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8.6 KiB
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1 line
8.6 KiB
Plaintext
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Following the lead of other supernauts on Paranoia, I decided to keep a
journal of what happened to me the first time I dropped acid.
11-8-95
12:16 A.M.
After much indecision, hand wringing, and mental 'should I, shouldn't
I' games, I decided to dose. I did it in the hallway outside my dorm room.
I was on the way back from the laundry room, having done a favor for my
girlfriend, when I decided, 'fuck it' and dropped. White Blotter, no
design. S and R both said it was good, and they know what they are
talking about.
{Quotes from journal}
'Feeling very excited and nervous, excited because I can't wait to
see what is out there (why does acid take so long to kick in?) and
nervous since I am the only one dropping, and what if I don't *like*
what's out there after all?
'at least it's not cold tonight, N says that the most essential
thing for any hallucinatory experience is a strong pair of boots, a heavy
sweater, and a backpack with water and clean socks. Since he's eaten his
weight in mushrooms, I take his advice and put some things together.
nervousness dissappearing, being replaced by an excited sense of
waiting. I decide to go read FAQ's and trip stories one more time. But
it's like they say, reading about an apple and biting into one are
totally different things.
'I decide to turn the computer on, in case I forget how. {I had
been writing this out by hand}
My mindset-Mild nervousness, very excited about what is to come,
the way
you felt when you were 5 years old and were about to embark on what
seemed like the greatest journey of your life.
12:30 A.M.
I'm trying too hard to feel effects that aren't there yet. Decide to go
check laundry. Put on Pink Floyd. Darkside. T, my girlfriend, is asleep
in bed behind me, as I sit in my chair and scribble like a madman. It
kills me. I light two 18' candles. Still waiting, just waiting.
12:33 A.M.
K came in, and asked me what was going on. I told him I had just dropped
acid. Looking surprised, he told me to get him when it kicked in. {K is
dropping for the first time on Friday.}
12:41 A.M.
Looking at computer screen, became mesmerized by candle reflection.
Perhaps still trying too hard. T's asleep. She needs it. Should be
hitting soon!!!!!!!!!
12:42 A.M.
I am sooo impatient. I want this trip to start, but it's not. (wait...)
12:54 A.M.
Remember T's laundry and see to it. 'us and them' on the cd player.
1:03 A.M.
damn it shoulda kicked in by now. Maybe it was bunk?
1:06 A.M.
Ok...nothing cool has happened yet.
1:11 A.M.
Why am I not feeling anything?
1:17 A.M.
{almost exactly one hour after ingestion}
Realized, after staring at Acid Warp {screen saver} for 6 minutes, that I am
starting to
feel something. Perceptions are definitely askew. I haven't left the
real world, but I feel like I'm being tilted to the plane of reality. I
think I knew too much, read too much, before I took acid. I was full of
so many expectations and desires, that I had created in my mind what it
wold be like, even before I took it. It's like the Zen story about
'emptying your cup'. YOu have to lose all your expectations and
preconceived notions about what it will be like. Well, there is no way to
tell
what it will be like for you. Every individual is different, and so the
reactions to LSD will vary. It's different for everyone.
The world is definitely 'different.' Decide to go check
laundry. Still not dry. Decide to go look for things to do.
1:27 A.M.
Just freaked myself out by staring at my face in the bathroom mirror.
It was pretty scary. My face morphed into a were-wolf leopard thing.
Totally twisted. Then I brought out my mental light saber and stopped
that particular hallucination. All I have to say is, _Star Wars_ relates
to absolutely everything. {more on that later}
T looks so beautiful and peacefully asleep on my bed, she lies
breathing soft and steady and I want her...but she needs to sleep. I
know she needs to sleep so I offer her sleep instead of pleasure. God
how can I say things lik
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