50 lines
2.0 KiB
Plaintext
50 lines
2.0 KiB
Plaintext
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#############################################
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# MEMO: #
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# #
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# TO: All personnel #
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# #
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# From: Personnel Department #
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# #
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# RE: Employment termination #
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# #
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# 1. A comprehensive study of computer #
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# Capabilities and the discontinuance #
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# of certain employee positionc #
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# makes it NECESSARY to give serious #
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# consideration to the termination of #
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# surplus personnel. #
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# #
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# 2. In accordance with department policy #
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# a new program has been instituted #
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# to phase out old personnel by the #
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# end of the fiscal year effective #
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# IMMEDIATELY. #
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# It shall be known as RAPE #
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# (RETIRE ALL PERSONNEL EARLY). #
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# #
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# 3. Employees who have been RAPED will #
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# be given an opportunity to seek other #
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# employment, provided while being #
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# RAPED, they request a review of their #
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# employment record before the discharge #
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# takes place. This phase will be known #
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# as the SCREW (SURVEY CAPABILITIES #
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# OF RETIRED EARLY WORKERS). #
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# #
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# 4. All employees that have been RAPED #
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# or SCREWED may apply for final review. #
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# This will be called SHAFT (STUDY OF #
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# HIRE AUTHORITY FOLLOWING TERMINATION). #
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# Present departmental policy dictates #
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# that employees may be RAPED once #
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# and SCREWED twice, but may get the #
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# SHAFT as many times as the department #
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# deems appropriate. #
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# #
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# Signed, The Management #
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# #
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#############################################
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