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%% The Rumpus Gets Busted %%
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%% Another Chapter In The Rumpus Chronicles from: %%
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%% _The Reflex_ %%
%% An Official_Omnipotent_Incorporated_Production %%
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Introduction:
It all started one day when Rumpus moved from where he lived to a land far
away. He could make no friends so the only thing he could do was bother the
ones that he had left behind. He would do this by calling them across the
country using illegal long-distance-service codes. Then one day a man called
someone that we will just call Amy claiming that her number showed up on his
bill. She (lacking common sense) paid the fifteen dollar bill and called
Rumpus demanding that he send the money. He whined and gave in promising to
send the money. This is his story as unexciting as it may be.
The Nightmare Begins:
The alarm broke the early morning silence as the dawning sun cracked
through the window shades. Rumpus stumbled out of bed and turned off the
alarm. Feeling around for the light switch on the wall he found an electric
outlet instead. This is what is believed to cause the "porcupine phenomenon"
as it is called where Rumpus' hair stands straight up even when wet. Rumpus
walked over to the mirror and rubbed his chins. "Still no stubble," he thought
to himself wondering when puberty was going to hit. Then he took a step back
and started modeling body-builder poses in front of the mirror trying to find
some muscles. His mother walked in and she was impressed. "You've got to hang
up your clothes, Rumpus," she nagged in broken English. "Unh! All right,
Mom!" was the only thing Rumpus could think of saying without getting in
trouble.
After taking a shower and eating his "Wheaties," Rumpus ran back in his
room remembering that he had left his Commodore 64 on all night hacking
long-distance codes. With an ectasy that only Rumpus could know, he turned on
the television to discover his computer had found the fatal code. He copied it
down and ran off to school with books under his arm.
All day long he was trying to make a list of people in his mind that he
could call using his latest code. "I could call all my girlfriends where I
used to live," he plotted to himself. Rumpus was so busy daydreaming that he
didn't notice the changing of six periods from his first-period class. By the
time he realized what was happening, everyone had left for the day. With
excitement building, he ran home and picked up the telephone receiver.
The Telephone Calls:
"Hmmm, first I'll call Jennifer!" he thought with delusions of grandeur
floating around in his mousse-hardened skull.
--RING-- --RING-- "Hello?"
"Hey, Jennifer, this is Rumpus! What's up?"
--CLICK--
"Unh! This code must not be very good..." he pondered. "Oh well, I'll
call Jason, now." He tapped out the code and Agent Macabre's number.
--RING-- --RING-- "Hello?"
"Hey, Jason, this is Rumpus!"
"Oh well, I gotta go sort out my sock drawer. Bye!" --CLICK--
"Hello? Hello? I don't think this code is any good. I'll give it one
more try." With this, he tapped out the numbers for one Amy Somethingorother.
--RING-- --RING-- "Hello?"
"Hi, Amy, this is Rumpus!"
"Oh, hello."
"Do you still love me?" Rumpus prodded trying t
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