72 lines
1.6 KiB
Plaintext
72 lines
1.6 KiB
Plaintext
Subject: Christian Bears?
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(From my grandmother (I'm not sure where she got it):)
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A man is walking in the woods, and suddenly comes upon a large black
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bear. Both freeze for several seconds, and then the bear slowly
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starts shuffling towards the man.
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The man has been reading rec.backcountry, and knows that he must not
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turn and run. Instead, he drops to his knees, and begins to pray
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fervently: "Dear Lord, I entreat thee: please let this bear not be
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hungry. Let him not consume my flesh ..." and so forth.
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Suddenly, the bear also drops to his knees, folding his paws in
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prayer. "Glory be," thinks the man. "A Christian bear. I have been
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saved!"
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Says the bear: "Dear Lord, thank you for this food of which I am about
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to partake."
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--
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Subject: bear bells
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A guy walks into this sporting goods store in Alaska,
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immediately spys a rather haggerd-looking old salt of
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a store clerk sitting by the cash register.
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"Hear ya got a lotta' bears 'round here?"
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"Yep.", answers the clerk.
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"Big bears?"
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"Yep."
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"Mean bears?"
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"Black bears?"
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"Yep."
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"GRIZZLIES???!"
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"Yep."
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"Got any bear bells?"
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"What's dat?"
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"You know, them little dingle-bells ya put
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on yer backpack so bears know yer in
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the perimiter so's they can runs away ..."
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"Yep. Over yonder ..."
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"Great. I'll take one fer black bears, and one fer grizzlies.
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Say, how'd you know if yer in black bear country anyway?"
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"Look fer scatt."
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"Oh. Well, how how'd you know if there's GRIZZLIES????!"
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"Look fer scatt."
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"You just said that!"
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"Yeah. But grizzly scatt's differnt."
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"Well now, just what's IN grizzly scatt that's different?"
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"Bear bells."
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--
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