331 lines
16 KiB
Plaintext
331 lines
16 KiB
Plaintext
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(word processor parameters LM=8, RM=78, TM=2, BM=2)
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Taken from KeelyNet BBS (214) 324-3501
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Sponsored by Vangard Sciences
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PO BOX 1031
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Mesquite, TX 75150
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August 17, 1990
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courtesy of the Parapsychology Forum at 214-368-5474
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--------------------------------------------------------------------
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FROM TELECOMMUNICATIONS TO TELEPSYCHING
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INTIMACY AT A DISTANCE
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by
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Maurice M. Small,Ph.D.
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From a business or practical perspective the advantages of
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electronic mail and real time live telecommunications are obvious
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and clear. Thus for example, it speeds up the flow of information
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and amongst many other things helps to eliminate the game of "phone
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tag" (you are 'out' when I call and I am 'out' when you return my
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call).
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Similarly it allows you to very inexpensively set up an
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electronic conference where geographically separated individuals can
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'meet' and exchange information rapidly and conveniently. Presumably
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the rapid growth of data ( as opposed to voice) communications usage
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of our telephone systems as well as its predicted surpassing of
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voice communications in terms of volume of usage are at least in
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part a result of these perceived advantages.
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Nevertheless there is another side to telecommunication which
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is not specifically business or practically oriented; it is what I
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will call the 'personal' use of telecommunications.
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As with the business use of telecommunications, the personal
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use is varied, probably even more so. It includes but is not limited
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to the flirting between "DREAMYGIRL" and "TALLTEXAN" involving a
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combination of OLM's ( private online messages ) and public real
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time message in the OVER 30 room of QANTUMLINK's PEOPLE CONNECTION (
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PC).
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Similarly there is the somewhat regular private discussions
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between DOCTOR and WINDYCINDY about her divorce on GEnie or there
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is the rather heated thread of messages discussing child support on
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COMPUSERVE's ISSUE SIG - special interest group .
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What is unusual about these examples and an almost unlimited
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number of others is that here are large numbers of varied
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individuals interacting with each other in all the leisurely and
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entertaining ways we would expect them to but in all likelihood very
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few of them have ever laid eyes upon each other.
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Everything is taking place electronically, at a distance.
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Moreover there is a surprising vitality, vigor, openness, and
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Page 1
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sharing of oneself. In our culture such psychological intimacy is
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usually limited to private settings between individuals well known
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to each other. Here the interactions are often public and between
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people who may have just met.
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Using some of my own experiences as a window let us look at
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some of the details of this 'intimacy at a distance'phenomena. I log
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on to CIS (Compuserve) and get a message indicating that I have
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email waiting.
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I read my mail and lo and behold there is a note from a former
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student of mine who I haven't heard from in several <20>ears. His
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message is interesting in several ways. It is nice to hear after
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several years from a former student and friend of the family but
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more to the point, there is a 'magnetism' to his letter not unlike
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the experience I have with good theatre and literature.
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It jumps out at me. I answer his letter with one of my own,
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filling him in on the changes that have happened since our last
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meeting and inviting him to stay in contact. In about two weeks I
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get a very surprising reply. Even more surprising than the openness
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and intimate sharing of the letter is the refreshing absence of any
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differential behavior. This is not a communication between a student
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and his teacher but an intimate sharing between two close friends.
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Intrigued by this I set up a luncheon meeting with my newly
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found friend. Its amazing how much he has matured since we last
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meet. At the luncheon I am disappointed because my former student is
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just that - the deferential behavior is there in full force. Now
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matter how I try the barrier is still there.
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My potential new friend and I are trapped in the web of our
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habitual patterns of interacting. He is my former student, friendly
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but not a friend.
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What has happened?
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Given the characteristics of the telecommunications medium -
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particularly the absence of the typical clues to social class and
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status - we are free to react to each other as equals, individuals
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who can and wish to share the intimate details of our lives. Given
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face to face communication the symbols of our socio-economic and
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cultural status are at least for the present irresistible and we
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default to the old patterns of interacting. There is hope. By
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continuing to share electronically we may yet overcome these
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hurdles.
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Let us peer through another window. I am at a CB party
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sponsored by Compuserve being held at the Sheraton Hotel in
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Merrimack NH.
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CB like the original Citizen Band is the name Compuserve has
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given to its realtime online telecommunications service. Only here
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you have 2 bands of 40 channels each and can reach a national and
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often international audience. In the room are about 30 people
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meeting each other face to face for the first time even though some
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are quite familiar having conversed many times via CB.
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"So you're 'Teleshrink' (my handle)..... You don't look
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Page 2
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anything like I pictured you." Around the room are several computers
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linked to Compuserves's CB, of course.
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People tend to form small groups around each of the computers
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alternating between talking with each other and conversing with
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others not there via the CB - saying hello , inviting people to join
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us, giving them directions, etc. As I watch I notice something
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rather odd.
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One of the conversations on the CB is between two individuals
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that are PRESENT IN THE ROOM. Rather than talk face to face ( they
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could not be more than ten feet apart) they are communicating with
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each other via the electronic telecommunications media.
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How artificial, how sad, how alienated... these people can only
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or prefer to communicate with each other in the restricted stilted
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manner of telecommunication. Here it is, right before my eyes, an
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example of how computers isolate and dehumanize us!
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Then I step back for a moment, look carefully at the
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individuals and begin to realize that things are not what they seem.
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From her appearance, her demeanor, and the way she is dressed it is
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clear that she is an upper middle class suburbanite who later tells
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me in her Kennedyian accent that she is from Boston while he is a
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somewhat overweight taxicab driver from Brooklyn New York, accent
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and all.
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Of course it is awkward for them to talk face to face; their
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backgrounds and socio-economic status are so different. Yet they
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frequently and enjoyably communicate with each other on the CB
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Simulator.
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What's going on ? Telecommunications is inherently democratic.
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We are judged by what we type ( the quality of our ideas ) and not
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the external signs of our wealth or social status.
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It has some of the characteristics of being in direct contact
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with someones' mind unencumbered by the accoutrements of social
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class and status that we so often hide behind. In much the same way
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as we can by writing personal letters or talking with a stranger
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whom we are sure we will never see again we can be open and intimate
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in expressing our innermost feelings.
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The social barriers are lowered yet at the same time we remain
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a 'safe distance apart'. Rather than dehumanizing them the
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telecommunications is enriching their lives with new social
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experiences.
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They get to meet, to share, and to know a variety of
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interesting people that they otherwise would have been unlikely to
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have had the opportunity to interact with. No wonder they enjoy
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telecommunications so much and even in some cases prefer it to face
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to face conversations. So do I, even for some of the most
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psychologically intimate forms of interaction - psychotherapy.
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Below is a raw unedited excerpt from the transcript of the
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third Telepsyching session ( psychotherapy via online realtime
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telecommunications) of a 35 year old male who I had been seeing on a
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face to face office visit basis.
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Page 3
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We seemed to have been getting nowhere fast so I suggested we
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switch. He agreed and as they say "the rest is history". The
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transcript speaks for itself. The intimacy and power of the media
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are obvious.
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Would that all psychotherapy were as productive as this fairly
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typical Telepsyching session. Like Freud's couch this new way of
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doing therapy - this shall we say electronic couch - eliminates the
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distractions associated with face to face communications and let's
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us go directly for the therapeutic gold. And you don't even need a
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notebook, both therapist and patient can easily get a complete
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transcript.
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Have we stumbled onto the royal road to psychotherapy ?
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Possibly. I do know beyond a doubt that for some people in some
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situations Telepsyching is the preferred mode and is extraordinarily
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effective. What a powerful teaching and learning tool it is for
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those wishing to learn the otherwise ephemeral art of psychotherapy.
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What more needs to be said except I would very much appreciate
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your comments and criticisms.
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EXCERPT FROM THE THIRD TELEPSYCHING SESSION WITH 35 YEAR OLD MALE
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THERAPIST:
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Can you describe one or two of the incidents were you really
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wanted to be angry with one or both of your parents and didn't
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dare to?
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PATIENT:
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the tomato juice incident when my Father wanted my to drink
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tomato juice, and I was refusing to because the stuff made me
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sick.. I would spank me ever so often when I wouldn't drink
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it. After a few round my mother intervened, but I was just
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resigned to the situation and not being able to do anything.
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THERAPIST:
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Do you realize in the above you said" I would spank me...".
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Maybe its nothing but could it be that you are identifying with
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your father and now doing the psychological spanking?PATIENT: I
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hadn't realized that I typed that until you pointed it out, but
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yes there have been quite a few things to support the idea. I
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do mentally beat myself a lot.
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THERAPIST:
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Hm... in this incident(s) there also seems to be a blending of
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thought, feelings, and actions.... Your father was forcing you
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to do something that was detestfull to you and you were
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fighting back by resisting... even when he spanked you ... As
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an adult can you see how horrible that situation is?
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PATIENT:
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I don't know if I would use the word horrible to describe it.
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In fact I think that I have a feeling of triumph associated
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with it. After all, I won by not drinking the tomato juice.
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That last observation is new, I've always considered the
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incident as an example of one of my bad experiences.
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Page 4
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THERAPIST:
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Interesting.... in your eyes you won!!! Nevertheless, doesn't
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the idea of forcing a child, or trying to, to do something as
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inconsequential as drinking tomato juice against his will...
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doesn't that strike you as unfair, wrong?
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PATIENT:
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It's certainly something that I would hope I would never catch
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myself doing to my own kid. I don't think it was a nice
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thing to do.
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THERAPIST:
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Okay so as both an adult and a child you at some level
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realized that your father was wrong and you resisted... when
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you did he would spank you... You were punished for asserting
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your rights , your individuality. In addition you were being
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taught what has been called a kind of "LEARNED HELPLESSNESS".
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PATIENT:
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That sounds right, although I don't think I ever consciously
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came to view it that way. In fact it cost me some effort to
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type that last sentence about it not being a nice thing to do.
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I'm just realizing that I still view my Father as infallibly
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right.
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THERAPIST:
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Good... things are starting to come together..... Bear with me
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for a moment more... you resolved this conflict/issue with
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your father by becoming "resigned" to it. Is that just
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another way of saying that as a child thru these and similar
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incidents you learned to fear/dislike/avoid being assertive
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and getting angry when somebody violated your personal
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space... at least getting angry was wrong because you got
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punished for doing so?
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PATIENT:
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I think that was close . I also remember a strong feeling of
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helplessness.
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THERAPIST:
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Fascinating!!!! that fits very well... the "LEARNED
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HELPLESSNESS". As a child you were in fact much more helpless
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and dependent on your parents than you are now as an
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independent adult.....
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--------------------------------------------------------------------
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If you have comments or other information relating to such topics as
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this paper covers, please upload to KeelyNet or send to the Vangard
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Sciences address as listed on the first page. Thank you for your
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consideration, interest and support.
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Jerry W. Decker.........Ron Barker...........Chuck Henderson
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Vangard Sciences/KeelyNet
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--------------------------------------------------------------------
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If we can be of service, you may contact
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Jerry at (214) 324-8741 or Ron at (214) 484-3189
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--------------------------------------------------------------------
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FINIS
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Page 5
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