textfiles/holiday/unixxmas.jok

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AN ELECTRONIC CHRISTMAS/CHANUKAH CARD TO ALL
Lyrics by Evan Leibovitch, code by Beverly Erlebacher
Dedicated to anyone who's left their computers alone
just long enough for them to self-destruct:
(Sung to the tune of something or other...)
On the first day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
A burnt-out V.D.T.
On the second day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the third day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the fourth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the fifth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the sixth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the seventh day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Seven blown partitions;
Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the eighth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Eight gettys dying;
Seven blown partitions;
Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the ninth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Nine floppies frying;
Eight gettys dying;
Seven blown partitions;
Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the tenth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Ten ports a-jamming;
Nine floppies frying;
Eight gettys dying;
Seven blown partitions;
Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the eleventh day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Eleven chips a-smoking;
Ten ports a-jamming;
Nine floppies frying;
Eight gettys dying;
Seven blown partitions;
Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the twelfth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
Twelve boards a-blowing;
Eleven chips a-smoking;
Ten ports a-jamming;
Nine floppies frying;
Eight gettys dying;
Seven blown partitions;
Six bad controllers;
Five core dumps;
Four bad blocks;
Three heads crashed;
Two faulty tapes;
And a burnt-out V.D.T.
On the thirteenth day I started adapting my Nintendo for the VME bus.