midnight Sky - Happy Phantom
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19. More - Paladin Lord
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20. Pool - C. Eric
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21. Propagation Of Error - ac869@freenet.HSC.Colorado.EDU / zme
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22. Sanguine - Marcella G., aka Lolly-Pop/Kleeo
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23. Siren - Sin
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24. Suicide Blonde - Angel Alice
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25. Suicide Is Painless - Mike Altman and Johnny Mandel
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26. The Dead God - Joshua Smith, aka The Dead God
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27. 'Til Death Do Us Part - SunStryke
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28. To Be Or Not To Be - Twilight
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29. Two, Not One - Twilight
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30. Untitled - Angst
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31. Untitled - Armand
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32. Untitled - Blackstar
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33. Untitled - Blue Powder
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34. Untitled - Capt. Spastic
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35. Untitled - Homer the Brave
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36. Untitled - Jello Biafra
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37. Untitled - Leah
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38. Untitled - Leah
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39. Untitled - Matthew and Gunnar Nelson
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40. Untitled - Shadou
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41. Untitled - Silent Scream
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42. Vampyre - Shadou
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þ Including Quotes From:
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The Bible, Christopher Buckley, Kurt Cobain, Congreve, Jo Coudert, Flier,
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Henry Ford, "Jack Handey", John Lennon, Courtney Love,
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Stephen Lush (aka Fusion), Michel Monnot, Charles Ruffing, Shadou, and
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Twilight
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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A New Day's Frost
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þ Blue Powder
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ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúù
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There is a lone voice
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that fills the air
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and echoes in despair
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And to the moon
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it cries at night
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on its endless flight
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Seeking an answer
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Finding a way
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On to another day
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There is a fading light
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that has no eyes
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to seek out the lies
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It flickers out
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and it grows dark
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as I wear the mark
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Seeking a truth
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Finding a way
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On to another day
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There are no thoughts
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and little emotion
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just the ocean
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of many feelings
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and nothing to feel
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while we heal
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Seeking a peace
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Finding a way
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On to another day
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"Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently." Ä Henry Ford
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Challenge Me.
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þ Zidjian
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ùúùúùúùúùúùúù
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- Challenge me.
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- That's all I want.
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- Just challenge me.
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> I challenge you.
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- Good, now you're dead.
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> What do you mean?
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- Look at yourself.
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- Are you there?
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- Are you sure?
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- Look again.
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- How can you be there
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if you're dead?
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> I'm not there.
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- Look at your hand.
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- What do you see?
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- Do you see a hand?
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- Or something else?
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> I'm not sure.
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> I don't want to challenge you.
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> I want to run.
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- Run?
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- Run where?
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- You're locked in a room
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with no walls.
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> Where's the door?
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- There is no door.
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> How do I get out?
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- You don't.
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> Why are you doing this?
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- You challenged me.
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> Stop the room.
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> I want to get off.
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- It's too late for that.
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> I'm sorry.
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> God, I'm sorry.
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- You're dead.
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- Challenge me.
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Control
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þ Falling Leaves
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ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùú
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Tell me what to do.
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That's what I need.
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If you don't, who will?
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I can't do anything on my own
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I need to be controlled.
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Control me.
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Make me your desire.
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That's what I need.
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Make my every thought be of uselessness.
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I am vulnerable
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I am in love.
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This sickening disease
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that helps you to control me.
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I am no longer myself.
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What do you want from me?
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I am not who I used to be.
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I am you.
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You control me.
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Control me.
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Let me die my horrible death.
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I will be your burden no more
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just let me die now
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so I can be as you wish when I die
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in your control.
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Let me be me
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because I don't want to be you any more.
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Cheating
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þ Twilight
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ùúùúùúùúùú
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Look at you.
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God, look at that smile...
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You're mixing me up
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Fuckin' messin' with my brain
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...and my heart.
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I'm in love, you fool!
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Don't mess with me
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My affection belongs elsewhere
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and I can't go on lending it -
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to you.
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Tellin' ya to leave me alone
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Go way, I can't look at you
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But...I want to.
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I need to...
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You turn me on.
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You send me for rides
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on the emotional roller coaster
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Travelin' from place to place
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Doomed to repeat past mistakes
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What should I do?
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Should I give you a chance
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Don't want to never know your love
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But will it be both ways?
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Cuz...I have it already...
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I have love -
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Right *here*.
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Don't want to regret
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giving up a good thing...
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for nothing.
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Is it really that good, though...
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Should I move on -
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and fall into your arms...
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that enticing embrace...
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Damn you.
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Damn you and the confusion you bring.
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Can't choose...one or the other
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But...lust is safe
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Lust doesn't hurt
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As long as it doesn't turn to love.
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Dancing Blood
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þ Angel Alice
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ùúùúùúùúùúùúù
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Music blasting through my brain,
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Pounding on my body,
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I surrender and let it seduce me,
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Like a gypsy's swirling skirt and golden earrings.
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Wild hair is lifted by the fingers of the wind.
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Barefoot on the grass, I dance.
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Fast and hard, like the rhythm of two pulsing bodies.
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Mine, and the music.
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Passionate virgin lovemaking.
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The night sings in rage and fury.
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The moon shines lucidly.
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The scent of jasmine intoxicates my body,
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The scent of passion intoxicates my soul.
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The ground tears my feet, the blood flows freely.
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My blood, my dancing blood, spills to the earth,
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Where it is swallowed.
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Faster the music beats me,
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Around and around.
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Faster the steps,
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Faster the blood flows,
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Faster the wind blows,
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Faster the world spins,
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Harder.
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Faster.
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I am flying.
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Dateline PMS (Predictions, Mistakes, and Stupidity)
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Guaranteed 95.8% Inside Joke Free!
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þ Black Sabbath
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ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúù
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???? 1992 - Little old lady commercials go out of style
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Dec. 1993 - Santa Claus seen with venison in freezer, convicted of first
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degree murder
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Jan. 1994 - Jack Frost robs a liquor store, sez he was framed
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Feb. 1994 - Cupid shoots arrow through passerby's heart, beaten to death by
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L.A. cops
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Mar. 1994 - Local teacher, Mr. Brecht, finally petitioned out of job, ends up
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fighting as a Latino mercenary and eventually escapes into
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African jungle to teach apes math
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Apr. 1994 - Industrial Tech. glue turns bloody, teacher referred to nurse
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May 1994 - Andrew Keller makes Anarchial history, but couldn't attend Nobel
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Chemistry Prize Awards because one part of him left over after the
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explosion felt camera-shy
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Jun. 1994 - Howl-Net goes up, takes over world supercomputers, and eventually
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begins World War Three, which results in nuclear holocaust; when
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SysOp asked about incident, quoted as saying "Oops, wrong button."
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Jul. 1994 - Clarence Thomas finds in his Cheerios what was connected to that
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hair
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Aug. 1994 - Atari makes a comeback with Andre Agassi Pong
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Sep. 1994 - Menthos debuts their new catch phrase, "The Freshmaker!"
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Nov. 1994 - Huh?
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Dec. 1994 - Santa Claus on death row, Homey Claus takes over, everyone gets
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socks in their stockings
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Jan. 1995 - Jesus' image shows up on Mikhail Gorbachev's forehead
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Feb. 1995 - Webster's speling go intoo efekt, stoopid peepole beecum smaart
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(For those of you ignorants who don't know, Noah Webster suggested
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making words spelled like they sounded...almost got his idea put
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in effect!)
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Mar. 1995 - Quail rekognissed as politikal jeenious hoo kan reelee spel
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potatoe
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Apr. 1995 - Disknee, ahem, Disney releases their knew, I mean new documentary,
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Mr. Ed : Just Another Talking Horse or Hero To Millions?
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May 1995 - Did you ever have that not so fresh feeling?
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Jun. 1995 - WHAT?!?
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Jul. 1995 - (Overheard at nursing home) Gran'son, lissen, deed you know about,
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eh, the new things, you know, to, uh, protect yourself? The...
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(cough)...condoms?
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Aug. 1995 - Yeah, Gramps, I use those. Of course I know about them.
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Sep. 1995 - Eh!? Well........could you get me some?
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Nov. 1995 - Enough with the bad jokes! You're wasting precious lines
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Dec. 1995 - Santa released from state pen, abuses Rudolph, and is sent up the
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river for good this time
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Jan. 1996 - Dan Quayle seen drunk coming on to several women in singles bar,
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is grounded by his parents
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Feb. 1996 - (Dan Quayle) But MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
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Mar. 1996 - (Mom Quayle) No buts. It's already bad enough you can't spell
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potatoe! Why, just yesterday I found you ordering lingerie
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with J. Edgar Hoover! You're grounded and that's final!
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Apr. 1996 - (Dan Quayle) But MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
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May 1996 - Playboy Bunny anounces his candidacy for president of US
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Jun. 1996 - Beached whale at Palm Springs turns out to be just a bloated dead
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human body left out in sun too long
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Jul. 1996 - Godzilla spotted in Las Vegas casino playing blackjack with
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Elvis and the Tooth Fairy
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Aug. 1996 - Kids in K.I.S.D. sent back to school, principals all over
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district mysteriously disappear
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Sep. 1996 - Kids in H.I.S.D. go back to school, principals all over district
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reportedly kidnapped by K.I.S.D. kids when H.I.S.D.
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superintendent stated in press conferences, "Those stupid K.I.S.D.
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kids and their schools built on rice fields, they had to go back
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to school a MONTH EARLIER!!! HA HA HA HA!!!
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Oct. 1996 - Freddy returns and attcks kids who are now grandparents in Elm
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Street Nursing Home, but is overcome by arthritis and finally
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decides to settle down
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Nov. 1996 - Ballot casting time and Dan Quayle wins
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Dec. 1996 - No wait, Dan Quayle WHINES. Sorry. Real winner is Ed MacMahon
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Jan. 1997 - Ed sez during ceremonial inaugration, "Okay! My term is going
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to address a serious issue, which is OVERDUE LIBRARY BOOKS!
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Any punks with any overdue library books must face the
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consequences! NO OVERDUE LIBRARY BOOKS IN '97!!!"
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Feb. 1997 - Bystander releases footage of Cupid getting beaten by L.A. cops,
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cops pardoned on every charge
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Mar. 1997 - In outrage, all workers at Hallmark's Valentine Day Commitee stage
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a humongous riot, smashing store windows and tearing up hearts
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and little Easter Bunny pictures
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Apr. 1997 - Cops quickly found guilty and electrocuted, Cupid is awarded new
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bowstrings and some decent clothes
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May 1997 - Spring rains raise worldwide ocean levels, ecologists all over
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world baffled
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Jun. 1997 - (OVERHEARD AT SAVE THE EARTH RALLY) DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TO HELL!
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I'M GOING TO SPRAY GALLONS OF FREON INTO THE ATMOSPHERE!!!
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
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Jul. 1997 - Nerds return to Muscle Beach, pounded into sand by Bloodthirsty,
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the new Me Phi Me fraternity member
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Aug. 1997 - Kendall Branch FINALLY gets a new book, "The 1954 Sears Roebuck
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And Company Catalogue"
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Sep. 1997 - Mick Jagger, now 112, releases new album, "The Prune Juice Has
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Gone Bad"
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Oct. 1997 - George Burns, now 2,671 years old, stars in, "Casablanca, a Remake
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for Old Geezers"
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Nov. 1997 - Ed MacMahon impeached when found trying to cash $15 million
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dollar check made out to winner of Publisher's Clearing House
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Sweepstakes; his veep, Johnny Carson, takes over
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Dec. 1997 - I-N-X-S releases their new album, "Jingle Bell Latin American
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Contemporary Rock for People Living Alternate Lifestyles"
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Jan. 1998 - Arkansas refuses to stop dropping big rocks on their death row
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inmates
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Feb. 1998 - Robin Leech lets loose his comeback show, "The Not So Rich And
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Famous Life Anymore Of Donald Trump"
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Mar. 1998 - A man goes to his doctor. His doctor sez, "You're too fat, lose
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some weight!"
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Apr. 1998 - The man replies, "I'd like a second opinion."
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May 1998 - And so the doctor sez back, "Okay, yer ugly too."
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Jun. 1998 - Ugh. That was pretty bad. Goes to show what I'd do for Howl.
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Jul. 1998 - Whuuuuut?
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Aug. 1998 - I Dunnno.
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Sep. 1998 - Focus! Focus!
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Oct. 1998 - What?!? Be ON SUBJECT!?! Black Sabbath does not do "on subject."
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Nov. 1998 - Charles Manson released from death row, announces his candidacy
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as a Republican
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Dec. 1998 - Electoral College votes...
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Jan. 1999 - ...and votes...and votes...and votes...
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Feb. 1999 - Electoral College found in hibernation, government decides to flip
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coin instead
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Mar. 1999 - Heads Manson, Tails Dahmer
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Apr. 1999 - Manson wins, sacrifices his running mate to the Nazi sign on his
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forehead
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May 1999 - Manson announces everyone has to join his "family", is impeached
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and sent to Uganda in exile
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Jun. 1999 - Arnold Schwarzenneger sent to prison when they find big pink
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steriod pills in his Wheaties one morning
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Jul. 1999 - He sez, "I Wuz FRRAAAAAAMED! Ya! I thought zeh were
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Marshmallows! Haaalp me!"
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Aug. 1999 - Nils Benson makes great discovery; finally finds the ON button
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on his 3,000 button Hewlett Packard Calculator with 2 megs Ram
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and pocket printer
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Sep. 1999 - King's Quest MLCXXXVIII released: "Arthur Goes Out To Pasture"
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Oct. 1999 - The Great Pumpkin of Peanuts Fame is seen in backwoods Arkansas,
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but is killed by some rednecks and turned into "Mah's
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deeeeeeeeeeeeeelicious pun'kin pah"
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Nov. 1999 - India changes its sacred animal from cow to turkey, begins
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massive war with America, called the Great Stuffed Turkey With
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Gravy Dressing War
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Dec. 1999 - Santa Claus joins crime ring, many families wake up Christmas
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morning to find their electronics gone
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Jan. 2000 - YAY! The anticipated new century! We come into the future with
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Japan the only world superpower, a depression, severe pollution,
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a bajillion dollar deficit (a zitillion in pesos), and a 92%
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ignorant population. Also, in the last centure, we have
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discovered in total: disco, rap, nuclear waste, and bottled
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water. Yay. Sigh.
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"I told my friend today, (after she nearly killed us in her car), she wasn't
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that great of a driver.
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`I'm creative,' she replied." Ä Shadou
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dead leaves
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þ Sin
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ùúùúùúùúùúù
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scarred by heaven's fire
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brushed by scarlet lips of love
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filagreed whorls
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of yellowed swirling lace
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and blushing hues
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of golden summer nights...
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o n e by o n e t h e y f a l l.
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in the cold wind of a coming winter
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sheathed in brittle ice
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rooted in unyielding stone
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I stand in their midst,
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my glory gone
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my colors turned to grey
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an empty-fingered tree
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in the autumn of my life
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s t a r i n g
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at these memories of you.
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I don't believe.
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þ Twilight
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ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùú
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You say you love me
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But I'm just a silent wave
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A grain of salt
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In a sea of seas
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You say you need me
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But I'm just as useful
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As a meaningless thought
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A forgotten dream
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You say you want me
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But I'm desired as much
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As a soul in bliss
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Wants to be freed
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You say you love me
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You say you need me
|
|
You say you want me
|
|
Why don't I believe?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I Remember You
|
|
þ Twilight
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùú
|
|
|
|
Where have you gone...
|
|
What has happened to you...
|
|
Black and white against a page
|
|
From four years ago...
|
|
Lying here, staring, thinking,
|
|
So suddenly, I remember you...
|
|
And I remember seeing you again
|
|
And that you must be in here -
|
|
In this book of pictures.
|
|
Flipping feverishly through the pages,
|
|
My finger running down the names;
|
|
The printed text...
|
|
Looking for the R's - and yes,
|
|
You are here.
|
|
A little older than how I first remembered you,
|
|
But still, it is you.
|
|
As I stare into the unknowing eyes
|
|
Made of numerous pixels,
|
|
My mind races back -
|
|
Back to my innocence, my youth.
|
|
Caught in a whirlwind...
|
|
Me in a ponytail, bobby socks,
|
|
You, on your bike -
|
|
And oh yes, soon after - the talks we shared,
|
|
The "Love you!" before the click...
|
|
Before I could reciprocate.
|
|
The things we saw,
|
|
So fuzzy in my memory,
|
|
But I remember you...
|
|
Hell, yeah - you and your army jacket,
|
|
The grass, the games, the -
|
|
"I want to know *everything* about her!"
|
|
Excuse me; I must blush...
|
|
Looking fondly back on the memories
|
|
Just as I look fondly upon you now...
|
|
Missing the carefree happiness,
|
|
The excitement of two young spirits
|
|
Sharing their youths together
|
|
In new-found electricity.
|
|
Sigh...then I heard you became a father,
|
|
And I recognized you, watched you,
|
|
But you were too caught up in your new life...
|
|
Only saw past me.
|
|
Yet, I was different;
|
|
I had changed.
|
|
You did not give me the chance to say hello
|
|
Before you left once more...
|
|
Did you move...? Drop out...? Get married...?
|
|
What happened to you...
|
|
And most of all -
|
|
Do you remember me...
|
|
Do you know I am here -
|
|
Writing about you...
|
|
Thinking about you...
|
|
Even short-lived, what wonderful times we shared...
|
|
Together.
|
|
I was merely a pebble in your ocean,
|
|
But alas, you will never know
|
|
How you were a milestone in mine...
|
|
"Let me be the one who loves you -
|
|
'Til the end of time..."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"If you think lips are cool, wait 'til you wake up one morning next to your
|
|
love, her naked back facing you, a window behind, silhouetting the curve of
|
|
her body as she sleeps peacefully. You snuggle up close and put your arm
|
|
around her, holding her tight as if the world were about to end..." Ä Shadou
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I'll Be a Friend to You
|
|
þ Angst
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúù
|
|
|
|
Not to hurt you
|
|
Not to desert you
|
|
Not to turn you out the door.
|
|
Not to own you
|
|
Not to disown you
|
|
I just want to love you more.
|
|
There's so many ways i need
|
|
to learn to love you.
|
|
There's so much I want to do
|
|
There's so many ways I need
|
|
to show you that I
|
|
will be a friend to you.
|
|
Not to tame you
|
|
Not to defame you
|
|
Not to even up the score.
|
|
Not to make you
|
|
Not to forsake you
|
|
I just want to love you more.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
it is finished
|
|
þ Sin
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùú
|
|
|
|
what kind of parable is this
|
|
My love betrayed by a Judas Kiss
|
|
what kind of holy cross is this
|
|
crucified for my kindliness
|
|
|
|
what kind of church is this
|
|
where the radio sings and the TV talks
|
|
what kind of crutch is this
|
|
in a crippled land where evil walks
|
|
|
|
what foolish faith is this
|
|
this misplaced trust in innocents
|
|
what twisted joy is this
|
|
this self-inflicted penitence
|
|
|
|
what saving grace is this
|
|
to save one life while another dies
|
|
what hidden truth is this
|
|
dead and buried in myths and lies
|
|
|
|
what is the point of this
|
|
why do I hang for this
|
|
I want an end to this...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Imagine there's no heaven - it's easy if you try... No hell below us; above
|
|
us only sky." Ä John Lennon
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Jack.
|
|
þ Twilight
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùú
|
|
|
|
Afraid...
|
|
Fearing that Jack is awaiting me,
|
|
Ready to pounce
|
|
from underneath the red and plastic lid
|
|
Scratching his way out -
|
|
Let me out! Let me out!
|
|
But the nice painted box tries to play the fool.
|
|
|
|
I listen to the haunting melody,
|
|
Fearing each new note as it tinkers out
|
|
into the stillness of the ominous air.
|
|
Thick and suffocating.
|
|
yet...enchanting...
|
|
Holding my breath
|
|
As each slight turn of the handle
|
|
Does not yet bring the beast to my throat.
|
|
|
|
But, as the song progresses,
|
|
That one note will indeed come -
|
|
It is unavoidable.
|
|
But still, I hope.
|
|
I hope that...perhaps...
|
|
This box is broken -
|
|
That maybe *this* time, it'll be different.
|
|
The real self will not emerge...
|
|
Yes, I'm fooling myself,
|
|
But yet, I turn the key...
|
|
and POP!...
|
|
|
|
Unsuspecting, but in my darkest recesses,
|
|
I really did know.
|
|
But still, I run back for more
|
|
And so now, Jack strangles me -
|
|
Clawing at my chest, clenching at my heart
|
|
Yes, the wounds do heal with time
|
|
And the weasel will retreat back into his burrow...
|
|
But I, the hoping fool -
|
|
Will pick up the box, turn the handle
|
|
and listen to the frightening tune...
|
|
Again.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Love is the ecstacy of heaven wrapped in the torment of hell." Ä Twilight
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lies, All Lies
|
|
þ Twilight
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùú
|
|
|
|
When you were there for me and held me close
|
|
I thought you loved me
|
|
When you laughed heartily at my jokes
|
|
I thought you loved me
|
|
When you whispered sweet nothings into my ear
|
|
I thought you loved me
|
|
When you said that of course, you cared
|
|
I thought you loved me.
|
|
|
|
When you opened up and poured out your soul
|
|
I thought you loved me
|
|
When you picked up the guitar and played me a song
|
|
I thought you loved me
|
|
When you cried, "Don't you go leaving me"
|
|
I thought you loved me
|
|
When you said that you could not make it alone
|
|
I thought you loved me.
|
|
|
|
But now I know the truth -
|
|
All the lies, promises in vain
|
|
All the heartache, and all the games...
|
|
The sweet smile of satisfaction on your lips
|
|
As you cause me pain.
|
|
I thought you loved me
|
|
And I was wrong.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Love Goes Boom
|
|
þ Homer the Brave
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúù
|
|
|
|
[After dialing, he sat patiently, waiting for her to answer the phone].
|
|
|
|
Hi. Judy. It's me.
|
|
|
|
Yeah. [laughs] It HAS been a while!
|
|
|
|
Oh, I'm doing OK. I've been real flaky for the past few days. In fact,
|
|
that's why I called... I think I'm in love!
|
|
|
|
No, nothing like that! [laughs] She's amazing! I just can't stop
|
|
thinking about her. She's constantly on my mind. Uh, can I get your
|
|
opinion on something, you know, from a woman's point of view?
|
|
|
|
Well, we met on Wednesday. Yeah, just a few days ago. Anyway, I'll never
|
|
forget how we met. I was just driving along and there she was! I looked
|
|
up from the tape deck and I saw her amazing body fly over the hood of
|
|
the car. And then I saw her pretty face hit the windshield. I knew
|
|
instantly that I was in love.
|
|
|
|
Yeah, you'd think that, but I really think she loves me, too. I just
|
|
wish her jaw weren't wired shut, so that she'd be able to tell me. As it
|
|
is, she can only grunt. I visited her in the hospital and took her
|
|
flowers and told her how much I love her. She was overcome. She has this
|
|
laptop computer that she uses to communicate. She tried to type back to
|
|
me, but she was so moved that she couldn't type right. She threw the
|
|
computer at the wall in desperation, and it almost hit me!
|
|
|
|
Well, her family was there, and I think they're jealous of our love.
|
|
They had me kicked out of the hospital. I don't like to think this about
|
|
her family, but I think it's some kind of insurance rip-off. Some kind of
|
|
scam they're pulling. I mean, why else would they keep two lovers apart?
|
|
|
|
Yeah, well, I still think she's the most amazing thing to happen to my
|
|
life.
|
|
|
|
Oh? You met a man?
|
|
|
|
He fell at your feet?
|
|
|
|
From the thirteenth floor?
|
|
|
|
Wow. That's true love.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"It makes no difference what kind of humor you indulge in, whether you revel
|
|
in the coarsest puns or dwell on nihilistic black humor. As long as you
|
|
engage in this type of activity you keep your mind working, sharp, nimble.
|
|
The exercise irrigates your cortical cells with happy thoughts. It is a
|
|
prevention against depression, a truly therapeutic agent of positive
|
|
self-healing." Ä Michel Monnot
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lust
|
|
þ G. Mahan, aka Kinky Kiss
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùú
|
|
|
|
From across the room, I watch
|
|
As you bring your drink to your lips
|
|
You don't know me
|
|
But, God, I wish you did
|
|
|
|
I imagine how your skin feels
|
|
Soft, smooth, perfect
|
|
As you lick the moisture from your mouth
|
|
I feel my loins stiffen in response
|
|
|
|
My hands itch to caress your naked body
|
|
My mouth burns to be pressed upon yours
|
|
I can taste you on my tongue
|
|
I can smell your heat
|
|
|
|
Imagining your touch
|
|
Sends trails of fire across my flesh
|
|
I can almost feel your breath on my neck
|
|
As you moan your desire
|
|
|
|
I don't know you, but to have you
|
|
Beneath me, subjugated, mine
|
|
I would give you anything you desired
|
|
My heart, my life, my soul
|
|
|
|
Our bodies intertwined
|
|
Sweat running down my back
|
|
As I thrust into you
|
|
Grunting in animalistic passion
|
|
|
|
One night
|
|
One dream
|
|
One desire
|
|
You.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Sex is overrated; making love isn't." Ä Twilight
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mass Production
|
|
þ Silent Scream
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúù
|
|
|
|
we take the quality.
|
|
poems, not machines.
|
|
not on an assembly line.
|
|
not waiting for another...
|
|
...maybe i should be exercising my artistic talent.
|
|
maybe i should be famous.
|
|
look at this.
|
|
i promise i'll be modest.
|
|
i'll hook up the old brain
|
|
and i'll have them jetting outward.
|
|
poems, quality...
|
|
not things to be mass produced.
|
|
born by circumstance's state
|
|
birth or stillborn
|
|
stillborn idea
|
|
birth of "poem".
|
|
birth of idea
|
|
stillborn of interference
|
|
birth...
|
|
...not of text on a page
|
|
nor words on a screen
|
|
...borne of true spirit.
|
|
pure emotion, existing on two and four...
|
|
locked behind cold words
|
|
until the imagination warms them again.
|
|
locked behind words until
|
|
the mind opens their great doors
|
|
and is enlightened.
|
|
|
|
perhaps to the point of tears.
|
|
|
|
poems.
|
|
feelings.
|
|
you can not mass produce a feeling.
|
|
especially one you have not felt.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Life is poetry in motion." Ä Warrant
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Metamorphosis
|
|
þ J.D.
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúù
|
|
|
|
Past the memory of yesterday and
|
|
The uncertainty of tomorrow
|
|
I see life for the first time
|
|
From the other side of sorrow.
|
|
I leave behind the images
|
|
Of all forgotten faces
|
|
And lose the grief my heart has hidden
|
|
In secret, buried places
|
|
To give the stranger I call myself
|
|
The years I need to grow
|
|
And search my soul for answers
|
|
I've never come to know
|
|
Beneath the veil of illusion
|
|
That for years has dimmed my sight
|
|
I rise in arrogance to test
|
|
My wings in their new flight
|
|
And bid them carry me far
|
|
From the anguish of my past years
|
|
When I could not find myself
|
|
At the bottom of my tears
|
|
The mask that good intent would mold
|
|
I have flung aside and shattered
|
|
To strip my soul of trivial things
|
|
That never should have mattered
|
|
I have robbed cruelty of its power
|
|
Stripped memory of its pain, and
|
|
Returned from the other side of sorrow
|
|
To find myself again.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Nineties' man: a man who acts more like a woman is supposed to.
|
|
Nineties' woman: a woman who acts more like a man is supposed to."
|
|
Ä Twilight
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Midnight Sky
|
|
þ Happy Phantom
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúù
|
|
|
|
Under the stars of a midnight sky
|
|
I watched you play with that look in your eyes
|
|
You were so far away and so easy to touch
|
|
And as your fingers strummed the strings
|
|
I knew you had the touch
|
|
|
|
It drew me away to a far away place
|
|
It made my heart break. It made my pulse race
|
|
In that moment I felt so alive
|
|
And so real again
|
|
Inside I cried.
|
|
|
|
Your music brings me back
|
|
From a world of shattered dreams
|
|
Where my soul was trapped by memory
|
|
Where nothing was as it seems
|
|
|
|
Your music sets me free
|
|
And fills my heart with light
|
|
I could have stayed forever
|
|
Under that starlit night
|
|
|
|
Never stop playin'
|
|
Don't try to hide your soul
|
|
Its beauty showed me how to live
|
|
When I thought my life was gone
|
|
Like a single precious rose
|
|
In spring ends winter's sleep
|
|
You've gone too far. You can't stop now
|
|
Your music goes too deep.
|
|
|
|
Your music sets me free
|
|
And fills my heart with light
|
|
I would have stayed forever.
|
|
I could have stayed forever.
|
|
I wanted to stay forever
|
|
Under that starlit night.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Music has charms to soothe a savage beast, to soften rocks." Ä Congreve
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
More
|
|
þ Paladin Lord
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùú
|
|
|
|
There has been love (and more!)
|
|
That much I know...
|
|
This heart has been no barren place
|
|
It felt, it cried,
|
|
It has had blood to pour...
|
|
But now...
|
|
You ask of hate, of pain?
|
|
(And hope to hear of love...)
|
|
What heart can do that
|
|
When it beats no more?
|
|
Thre had been love,
|
|
That much I recall.
|
|
Perhaps I gave it all?
|
|
Perhaps there's more in store?
|
|
But though I try-
|
|
For you-
|
|
My heart can beat no more...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"The best fuck is an angry fuck." Ä Twilight
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
pool
|
|
þ C. Eric
|
|
ùúùúùúùúù
|
|
|
|
black stool
|
|
grey pool
|
|
naked man stares ahead
|
|
white concrete
|
|
below his feet
|
|
'is anyone else sad' he says
|
|
|
|
silence surrounds
|
|
brain thumping sounds
|
|
naked man sits on the stool
|
|
trendy girls
|
|
trendy boys
|
|
naked man falls into the pool
|
|
|
|
the water is grey
|
|
the water is clear
|
|
the water is keeping the naked man here
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Big Brother is watching."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
propagation of error
|
|
þ ac869@freenet.HSC.Colorado.EDU / zme
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùú
|
|
|
|
sandstone gargoyle
|
|
perched by a cathedral spire
|
|
winged three-toed monster
|
|
art medieval gothic
|
|
cracked during a catapult seige
|
|
|
|
restored improved by guildsmen
|
|
|
|
limestone gargoyle
|
|
hunkering by a cathedral's spire
|
|
winged four-toed monster
|
|
ravaged by acid rain
|
|
rebuilt meticulously
|
|
polished by men of craft not art
|
|
|
|
plastic gargoyle
|
|
hanging from a cathedral's spire
|
|
winged five-toed monster
|
|
copied by the craftiest of men
|
|
computer-enhanced mass produced
|
|
|
|
polyethylene gargoyles
|
|
with long white nylon hair
|
|
winged multi-toed monster
|
|
hanging by the rear-view mirror
|
|
|
|
of a totally rad edsel
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"The only history worth a tinker's damn is the history we make today."
|
|
(loosely reported as "History is bunk.") Ä Henry Ford
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sanguine
|
|
þ Marcella G., aka Lolly-Pop/Kleeo
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùú
|
|
|
|
Its hungry lips, burning a sanguine red, were starved for attention and
|
|
love.
|
|
Its crystal blue eyes, gleaming a steamy haze, prayed to the heavens
|
|
above.
|
|
The flames have engulfed her.
|
|
The gleam has taken her sight.
|
|
He was never compassionate enough to admit she was right.
|
|
Now is the time to pack up, and now is the time to move on.
|
|
But, he has no idea this rare creature is gone.
|
|
|
|
Its wavy auburn hair, framing a halo around its face, illuminated it to
|
|
an angelic degree.
|
|
Its smooth olive skin, emitting a wondrous lucidity, shimmered upon the
|
|
placid sea.
|
|
The frame has encaged her.
|
|
The ocean her grave.
|
|
He never reached out a hand -
|
|
her life he could have saved.
|
|
He should keep moving forward and understand the fact...
|
|
She will never forgive him...
|
|
And she is isn't coming back.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Siren
|
|
þ Sin
|
|
ùúùúù
|
|
|
|
Siren
|
|
i heard you singing in the rain
|
|
they said don't listen
|
|
but their warnings were in vain
|
|
Siren
|
|
i turned about
|
|
and sailed to hear your words again
|
|
|
|
Siren
|
|
how'd you ever learn to make
|
|
that sweet angelic sound
|
|
Siren
|
|
i never knew my brittle heart would break
|
|
when the storm drove me aground
|
|
|
|
Siren
|
|
i never learned how to swim
|
|
but i always thought i'd just know how
|
|
someday
|
|
i've got to make it thru these rocky shoals
|
|
but how...
|
|
and how come you seem
|
|
so distant and far away
|
|
and how...
|
|
how come there's this sinking feeling in my soul?
|
|
|
|
Siren
|
|
there's so much that i can see in you
|
|
there's so much that i believe in you
|
|
but Siren
|
|
how come everything about us drags me down
|
|
how come i feel so heavy in my heart
|
|
Siren
|
|
i don't want to drown
|
|
but Siren
|
|
how come we're drifting so far apart?
|
|
|
|
Siren
|
|
i'm lost in this surging sea of pain
|
|
Siren
|
|
never thought that we would end this way
|
|
Siren
|
|
i can't see
|
|
why can't i see you anymore
|
|
there's
|
|
oh, Siren
|
|
there's too much falling rain.
|
|
|
|
Siren
|
|
why do i feel so choked up and alone
|
|
Siren
|
|
there's just your voice now
|
|
leading me on and on
|
|
Siren
|
|
with my final breath
|
|
Siren
|
|
even unto death
|
|
Siren
|
|
i hear the water rushing thru my veins
|
|
oh, Siren
|
|
would you sing your song of love
|
|
just one last time for me again?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Suicide Blonde
|
|
þ Angel Alice
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùú
|
|
|
|
I knew you better than I thought I did.
|
|
Not your name, but your game.
|
|
I knew your race, I knew your face.
|
|
You're not just another statistic.
|
|
Not another accident...
|
|
Not another political incorrectness.
|
|
Suicide blonde, I knew you better than I thought.
|
|
I saw you every day, on the corner of fifth and main.
|
|
Smoking your cigarettes, drunk by sex.
|
|
I never talked to you, I never said a word.
|
|
I passed you by, and you looked away.
|
|
I knew you even then, but I didn't say a word.
|
|
I thought you were filth, but I was wrong.
|
|
Maybe you did wear too much lipstick,
|
|
And maybe you did smoke more than enough.
|
|
but now you're gone for good.
|
|
I miss you, even those leather boots with spiked heels,
|
|
And blue eyes with black lashes.
|
|
I wish you were alive, even if you were never quite sober;
|
|
Even if you always looked like you had just been crying.
|
|
Even with your bleached blonde hair.
|
|
Suicide blonde, you made a choice.
|
|
The wrong one, and now I have to live with it.
|
|
Because now, you see, I'm just like you.
|
|
Now I know you.
|
|
Not your name, but your game.
|
|
I'm trapped, like you were, with only one way out.
|
|
Now I'm a suicide blonde, too.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Suicide is Painless
|
|
þ Words: Mike Altman
|
|
þ Music: Johnny Mandel
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúù
|
|
|
|
Through early morning fog I see
|
|
Visions of the things to be
|
|
The pains that are withheld for me
|
|
I realize and I can see that
|
|
|
|
Suicide is painless
|
|
It brings on many changes
|
|
And I can take or leave it if I please.
|
|
|
|
I try to find a way to make
|
|
All our little joys relate
|
|
Without that ever-present hate
|
|
But now I know that it's too late, and
|
|
|
|
Suicide is painless
|
|
It brings on many changes
|
|
And I can take or leave it if I please.
|
|
|
|
The game of life is hard to play
|
|
I'm going to lose it anyway
|
|
The losing card I'll someday lay
|
|
And this is all I have to say, that
|
|
|
|
Suicide is painless
|
|
It brings on many changes
|
|
And I can take or leave it if I please.
|
|
|
|
The only way to win is cheat
|
|
And lay it down before I'm beat
|
|
And to another give a seat
|
|
For that's the only painless feat, 'cause
|
|
|
|
Suicide is painless
|
|
It brings on many changes
|
|
And I can take or leave it if I please.
|
|
|
|
The sword of time will pierce our skins
|
|
It doesn't hurt when it begins
|
|
But as it works its way on in
|
|
The pain grows stronger - watch it grin
|
|
|
|
Suicide is painless
|
|
It brings on many changes
|
|
And I can take or leave it if I please.
|
|
|
|
A brave man once requested me
|
|
To answer questions that are key
|
|
Is it to be or not to be?
|
|
And I replied, "Oh why ask me?", 'cause
|
|
|
|
Suicide is painless
|
|
It brings on many changes
|
|
And I can take or leave it if I please.
|
|
|
|
And you can do the same thing if you please.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"It's hard to say when one generation ends and the next begins - but it's
|
|
somewhere around 9 or 10 at night." Ä Charles Ruffing
|
|
|
|
( ...Generation X'ers?! (rolling eyes) )
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Dead God
|
|
þ Joshua Smith, aka The Dead God
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùú
|
|
|
|
Once his chapels gleamed with light
|
|
Once his churches crawled with life
|
|
Once He gave the starving bread
|
|
Once his hands could raise the dead
|
|
Once He spoke of what was right
|
|
Once He gave the darkness light
|
|
Once He drowned the fires of Hell
|
|
Once He stumbled ...and then He fell
|
|
|
|
Heaven is a ghosttown
|
|
And all the Gods are dead
|
|
Valhalla had diminished
|
|
When the last of our heroes fled
|
|
|
|
The Devil is out doing
|
|
All the things he knows he should
|
|
Civilization's dying
|
|
Things are looking pretty good
|
|
|
|
Now the world's decaying
|
|
And you know he won't come back
|
|
Yet I see that you're still praying
|
|
In his ornamental shack
|
|
|
|
Read his crumbling parchments
|
|
And do his dying will
|
|
But his deafened ears can't hear you pray,
|
|
His ice-cold hands can't feel
|
|
|
|
His books will do you no good now
|
|
The Light is all but gone
|
|
And I'd really like to help you
|
|
But I'll kill you later on
|
|
|
|
The Hope you think you're feeling
|
|
Is nothing but a dream
|
|
You'll find your situation's not
|
|
As bright as it may seem
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the
|
|
beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred three-
|
|
score and six." Ä REV 13:18
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
'Til Death Do Us Part
|
|
þ SunStryke
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúù
|
|
|
|
"...'Til Death do us part..."
|
|
We said together.
|
|
The words are spoken with conviction.
|
|
The words are spoken with delight...
|
|
If not choked by a few tears.
|
|
She is resolute.
|
|
But do I really mean what I have said?
|
|
Eternity?
|
|
Forever?
|
|
Can I keep my word?
|
|
There are so many things that can happen...
|
|
It's too hard to comprehend.
|
|
But I love her.
|
|
I truly love her.
|
|
Nothing can happen between us.
|
|
Nothing...
|
|
Nothing?
|
|
All the different what if's flood my mind.
|
|
What if she is untrue?
|
|
What if _I'm_ untrue?
|
|
What if.
|
|
I can't think about it.
|
|
I can't let myself doubt.
|
|
Doubt her.
|
|
Doubt myself.
|
|
We have been through think and thin
|
|
Together.
|
|
We will be happy
|
|
Together.
|
|
We will laugh
|
|
Together.
|
|
We will cry
|
|
Together.
|
|
And we will die
|
|
Together.
|
|
Die?!
|
|
I can't imagine it.
|
|
Can't imagine living as long as I will.
|
|
With her.
|
|
I love her.
|
|
I can live with her.
|
|
I will NOT doubt her of myself.
|
|
We are young.
|
|
Only twenty.
|
|
But how long will we live?
|
|
Sixty?
|
|
Seventy?
|
|
Eighty?!
|
|
I will have lived this life three times more
|
|
With her.
|
|
Yes.
|
|
With her.
|
|
I love her.
|
|
Life will be good
|
|
With her.
|
|
Love will be good
|
|
With her.
|
|
Death will be kind
|
|
With her.
|
|
I can see
|
|
A long life ahead.
|
|
I also see a joyous one.
|
|
One of love,
|
|
Care,
|
|
Passion,
|
|
Strife,
|
|
Good,
|
|
Bad,
|
|
Thick,
|
|
Thin,
|
|
And joy.
|
|
Yes.
|
|
I will love her.
|
|
I will be the best husband I can.
|
|
I will be
|
|
'Til Death do us part.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
To Be or Not to Be
|
|
þ Twilight
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùú
|
|
|
|
I have endured the stages -
|
|
From the frequent soliloquy of anguish
|
|
to the sparse acts of joyous jubilee.
|
|
The mental torment... (the cerebral onslaught)
|
|
Finally...slain before the break.
|
|
An awkward bow as the crowd applauses...
|
|
The curtain falls - uncertain.
|
|
|
|
The critics jeer and poke and scrutinize
|
|
Insecurity thickly rolls ashore
|
|
A huddled mass, naked and unarmed
|
|
Struggling, shielding, hiding...
|
|
from the stabs and shocks of pain.
|
|
I silently weep to unlistening ears
|
|
I cry, alone...to myself.
|
|
|
|
Rebirth! I have been reborn!
|
|
Never have I felt a warmer sun
|
|
As his glowing arms embrace me...
|
|
But only in my box of inclusion
|
|
do I exist in insulation -
|
|
For ahead of me he does not shine
|
|
The forward path remains...unlit.
|
|
|
|
Stumbling over rocks in the way,
|
|
Abrasions don't seem to heal well
|
|
I lie motionless as life escapes me -
|
|
A helpless hemophiliac...in constant misery.
|
|
'Sadness was always there, my friend -
|
|
One cannot fool himself
|
|
Nothing here is everlasting -
|
|
not love, not life, nor healing skin'...
|
|
|
|
The only light that aids me now -
|
|
is but a ray peeking through closed doors
|
|
into an estranged, dark cellar.
|
|
And as I sit wallowing in my mildew,
|
|
Oh, is it damp...and dank...
|
|
This phoenix has engulfed itself
|
|
in the same fiery womb of its birth
|
|
An inaudible shriek - a silent scream
|
|
as the flames die down,
|
|
and twilight soothingly coats the sky...
|
|
|
|
An empty soul...wandering aimlessly -
|
|
Unguided, perhaps misled.
|
|
Left to find my own way among the seashells
|
|
Sucking in my breath, holding in my cries
|
|
as I step on broken glass -
|
|
ungratefully left in careless apathy
|
|
I thought I'd never care -
|
|
I couldn't have been more wrong.
|
|
|
|
'We never quite appreciate
|
|
how much the other cares or tries'...
|
|
And as I sit and ponder, sidetracked
|
|
Alongside this lightless path
|
|
No longer in my own Thermos do I serve
|
|
as the shivers sneak into my rigid spine
|
|
So, now, I wonder what I'd welcome more
|
|
in this chaos of emotion and perception -
|
|
The heavenly chime of bells...
|
|
Or the solemn wail of the melancholy trumpet.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"All art, like all love, is rooted in heartache." Ä A. Stieglitz
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Two, Not One
|
|
þ Twilight
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùú
|
|
|
|
Ripped raw from the womb
|
|
I watched you being carried off
|
|
Cold, blue and unfeeling
|
|
Drained your life away
|
|
Two for the price of one.
|
|
|
|
Separated by hearts
|
|
Left bleeding and hurt
|
|
By your own choice
|
|
Never to return
|
|
Wouldn't let me say goodbye.
|
|
|
|
My screams were not heard
|
|
No flinch, no head turned my way
|
|
But you continued on in your red haze
|
|
Thinking only of your mission
|
|
And not and nothing of me.
|
|
|
|
Blinded in oblivion
|
|
Shoving all and everything out
|
|
Stubborn, uncaring, and unyielding
|
|
With this newly-found strength (...of cowardice)
|
|
Even punching me.
|
|
|
|
Escaping,... fleeing
|
|
Forgetting to take me along
|
|
You thought all the pain would end
|
|
But I'm the one who lives.
|
|
You have killed me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. The worst crime is faking
|
|
it." Ä Kurt Cobain
|
|
|
|
"No, the worst crime is leaving." Ä Courtney Love
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Untitled
|
|
þ Angst
|
|
ùúùúùúùú
|
|
|
|
love
|
|
hate
|
|
luck
|
|
fate.
|
|
courage
|
|
fear
|
|
smile
|
|
sneer.
|
|
black
|
|
white
|
|
talk
|
|
fight.
|
|
care
|
|
ignore
|
|
less
|
|
more.
|
|
yes
|
|
no
|
|
friend
|
|
foe.
|
|
land
|
|
sea
|
|
you
|
|
me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Untitled
|
|
þ Armand
|
|
ùúùúùúùú
|
|
|
|
In a bit, I will be comsumed with hatred.
|
|
As for now, I am in love.
|
|
Funny it may seem to you.
|
|
But that's what you've done.
|
|
|
|
Cool to warm to hot to cold.
|
|
That's how quick the emotions fly.
|
|
The reactions you provoke,
|
|
But you never see.
|
|
|
|
Because I have a happy mask.
|
|
I can hide behind it.
|
|
You'll never know.
|
|
No one ever knows.
|
|
|
|
It hides the hurt, the pain, and the love.
|
|
Picturesque in its simplicity,
|
|
It is almost too fake to believe.
|
|
Yet, real enough to deceive.
|
|
|
|
Nonchalance it what it shows.
|
|
Happiness is all you see.
|
|
The friend, the fiend, it will always be.
|
|
For they are one in the same.
|
|
|
|
You may only see the caring side.
|
|
But the other is there.
|
|
Awaiting its unveiling.
|
|
To lash out with all the pain.
|
|
|
|
But, do not dwell on the hurt.
|
|
A friend is what you are looking for.
|
|
A friend is what you will get.
|
|
On goes the mask once again.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"I've been averse to military fashions on civilians. Flight jackets ought to
|
|
be earned. Imagine standing in an elevator wearing one with a 388th Fighter
|
|
Wing insignia and the door opening and someone who'd actually BEEN with the
|
|
388th getting on." Ä Christopher Buckley
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Untitled
|
|
þ Blackstar
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúù
|
|
|
|
there was an old man from st. helens
|
|
afflicted with shrinkins and swellins
|
|
his dick was so small
|
|
it wasn't there at all
|
|
but his balls were like honeydew melons
|
|
|
|
|
|
( ...a little comic relief...(: )
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait. Not me, you."
|
|
Ä "Jack Handey," from "Deep Thoughts"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Untitled
|
|
þ Blue Powder
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúù
|
|
|
|
I wish you would run away with me
|
|
We would be forever free
|
|
Two hearts as one
|
|
Together following the sun
|
|
I could show the things
|
|
That are in your dreams
|
|
And you would never be alone
|
|
Just you and me
|
|
Following the sun
|
|
Never stopping
|
|
Never finding our way back
|
|
Just following the sun
|
|
A neverending dream
|
|
Like off a movie screen
|
|
We would have our piece of mind
|
|
And our dreams to find
|
|
Together following the sun
|
|
No time frame
|
|
Living by the moment
|
|
Together as one
|
|
One creation
|
|
And one flame
|
|
Together following the sun
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"To be human is to dream. Pipe dreams, daydreams of perfect love or a
|
|
brilliant career - we all pay rent on castles in the air. But sometimes
|
|
there's a dream that doesn't fade, an impossible dream that just might come
|
|
true with the right breaks and a lot of hard work. Those are the dreams we'd
|
|
be fools to give up on." Ä Jo Coudert
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Untitled
|
|
þ Capt. Spastic
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúù
|
|
|
|
When soft summer wind touched your cheek,
|
|
Please think of me.
|
|
When the water and the sand on the beach
|
|
Come up between your toes and you feel as
|
|
One with them,
|
|
Please think of me.
|
|
When on a moonlight night, the shadows fall
|
|
Over you like my lovings arms long too,
|
|
Please think of me.
|
|
When you feel the warmth inside you
|
|
That you always brought me,
|
|
Please think of me.
|
|
When you reach out and touch the stars,
|
|
and remember that you were my every dream,
|
|
Please think of me.
|
|
Even when you hear the callous words
|
|
Of a heartless time, know that I still
|
|
Loved you and...
|
|
Please think of me.
|
|
And if the final sleep were to ever
|
|
Take me from you,
|
|
Please DON'T think of me.
|
|
|
|
For I love you too much,
|
|
To ever want you to die with me.
|
|
|
|
But for a thousand eternites,
|
|
I'll always remember you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Each suicide affects at least six other people."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Untitled
|
|
þ Homer the Brave
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúù
|
|
|
|
Cement and rubble, smoke, barbed wire, pools of blood growing under limp,
|
|
dead, wounded human soldier bodies. Smell of burned flesh, of smoke, of
|
|
death, of drying blood, of... pollen.
|
|
|
|
A field of green grass, blue sky, a breeze that could hold a kite in the air.
|
|
A kid, a child, gently guiding that kite in the air. He's 7. He has
|
|
beautiful blond hair that the wind pushes into his eyes. It's fall. Pollen
|
|
count is up.
|
|
|
|
Mom and dad sneeze, wear coats. They notice how late it's getting, and call to
|
|
the young child, who resists. 'If you don't come now, we'll leave without
|
|
you,' they threaten. 'Very well. Go ahead.' is the reply.
|
|
|
|
A seven year-old girl is running across the war-torn street. She has long,
|
|
beautiful black hair and is wearing a flowered dress, which the smoky wind
|
|
flaps and wrinkles. She skips, she sings a little song to herself, soldiers'
|
|
wounds heal as she passes by, skipping, singing a little song to herself.
|
|
|
|
Through gunfire, an eight year-old boy in a blue sweater walks toward a man
|
|
with a rifle, walking slowly, deliberately, knowing he can't be seen. No
|
|
bullet touches him. He does not choke on tear gas. He lightly touches the
|
|
man's rifle, and it runs out of ammunition.
|
|
|
|
A field of green grass, red sunset sky, a breeze that could hold a kite in the
|
|
air. A breeze which grows stronger as night falls. The kite is pulled ever
|
|
higher by the mounting wind. The boy with beautiful blond hair runs out of
|
|
twine so he pretends, and that is enough. Higher goes the kite.
|
|
|
|
A red-headed boy, eight years old, hops up onto a pile of sandbags, merrily,
|
|
easily. He looks down at a scared and inexperienced young soldier who is
|
|
frozen in fear. He hops down into the foxhole, gently pulls the rifle barrel
|
|
out of the soldier's mouth, and skips away happily, into the fog.
|
|
|
|
A six year-old girl. The most beautiful the boy has ever pretended, with long
|
|
flowing hair and frosted features. A white gown which floats, which glides,
|
|
which shimmers. She floats through the sky, above the smoke and flak.
|
|
Movement above the battlefield, a shimmering movement. The moon is rising.
|
|
Fighting can stop for the night.
|
|
|
|
A field of green grass, indigo nighttime, no wind. A kite, high in the sky.
|
|
A boy, pretending.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Untitled
|
|
þ Jello Biafra
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùú
|
|
|
|
i set myself constant rain
|
|
up at a window and quiet thunder
|
|
watch the rain beating on my head
|
|
try to let it never to see the sun
|
|
wash away my pain
|
|
welcome to my hell
|
|
but it only brings back where it always rains...
|
|
the memories
|
|
memories
|
|
of a better day
|
|
|
|
it rained on the day
|
|
when you took it all away
|
|
the rain stopped in the sky
|
|
|
|
but i can still feel it
|
|
beating on my head
|
|
welcome to my world
|
|
where it always rains
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Untitled
|
|
þ Leah
|
|
ùúùúùúùú
|
|
|
|
I walk along this path
|
|
Into this clearing
|
|
These woods...
|
|
Of you and I
|
|
|
|
This place we shared
|
|
Alone...
|
|
This place of peace and solace
|
|
This place
|
|
Of you and I
|
|
|
|
This place we danced
|
|
Under the moonlight
|
|
That bathed us in its radiance
|
|
Where the sun chased us to shelter
|
|
And the night was ours, my darling...
|
|
The nights were ours
|
|
You and I
|
|
|
|
I remember this place
|
|
I look upon it now
|
|
In fond memory
|
|
Of you and I
|
|
|
|
This place...
|
|
This beautiful place
|
|
That is all I have left
|
|
Of you and I
|
|
|
|
This place where need and want and desire
|
|
were filled
|
|
And trivial problems were washed away
|
|
By the beautiful night
|
|
That belonged to only
|
|
You and I
|
|
|
|
Where we danced
|
|
And sang
|
|
And wept
|
|
To the glorious intertwining
|
|
Of you and I
|
|
|
|
Now you have left me
|
|
For something better perhaps
|
|
And I need to see you
|
|
I need to touch you
|
|
I need to be with you
|
|
One more time
|
|
...But all I have left is this
|
|
This place
|
|
This wonderful, beautiful night sky
|
|
Where I can let go once again
|
|
And be free once more
|
|
With you
|
|
Forever
|
|
In this place we shared
|
|
...Of you and I.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Untitled
|
|
þ Leah
|
|
ùúùúùúùú
|
|
|
|
"I have been to hell
|
|
And it is cold
|
|
Very cold..."
|
|
Maybe....<shrug>
|
|
But we create out own hell.......
|
|
|
|
And I wallow in mine
|
|
Mine is dark, and dank
|
|
And in it my heart is made of glass,
|
|
of ice,
|
|
of steel
|
|
And I sit alone waiting
|
|
Waiting for you to come
|
|
To wisk me from my stage
|
|
My hell
|
|
To melt my heart of glass,
|
|
of ice
|
|
of steel.
|
|
To take me again
|
|
To stand before me like an angel
|
|
Just like an angel you were
|
|
Standing taunt, outstretching your arms to me
|
|
Engulfing me, willingly, in your arms...
|
|
And you led me up....
|
|
up so high...
|
|
On your golden wings
|
|
That would fail and send us falling to the ground if I did not have
|
|
total faith in you
|
|
But I did....I always did...
|
|
And I still do
|
|
You brought me high beyond my dreams
|
|
Far past the beautiful clouds
|
|
Past the darkness and the cold unfeeling world that I had made
|
|
for myself
|
|
Beyond my hell we rose
|
|
Far behind we left it
|
|
|
|
But as we ascended upward,
|
|
I glanced down, feeling the pain as I stared down at that
|
|
gruesome thing
|
|
that I had become
|
|
|
|
And in my pain, you faltered
|
|
and we fell...
|
|
Oh so fast we fell
|
|
Until you whispered in my ear and my soul was uplifted again
|
|
and we rose once again...
|
|
With great speed we flew into that embracing light...
|
|
"I saw eternity last night
|
|
A great ring of pure and endless light"
|
|
Yes, that light englufed me in its arms
|
|
Making nothing matter but the light....your light
|
|
So that in my moment of pure joy I could not tell the difference
|
|
between
|
|
your arms and the light
|
|
I did not want to...
|
|
Did not need to
|
|
All I wanted was for you to hold me in that light....With that light...
|
|
And I was happier then ever before...
|
|
|
|
So now I sit waiting
|
|
In this room with no walls that locks me in it's cold, dark embrace
|
|
Longing for that light....
|
|
your light...
|
|
That you shared with me
|
|
That I will never forget
|
|
|
|
Please...hold me in that light forever........
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Life is so solitary... living in a sea of plastic dummies bobbing in the
|
|
surf." Ä Twilight
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Untitled
|
|
þ Matthew and Gunnar Nelson
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúù
|
|
|
|
The history of our vital and endangered earth is characterized by the music of
|
|
the times. Likewise, music is the cornerstone of all future life. Music is
|
|
not a product of the age in which we live, but the opposite; the age is a
|
|
product of its music - and it has been so throughout all time. Music is to
|
|
the soul what breath is to the body. It is the fundamental ingredient of
|
|
dreams, of inspirations, yes - of live evolving. Music has little to do with
|
|
logic; people don't listen to music just because they are logical. Music has
|
|
everything to do with live and living. Music is universally inspiring - a
|
|
common language that transcends all boundaries of culture or country, of race
|
|
or religion, of sex or station. So, it stands to reason that music will be
|
|
the primary force to guide us into a new consciousness - a new age. If the
|
|
coming years are to bring a safer world - a more prosperous lifestyle - a
|
|
restoration of all that we have destroyed - it will be orchestrated by a new
|
|
music. Therefore, since music forms the times in which we live...and music is
|
|
power...perhaps we should start channeling that power responsibly and
|
|
positively - to heal rather than harm - to bring a little joy and light into
|
|
the world one song to one person at a time...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Untitled
|
|
þ Shadou
|
|
ùúùúùúùú
|
|
|
|
Roses are red
|
|
violets are blue
|
|
so are bruises
|
|
blue black
|
|
battered and tattered
|
|
shattered and scattered
|
|
across the seas of
|
|
distress
|
|
like ashes
|
|
disperse depart
|
|
cease and desist
|
|
you lay there
|
|
withered and torn
|
|
your love crying forlorn
|
|
whining
|
|
helpless selfless soul
|
|
searching for salvation
|
|
|
|
your love for me
|
|
hidden behind bruises
|
|
bashed in
|
|
and cashed out
|
|
black blue blemishes
|
|
block the way
|
|
secrets remain secret
|
|
sublime subtle signs
|
|
of scars never healed
|
|
and stains on the memory
|
|
another bad quote
|
|
i wrote
|
|
one day
|
|
after reading your note
|
|
postmarked meteirie, LA
|
|
you seem forever further away
|
|
and minute by minute
|
|
as i read your lines
|
|
i feel false pains
|
|
sympathy echoing empathy
|
|
real pain
|
|
for you
|
|
the things he did
|
|
things i never knew
|
|
blue black
|
|
bruises
|
|
and all the flowers
|
|
in all the world
|
|
will never make
|
|
the hurting stop
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"You can't really know a person unless he tells you how he grew up."
|
|
Ä Stephen Lush, aka Fusion
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Untitled
|
|
þ Silent Scream
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúù
|
|
|
|
...when I see the girl I "liked"... A girl who
|
|
"liked" me in turn... after a long time of not seeing her...
|
|
It hits me... Maybe because I haven't seen her in such a long time
|
|
And it's been a long time since I
|
|
have talked to her... Just how truly beautiful she looks up there...
|
|
And all the memories start coming back...
|
|
Memories of her and of another... Memories of one intensified by
|
|
memories of the other...
|
|
and the damnable place.
|
|
But I see her with another guy...
|
|
I mean, it should have happened by now...
|
|
I curse myself for being such a coward when I had the chance...
|
|
The chance to say I cared...
|
|
The chance to say we had a lot in common...
|
|
The chance to say... simply... "I love you"
|
|
And I find my eyes watering rapidly
|
|
And have to walk away
|
|
To avoid being seen by one of my friends, whose presence she acknowledged;
|
|
His presence. His, with a smile and an ejaculation of, "Crusty!"
|
|
But not mine...
|
|
Perhaps that splitsecondglance
|
|
Was intended for me, to give my existence meaning
|
|
Because I've committed some crime...
|
|
It may be that she felt the same way I did
|
|
and, "Look at me now, look at where I am, it's all because of _you_."
|
|
And the memories come back in a flood of falling tears
|
|
good memories. Memories of us together. Of us talking. Of a
|
|
person approaching her, of her response:
|
|
"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME."
|
|
Of her smile
|
|
O, but even then she was beautiful.
|
|
<and you loved her>
|
|
<you did, you fool>
|
|
tears which I must dry, quickly, lest my friend see them...
|
|
But I hide not from my friend my melancholy mood...
|
|
Hoping he'll see what exactly is going on...
|
|
And the day is made more miserable... As the memories start again and try
|
|
to take control of me as I try to stop the tears from slowly escaping.
|
|
And when I am asked if I enjoyed myself
|
|
That day, I must lie
|
|
(and tell the truth at the same time, for I was content in my misery)
|
|
And say "yes" and that I'd like to go again...
|
|
Although the place itself is dedicated to
|
|
how was it
|
|
letting go of your cares?
|
|
I will go again.
|
|
I must bask in the horror of good memories turned bad...
|
|
And entertain ideas that it will someday be made right. Perhaps I will
|
|
receive a phone call... Yes, that would be nice
|
|
A phone call from her...
|
|
(I know what I would say! "Who is he?
|
|
i love you")
|
|
and more
|
|
But I know that can't be, for what reason does she have to be calling me
|
|
so I listen to depressing songs
|
|
Thinking of playing them to an audience, saying why these songs are so
|
|
important
|
|
to me
|
|
And explaining why, in the middle of performing this song, I broke down
|
|
And the tears began again
|
|
As the memories returned.
|
|
I think of going back there - maybe she will return... but why would she
|
|
Why should she
|
|
She has been there already.
|
|
So I will go there
|
|
Again.
|
|
I will return
|
|
In the glory of horrors, of a pitiful person's pitiful actions
|
|
As I muse
|
|
love lost, love never had, love never met
|
|
And how wonderful it could have truly been...
|
|
How wonderful it should have truly been...
|
|
How wonderful...
|
|
How wonderful...it may still be.
|
|
But with whom?
|
|
With her. With her...
|
|
There are brighter, more brightly shining stars in the sky
|
|
I saw them
|
|
I thought nothing of them... of she...
|
|
And discarded her before she was mine...
|
|
Before I was hers
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Love is a joke. Women are proof that God has a sick, twisted sense of
|
|
humor." Ä Flier
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Vampyre
|
|
þ Shadou
|
|
ùúùúùúùú
|
|
|
|
decrepid house, decaying if not defiant
|
|
falling fence, gardens growing over
|
|
clapboards clapping as the wind whips
|
|
the witching hour approaches
|
|
new moon out,
|
|
and only stars to light the sky
|
|
a million points of bright pierce the dark of night
|
|
like a voyeur you creep closer
|
|
and closer still over the window sill
|
|
and enter brilliance
|
|
the light of a thousand candles
|
|
pin pricks of luminescence illuminate the room
|
|
flames flare white, orange, fade to red
|
|
as fire wavers in the breeze
|
|
a bed in the corner
|
|
soft and warm, inviting
|
|
sinking your head into the pillow
|
|
sinking into sleep
|
|
sleeping off your day
|
|
dreaming of a woman
|
|
she comes in the night
|
|
you wake, but just barely
|
|
appearing angelic
|
|
flowing capes of white gauze transparent
|
|
and you see her perfect body beneath
|
|
soft and warm, inviting
|
|
her lips like red red wine
|
|
her smile generous
|
|
tangible, tantalizing
|
|
your body tingles as you reach out
|
|
for shelter in her arms
|
|
those burgundy lips part
|
|
as she gasps when you touch
|
|
electric pleasure of pleasures
|
|
she grazes your cheek with a touch of those lips
|
|
a nibble on your ear, and the sinks lower still
|
|
another kiss on your neck, a vampire kiss
|
|
and she feeds as you bleed
|
|
sucking your blood as you fall in love
|
|
like in a dream unreal
|
|
early morning you awake
|
|
groggy, alone
|
|
light from the sun seeps in
|
|
over the window sill and closer still
|
|
glorious golden light, you reach out to touch
|
|
and pain fills you with remembrances
|
|
of the love you shared, and the vampire kiss
|
|
you scream and bolt through the door, floorboards creak as you
|
|
run through the house, into room after room, and there it is...
|
|
the velvet lined black box, soft and warm, inviting
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
ßÜ
|
|
ÜßÜÝÜßÜ
|
|
ßÜÞÜß Ü Ü Üß
|
|
Ü ÜßÜ ÝÜßÜß ÜßÜßÜ
|
|
ßÜßÜ ÜßÜßÞÜß ÜßÜ Ü ßÜÜßÜß
|
|
ßÜßÜÜß Ü ßÜßÜÝÜßÜß ÜßÜ ßÜ ßÜ ß
|
|
ßÜßÜß Üß Ü Ü ßÜÝÜß Üß ÜßÜ ßÜÜßÜßÜ
|
|
Üßßß Üß Û Ü ÜßßÜÞ ÜßÜß Ü ßÜßÜÜ ßÜß
|
|
Üß ßÜÜß Üß Ü ßßÜßÝßÜß ÜÜ ßÜßßÜ ß
|
|
Üß ÜßßÜÜß ÜßßÜ ßÝß ÜßÜ ßÜßßÜ ß
|
|
Üß ÜßßßÝÜß ÜÜßÜÞÜßÜß ÛÞßßÜ ß
|
|
ß ÜÜßÜßÜß ÜßÜÞÜß ÜßÜÝßÜÜß
|
|
Ü Üßßßß ßÜßÝÜßÜÜßÜß Ü Ü
|
|
Ü Ü ßÜ ßÜ ßÜßßßÜÜßÝÜÛßÜßÜÜß Üß Üß Üß
|
|
Ü ßÜßÜ ßÜÜßÜßÜßÜßÜßÜÜÛÛÛÜßßÜßÜßÜßßßÜÜß ÜßÜß
|
|
ßÜßÜßÜßÜßßÜ ßÜ ßÜßÜß ß Ý ß ßÜ ßÜßÜ ßÜßÜßÜßßÜ
|
|
ÜßßÜßÜ ßÜßÜ ßÜ ß Þ ß ß ß ß ß
|
|
Ý
|
|
Ý
|
|
Þ
|
|
ß
|
|
|
|
Legalize.
|
|
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúù
|
|
Submit your original literary works for Spilled Ink, [volume two], to
|
|
Twilight.
|
|
|
|
Actual Reality: (512) 873-1900 (to Green Hell)
|
|
After Ours: (512) 320-1650 (to Twilight)
|
|
Ice Castle: (713) 722-5400 (to Twilight)
|
|
Liberty: (800) 474-1818 (to Alaskan Twilight)
|
|
telnet liberty.com
|
|
|
|
Or by Internet e-mail:
|
|
twilight@mail.utexas.edu
|
|
ùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúùúù
|
|
|