239 lines
5.9 KiB
Plaintext
239 lines
5.9 KiB
Plaintext
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***********************************
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** A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A R0DENT **
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** Viewed From: Music City BBs **
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** 300/1200/2400 Baud, 20 Megs **
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** (516)374-3092 24 Hours/7 Days **
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***********************************
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This is a summary of a typical day in r0dentia and if this is in any way
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offensive to you, then please, by all means, feel free at any time during the
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listing, to FUCK OFF AND DIE!!!
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==== === === ======
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-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
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[Monday, 5:30 am]
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An alarm clock goes off and Johnny is getting out of bed. The first thing
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he does is go over to his brand new apple computer that he got for Christmas.
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It came with a deluxe Networker modem, a disk drive, even a color monitor! He
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is going over to see if any rad piratez called his board during the night.
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"DARNIT!", he says...
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"Watch your language, young man!", his mother replies, "That is no way for a
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twelve year old to talk!"
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"Sorry, mommy", he calls back.
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Johnny then hits 'G' on his copy of Gbbs 1.7d and he logs on to his board,
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The Data Realm...
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[A similation of Johnny logging on]
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W
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e
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L
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c
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0
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m
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E
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T0:
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T!
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h!
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e!
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!
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D!
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a!
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t!
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a!
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!
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R!
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e!
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a!
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l!
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m!
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-
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** New passw0rdzzzz as 0f t0day!!
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** We R w0rking 0n all 0f the latest
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m0dzzz including spinning kurs0rs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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L8T0R0N....
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D0ct0r Data
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"J0hnny"
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LAST NAME
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:><::> :> :> :> :> :> :><:<:<:<:<::>
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:>DTATA
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<:
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PASSWORD
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:>X1SYS0P
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<:
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That's
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rong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Go home, crasher! U R A FAG!!
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L8T0R0N....
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Johnny forgot his password on his own bbs! What a r0dent!
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Now, he gets out his latest version of A.E. and he decides he's going to
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auto-dial The Safehouse.
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[Similation of D0CT0R DATA calling]
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Number ->16127247066
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(He has a pulse dialing Networker)
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AE:Dialing aborted...
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Number ->//
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AE:Dialing:16127247066
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(Remember, he has a Networker!)
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He now gets out a printing of all 94 of his users (not including himself)
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and starts reading it, deciding who to call for new warezzzzzzzzzzz
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"No way! I'm on The Safehouse!!!!!!!!"
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...connected to access port #2...
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PASSWORD (OR 'NEW'):'NEW'
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INVALID PASSWORD!
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PASSWORD (OR 'NEW'):
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BANDIT IS HERE!
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(The sysop breaks into chat mode wonder ing what the hells going on...)
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Sysop:Who is this?
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D0ct0r Data:this is d0ct0r da
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ta, who is th s
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????????????????????
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S:This is the sysop...
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D:oh, what clubzzz r u i
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in?
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I JUST STARTED A LCLUB.
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HERE IS A MACRO:
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KAWL THE DATA REALM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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LEAVE D0CT0R DATA FEEDBACK AND MAYBE
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Y0U T00 CAN BE A MEMBER OF THE BEST
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CLUB IN THIS AREA CODE, THE DATA THIEVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO0 CAKAWL NOW!!
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LAYTRE....
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L8T0R0N...
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D0C
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[The sysop now hangs up on him...]
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Johnny goes over and boots up his board The Data Realm....
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He sits there watching the screen for 4 hours but no one "kawls" his board.
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He then notices that the phone isn't even plugged into the wall and either is
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the modem. So, he plugs them in... An hour laytre someone calls and they
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chat
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about the latest "warezzzzzzzz", about girls, and most of all, about SEX!!!
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They seem to have this fantasy that they can get any girl they want.
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"Time for bed!", his mother calls up to him in his room at aroung 8:30 pm.
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"Ok, mom!", he yells back...
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On the screen he types to the other user:
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"My mom is such a fucking bitch! She's making me go to bed and she wont buy
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me that new hard drive i wanted! she sez i have to earn the money myself for
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a
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change! my parents are both ass holes! im shure! they only buy me a
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computer, modem, disk drive, and a color monitor, and my own fone line. so
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why
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cant they buy me a hard drive?"
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[As you can see, most r0dentzzzz have no respect or gratitude for their
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parents (z?) at all...]
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Some r0dentzz like to use movie charac- ters for their alias'. They use
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such names as "Dirty Harry" or "The Ghost- buster" , etc., etc....
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R0dentzzz always post on warezz boards.
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(God forbid if they didn't!)
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They always "kawl" the new boards and try to krash them or even become co-
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systems operator of them so they can put a spinning kurs0r in just like the
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one
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on The <urse!
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They either have a Micromodem //e or a Networker. Sometimes they have a Cat
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but never 1200 baud...
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They do not know the least thing about computers other than that you can
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play
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the latest warezzz on them and kawl b0ardzzz.
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They are not into girls yet! (God forbid!)
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They do not know the difference between the number '0' and the letter 'O'.
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They do not no the difference between 'ph' and 'f' as you can see in their
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vocabulary.
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They are lazy and do not like to write whole words. Therefore, they
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abbreviate them into less characters such as:L8R!, or 'R U going 2 trade
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warezzz w/ me?'
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[Example of a r0dentz vocabulary]
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L8R.......................SEE YOU LATER
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L80R0N....................SAME AS ABOVE
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WAREZZZZZZZZZZZ...........NEW SOFTWARE
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K-K00L M0DZ...............WELL-DONE
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BOARD MODIFI-
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CATIONS
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K-BYE.....................OK. GOODBYE.
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ONE THOUSAND 200 CLUB.....1200 CLUB
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WAREZ THE WAREZ?...
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A r0dent is not found out on Friday or Saturday nights or any night of the
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week for that matter. He does not see girls. He sees his computer. That is
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all he wants to see. He sits in front of his computer all day, playing his
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new
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warezzzz, calling b0ardzzz, or krank kawling other r0dentz.
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-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
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Well, that is a summary of a r0dentz life... I hope you had as much fun
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reading it as I did writing it!
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L8t0r0n.......
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======================================
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[-eof-]
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