textfiles/anarchy/SCAMS/scantron.ana
2021-04-15 13:31:59 -05:00

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*********************************
* *
* MASTERING *
* *
* THE *
* *
* S C A N T R O N *
* *
* *
* TYPED BY *
* *
* THE WARHEAD *
* *
* THANX TO *
* *
* IVANHOE *
* *
*********************************
We all know what the scan-tron is, don't we??????
The scan-tron are those bitchy little cards with the little bubbles and
rectangles that our precious teachers expect us to fill in with those #2
pencils. In the past you had some machine zap through the cards only to tell
you that you have failed biology. This meant that mom and dad are gonna take
your computer, telephone, and nights on the town and stuff them in their
closet, (along with their kinky sex toys).
Well, worry no more... A group of brilliant people from the Armed Forces
Pirating Guild have come up with a simple, but workable method to evade those
little red slashes that seem to say "nice try, faggot".
***EXPLANATION***
Scan-tron machines detect right or wrong answers by picking up on led #2
pencil marks.
If nothing has been marked at all in the given space, then your answer will
be marked wrong. However, if there is neither a dark pencil mark nor a blank,
the machine will get a little confused and simply not mark anything. You might
say to yourself, "Well, what about the score printed at the end of the test??",
to which point we respond...
Scan-tron machines assignes a variable to the number of possible points and
the number of problems wrong. Then it subtracts one from the other and prints
the answer at the bottom. The little red marks beside your answers represent
the number wrong, however, if there is no red mark, then there is simply
"nothing wrong" as far as the machine is concerned. And we all know that our
beloved tea- chers pay no attention and leave all the adding to those wonderful
little machines.
***HOW TO AVOID THE RED MARKS***
There are two types of fill sheets one can receive, ones with the circles to
fill in, and ones with the rectangles to fill in.
On the ones with the circles, there is one way to avoid a slash... IF A
CIRCLE IS LIGHTLY SHADED IN, TOO LIGHT FOR THE MACHINE AND TOO DARK FOR THE
TEACHER TO QUESTION, THE MACHINE WILL GET CONFUSED AND SIMPLY LEAVE YOUR ANSWER
BE. Once again, if there is no mark, the machine does not subtract from the
total possible, and the teacher does not notice. Don't get it wrong though,
the computer will mark a circle that has not been filled in at all 'wrong'.
The only trick is to lightly fill it in with the cor- rect tint.
Now for the rectangles...
The same method described for the circles will also work for the rectangle
form, along with another method... This method is, drawing many diagon- al
light lines through the rectangle. However, this method is not recommen- ded
because 'teacher' will probably catch on (some teachers are really stupid
though).
One more note:
Finals are coming. Start practicing!!!
By the way, this method WORKS. It's kept me playing sports and I gotten to
keep my telephone, computer, and social time (ie. fucking my girlfriend).
Ivanhoe and I hope this is beneficial to both you and Harry (ie.your pecker)
***THE WARHEAD***
&
I v a n h o e