textfiles/humor/JOKES/acros.txt

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2021-04-15 11:31:59 -07:00
Finally, a cheat sheet for all those computer jargon terms... ;-)
Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
(MICROSOFT). We produce Defective Operating System (DOS) in the past.
But when we learnt that Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity (APPLE),
we restructured our company. We told our employees Do Expect Cuts (DEC)
and changed our company objective into a Big Attempt to Seize Industry
Control (BASIC).
We realized that using our products, Most Applications Crash, If Not,
The Operating System Hangs (MACINTOSH). So after a World Wide Wait (WWW)
we added Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis (LISP) in the code of
our new operating system. From now onwards our operating system Will
Install Needless Data On Whole System (WINDOWS) and report Meaningless
Indication of Processor Speed (MIPS) to our users. But we felt that it
is ok as the System Can't See It (SCSI). This is because our operating
system runs on a chip which Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect
Understanding of Mathematics (PENTIUM).
However, we did try to make things right by introducing Garbage In
Rubbish Out (GIRO)techniques into newer versions of our operating system but
It Still Does Nothing (ISDN).
In order to recover our development cost, we still market this latest version
of our operating system.
We lied to our customers that the latest operating system has Plug and
Play technology even though we know that our operating system only use
Plug and Pray (PnP) technology. We felt no guilt as we know our
operating system will Obsolete Soon, Too (OS/2). When it happens, we'll
just introduce another new version of our operating system. We know that
most People Can't Memorize Computer Industry
Acronyms (PCMCIA), so we'll just use new acronyms for our old technology
when we market the new operating system.
I never realized there was any problem with this strategy until my son
brought a sound card and the
Plug and Pay (PnP) technology crashed my PC. All my code for the next
operating system is Reduced Into Silly Code (RISC) and now I know I'll
Blame Microsoft (IBM) for it.