350 lines
16 KiB
Plaintext
350 lines
16 KiB
Plaintext
°±²ÛßßßßßßßßÛßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßÛßßßßßßßßÛ²±°
|
||
°±²Û ¿¿¿Â¿ Û PiZZA UNDERGROUND DiGEST VOLUME 3 iSSUE 05 EPiC 22 Û Â¿¿¿Â¿ Û²±°
|
||
°±²Û ³Ù³³³³ Û Serving the modem people for a very berry long time. Û ³Ù³³³³ Û²±°
|
||
°±²Û Ù ÀÙÁÙ Û This issue composed mainly by: Baphomet the *.* Û Ù ÀÙÁÙ Û²±°
|
||
°±²ÛÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÛÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÛÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÛ²±°
|
||
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
|
||
|
||
|
||
"I thought I was a llama, I swear!"
|
||
ÚÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄ¿ [1]
|
||
Ú¿ À¿ ÚÙ À¿ ³ ³ÚÄÄÙ ÀÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
|
||
ÄÄÄÄÄÙÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ ÄÄÄÄ¿³ ³³ ³ ÀÄÙ ÚÄÄ¿ ³
|
||
þ Issues? Where o' where have they gone. ÀÄÙÚ¿ÚÄ¿ ÀÙ ÀÙ ³ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄ¿ÀÄÙ
|
||
Á ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙÀÙ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÁÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ÀÄı±±
|
||
ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿±
|
||
ÀÄÄ¿Remember the good ol' days when PUDs used to come out faster than one ³±
|
||
Ú¿ ³could tell how lame a VBBS board was? Well I do. Well guess what? They ³±
|
||
³ÀÄÙdon't any more. Yep that's right they don't do it anymore. Why? Well I ³±
|
||
ÀÄÄ¿am a really lazy person and well No Courier is too. So what does that ³±
|
||
°°°³mean? Nothing. In fact this opening thingee means nothing at all. Nope ³±
|
||
°°°³not a thing, that's right, just a waste of bytes and time. ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ±
|
||
°°ÚÙ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ÄÄÄ¿±±±±±±±±
|
||
°ÚÙÚÂÁÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ±±±
|
||
ÚÙÄÅÙÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄı±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±
|
||
ÀÄÄÙ
|
||
|
||
þ Mail, Oh Mail, Oh MY!
|
||
|
||
This issue is nothing more than a clearing house for stuff that
|
||
really needs to be distrubted[Or whatever]. I have decided that
|
||
even though I have nothing to post off in this issue I should
|
||
finish it just for the sake of all of this mail and stuff.
|
||
|
||
þ Mail from Brett Salyer.
|
||
|
||
Ooops, guess I shouldn't have started with his real name. Damn there
|
||
goes all the wonderment now... Here is a little example of being a
|
||
nice congienial user.
|
||
|
||
4/6 Email
|
||
Title: Get A Life.
|
||
Date: Wed May 05, 1993 16:22:37 (0 days old)
|
||
Origin: Unknown System (Unknown) [?]
|
||
From: Baphomet the limbo king #78 @0 VirtualNET
|
||
To: brett #13 @0 VirtualNET
|
||
|
||
Hey, I am the SysOp of The File Dimension, I have to WORDS for you
|
||
FUCK YOU! You are so cool.. Oh "He is a Lamer"!! (Oh Gosh don't scare me),
|
||
your worse than Mr. Brownstone. I have alot of private users on my BBS
|
||
and they enjoy calling it, your just pissed probably becuase you cant get
|
||
on it. So if you want to act like a DAMN 2 Year Old go ahead..
|
||
|
||
The Gate Keeper
|
||
|
||
[Reply]
|
||
Oh FUCK YOU!
|
||
|
||
Wow that is really original. SO did you or your mommy come up with
|
||
that one? I could care less about your fucking board, obvious by
|
||
my non-attempts to even look at the number cross-eyed. I am just
|
||
SO FUCKING sick of hearing about a PRIVATE bbs. Maybe you need to
|
||
learn some english. Private. That means SHUT the fuck up about it.
|
||
I bet they enjoy calling your little fag-hodge-podge, let me guess
|
||
VBBS board? Was I right? Are you just upset because silentnet died
|
||
so hard? Or it just the fact that you suck... I bet you even have
|
||
an EliTe WaReZ section don't you? God you suck. Yes I mean all of
|
||
this personally. The gate keeper? So your the one I give that 2bucks
|
||
to before I fuck your mom? Oh BTW all flaming intended. Your welcome.
|
||
|
||
Afterthought...
|
||
As shown by the message above, I can be quit, well, er um,
|
||
less than congenial at times. If I have ever been this way
|
||
to you let me take this fine oppotunity to say, well, I
|
||
MEANT EVERY DAMN word of it. Your welcome, no really...
|
||
|
||
þ Mail from some mysterious WWIV user.
|
||
|
||
This message came from the 'Ghost in the Machine' echo where I have
|
||
been arguing for viri writers and the inability of a virus to do
|
||
some physical damage to your machine.
|
||
|
||
Biff And Lola #49 @5922
|
||
Thu May 06 10:57:04 1993
|
||
Regarding:Not good? Viri? Huh?
|
||
Status :No Reply Requested
|
||
|
||
I really wish you'd shut up.
|
||
|
||
You're just about as lame as a Cramp. Stop flaming other users in public,
|
||
and act your age.
|
||
|
||
Well now! I have been called a lot of things but NEVER and I mean never
|
||
has one called me 'lame as a Cramp'. Flaming users in public? Me? Oh
|
||
come come everyone knows how congenial I am. You just ask people for
|
||
some proof about hardware damaging viri and they tend to get all kinds
|
||
of upset.
|
||
|
||
þ Hymie? Mail, why of course!
|
||
|
||
This isn't all of the mail from Hymie, just a sampling hell if I
|
||
included more of his mail we would have to call it the PUD-HYMIE
|
||
newsletter and well damn it that would be nice. Notice how there
|
||
is a no mail from Digital Saint. I am proud of that. We didn't
|
||
want mail from that damn LaMeR anyway.
|
||
|
||
Hymie #86 @2506
|
||
Dear sirs:
|
||
|
||
I must respectfully decline your offer of 5/8/93. Although it would be
|
||
exceedingly nice to say that my daughter is a star of the silver screen, I
|
||
must state in no uncertain terms that I do not care for the subject matter.
|
||
Somehow, I doubt that the title "Bethy Becomes a Big Girl" is indicative of
|
||
a movie I would like for my six year-old to star in. Although it flatters me
|
||
to hear that she would share the spotlight with such illustrious names as
|
||
Satan's Mutt, Necro, and The Kitten Slayer, I must decline.
|
||
|
||
With Goofy Grin---
|
||
---Hymie
|
||
=)
|
||
|
||
Hymie #86 @2506
|
||
Dear Sirs:
|
||
|
||
I would like to take this moment to thank you for picking my daughter
|
||
up from kindergarten after school yesterday. It was quite nice of you.
|
||
However, you forgot to take her home. Although her mother and I appreciate
|
||
the free time, we would greatly appreciate the immediate return of our
|
||
daughter.
|
||
|
||
With Respectfully Goofy Grin---
|
||
---Hymie
|
||
=)
|
||
|
||
|
||
Hymie #86 @2506
|
||
Dear Sirs:
|
||
|
||
We would like to inform you that we are pleased that you have decided
|
||
to return our daughter. However, the terms put forth by you are not
|
||
acceptable. Rather than have our daughter returned one piece at a time, we
|
||
would very much like to have her returned all in one piece, all at one time.
|
||
We hope this is not an inconvenience to you and your parties.
|
||
|
||
With Sincerely Goofy Grin---
|
||
---Hymie
|
||
=)
|
||
|
||
Hymie #86 @2506
|
||
Dear Sirs:
|
||
|
||
We have discovered that our daughter is *not* the only heir to the
|
||
Williamson estate. In fact, she is not due to inherit anything. Due to this
|
||
recent turn of events, we have decided to forsake all claims to our daughter.
|
||
In short, you can have her and do anthing you want to do to her. She enjoys
|
||
bed-time reading material. As her new guardians, I highly recommend that you
|
||
read to her O' Henry's "The Ransom of Big Red Chief"
|
||
|
||
With Goofy Grin---
|
||
---Hymie
|
||
=)
|
||
|
||
þ Lost Mail!
|
||
|
||
If you happened to send in mail and don't see it here[HINT HINT
|
||
CROSS]. That means I lost it. Please get in touch with me so I can
|
||
post your mail here and degr...I mean compliment you in the right
|
||
place, the only place that really cares about you, PUD. We're like
|
||
your family, except we don't feed you, clothe you, give you money,
|
||
or care about you. Other than exactly the same.
|
||
|
||
þ Look a block!
|
||
|
||
See the title line, first character.
|
||
|
||
þ Exclamation!
|
||
|
||
Wow! Is it obvious that I just logged off of a WILDCAT! board?! I
|
||
hope it isn't! Boy! Would that be bad!
|
||
|
||
þ [MaF] ASCii!!!!
|
||
|
||
²ÛÛ
|
||
ÛÛÛÛÛÛ²Û°°°°°°°
|
||
Û ÛÛÛÛ²Û°°°°°°°
|
||
ÛÛÛÛÛÛ²ÛÛ°°°°°°° Entitled: The Colours of Man.
|
||
ÛÛÛÛ²²Û°°° °°°
|
||
ÛÛÛÛ ²²°°
|
||
ÛÛÛ ²²°°
|
||
ÛÛ ²²°°
|
||
|
||
þ Windoze, oh said Bill when I hit him in the nose.[2]
|
||
|
||
I hate Bill Gates. I hate everything about him. But most of all?
|
||
What do I hate about him most of all? Basic. That's right that fine
|
||
programming language that continues to be pushed on the young and
|
||
computer ignorant as some sort of a miracle. What is it good for?
|
||
Not teaching. Surely not programming, I mean all you have to do is
|
||
look at some of it's fine WaReZ. Look at VBBS. I rest my case.
|
||
|
||
þ Random Acts of Cruelty.
|
||
|
||
Yep you hear about them all the time but you wonder who does them.
|
||
Who could do all those mean and just low things? Well I will tell
|
||
you it is PUD. We claim all responsability for EVERYTHING. I'm so
|
||
sorry I didn't put that bolt back right on the shuttle, I'm sorry
|
||
that bomb went off, I'm sorry for the VBBS board that is about to
|
||
go down. I'm just sorry.
|
||
|
||
þ Who am I?
|
||
|
||
Do people call you by your handle in public? They do me. I am not
|
||
sure if it is a curse or not, but the words ,'Hey Baph.' Now make
|
||
me turn me head. Thank god no one calls me Phreakazoid or any of
|
||
my other really stupid-asinine names, and GOD FORBID anyone use
|
||
my real name, which just happens, conversely to be, FRED. No
|
||
releations to fReD tHe HiTmAn of course.
|
||
|
||
þ Mooga, Divinity in the Sea.
|
||
|
||
Mooga, the waves shine upon your back.
|
||
The sky gleams with blue.
|
||
I hope one day you understand that,
|
||
even though I am not a whale I love you.
|
||
|
||
Oh mooga, mooga how fine you are,
|
||
I kick you, spit on you
|
||
despise who you are
|
||
but even I love the waters of blue.
|
||
|
||
The sea was calm as the man stepped out onto the deck.
|
||
The skies rumbled with hatred at the ship.
|
||
Everyone was running around, the weather was heck.
|
||
But across the sea a whale had flown to hunt the man named Bip.
|
||
|
||
Oh mooga, mooga how divine you are,
|
||
I sacrifice my child to you
|
||
Tell the tales of my hatred for the bar
|
||
of steel that keeps from those waters of blue.
|
||
|
||
The sky crashed and rumbled as the ship traveled.
|
||
The man Bip had come to the end of his time.
|
||
But so had I, all trapped in my cell, becoming unraveled.
|
||
The ship borne into a thousand pieces as the mime cried.
|
||
|
||
þ DVX.
|
||
|
||
DesQView-X. Everything windoze should have been but isn't. If you
|
||
enjoy the thoughts of running a real GUI that still has power and
|
||
speed then run it. Damn it DVX is all kind of swass. Run your
|
||
dos programs in virtual screens, run X-Windows stuff, just lie in
|
||
the beauty and simplicity of it's modern utilities.
|
||
|
||
þ Preachers of Truth.
|
||
|
||
Have you seen the 700club lately? You should. It is full of nice
|
||
wholesome factual information. Yep nothing is better than a little
|
||
700 club to get you laughing in the morning...oh I'm going to hell.
|
||
Well damn it. I guess since I am already going, I may as well make
|
||
it worthwhile. Anyone have Roland DeQuickBasic FrEaKs Address?
|
||
|
||
þ Places to Pick up Some PUD's.
|
||
|
||
You may or may not find PUD's at the following locations. There are
|
||
others I have been informed of and to tell you the truth I have no
|
||
idea what the general readership is, I think it is more than 6.[3]
|
||
|
||
Boards, notice no numbers get them your lazy self:
|
||
Project-X, Caustic Contagion, Cybernetic Violence, Midian, Battle
|
||
of Everymore and some other ones I can't remember right now and am
|
||
way to damn lazy to look up. Give PUD to all your friends. It's a
|
||
bad habit that everyone needs to pick up,
|
||
|
||
þ Ergo.
|
||
|
||
I begat the sea ergo I am the one that rules all ergo I am the
|
||
ruler of you ergo you serve me ergo the sky is mine ergo so are
|
||
all of your dreams ergo I am not the orcan man ergo but I still
|
||
can ergo finish men delight in the depths of seas ergo they like
|
||
to fish ergo I have been accused of using the word ergo to much
|
||
ergo I stop.
|
||
|
||
þ More?
|
||
|
||
Will there EVER be more PUD's? Well seeing how I just quit my
|
||
job. Damn I feel so sad. BLahehaehehaee, well anywayz dU0dz I
|
||
got some free time now. I think I will spend it lambasting
|
||
poor innocent ignorant VBBS sysops. Hey and if all goes well
|
||
I will be kicked off of SilentNet by this weekend! YES! Of
|
||
course many of you don't understand how difficult this is. I
|
||
the master of common language, second only to Be..er..um N0
|
||
C0URiER in congeniality will be the worst thing SilentNet has
|
||
ever seen, next to the average pathetic moron of a poster.
|
||
Hmm let me show you a cut from a common post...
|
||
|
||
...Oh yhea well I can qote more then you!.....
|
||
Stupid Alias
|
||
Even Stupidier Catch Phrase.
|
||
|
||
That type of message is usually proceeded by, oh 20 or 30 qouted
|
||
line of pure gibberish. Yep nets are going to save the world! Be
|
||
cool and start your own pathetic local net today!
|
||
|
||
þ Sources for Qoutes:
|
||
|
||
[1] Bloom County. Portney the hedgehog when his true species is
|
||
revealed.
|
||
[2] Not a real qoute. I just made it up, no really I did.
|
||
[3] No really more than 6 people read each issue, hey it may even
|
||
be up into the double digits. I guess that means you are all
|
||
kind of elite if you read [PuD] d0uDz!
|
||
[5] Project-X. No longer being the top poster there, you get reset
|
||
at a thousand, the board's name was changed back to Project-X
|
||
after a brief two stint as 'Baphomet's got a lot of posts' and
|
||
unfortunatly Digital Saint had his alias changed back to Digital
|
||
Saint. I thought Pierce the Pokable Pototoe was good.
|
||
[9] Notice how I skipped a bunch of numbers. That's called being
|
||
creative. Yep I am so original it isn't funny. Ok, ok so I'm a
|
||
sad lazy fuck who is to LaMe to change the qoute numbers, yhea
|
||
well my dog can flip.[7]
|
||
[7] Hey shut-up. It makes sense if you are in the right frame of
|
||
mind. Fucked.
|
||
[13] No believe it or not, Hymie is an actual real person. Sure he
|
||
mistakes gender a lot, steals parts of movie theaters and well
|
||
just has a lot of fun at Krystals but other than that he is a
|
||
real morbid waste of human flesh.
|
||
|
||
þ MAIL SEND MAIL SEND MAIL SEND MAIL SEND MAIL SEND MAIL SEND MAIL SEND MAIL
|
||
|
||
PuD senior editors can always be reached at:
|
||
Baphomet the Limbo King 14@2506 WWIVNET
|
||
NO COURiER 25@2506 WWIVNET
|
||
Or call Project-X[5] and EMAIL us there at (205)-883-0894
|
||
|
||
Contributing users may be more difficult to find:
|
||
Hymie ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ84@2506 WWIVNET[13]
|
||
fReD tHe HiTmAn Off at the Cob Cinema 12 waiting on DIG.
|
||
The BrAvE LiTtLe ToAsteR Sitting under a street-light.
|
||
John McAffee Wondering how come his wife love me more.
|
||
G-BUNNY At the Playmor playing Mortal Kombat.
|
||
Biscuit and Gravy Lee's chicken hitting on a high haired girl.
|
||
Mooga the Whale Currently ranked 3rd in IBF Boxing.
|
||
|
||
Released on the Date: Tue 05-25-1993
|
||
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
|
||
¿ÀÙÀÙÀ¿ÙÀ¿ÚÚÙ¿À¿Ú¿¿ÀÙÀÙÀ¿ÙÀ¿ÚÚÀÙÀ¿ÙÀ¿À¿ÚÀÙÙÀ¿ÚÚ¿À¿ÚÀÙ¿À¿Ú¿¿ÀÙÀÙÀ¿ÙÀ¿ÚÚÀÚÀÙ¿À¿Ú
|
||
À¿ÙÀ¿ÚÚ´EndingÄQouteÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿¿Ú¿¿ÀÙÀ
|
||
ÙÀ¿ÙÀ¿³ "So could I see your student ID?" [9]³À¿Ú¿¿ÀÙ
|
||
ÚÚ¿À¿ÚÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙÙÀÙÀ¿ÙÀ
|
||
ÙÀ¿ÚÚ¿À¿ÚÀÙÙÀ¿ÚÚ¿À¿ÚÀÙ¿À¿Ú¿¿ÀÙÀÙÀ¿ÙÀ¿ÚÚ¿À¿ÀÙ¿ÀÙ¿ÀÙÚ¿Ú ¿¿ÀÀÙ¿À¿ÀÙÙ¿ÚÀÙ¿À¿¿ÀÙÀÙÀ
|