141 lines
3.5 KiB
Plaintext
141 lines
3.5 KiB
Plaintext
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Actual bumper stickers found on actual cars:
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* Horn broken. Watch for finger.
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* Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
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* All generalizations are false.
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* Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
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* I brake for no apparent reason.
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* Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
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* I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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* Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.
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* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
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* He who laughs last thinks slowest.
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* It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
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* Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
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* Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
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* Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
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* I love cats...they taste just like chicken.
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* Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
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* Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons.
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* Born free...Taxed to death.
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* The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
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* Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
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* Rehab is for quitters.
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* I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
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* Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep.
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* All men are idiots, and I married their King.
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* Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
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* Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
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* Montana-At least our cows are sane!
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* I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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* Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
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* If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
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* When you do a good deed, get a receipt-in case heaven is like the IRS..
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* Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
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* No radio - Already stolen.
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* Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
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* Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
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* I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
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* Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
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* OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
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* Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
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* I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
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* Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
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* Tell me to 'stuff it' - I'm a taxidermist.
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* IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
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* Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.
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* It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
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* According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
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* Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
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* Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
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* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
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* Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
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* How can I miss you if you won't go away?
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* Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
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* Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
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* We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
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* Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
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* Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
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* Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
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* Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
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* Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
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* Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
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* i souport publik edekashun.
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* Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
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* Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
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* There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
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* Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
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* Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
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* Keep honking...I'm reloading.
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* Caution: I drive like you do.
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