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%% The Official_Omnipotent_Universe_Guide %%
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%% The explanation you haven't been waiting for from: %%
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%% _The Reflex_ %%
%% [Member: Omnipotent, Incorporated] %%
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Well, here you finally have it. The official guide to the world of
Omnipotent, Incorporated. The purpose of this file is to create further chaos
and confusion among those that haven't the slightest idea what a Goony-Goo-Goo
Mobile may be or a Ninja_Cycle or what have you. I will try to present this in
a way that is concise, easy to read, and impossible to understand.
The Past:
---------
Perhaps I should tell you a little about Omnipotent (as if you really want
to hear). It's just a little group of people (mostly friends) that have a few
things in common and are out to conquer the universe. We at Omnipotent feel
this will be an easy task once certain things have been taken care of.
Violence, sex, fun, revenge, happiness. These are some of the things we are
out to bring to everyone. So if you can't take a joke, then we'll probably
screw you over. Ahem!
The Present:
------------
As of right now, there are no Official_Omnipotent_Meetings that are held
every week or whatever. They are simply not needed because it is felt that no
matter how much you need organization, it will always fall apart in the end, so
there is no need to organize it in the first place. Grammar and sanity are
counted first. Current list goes something like this: Me and Them. Okay, now
that we have gotten the member list out of the way, we shall continue.
Most of Omnipotent is localized to the Houston, Texas area (713 to the
geeks), although there are chapters of Omnipotent in other areas of the
country. To start a local Official_Omnipotent_Chapter near you, contact your
*** FREE PHONE SEX: (313) 433-3164!!! ***
nearest Official_Omnipotent_Representative. This by no means that adventures
are local jokes. No, we feel that in order to have disorder, you must really
go for the gusto and yank on the bull's balls. This is of course considering
that you have already expired your lease on life and you no longer need it.
Where was I? I think it was at the part of something about aardvarks and
their relative contributions to humanity. Oh well, this will hopefully clear
up [if] any misconceptions about us. (Honestly, we're really nice people.)
The Future:
-----------
There's no telling.
The Definitions:
----------------
Oooooh! It's that part of the file! Yes, here is where you can decipher
what I or any other Official_Omnipotent_Member is saying. The explanations are
for the mentally slow. Braille transcripts are available at the Library of
Congress.
[Note: Everything listed below can have the phrase "Official_Omnipotent_"
placed previous to it in order to get a correct title.]
Goony-Goo-Goo_Mobile: The Official_Omnipotent_Transportation. This is the
automobile belonging to The Uncorruptable. It is used
to transport Official_Omnipotent_Members to and from
school, work, fun, sexual misadventures, whatever. More
on this astonishing automobile can be found in the
upcoming [plug] Omnipotent_Production "The Adventures of
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