textfiles/holiday/unixxmas.jok

AN ELECTRONIC CHRISTMAS/CHANUKAH CARD TO ALL
    Lyrics by Evan Leibovitch, code by Beverly Erlebacher

    Dedicated to anyone who's left their computers alone
    just long enough for them to self-destruct:

    (Sung to the tune of something or other...)


On the first day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
	A burnt-out V.D.T.

On the second day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
	Two faulty tapes;
	And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the third day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
	Three heads crashed;
	Two faulty tapes;
	And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the fourth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
	Four bad blocks;
	Three heads crashed;
	Two faulty tapes;
	And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the fifth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
	Five core dumps;
	Four bad blocks;
	Three heads crashed;
	Two faulty tapes;
	And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the sixth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
	Six bad controllers;
	Five core dumps;
	Four bad blocks;
	Three heads crashed;
	Two faulty tapes;
	And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the seventh day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
	Seven blown partitions;
	Six bad controllers;
	Five core dumps;
	Four bad blocks;
	Three heads crashed;
	Two faulty tapes;
	And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the eighth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
	Eight gettys dying;
	Seven blown partitions;
	Six bad controllers;
	Five core dumps;
	Four bad blocks;
	Three heads crashed;
	Two faulty tapes;
	And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the ninth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
	Nine floppies frying;
	Eight gettys dying;
	Seven blown partitions;
	Six bad controllers;
	Five core dumps;
	Four bad blocks;
	Three heads crashed;
	Two faulty tapes;
	And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the tenth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
	Ten ports a-jamming;
	Nine floppies frying;
	Eight gettys dying;
	Seven blown partitions;
	Six bad controllers;
	Five core dumps;
	Four bad blocks;
	Three heads crashed;
	Two faulty tapes;
	And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the eleventh day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
	Eleven chips a-smoking;
	Ten ports a-jamming;
	Nine floppies frying;
	Eight gettys dying;
	Seven blown partitions;
	Six bad controllers;
	Five core dumps;
	Four bad blocks;
	Three heads crashed;
	Two faulty tapes;
	And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the twelfth day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
	Twelve boards a-blowing;
	Eleven chips a-smoking;
	Ten ports a-jamming;
	Nine floppies frying;
	Eight gettys dying;
	Seven blown partitions;
	Six bad controllers;
	Five core dumps;
	Four bad blocks;
	Three heads crashed;
	Two faulty tapes;
	And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the thirteenth day I started adapting my Nintendo for the VME bus.