41 lines
2.1 KiB
Plaintext
41 lines
2.1 KiB
Plaintext
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Finally, a cheat sheet for all those computer jargon terms... ;-)
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Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
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(MICROSOFT). We produce Defective Operating System (DOS) in the past.
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But when we learnt that Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity (APPLE),
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we restructured our company. We told our employees Do Expect Cuts (DEC)
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and changed our company objective into a Big Attempt to Seize Industry
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Control (BASIC).
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We realized that using our products, Most Applications Crash, If Not,
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The Operating System Hangs (MACINTOSH). So after a World Wide Wait (WWW)
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we added Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis (LISP) in the code of
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our new operating system. From now onwards our operating system Will
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Install Needless Data On Whole System (WINDOWS) and report Meaningless
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Indication of Processor Speed (MIPS) to our users. But we felt that it
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is ok as the System Can't See It (SCSI). This is because our operating
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system runs on a chip which Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect
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Understanding of Mathematics (PENTIUM).
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However, we did try to make things right by introducing Garbage In
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Rubbish Out (GIRO)techniques into newer versions of our operating system but
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It Still Does Nothing (ISDN).
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In order to recover our development cost, we still market this latest version
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of our operating system.
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We lied to our customers that the latest operating system has Plug and
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Play technology even though we know that our operating system only use
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Plug and Pray (PnP) technology. We felt no guilt as we know our
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operating system will Obsolete Soon, Too (OS/2). When it happens, we'll
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just introduce another new version of our operating system. We know that
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most People Can't Memorize Computer Industry
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Acronyms (PCMCIA), so we'll just use new acronyms for our old technology
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when we market the new operating system.
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I never realized there was any problem with this strategy until my son
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brought a sound card and the
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Plug and Pay (PnP) technology crashed my PC. All my code for the next
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operating system is Reduced Into Silly Code (RISC) and now I know I'll
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Blame Microsoft (IBM) for it.
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