textfiles/humor/memo.hum

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#############################################
# MEMO: #
# #
# TO: All personnel #
# #
# From: Personnel Department #
# #
# RE: Employment termination #
# #
# 1. A comprehensive study of computer #
# Capabilities and the discontinuance #
# of certain employee positionc #
# makes it NECESSARY to give serious #
# consideration to the termination of #
# surplus personnel. #
# #
# 2. In accordance with department policy #
# a new program has been instituted #
# to phase out old personnel by the #
# end of the fiscal year effective #
# IMMEDIATELY. #
# It shall be known as RAPE #
# (RETIRE ALL PERSONNEL EARLY). #
# #
# 3. Employees who have been RAPED will #
# be given an opportunity to seek other #
# employment, provided while being #
# RAPED, they request a review of their #
# employment record before the discharge #
# takes place. This phase will be known #
# as the SCREW (SURVEY CAPABILITIES #
# OF RETIRED EARLY WORKERS). #
# #
# 4. All employees that have been RAPED #
# or SCREWED may apply for final review. #
# This will be called SHAFT (STUDY OF #
# HIRE AUTHORITY FOLLOWING TERMINATION). #
# Present departmental policy dictates #
# that employees may be RAPED once #
# and SCREWED twice, but may get the #
# SHAFT as many times as the department #
# deems appropriate. #
# #
# Signed, The Management #
# #
#############################################
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