58 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
58 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
|||
|
|
How to kill a South Dakota Eel
|
|||
|
|
Donated by: Optomist Prime
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Little Johnny was twelve years old and like other boys his age, rather
|
|||
|
|
curious. He has been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he
|
|||
|
|
wondered how it was done. One day he took his question to his mother who
|
|||
|
|
become rather flustered. Instead of explaining Johnny, she told him to hide
|
|||
|
|
behind the curtains and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
The following morning, Johnny described everything to his mother.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off both of
|
|||
|
|
the lights and he started kissing and hugging her. I figure Sis must be
|
|||
|
|
getting sick, because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so
|
|||
|
|
too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just like a
|
|||
|
|
doctor would expect. He's not as smart as a doctor, because he seemed to have
|
|||
|
|
trouble finding her heart.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started
|
|||
|
|
panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been getting
|
|||
|
|
cold, because he put it under her skirt. About this time, Sis got worse and
|
|||
|
|
began to moan and sigh and skirm around and slide down to the end of the couch.
|
|||
|
|
This is when the fever started. I know it was a fever because Sis told him she
|
|||
|
|
was really hot.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Finally I found out what was making him sick. A big eel had gotten inside of
|
|||
|
|
him somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, ten inches long.
|
|||
|
|
HONEST!!! Anyway, he grabbed in one hand to keep it from getting away. When
|
|||
|
|
Sis saw it, she really got scared. Her eyes got big and her mouth fell open
|
|||
|
|
and she started calling out to god, and stuff like that. Anyway, Sis got brave
|
|||
|
|
and tried to kill the eel by biting his head off. All of a sudden she made a
|
|||
|
|
noise and let the eel go. I guess it bit her back...
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Then she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle
|
|||
|
|
out of his pocket and slipped it over the eels head, to keep it from biting
|
|||
|
|
again.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Sis lay back and spread her legs, so she could get a scissor lock on it and
|
|||
|
|
he helped by laying on top with the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight.
|
|||
|
|
Sis started groaning and squealing, and her boyfriend almost upset the couch.
|
|||
|
|
I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
After a while, they both quit moving and gave a sigh. Her boyfriend got up
|
|||
|
|
and sure enough they had killed the eel. I know it was dead because it just
|
|||
|
|
hung limp and some of its insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were
|
|||
|
|
a little tired from the battle but they went back to courting anyways. He
|
|||
|
|
started hugging and kissing her again, and by golly, the eel wasn't dead. He
|
|||
|
|
jumped straight up and started fighting again. I guess eels are like cats,
|
|||
|
|
they have nine lives or something.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
This time Sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it. After a
|
|||
|
|
35 minute struggle they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead this time
|
|||
|
|
because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel the skin off it and flush it down the
|
|||
|
|
toilet!"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
THE END
|
|||
|
|
|