203 lines
9.5 KiB
Plaintext
203 lines
9.5 KiB
Plaintext
From GORMAN_B@PRIME1.LANCASHIRE-POLY.AC.UK Tue Oct 3 20:05:33 1989
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From: GORMAN_B@PRIME1.LANCASHIRE-POLY.AC.UK
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Subject: Ailments
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[] Have you exhausted the excuses for taking a day off? Are all your
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grannies dead? Does the boss no longer believe the one about the
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crippled aunt who keeps falling over?
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[] They're all in a new book, "The Complete Hypochondriac", by the
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american author Dr E R Plunkett, published by Robert Hale #5.95
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AIR CONTROLLERS SYNDROME: Peptic ulcers occuring among air traffic
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controllers, as a result of job stress {Illinois Medical Journal, 72}
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ALOPECIA WALKMANIA: Loss of hair from prolonged use of personal stereo
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headphones. {Journal of the American Medical Association, 1984}
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ANCHORMAN GLAZE: Glazed-eye look of TV anchorman caused by looking at
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the teleprompter through glaring camera lights.
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{Syracuse, New York, TV station, 1960}
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ARTIC TEMPER: Extreme irritability developing amongst arctic explorers
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exposed to darkness, monotony, isolation and sensory depravation.
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{Lancet, 1910}
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BARBERS BREASTS: Irritation of female hairdressers' nipples caused by
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penetrating hair clippings.
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{Clinical and Experimental Dermatology, 1982}
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BEER DRINKERS FINGER: Swelling, bluish discoloration and wasting of
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finger caused by placing pop-top beer can rings on finger. {JAMA, 68}
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BINGO BRAIN: The headache assocated with carbon monoxide intoxication
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which occurs after spending long hours in smoke filled bingo halls.
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{Canadian Medical Association, 1982}
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BIRDWATCHERS TWITCH: The nervous excitement of spotting a species for
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the first time. {New Scientist, 1982}
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BODY BUILDERS PSYCHOSIS: Psychotic episodes associated with the use of
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anabolic steroids; causing hallucinations, paranoid delusions,
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grandiose beliefs and manic-depressive sysmptoms. {Lancet, 1987}
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BOOKSELLERS BENDS: Sickness caused by changes in atmospheric pressure
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as the book the customer wants is always on the top shelf. {?}
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BULL MENS HAND: Numbness and pain in the index and middle fingers
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amongst artificial inseminators of cattle due to the constrictive
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effect of the rubber gloves and sleeve worn for this purpose.
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{Irish Medical Association, 1974}
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CASINO FEET: Soreness of the feet caused by standing in front of slot
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machines for long periods of time. {Wilmington Morning Star, 1981}
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CHICKEN NECK WRINGERS FINGER: Partial dislocation and arthritis of
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middle finger joint from continued use of this finger to dislocate
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chickens necks for slaughtering. {BMA Journal, 1955}
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CHRISTMAS DEPRESSION: Psychological stress during holidays related to
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the use of alcohol and social pressures. {JAMA, 1982}
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CREDIT-CARD-ITIS: Pain over the buttock and down thigh due to pressure
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on nerve from a wallet stuffed with credit cards.
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{New England Medical Journal, 1966}
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DISCO DIGIT: A sore finger from snapping fingers while dancing.
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{New England Medical Journal}
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DOG WALKERS ELBOW: Pain caused by constant tension and tugs from a dog
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leash. {New England Medical Journal, 1979}
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ELECTRONIC SPACE-WAR VIDEO-GAME EPILEPSY: Epilepsy caused by the
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flashing lights of electronic video games. {BMA Journal, 1982}
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ESPRESSO WRIST: Pain in espresso coffee machine operators from strong
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wrist motions required to make the coffee. {JAMA, 1956}
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FLIP-FLOP DERMATITIS: Skin disease on feet from wearing rubber
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flip-flops. {BMA Journal, 1965}
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FRISBEE FINGER: Cutting of finger from strenuous throwing of a frisbee
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{New England Medical Journal, 1975}
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GENU AMORIS: Swelling and pain in the knee from making love in an
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unusual position. {Arthritis and Rheumatism Journal, 1976}
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GOLF ARM: Shoulder and elbow pain after too many rounds of golf.
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{BMA Journal, 1896}
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GUITARISTS GROIN: Inflammation of veins on inside of thigh caused by
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pressure of guitar. {BMA Journal, 1974}
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HOOKERS ELBOW: Painful shoulder swelling suffered by fishermen
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repeatedly jerking upwards on a fishing line.
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{New England Medical Journal, 1981}
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HOUSWIFITIS: Nervous symptoms related to spending too much time
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managing a busy household. {Centrescope, 1976}
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HUMPERS LUMP: Swelling suffered by hotel porters from lugging heavy
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bags. {Diseases of Occupations, 1975}
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ICE-CREAM FROSTBITE: Frostbite on the lips from prolonged contact with
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ice-cream. {New England Medical Journal, 1982}
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JAZZ BALLET BOTTOM: Painful abscesses suffered by dancers who
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frequently spin on their bottoms. {Daily Telegraph, 1987}
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JEANS FOLLICULITIS: Irritation of the hair follicles on the bottom,
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groin, and thighs caused by ultra-tight jeans.
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{New England Medical Journal, 1981}
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JOGGERS NIPPLE: Nipple irritation caused by shirt friction when women
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joggers dont wear a bra. {New England Medical Journal, 1977}
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JOYSTICK DIGIT: Trigger finger pain following prolonged use of video
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game joysticks. {JAMA, 1987}
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KNIFE SHARPENERS CRAMP: Painful hand swelling from sharpening too many
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knives. {Diseases of Occupations, 1975}
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LABEL LICKERS TONGUE: Ulcers in mouth from sensitivity to stick labels
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{Dangerous Trades, 1902}
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LOVERS PALSY: Numbness of forearm from compression of nerve trapped in
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an unusual position. {Western Journal of Medicine, 1977}
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MONEY COUNTERS CRAMP: Painful seisure of muscles from counting too
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much cash. {English University Press, 1975}
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MOTORWAY BLUES: The sort of headaches noted by drivers on congested
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motorways. {BMA Journal, 1963}
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NUNS KNEE: Swelling of kneeecap from repeated kneeling in prayer.
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{Diseases of Occupations, 1975}
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OYSTER SHUCKERS KERATITIS: Eye irritation from contact with fragments
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of oyster shells. {BMA Journal, 1896}
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PANTIE GIRDLE SYNDROME: Tingling or swelling of feet from wearing a
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too-tight pantie girdle. {BMA Journal, 1972}
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PLAYERS LIVER: The hazard of spending too long in the bar instead of
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playing the game. {Encyclopedia of Sports, 1971}
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QUICK-DRAW LEG: Bullet wound in leg from practising fast draw from gun
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in belt holster. {JAMA, 1966}
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REFLEX HORN SYNDROME: Tendency for drivers waiting in traffic jams to
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toot horns. {New England Medical Journal, 1976}
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RETIRED HUSBAND SYNDROME: Tension, headaches, depression and anxiety
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felt by women whose husbands have just retired.
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{Western Journal of Medicine, 1984}
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SEAMSTRESSES BOTTOM: Hardening of skin following long-term trauma of
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rocking on the hips while operating a sewing machine.
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{American Family Physician, 1979}
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SICK SANTAS SYNDROME: Low back pain from lifting heavy children and
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parcels and aquired illnesses from multiple contact with kids.
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{JAMA, 1986}
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SLOT MACHINE TENDINITIS: Tenderness of the shoulder from playing slot
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machines. {New England Medical Journal, 1981}
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SYNDROME SYNDROME: Any medical reaction to reading about other peoples
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syndromes. {British Medical Journal}
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TELEVISION LEGS: Loss of normal flexibility of the legs from being
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slumped in a chair in front of the box for too long. {JAMA, 1958}
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TOILET SEAT DERMATITIS: Skin irritation on buttocks from spending too
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much time on the toilet. {Archive of Dermatology, 1933}
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UNIFORM RASH: Skin irritation of neck, chest and arms from wearing new
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uniforms. {BMJ, 1973}
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VOLKSWAGEN DERMATITIS: Allergic skin reaction caused by rubber bumper
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guards. {Archive of Dermatology, 1971}
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WANKERS CRAMP: .............. {trad}
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WELLIE THROWERS FINGER: Injury to finger joints sustained in wellie
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throwing contests. {BMJ, 1986}
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WORKING WIFE SYNDROME: Fatigue, irritability, headaches and diminished
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sex drive from strain of doing two jobs. {Lancet, 1966}
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YOGA FOOT DROP: Paralysis of foot due to compounded pressure from
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practicing Yoga positions. {JAMA, 1971}
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ZIP INJURY: Injury to the penis from entrapment in zip. {BMJ, 1977}
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| Source: The Sun, September 28th 1989 |
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