169 lines
9.2 KiB
Plaintext
169 lines
9.2 KiB
Plaintext
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GETTING INTO A R-RATED MOVIE IF YOU'RE UNDER 17
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Intro: In 1968 the MPPA, headed by Jack Valenti started the Code And Rating
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Administration which would rate pictures on sex, violence, swears, nudity and
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intensity. In 1970 any picture depicting sex, whether it was pornography or not
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got an X rating. That has changed. Also the PG rating until 1971 was called
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'M.' There used to a PG rating and then there was a PG 'tag' but then they
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combined the two so that PG and PG tag were just 'some material may not be
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suitable...' Also until recently less than half the theatres really followed the
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rating and didn't let anyone under seventeen. The other theatres didn't really
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care or didn't follow the suggestion. That's what the ratings really are -
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suggestions or guidlines for theatres owners. Now, most theatres, especially
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chain, follow the R-rating. Some do not. Other theatres do some do some of the
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time. In 1970 you would walk into an X rated movie such as CLOCKWORK ORANGE and
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notcause a fuss. Theatre policies have seem to have gotten more strict.
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But still 40-50% of all movies since 1968 have been rated R. No one really
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knows what an R picture might contain, which is a major draw back. They should
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change ratings to inform parents who have little kids. They ratings should be
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more explicit because I don't know why the fuck a picture gets an R - all I know
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is that it's an R. But let's not discuss that. The best way to protest against
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the rating system if you are under 17 is to beat it.So all you guys who feel big
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and are 17 or older, well, i guess you can press the space bar or you can help
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out us "under 17ers" by reading chapter 2.
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1] THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK
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Of course, if you go to the Old Mill, Sunnyvale 6, etc where they have two or
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more theatres, it's very easy to walk into any picture you want once you have
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gotten a ticket. First of all do not walk in an empty theatres if you are
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sneaking in. Ushers sometimes come in. Buy a ticket for a movie which starts
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the same time as the R-Rated thing you're going into. Then 2 minutes before, in
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a full theatre, discreetly leave and just walk in and sit next to an adult for
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extra protection near the front if possible.
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- Some movie theatres are easier to switch theatres than others. Find the one
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you like most and take advantage. The UA 6 is hard because the theatres are in
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a circle.
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- Try to avoid night showings At some theatres there are more ushers. You'll
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just have to find scout the place first and see if it looks cool. If you go to
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a theatre complex, you won't have that many problems with ushers. Matinees on
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the weekends are better. Weekdays maninees are great because almost no one is
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in the theatre so most of the people working there don't pay attention. You
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have to mainly judge the situation and take advantage anytime you can.
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- If you want, go to a favorite theatres of your choice that you hang around
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and each movie you go to, save your ticket stubs [if they don't do those little
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printouts.] Save up a few ticket stubs with the little numbers on it and figure
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out the program schedule for that day.
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2] The Ticket Collecting
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Say you have ticket stubs with the #'s 1,4,and 6 which you got from past
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movies at the theatre. Say the program schedule changed and RAMBO is playing in
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the theatres which produces ticket stub #6. Now you have the correct stub if
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you get any trouble! Sometimes if you go behind the box-office at a six-thater
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complex there is a machine for each ticket # and a sign saying the movie. So
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the ticket seller goes to that box so he gives the right ticket. So if you can
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figure out which movies produce what # ticket you've got it made.
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- Remember - the worst they can do is give you your money back if they decide
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to throw you out, but they will most certainly not do that unless you are rowdy.
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They will just make you go back where you came from. Say you have an adult
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waiting in there - then if you have the right stub go sit next to an adult.
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It's all a matter of keeping cool.
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One time I just walked into Breakfast club and half the theatre was people who
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snuck in and did the same thing. It was pretty funny.
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3] THE "BUY A TUB OF POPCORN" technique
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This technique is a good one and it works almost risk-free. Find and adult
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who is seeing the same movie who looks around 20-30 and is cool. Ask them if
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they will get you into the movie and "be your parent" and you will buy them a
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tub of popcorn. Sometimes you can offer other things, or sometimes they will do
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it for free because they might have tried to get into movies when they were
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under 17 too and will have sympathy. If worse comes to worse and you go to some
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theatres like the fine arts where the managers are bithces and they ask if its
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your REAL parents, say that your parents went of to TANZANIA and that the guy
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that's taking you in is your legal guardian for 1 month while your parents are
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gone. Also if your 13 and you are SEAN ALVES, have the guy that's taking you in
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say that you are 11 so you only have to pay 2.50...
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4] The forged I.d
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At non-AMC, UA or chain owned theatres sometimes ticket-sellers are more
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relaxed. At the AQUARIUS in Palo Alto they don't care how old you are...at the
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PALO ALTO SQUARE it used to be I could go to R-rated stuff but then they changed
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their policy. It's not gonna hurt if you try, so go for it and you might luck
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out. Many theatres which are 'revival houses' don't give a shit what the movie
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is so you could also try there. If they do ask for I.D. however, tell them you
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don't drive. Bitch and make up some excuse like your parents didn't want you to
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get your license until you were 17, or you were in an accident. Remember: A
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14,15,or 16 year old can look old enough if at night. So, since you are 16, and
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you have a drivers license don't show them that, because it says your sixteen!
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Show them something else which you made on your own. Anything that tells your
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birthdate but hike it up a few years. I use a hospital card for I.D. You could
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probably think of millions of way to make it look like a legimate I.D.
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Remember: they can't do anything to you - just play it cool and make up some
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excuse why you didn't drive "A FRIEND DROVE ME" "I HAVE AN EYE HANDICAP" "MY CAR
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BUSTED" etc etc. The ticket sellers don't want to stand around all day arguing
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with you, you say your right, they say your wrong. They'll probably give in.
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5] A last resort - the bitch routine
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If you look 17, and think you can pass it, you have to have a good wit, good
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improvisational skills and be able to make a scene. You must convince, the
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other people in line and the ticket seller that you are old enough. Here is one
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of our trusty "R-rated busters" bitching his way through yet another flick.
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MOVIEGOER: 1 to RAMBO
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TICKETSELLER: I.D. please
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MG: Why do I need I.D.
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TS [mechaniclly]: it's rated r - no one underseventeen admited unless
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accomanied by an adult or guardian.
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MG [looking pissed]: I don't have any I.D. I didn't drive.
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TS: I'm sorry.
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MG [turning around to get other peoples approval]: Well I'm sorry. Look,
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just believe me, I'm seveteen. I DIDNT THINK THIS WOULD HAPPEN! [talking
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fast] I usually don't have problems with this theatre...
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TS: Don't you have a drivers lisense?
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[other people in line are getting pissed]
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MG: [fast] LOOK! MY CAR BROKE DOWN YESTERDAY AND A FRIEND GAVE ME A RIDE IN
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HIS CAR! I DIDN'T BRING MY LICENSE BECAUSE THIS THEATRE USUALLY DOESN'T
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GIVE ME A BAD TIME! DAMMIT! THIS IS REALLY PISSING ME OFF! LET ME SEE THE
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MANAGER.
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[someone from the crowd trys to save your ass "LET 'im in!"]
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TS: OKAYOKAY...just....just...don't you have any other I.D.?
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MG [innocently] : Only my word of honor
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Ticketseller presses the button and a ticket appears
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REMEMBER - this is only a last resort. There are much better ways. I
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recommend sneaking in at cineplex's and the popcorn tub routine at theatres
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where there is only one show. The bitch routine may work and it may not. If
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you can get a forged I.D., look old enough, and make up a good reason for not
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having a drivers lisence that's the ultimate - you might even pass off for
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X-rated movies but that's another story.
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CONCLUSION
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So remember - being under 17 doesn't mean you'll never get to see REVENGE OF
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THE NINJA or PORKY'S IV - protest the r-rating! What the hell do we need
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R-ratings for? Who really knows if in the movie they're just saying 'fuck' one
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to many times or the movie should have been X-rated!? Who knows? Excerise your
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constitutional right to freedom of speech So, take advantage of your creativity.
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Sneak into an R-rated movie. Buy a beer from the 7-11. With good improvisation
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and the right attitude, you could be older than you think!!
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WRITTEN BY: MR MULLINS
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AUGUST 1, 1985
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------------------------------------------------------------
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CALL THE HAUNTED HOUSE AE 1200bd. PW=BLATZ (415) 858-2840
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------------------------------------------------------------
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Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
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