textfiles/bbs/r0dent.txt

  ***********************************
  ** A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A R0DENT **
  **  Viewed From: Music City BBs  **
  **  300/1200/2400 Baud, 20 Megs  **
  ** (516)374-3092 24 Hours/7 Days **
  ***********************************


  This is a summary of a typical day in r0dentia and if this is in any way
offensive to you, then please, by all means, feel free at any time during the
listing, to FUCK OFF AND DIE!!!
            ==== === === ======


-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

[Monday, 5:30 am]

  An alarm clock goes off and Johnny is getting out of bed.  The first thing 
he does is go over to his brand new apple computer that he got for Christmas.  
It came with a deluxe Networker modem, a disk drive, even a color monitor!  He 
is going over to see if any rad piratez called his board during the night.

"DARNIT!", he says...
"Watch your language, young man!", his mother replies, "That is no way for a
twelve year old to talk!"
"Sorry, mommy", he calls back.

  Johnny then hits 'G' on his copy of Gbbs 1.7d and he logs on to his board,
The Data Realm...

[A similation of Johnny logging on]
 
W
e
L
c
0
m
E
 
T0:
 
 
T!
h!
e!
 !
D!
a!
t!
a!
 !
R!
e!
a!
l!
m!
 -
 
** New passw0rdzzzz as 0f t0day!!
 
** We R w0rking 0n all 0f the latest
   m0dzzz including spinning kurs0rs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
        L8T0R0N....

          D0ct0r Data
           "J0hnny"
 
LAST NAME
:><::> :> :> :> :> :> :><:<:<:<:<::>
:>DTATA
<:
 
PASSWORD
 
:>X1SYS0P
<:
 
That's
rong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go home, crasher! U R A FAG!!
 
L8T0R0N....
 
  Johnny forgot his password on his own bbs!  What a r0dent!
 
  Now, he gets out his latest version of A.E.  and he decides he's going to 
auto-dial The Safehouse.
  
[Similation of D0CT0R DATA calling]
 
Number ->16127247066
 
(He has a pulse dialing Networker)
 
AE:Dialing aborted...
 
Number ->//
 
 
AE:Dialing:16127247066
 
(Remember, he has a Networker!)
 
  He now gets out a printing of all 94 of his users (not including himself)
and starts reading it, deciding who to call for new warezzzzzzzzzzz 

"No way!  I'm on The Safehouse!!!!!!!!"
 
...connected to access port #2...
 
 
 
PASSWORD (OR 'NEW'):'NEW'
 
INVALID PASSWORD!
 
PASSWORD (OR 'NEW'):
 
BANDIT IS HERE!
 
 
  (The sysop breaks into chat mode wonder ing what the hells going on...)
 
Sysop:Who is this?
 
D0ct0r Data:this is d0ct0r da
ta, who is th   s
????????????????????       
S:This is the sysop...
 
D:oh, what clubzzz r u i
  in?
 
 
  I JUST STARTED A LCLUB.
 
HERE IS A MACRO:
 
KAWL THE DATA REALM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
LEAVE D0CT0R DATA FEEDBACK AND MAYBE
Y0U T00 CAN BE A MEMBER OF THE BEST
CLUB IN THIS AREA CODE, THE DATA THIEVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     SO0 CAKAWL NOW!!
 
LAYTRE....
 
L8T0R0N...
 
D0C

   [The sysop now hangs up on him...]
 
  Johnny goes over and boots up his board The Data Realm....
 
  He sits there watching the screen for 4 hours but no one "kawls" his board.
He then notices that the phone isn't even plugged into the wall and either is
the modem.  So, he plugs them in...  An hour laytre someone calls and they
chat
about the latest "warezzzzzzzz", about girls, and most of all, about SEX!!!
They seem to have this fantasy that they can get any girl they want.
 
  "Time for bed!", his mother calls up to him in his room at aroung 8:30 pm.
  "Ok, mom!", he yells back...
  On the screen he types to the other user:
  "My mom is such a fucking bitch!  She's making me go to bed and she wont buy
me that new hard drive i wanted!  she sez i have to earn the money myself for
a
change!  my parents are both ass holes!  im shure!  they only buy me a
computer, modem, disk drive, and a color monitor, and my own fone line.  so
why
cant they buy me a hard drive?"
 
  [As you can see, most r0dentzzzz have no respect or gratitude for their
parents (z?) at all...]
 
  Some r0dentzz like to use movie charac- ters for their alias'.  They use
such names as "Dirty Harry" or "The Ghost- buster" , etc., etc....
 
R0dentzzz always post on warezz boards.
(God forbid if they didn't!)
 
  They always "kawl" the new boards and try to krash them or even become co-
systems operator of them so they can put a spinning kurs0r in just like the
one
on The <urse!
 
  They either have a Micromodem //e or a Networker.  Sometimes they have a Cat
but never 1200 baud...
 
  They do not know the least thing about computers other than that you can
play
the latest warezzz on them and kawl b0ardzzz.
 
  They are not into girls yet!  (God forbid!)
  They do not know the difference between the number '0' and the letter 'O'.
 
  They do not no the difference between 'ph' and 'f' as you can see in their
vocabulary.
 
  They are lazy and do not like to write whole words.  Therefore, they
abbreviate them into less characters such as:L8R!, or 'R U going 2 trade
warezzz w/ me?'
 
  [Example of a r0dentz vocabulary]
 
L8R.......................SEE YOU LATER
L80R0N....................SAME AS ABOVE
WAREZZZZZZZZZZZ...........NEW SOFTWARE
K-K00L M0DZ...............WELL-DONE
                          BOARD MODIFI-
                          CATIONS
K-BYE.....................OK. GOODBYE.
ONE THOUSAND 200 CLUB.....1200 CLUB
WAREZ THE WAREZ?...
  A r0dent is not found out on Friday or Saturday nights or any night of the
week for that matter.  He does not see girls.  He sees his computer.  That is
all he wants to see.  He sits in front of his computer all day, playing his
new
warezzzz, calling b0ardzzz, or krank kawling other r0dentz.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
  Well, that is a summary of a r0dentz life...  I hope you had as much fun
reading it as I did writing it!
 
L8t0r0n.......
 
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