105 lines
4.1 KiB
Plaintext
105 lines
4.1 KiB
Plaintext
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LIGHT BULB JOKES
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--------------KKH<4B>
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Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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A: Two. (Hint: They are small enough to fit inside).
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Q: How many Polacks does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: Just one, but you need 6000 Russian troops in case he goes
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on strike!
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Q: How many WASP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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A: Silly, WASP's don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Q: How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: Two. One to pour the Tab, and one to phone Daddy.
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Q: How many Marxist's does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Q: How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: 1,000,001. One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization
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to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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A1: None of your damn business!
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A2: 50, 50? Yeah 50, it's in the contract.
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Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: Three, but they're really only one.
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Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.
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Q: How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: That's not funny!!!
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Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
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Q: How many valley girls does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: Manual labor? Gag me with a spoon!
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Q: How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: Three:
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One to write the light bulb removal program,
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One to write the light bulb insertion program, and
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One to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure
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nobody else tries to change the light bulb.
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Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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A: Both of them.
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Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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A: Two. One to change the bulb and one not to change it.
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A: Four. One to change the bulb.
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Q: How many Carl Sagans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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A: Billions and billions.
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Q: How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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A: Two. One to change it and one to write a song about how good the
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old light bulb was.
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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: Two. One to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub
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with brightly colored machine tools.
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Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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A: Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation
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specialist, and one to charge the bill.
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Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: None, the bulb will change itself when its ready.
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Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
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A: You can unscrew a lightbulb.
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Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: Three. One to get the bulb and two to get the phone number to dial
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one of their subordinates to actually change it.
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Q: How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: l00. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001,
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Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which l0% of
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the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank", and
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20% of the definitions are of the form "A........consists of sequences
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of non-blank characters separated by blanks".
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Q: How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Q: How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: Only one, but it takes nine years.
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Q: How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: Only one, but they get three tech reports out of it.
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Q: How many people from New Jersey does it take to change a light bulb?
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A: Three. One to change the light bulb, one to be a witness, and the
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third to shoot the witness.
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Have yourself a good laugh and/or share one with us!
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