131 lines
4.1 KiB
Plaintext
131 lines
4.1 KiB
Plaintext
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Here are some signs and notices written in English that were
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discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an
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"E" for Effort. We hope you enjoy them.
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In a Tokyo hotel:
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Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person
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to do such a thing is please not to read notis.
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In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
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The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret
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that you will be unbearable.
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In a Leipzig elevator:
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Do not enter lift backwards, and only when lit up.
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In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
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To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should
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enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor.
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Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
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In a Paris hotel elevator:
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Please leave your values at the front desk.
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In a hotel in Athens:
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Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours
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of 9 and 11 am daily.
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In a Yugoslavian hotel:
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The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the
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chambermaid.
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In a Japanese hotel:
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You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
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In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from Russian Orthodox monastery:
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You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and
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Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
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In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
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Not to perambulate the corriders during the hours of repose in
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the boots of ascension.
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On the menu of a Polish hotel:
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Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings
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in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers
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beaten up in the country people's fashion.
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Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
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Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
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In a Bangkok dry cleaners:
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Drop your trousers here for best results.
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Outside a Paris dress shop:
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Dresses for street walking.
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In a Rhodes tailor shop:
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Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute
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customers in strict rotation.
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A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
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It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site
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that people of different sex, for instance, men and women,
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live together in one tent unless they are married with each
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ther for that purpose.
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In a Zurich hotel:
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Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex
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in the bedroom, it is suggested that they lobby be used for this
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purpose.
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In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
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Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
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In a Rome laundry:
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Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having
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a good time.
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In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
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Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.
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Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
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Would you like to ride on your own ass?
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In a Bangkok temple:
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It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
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In a Tokyo bar:
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Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
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In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
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W We take your bags and send them in all directions.
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On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
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If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
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In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
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Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
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In a Budapest zoo:
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Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give
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it to the guard on duty.
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In the office of a Roman doctor:
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Special in women and other diseases.
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In an Acapulco hotel:
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The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
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In a Tokyo shop:
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Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in
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the long run.
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From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
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Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room,
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please control yourself.
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From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
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When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him
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melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage
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then tootle him with vigor.
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Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
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-- English well speaking
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-- Here speeching American
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-/Vuarnet International/-
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617/527.oo91
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24oo-16.8k HST/V32bis |