97 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
97 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
|
---------------------------------------
|
|||
|
|
:+=+---------------------+=+:
|
|||
|
|
:+=+-K-MART III-FOR THE: +=+:
|
|||
|
|
:+=+-----UNCRUPULOUS-----+=+:
|
|||
|
|
:+=BY TORQA DUN/DATA GEN.+=+:
|
|||
|
|
:+=+---------------------+=+:
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
He stands atop a lonely hillside, the cold biting at his skin as the chill
|
|||
|
|
wind whips through his hair, setting it off in a menagerie of disarray. He
|
|||
|
|
surveys the scene..the ominous structure ahead of him, forbidding and clammy
|
|||
|
|
steel. With the battle cry of "Remember Split Infinity!" he bounds doen the
|
|||
|
|
hill, over dusk and rock until he stands before the object of his nightmares,
|
|||
|
|
K-Mart. Not wasting any time, he strides to the doors and flings them open
|
|||
|
|
with an air of aristocracy. He is met by a cold blast of stale air as he gapes
|
|||
|
|
in awe at the vast array of "kwalitee" merchandice for the throngs of people to
|
|||
|
|
buy. He laughs inwardly and ignores the youth group leader begging for
|
|||
|
|
contributions at the door. Knowing exactly what he is doing, he heads to the
|
|||
|
|
back of the store. He has used the covented techniques before but now he is
|
|||
|
|
ready to go beyond. He is ready to cause utter havoc. Finding no one manning
|
|||
|
|
the defunct "Pet section" our hero access the "page" fone option and says
|
|||
|
|
"ATTENTION K-MART SHOPPERS..FOR THE NEXT TWO MINUTES, ALL THE MERCHANDISE YOU
|
|||
|
|
CAN CARRY, HAUL, DRAG, OR LIFT TO CHECKOUT IS 80% OFF!" Then vacates the area
|
|||
|
|
and watches the commotion as the throngs of greasers lug refrigerators, tv's,
|
|||
|
|
appliances and even whole kitchen ensembles to checkout in a mad rush to buy as
|
|||
|
|
the K-Mart people run here and there trying to no avail to restore order. With
|
|||
|
|
the general populous caught up in that commotion, he goes to the "toiletries"
|
|||
|
|
department and takes a bottle of "PRELL" from the shelf. He feels a moment of
|
|||
|
|
guilt flash through him but that is swept aside by the years of training he has
|
|||
|
|
had. Opening the bottle he writes "MATT ACKERET DOES IT WITH FIRE HYDRANTS" or
|
|||
|
|
something of the sort. "Oh my!" he thinks, my bottle is 1/2 empty! well,
|
|||
|
|
remeding that, he opens it and proceeds to piss in it and shakes it up,
|
|||
|
|
replaces it on the counter, and does this to 5 more. "That was lucky" he
|
|||
|
|
thinks as he heads to the kwalitee K-Mart TV department. When this place is
|
|||
|
|
devoid of life, he turns the tv's all off and all to different stations, with
|
|||
|
|
volume jacked up to 10 and reatreats. The kwalitee K-Mart compyooter dept.
|
|||
|
|
has more fun for our hero.. the demo's can be easily rigged to give quite a
|
|||
|
|
shock, our valiant vigilante thinks as he unplugs the VIC-20 sitting there and
|
|||
|
|
wets down the plug. He heads off to the Sporting Goods department to find even
|
|||
|
|
more laughs awating him to the dismay of K-Mart employees. Wow! a K-Mart test
|
|||
|
|
finger bowling ball! golly! He then proceeds to bowl over that little old
|
|||
|
|
lady down the aisle (very sneakily, of course) or/and her basket of kwalitee
|
|||
|
|
merchandise. Fishing rods you say?? He strides to the waiting poles (ick!)
|
|||
|
|
and easily attaches the fly at the end to that EVERLAST punching bag over in
|
|||
|
|
the corner. Replacing it in the rack and doing this to twelve others, our hero
|
|||
|
|
has now rigged up the ultimate net-trap for the unsuspecting greaser. Shufflig
|
|||
|
|
off to the foodstuff department our protaganist opens the bags of waiting
|
|||
|
|
goodies and munches down, replacing the half-eaten bag with greatest caution.
|
|||
|
|
Soon the entire shelf is a litter of Dorit-os, Frit-os, Tostit-os, mini
|
|||
|
|
Burrit-os and all the other "o's" you might want.. Lingerie time.. thinks our
|
|||
|
|
anarchistic friend. He trots off to the kwalitee lingerie dept.. Whipping out
|
|||
|
|
his MAGIK-MARKER(C) he makes little smiley-faces over all the crotches (sorry
|
|||
|
|
ladies) of the panties..
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
illustration..
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
* *
|
|||
|
|
_
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
!_____!
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
and a fone number of an arch-enemy...
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Well, it is about time to leave but before he goes he makes one last trip to
|
|||
|
|
the page fone and says "ATTENTION K-MART SHOPPERS, THERE ARE BLUE-LIGHT(YAY)
|
|||
|
|
SPECIALS IN THE KWALITEE K-MART SHOE, BATHROBE, KITCHEN APPLIANCE, TV, STEREO,
|
|||
|
|
LINGERIE, FOODSTUFF, COMPUTER, AND SHAMPOO DEPATMENTS..."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
In the commotion of the greasers runnin g this way and that to get at these
|
|||
|
|
precious items our wonderful guy slips out the back door and into the parking
|
|||
|
|
lot as the TV's go blaring and the guy plugs in the compuer....
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
*** ***** ***** ** **
|
|||
|
|
* * * * * * * * * *
|
|||
|
|
* * * * * * * *** *
|
|||
|
|
* ** * * * * * * *
|
|||
|
|
* * * * * * * * *
|
|||
|
|
* * * * * * * * *
|
|||
|
|
*** ***** ***** * * *
|
|||
|
|
===================================
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
And what does our hereo see but.. a pay fone!
|
|||
|
|
coming next:PRANK CALLING WITH FINESSE.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
THANX:
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
THE DAREDEVIL
|
|||
|
|
--- ---------
|
|||
|
|
THE WARLORD
|
|||
|
|
--- -------
|
|||
|
|
LED ZEPP
|
|||
|
|
--- ----
|
|||
|
|
THE SURGE
|
|||
|
|
--- -----
|
|||
|
|
---------------------------------------
|
|||
|
|
Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
|
|||
|
|
|