108 lines
7.7 KiB
Plaintext
108 lines
7.7 KiB
Plaintext
ÚÚÚÚ Ú Ú ÚÚÚ ÛßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßÛ
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Ú Ú Ú Ú Ú Ú Û Issue Number 11, Volume 1, Chapter 1, Epic 1 Û
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ÚÚÚÚ Ú Ú Ú Ú Û Released on the date: Feb. 23, 1993. Û
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Ú Ú Ú Ú Ú Û PUD serving the modem public since Febuary 22, 1993! Û
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Ú ÚÚÚÚ ÚÚÚ Û For help and actual info, look elsewhere. Û
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ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÛÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÛ
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ÛÛ²²±±°° °°±²±±°° °±²±°° °°±° °°±²²±±° °±°° °°±±²Û²²Û
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Û²²±±°° °±±°° °±±° °° °±²±° °° °°±±²±Û
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Û±±°°° °° °°° °±° ° °±±±Û
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Û±°° ° ° ° °±°Û
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Û±° °°Û
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Û°° "Squeeze my lemon till the juice runs down my leg..." ° Û
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Û° -Led Zepplin Û
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Û° Û
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Û Û
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Û Û
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Û þ Mail Û
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Û Û
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Û Fuck it. I am sick of including this section, besides there is Û
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Û no mail yet. Woopidty. Û
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Û Û
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Û þ The Anatomy of a Krystal. Û
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Û Û
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Û The krystal is by far the strangest life form on this planet. Û
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Û Known to most people, the krystal, called sliders in the wild, are Û
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Û the most ferocious and vile mammals to roam the sewers of Beverly Û
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Û Hills (90210). They are also quite common in the heights section Û
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Û of melrose place and by 1996 they are expected to graduate into Û
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Û the most dominant species in all of lower Florida. Û
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Û Û
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Û Cut-Away of a Krystal Cut-Away of a Slider Û
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Û Û
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Û bbbbbbbbbbbbbbb -BUN bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb -BUN Û
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Û bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb Û
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Û ooooooooooooooooo -ONION mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm -CANDY SHELL Û
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Û mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm -CANDY SHELL MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM -BRAINS Û
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Û MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM -BRAINS oooooooooooooooooo -ONION Û
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Û bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb Û
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Û bbbbbbbbbbbbbbb -BUN bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb -BUN Û
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Û Û
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Û Note the extreme genetic differences in the two species. The Û
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Û more docile Krystal has the chewy chocalety candy shell on top of Û
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Û it's brains. Where as the much more aggresive Slider has the chewy Û
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Û chocalety shell on top of it's brains. Notice, by the extreme Û
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Û detail of the cut-away's the differences in the sex organs in the Û
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Û two species. See how much more enlarged the ovaries of the Slider Û
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Û are than that of the Krystal. Legend has it that on the third Û
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Û saturday of every month Sliders for some unknown reason take to Û
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Û commiting mass genocide by rudely casting themselves at country Û
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Û tour buses full of fat women. Note that this is strangly like that Û
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Û H0T nEw WaReZ in huntsvegas, Pc Lemmings. Û
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Û Û
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Û þ How to steal a toaster. Û
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Û Û
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Û By: The BRaVE LItTlE TOaStER Û
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Û Û
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Û Theft of toasters can be a very worth while and profitable Û
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Û occupation. But be forewarned toaster theft is extremely Û
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Û dangerous, what with large of rash of mysterious taster thief Û
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Û slayings. These slayings are rumored to be by a one fReD tHe Û
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Û tOaStEr iS mInE SmItH. He is currently on the SPA top ten hit Û
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Û list and is wanted for questioning in 62 states. Anyway I digress Û
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Û let me get back to the TFiLE. To begin with you must make sure Û
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Û have a valid and great plan. The planning stage is by far the most Û
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Û important part of the whole process. Û
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Û Part 1, the plan. Making you plan is the key to your toaster Û
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Û thievary success. Make sure you have a place to steal a toaster Û
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Û from. Next make sure you have a get-away vehicle, a 747 would be Û
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Û suitable. Last make sure you have plent of weapons, machine guns Û
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Û are not suitable for toaster thievary, but various anti-aircraft Û
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Û weapons will be. Û
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Û Part 2, the Execution. Now here is where you kill all your Û
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Û accomplises. Û
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Û Part 3, Stealing the Toaster. To steal the toaster simply walk Û
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Û in, carefully concealing your anti-aircraft weaponry under your Û
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Û arm. If anyone notices, kill them instantly, but quitely. The key Û
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Û to stealing a good toaster is avoiding ones with flowerdy prints, Û
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Û as they are usually cheap and just don't cook your toast right. Û
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Û Hide the toaster in the crotch of your pants and walk out the Û
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Û store. Û
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Û Part 4, The get away. The second you leave the store you must Û
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Û quickly turn and destroy it, cover your tracks! Next take any Û
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Û suitable vehicle in the parking lot and head for your plane. Be Û
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Û sure to destroy all oncoming traffic as you near the airport, no Û
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Û use in leaving any witnesses alive. When at the airport pick 3 or Û
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Û 4 attractive stewardesses and maim them seriously. Why? Just for Û
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Û fun of it. Now board your plane and fly away. The end. Û
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Û Look for more articles on toaster professions from me, soon. Û
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Û Û
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Û þ Closing. Û
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Û Û
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Û Did I mention, you still fucking suck. Û
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Û Û
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Û þ Mail! Û
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Û Û
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Û Keep your sorry-attempts at mail coming! Û
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Û Baphomet the Limbo King WWIVNET 2506@14 Û
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Û NO COURiER WWIVNET 2506@36 Û
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Û Û
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Û° °Û
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Û° ° ° ° °±Û
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Û±° °° °° ° °° °±²Û
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Û±±° °±±°° °±°° °° °±±° °°±²²Û
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Û²±±°° °±²±°°° °±²±±°° °°±° °±²±±° °°±²²ÛÛÛ
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ÛßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßÛ
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Û End of PUD 1:11, "...and shake it all about..." Û
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ÛÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÛ
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