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The Complete Set of Blonde Jokes (203)
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1. Q: What do you call a Blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
2. Q: How do Blonde braincells die?
A: Alone.
3. Q: How do you brainwash a Blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
4. Q: What do you call it when a Blonde dyes her hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
5. Q: How does a Blonde part her hair?
A: (Action of scissoring legs apart)
6. Q: Why do Blondes wash her hair in the sink?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
7. Q: Why didn't the Blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just dyed her hair.
8. Q: Why didn't the Blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't wnat it blown around
too much.
9. Q: Why do Blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.
10. Q: Why is it good to have a Blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
11. Q: Why is a Blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get fucked up when they're on their back.
12. Q: How do you make a Blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.
13. Q: Why should Blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to re-train them.
14. Q: How can you tell if a Blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
15. Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
16. Q: What do a Blonde and your computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go
down on you.
17. Q: What did the Blonde think of the new computer?
A: She didn't like it 'cos she couldn't get 69...
18. Q: Why do Blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
19. Q: How do you kill a Blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
20. Q: How do Blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
21. Q: Why don't Blondes eat Jello?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little
packages.
22. Q: What do you call a Blonde with a dollar on the top of her head?
A: All you can eat, under a buck.
23. Q: Why don't Blondes eat pickles?
A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.
24. Q: Why do Blondes wear hoop earings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
25. Q: What does a Blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
26. Q: Why do Blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
27. Q: Why do Blondes wear red lipstick?
A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."
28. Q: How can you tell if a Blonde has been in your refrigertator?
A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.
29. Q: Why don't Blondes use vibrators?
A: They chip their teeth.
30. Q: Why do Blondes wear underwear?
A: They make good ankle warmers.
31. Q: What do Blondes do for foreplay?
A: Remove their underwear.
32. Q: What's the mating call of the Blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
33. Q: What is the mating call of the ugly Blonde?
A: (Screaming) I said, "I'm *sooo* drunk!!!"
34. Q: What's the mating call of the Brunette?
A: "All the Blondes have gone home!"
A2: Has that Blonde gone yet?
35. Q: What's the mating call of the Redhead?
A: "Next!"
36. Q: Why do Blondes like the GST? (Goods and Services Tax now in effect
in Canada)
A: Because they can spell it.
37. Q: What is 74 to a Blonde?
A: 69 plus G.S.T.
38. Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.
39. Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
A: Tits go in front.
40. Q: What do you call a Brunette with a Blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.
41. Q: What od you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."
42. Q: What do Blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.
43. Q: What's the first thing a Blonde does inthe morning?
A: Introduce herself.
A2: Walks home.
44. Q: How does a Blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A: Fertilized.
A2: Unfertilized.
45. Q: What's the first thing a Blonde does after sex?
A: Opens the car door.
46. Q: How do Blondes turn the light on after sex?
A: Kick open the car door.
47. Q: Why do Blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.
48. Q: Why do Blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A: More leg room.
49. Q: What is the worst thing about sex with a Blonde?
A: Bucket seats.
50. Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Swans?
51. Q: What important question does a Blonde ask his/her mate before having
sex?
A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?
52. Q: Why do Blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasms?
A: *Who cares?*
53. Q: Why do Blondes have orgasms?
A: So they know when to stop having sex!
54. Q: How do you tell when a Blonde reaches orgasm???
A: She drops her nail-file!!!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says 'next'
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He's had his clothes off for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.
55. Q: What does a Blonde say when you blow in her ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"
56. Q: Why do Blondes have more fun?
A: Because they don't know any better.
57. Q: How many Blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: "What's a lightbulb?"
A1: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A2: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
58. Q: What's a Blonde's favourite wine?
A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Haaawaai!"
59. Q: What does a peroxide Blonde and a 747 have in common?
A: They both have a black box.
A2: Both have a cockpit.
60. Q: What is the difference between a Blond and a 747
A: Not everyone has been in a 747
61. Q: What does a dumb Blonde say when she gives birth?
A: Gee, are you sure it's mine?
62. Q: What did the Blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure that it's mine?"
63. Q: What do you call 10 Blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
64. Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.
65. Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb Blond, and a smart Blonde
are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it
up?
A: The dumb Blonde! Because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus,
the Tooth Fairy, or a smart Blonde.
66. Q: Why did the Blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
67. Q: What do you do when a Blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull out the pin and throw it back.
68. Q: Why do Blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.
69. Q: How does a Blonde interpret 6.9?
A: A 69 interrupted by a period.
70. Q: Why do Brunettes take the pill?
A: Wishful thinking.
71. Q: Why did the Blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also a Blonde.
72. Q: If a Blonde and a Brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the
the ground first?
A: The Brunette. The Blonde had to stop to ask for directions.
A2: The Brunette. The Blonde rose. (Hot air rises)
73. Q: What happens when a Blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!
74. Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friends.
75. Q: What is the difference between butter and a Blonde?
A: Butter is difficult to spread.
76. Q: What is the difference between a Blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
77. Q: What is the differece between a Blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic"?
78. Q: What is the difference between a smart Blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
79. Q: What's the difference between a Blond and a telephone?
A: It costs 25 cents to use a telephone.
80. Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and a guy?
A: The Blonde has the higher sperm count.
81. Q: Why is a washing machine better than a Blonde?
A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't
follow you around for a week.
82. Q: What do Blondes and cow-patties have in common?
A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.
83. Q: What does a screen door and a Blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.
84. Q: What does a Blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
85. Q: What do Blondes and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them.
86. Q: What do peroxide Blondes and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.
87. Q: What do you call a Blonde with a bag of sugar on her head?
A: A sweet fuck.
88. Q: Why did the deaf Blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.
89. Q: How do you drown a Blonde?
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A1: Don't tell her to swallow.
90. Q: Why did the Blonde chick drown in the pool?
A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
91. Q: Why do Blondes have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
92. Q: How many Blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
A: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
A1: 3. one to mix the batter and 2 to squeeze the rabbit.
93. Q: What job function does a Blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.
94. Q: Why did the Blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.
95. Q: How do you tell if a Blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
96. Q: What did the Blonde's mom say to her before the Blonde's date?
A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.
97. Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: "I'm a Blonde. I'm a Blonde. I'm a B.L.O.N...ah, oh well...
I'm a Blonde. I'm a Blonde. Yea yea yea yea..."
98. Q: Why does a Blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
99. Q: How did the Blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
100. Q: Why did the Blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw
puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box, it said from 2-4 years.
101. Q: What do you say to a Blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: "Nice tits!"
102. Q: How does a Blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
103. Q: Why aren't there many Blonde gymnasts?
A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.
104. Q: Why do Blondes have legs?
A: So they don't leave a snail trail on the ground.
105. Q: Why did the Blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and
come home?
A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a T.V.
106. Q: What is the irritating part around a Blonde's vagina?
A: The Blonde!
107. Q: How do you describe a Blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.
108. Q: Why do Blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the 11 in 9-1-1.
109. Q: What did the Blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by
'the fuzz'?
A: 'No. But I've been swung around by the tits.'
110. Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of Blondes?
A: Frosted Flakes.
111. Q: Why did the Blonde stop using the pill?
A: It kept falling out.
112. Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes.
113. Q: What did the Blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh, look! Donut seeds!"
114. Q: Why do Blondes have two more brain cells than a cow?
A: So they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits.
115. Q: Why don't Blondes breast feed?
A: Because they always burn their nipples.
116. Q: Why do Blondes put their hair in ponytail?
A: To cover up the valve system.
117. Q: What did the Blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.
118. Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a Blonde's head?
A: A space invader.
119. Q: What's a Blonde's favorite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
120. Q: What do you see when you look into a Blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.
121. Q: Why do Blondes drive VW's?
A: Because they can't spell Porsche!!
122. Q: How do you make a Blonde laugh on a Monday morning?
A: Tell her a joke on Friday night!
123. Q: Why did God create Blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
124. Q: What do you call a Blonde in a tree with a brief ccase?
A: Branch Manager.
125. Q: Why do Blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
126. Q: What's black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A Blonde electrician.
127. Q: Why are dumb Blonde jokes so short?
A: So Brunettes can remember them.
A2: Because Blondes are so SHALLOW, a long joke wouldn't fit.
128. Q: Why wasn't the Virgin Mary a Blonde???
A: She wouldn't of been old enough to bear children??
129. Q: What do you call a smart Blonde?
A: A labrador.
130. Q: Whay are Blondes hurt by peoples' words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
131. Q: Why did the Bonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because, she gave blow-jobs literally.
132. Q: What did the Blonde do when she got her period?
A: Looked for the bastard that must have shot her!
133. Q: What did the Blonde say to the physicist?
A: "Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"
134. Q: Why are Blondes like cornflakes?
A: Because, they're simple, easy and they taste good.
135. Q: How do you know when a Blonde has been making chocolate chip
cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
136. Did you hear about the Blonde that stayed up all night to see where the
sun went? It finally dawned on her.
137. A Blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign
that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to
herself "Oh well!" and turned around and drove home.
138. On her way home the same Blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN
RESTROOMS NEXT 8 MILES." By the time she drove eight miles, she had
cleaned 43 restrooms.
139. How about the suicide Blonde?
She dyed by her own hand.
140. A Brunette and a Blonde are walking along in a park. The Brunette says
suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie." The Blonde stops, looks up,
and says, "Where?"
141. A policeman pulled a Blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way
on a one-way street.
COP: Do you know where you were going?
BLONDE: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people
were leaving.
142. A cop stops a Blonde woman who was driving down a motorway.
"Miss, may I see your driver's licence, please?"
"Driver's licence? What's that?"
"It's a little card with your picture on it."
"Oh, duh! here it is..."
"May I have your car insurance?"
"What's that?"
"It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the car."
"Oh this? Duh! Here you go..."
The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the Blonde exclaims:
"Oh no, not another breathalyzer test!!"
143. Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "Iron", then we could do
without the ironing lady.
Wife: Well, if you would learn to Fuck Me properly, we could do
without the gardener.
144. A Blonde and a Brunette werre discussing their boyfriends:
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over fifteen.
Brunette: My God! I had no idea he was that good.
Blonde: (Looking Shocked) Oh, you mean with the same guy?!
145. Three Blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. ONe of them
decides to call 911:
Blonde: We need help. We're three Blondes changing a light
bulb.
Operator: Hmmm. You put in a fesh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house is on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: and the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Operator: Then, what's the problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all
fell and hurt ourselves.
146. What aobut the Blonde guy whose wife gave birth to twins?
He wanted to know who the other man was....
147. There were three people stranded on an island, a Brunette, a Redhead,
and a Blonde. The Brunette looked over the water to the mainland and
estimated about 20 miles to shore, so seh announced, "I'm going to try
to swim to shore." So, she swam out about five miles, and got really
tired. She swam out ten miles fromthe island, and she was too tired to
go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the Redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it.
I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and
starve." So, she attempts to swim out. The Redhead had a lot more
endurance than the Brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even
got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to got on, so she drowned.
So, the Blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it?! I think
I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles,
15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight,
but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.
148. This Blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the Blonde
said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull your finger out,
I'll sink?"
149. Two Blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and
said, "Oh, look at the deer track." The other Blonde looks down and
says, "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No, those are
deer tracks." They kept arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later,
they were both killed by a train.
150. The Blonde came running downstairs, crying. Her mother asked what was
wrong and the Blonde said her boyfriend had just dropped her. Her mother
(a Blonde) nodded wisely and proceeded to tell her about the birds and
the bees and the Blonde said: "No Ma. I can fuck and suck with the best
of them. But, he says I can't cook worth a damn.!"
151. Two Blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their
Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder. It's starting to
rain and the top is down!
152. A Blond was concerned, because every man she slept with wanted anal sex
but she never allowed the man to do so.
"This may sound silly,"she said,"but can I get pregnant that way ?"
"It's not silly at all," the doctor replied," let me see your asshole".
Then the blonde slipped her flimsy little panties and bent down in
front of him. The doctor then fucked up her asshole and said after they
were finished,"Let's see tomorrow. If your EPT test is negative,
come and see me again". Then the blonde came back tomorrow morning
and the doctor did the same thing. Again and again
153. The blonde complained to her vet that her dog would start humping her
every time he came into the house.
"Is there anything you can do?" she asked.
"Well," the doctor answered, "we could cut his balls off, and then he
would no longer have a sex drive."
"Gee," the woman replied, "that seems awfully harsh. Couldn't you just
clip his nails and do something about his breath?"
154. Q: What do you call a man between two blondes?
A: Lucky!
155. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is dating someone?
A: She has a belt-buckle imprint on her forhead.
156. The young blonde bride made her first appointment with
a gynecologist and told him of her and her husband's
wish to start a family. "We've been trying for months
now, and I can't seem to get pregnant" she confessed
miserably. "I'm sure we'll solve the problem" the Doctor
states, "please remove your all clothing and get on the
examination table." "Well, all right Doctor" agreed the
blushing Blonde, "But I'd rather have my husband's baby!"
157. Q: Why did the Blonde take a large group of friends to the
movies with her?
A: It said in the Movie Ad that under 17 were not admitted!
158. Q: How do you know if a Blonde is having her period?
A: She can't find her pencil and her Tampon is behind her ear!
159. Q: What do blondes and fire engines have in common?
A: They both make a lot of noise to let you know when
they are coming!
160. Q: Why are blondes stealing police cars?
A: They see the 911 on the side and think it's a Porsche!
161. Q: What do you call 4 blondes at the bottom of a swimming pool?
A: An air pocket!
162. Q: What did the blonde get on her IQ test?
A: Nail Polish!
163. Q: What did the blonde say to the flight attendent?
A: "Please tell the pilot not to fly faster than sound.
My friend and I want to talk during the flight!"
164. After a wild freeway chase, the motorcycle cop waved the
speeding sports car over to the curb. When he walked up
to the drivers window, he was surprised to find a very
attractive blonde behind the wheel. "Ma'am," he said.
"I'm afraid we're going to have to give you a Breathalyzer
test to see whether or not you've been drinking." The test
was taken and as the officer eyed the results, he said,
"lady, you've had a couple of stiff ones." "That's amazing!"
the blonde cried. "You mean it shows that, too?"
165. Q: What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
A: Last year's winner of hide and go seek.
166. A guy took a blonde out on a date. Earlier that day
a cop told him to check his turn signal. Remembering
that and the dumb obediency of the blonde, he told her
to get out and tell him if the turn signal was working.
Well, she forgot to wait for him to stop the car, but
after a couple of tumbles and a quick jog she caught up
with him. Finally, she stood behind the car, and again he
asked her to tell him if the turn signals were working.
She Replied, "Yes...No... Yes...No... Yes...No..."
167. Q: What's the difference between Gorby & a blonde?
A: Gorby knows the name of the eight guys who screwed
him while he was on vacation.
168. A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde were talking about
having babies and the Brunette said that you can predict
what the baby was going to be by the way you screwed.
The Redhead said that means that she was going to have a
girl because she was on the bottom. The Brunette said that
she was going to have a boy because she was on top. The
Blonde was starting to look worried. She said "I think
I'm going to have a dog!"
169. Q: How do you know when you get an anonymous post-it-note
from a blonde?
A: It's written on the sticky side.
170. Q: What goes, Vroom Screech, Vroom Screech, Vroom Screech?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
171. Q: What is a blonde doing when she is bending over?
A: Applying for a job!
172. Q: How are blondes and HARLEY DAVIDSONS alike?
A: After you ride them for twenty minutes they both
start to drip!
173. Q: Why aren't blondes pharmacists?
A: They can't fit the bottles in the typewriter to
type the labels.
174. Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She loved men!
175. Q: Do you know what the blonde does when she is finished
sucking cock?
A: She spits out the feathers!
176. Q: Did you hear about the blonde that started an abortion
clinic for blondes?
A: Yeah - it's got a one year waiting list!
177. Q: What is the definition of a blonde lesbian?
A: Just another woman trying to do a mans job!
178. Q: What did the blonde say as the sod truck passed her?
A: When I'm rich, I'm gonna have my lawn sent out to
be mowed too.
179. Q: Why don't blondes like Kool-Aid?
A: They can't fit two quarts of water into the little package!
180. Q: What do you call a pimple on a blonde's butt?
A: A brain tumor.
181. Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: A WHINE cellar.
182. Q: What does a smart blonde and a dinosaur have in common?
A: They are both extinct.
183. Q: What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tight over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
184. Q1: What do you call a bunch of blondes laying on the ground?
Q2: What do you call 25 blondes on top of each other?
A: An air mattress!
185. Q: What do blondes find hard about eating vegetables?
A: Getting them back in their wheelchairs.
186. Q: Why did the blonde drive around the block 14 times?
A: Her blinker was stuck.
187. Q: Why couldn't the blonde make ice cubes?
A: She didn't have the recipe.
188. Q: Why did the blonde get kicked out of driver's ed?
A: They couldn't get her to sit up in the seat!
189. A blonde and a brunette went to the movies together. A while
after the lights went out the blonde leaned over and said,
"The man next to me is masturbating." "Thats disgusting."
said the brunette. "Lets get out of here." "I can't," the
blonde replied. "He's using MY hand."
190. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a tree?
A: The tree knows when it's being cut down.
191. Q: What do you call an intelligent blonde?
A: A golden retreiver!
192. Q: What happened to the Blonde who went fishing with the Guys?
A: She came back home with a red snapper.
193. Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and an onion?
A: A piece of pussy that brings tears to your eyes.
194. Q: What is a blonde's favorite child's rhyme?
A: Hump Me, Dump Me!
195. Two blondes were talking about their sex lives. One blonde
turns to the other and says, "Do you and your husband have
mutual orgasms?" "No," answers her blonde friend, "We have
State Farm."
196. Did you hear about the Blonde who thought a sanitary belt
was a drink from a clean shot glass?
197. Q: Why did the man trade in his Blonde wife for a garbage can?
A: Because the garbage can had a smaller opening and it
smelled better.
198. Did you hear about the Blonde's little boy who, while
passing his parent's bedroom in the middle of the night,
stared in and and said, "And you have the nerve to slap
me for sucking my thumb?"
199. Q: What do a spider's web and a blonde have in common?
A: They both end in the undoing of a fly.
200. Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a computer?
A: A fucking know-it-all.
201. A young blonde girl is getting married, so she goes to
her doctor to find out which contraceptive she should
use. After a lengthy discussion with him she decides on
the diaphragm. After two weeks of marriage, the blonde
comes back to the doctor and says she thinks she must be
dying or something. "What seems to be the problem?" asks
the doctor. "Well Doctor, I seem to have this awful
discharge down there," says the blonde. "Are you using
your diaphragm like I told you?" asks the doctor. "Yes
everytime I have intercourse," answers the blonde right
back. "And what kind of jelly are you using?" asks the
Doctor? "Grape," says the Blonde...
202. Q: Did you hear about the blonde kicked out of the pool?
A: She was barred from the pool because the lifeguard
saw her go down for the third time!
203. A blonde goes to the gynecologist. She gets up on the
table and spreads her legs. The doctor looks her over and
can't believe how badly she has taken care of herself.
"When was the last time you had a check-up?" the doctor
asks. Embarrassed, the blonde replies, "Never had a
Czech up yet, but I've had a few Italians, one German,
couple of Swedes..."
-Julia A. Fox
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