47 lines
2.5 KiB
Plaintext
47 lines
2.5 KiB
Plaintext
Subject: TV Evangalism: True Story
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I feel before the joke I should mention a few things. First, I am a
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Christian. Second, I feel that It is wrong to ridicule Christ as a
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Christian. However, I feel that it is my duty to show people what kind
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of Charletons are out there. Through this true story you can see how a
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person who "Speaks with Authority" can make a joke out of a serious
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matter. It is OK to laugh at the antics, but please don't use this as
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a reason to condemn a whole religion. Feel free to mail me if you
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have any questions.
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I was watching TV one night when while flicking through the stations I
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came across a TV Evangelist. Now, being Christian, I decided to get a
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fulfilling and meaningful message which he would preach. Now, I have
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seen TV Evangelists before (I'll call them TVE) and some I enjoyed
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immensely such as Pat Robertson and Billy Graham. However, I asn't
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prepared for this man......
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"You! Yes YOU can be blessed by the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY <Something
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muttered in toungues for 5 seconds> just by sending me a small
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contribution of only two thousand dollars! The LORD <More toungues>...
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OH YES HE IS HERE <More Toungues> The LORD... I hear him telling
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me... oh YES Lord that YES he wants You! Yes You! <toungues> to GIVE
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ME Two THOUSAND Dollars to support my minestry! The LORD Will Return
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in one Hundred fold! Here is a True Story...."
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Some Woman: I turned on his show ondering how I would be able to make
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my house mayments. At that time he as asking for Two hundred. Then GOD
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told me to give because the price is going up very soon. I got the
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money I DON'T KNOW HOW for my payments.
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"Yes! ANOTHER GREEAT TESTIMONY! You know, WWWhen I first started, I
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was asking for 50 dollars a person. Then the LORD GOD <Toungues
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again>... Yes the LORD GOD HIMSELF! Came to ME Haleluia <More
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toungues>! He Came to ME and said 'Don't ask for fifty anymore.' So I
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raised it to One Hundred. The the LORD <More Toungues>... the LORD
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asked me to not ask for One Hundred. So I asked for Two Hundred. Then
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He asked me to stop, and I raised it to Five Hundred, then One
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thousand.. NOW the Lord asked me to no longer ask for $1000. So now,
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as the LORD GOD has asked me Haleluiah! <toungues> The LORD GOD asked
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me! I ask you for $2000!!! The Lord wants you to give it to me. If you
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do, I will send you this piece of cloth which I prayed with and has
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been annoited by the Holy Spirit! This Cloth is FILLED with the Holy
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Spirit. Pray with this cloth and you TOO can be filled with the Spirit
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from this cloth! So Send NOW!"
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