122 lines
4.9 KiB
Plaintext
122 lines
4.9 KiB
Plaintext
Subject: This tree has no nodes. No nodes, how does it parse? Recursively!
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I've got this compilation of variations on the "My Dog's Got no Nose"
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joke, which I thought you might like to use in rec.humor.funny. I have
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read your list of submission guidelines, and I know that you don't like
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people to submit groups of jokes all at once, *but* ... Well, when you
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have read through these, you will realise that a lot of them don't make
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sense out of context.
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You will be glad to see that these are all fully attributed. Mike Taylor
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is me, Andy Charles, Andreas Pagel and Mike Lessacher are friends, and
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Andy Clews is a systems administrator I happen to be in email contact
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with, due to him liking the original MDGNN compendium, (which consisted
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basically of the first fourteen of these). You should know that this
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subset of the following was posted to eunet.jokes, about 18 months ago,
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but that otherwise, these are all completely new.
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I hope you can use these, then. Keep up the good work with the group!
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/*--------------------------------------------------------------------------*/
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The Complete "My Dog's Got No Nose" Compendium
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==============================================
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1st man: My dog's got no nose.
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2nd man: How does he smell?
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1st man: Awful.
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(Traditional)
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1st man: My dog's got no nose.
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2nd man: How does he smell?
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1st man: You poke his eyes out.
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(Mike Taylor)
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1st man: My dog's got no nose.
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2nd man: How does he smell?
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1st man: (Pause) ... Well, it's kind of hard to describe really.
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(Mike Taylor)
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1st man: My dog's got no nose.
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2nd man: How does he smell?
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1st man: (Pause) ... It's OK, he has got one really.
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(Andreas Pagel)
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1st man: My dog's got no nose.
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2nd man: How does he smell?
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1st man: (Pause) ... Oh, go and get a glass of water.
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(Andy Charles, incorporating material from
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"Monty Python and the Holy Grail")
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1st man: My dog's got no ears.
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2nd man: How does he smell?
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1st man: With his nose, obviously.
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(Mike Taylor)
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1st man: My dog's got no nose.
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2nd man: How does he smell?
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1st man: Of his own accord.
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(Trad., arr. Mike Taylor)
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1st man: My dog's over thirteen billion miles long.
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2nd man: How does he smell?
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1st man: Don't change the subject.
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(Mike Taylor)
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1st man: My dog's literally doesn't exist.
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2nd man: How does he smell?
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1st man: Don't ask stupid questions.
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(Mike Taylor)
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1st man: My wife's gone to the West Indies.
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2nd man: How does she smell?
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1st man: When it's ajar.
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(Trad., arr. Mike Taylor)
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1st man: How do you make a Venetian Urn?
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2nd man: I don't know, how _do_ you make a Venetian Urn?
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1st man: (Pause) ... I'm sorry, I appear to have made a mistake.
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(Mike Taylor)
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1st man: My frog's got no nose.
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2nd man: How does it smell?
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1st man: Frogs can't smell.
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(Mike Taylor)
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1st man: My dog, who incidentally had no nose, died yesterday.
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2nd man: How did he smell?
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1st man: We shall never know. He died before he could tell me.
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(Andy Clews)
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1st Restaurant owner: My dog he die yesterday.
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2nd Restaurant owner: How do he smell?
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1st Restaurant owner: Don't know, but customers think he taste pretty good.
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(Country of origin omitted here for sake of international relations)
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(Andy Clews)
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1st Circumlocutionist: I have in my possession an animal belonging to
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the family Canidae, and it appears that he does not possess any
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extra-facial olfactory organs.
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2nd Circumlocutionist: Could you therefore impart to me such knowledge as
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may be necessary to describe how that animal circumvents the problem
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of satisfying his olfactory senses?
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1st Circumlocutionist: Unfortunately the non-ambiguity of your enquiry does
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not easily permit me to provide a clever answer, but I am in fact
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thinking of referring the animal to an olfactologist. However, the
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animal does have a fairly unpleasant body odour, should you be
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interested.
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(Andy Clews)
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Cannibal Dog: My dog's got no nose.
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(Mike Lessacher)
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Senile old fool: My dog's got no nose.
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Young delinquent: Why is that?
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Senile old fool: He's been dead for 30 years.
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(Mike Lessacher)
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Senile old fool: My dog's got no nose.
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Young delinquent: Why is that?
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Senile old fool: I've been dead for 30 years.
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(Mike Lessacher)
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