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%% ====================================== %%
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%% The Official_Omnipotent_Universe_Guide %%
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%% ====================================== %%
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%% %%
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%% The explanation you haven't been waiting for from: %%
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%% %%
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%% _The Reflex_ %%
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%% [Member: Omnipotent, Incorporated] %%
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%% %%
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Well, here you finally have it. The official guide to the world of
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Omnipotent, Incorporated. The purpose of this file is to create further chaos
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and confusion among those that haven't the slightest idea what a Goony-Goo-Goo
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Mobile may be or a Ninja_Cycle or what have you. I will try to present this in
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a way that is concise, easy to read, and impossible to understand.
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The Past:
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---------
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Perhaps I should tell you a little about Omnipotent (as if you really want
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to hear). It's just a little group of people (mostly friends) that have a few
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things in common and are out to conquer the universe. We at Omnipotent feel
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this will be an easy task once certain things have been taken care of.
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Violence, sex, fun, revenge, happiness. These are some of the things we are
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out to bring to everyone. So if you can't take a joke, then we'll probably
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screw you over. Ahem!
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The Present:
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------------
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As of right now, there are no Official_Omnipotent_Meetings that are held
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every week or whatever. They are simply not needed because it is felt that no
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matter how much you need organization, it will always fall apart in the end, so
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there is no need to organize it in the first place. Grammar and sanity are
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counted first. Current list goes something like this: Me and Them. Okay, now
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that we have gotten the member list out of the way, we shall continue.
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Most of Omnipotent is localized to the Houston, Texas area (713 to the
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geeks), although there are chapters of Omnipotent in other areas of the
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country. To start a local Official_Omnipotent_Chapter near you, contact your
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*** FREE PHONE SEX: (313) 433-3164!!! ***
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nearest Official_Omnipotent_Representative. This by no means that adventures
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are local jokes. No, we feel that in order to have disorder, you must really
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go for the gusto and yank on the bull's balls. This is of course considering
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that you have already expired your lease on life and you no longer need it.
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Where was I? I think it was at the part of something about aardvarks and
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their relative contributions to humanity. Oh well, this will hopefully clear
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up [if] any misconceptions about us. (Honestly, we're really nice people.)
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The Future:
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-----------
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There's no telling.
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The Definitions:
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----------------
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Oooooh! It's that part of the file! Yes, here is where you can decipher
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what I or any other Official_Omnipotent_Member is saying. The explanations are
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for the mentally slow. Braille transcripts are available at the Library of
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Congress.
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[Note: Everything listed below can have the phrase "Official_Omnipotent_"
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placed previous to it in order to get a correct title.]
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Goony-Goo-Goo_Mobile: The Official_Omnipotent_Transportation. This is the
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automobile belonging to The Uncorruptable. It is used
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to transport Official_Omnipotent_Members to and from
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school, work, fun, sexual misadventures, whatever. More
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on this astonishing automobile can be found in the
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upcoming [plug] Omnipotent_Production "The Adventures of
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the Goony-Goo-Goo Mobile." Look for it soon.
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Ninja_Mobile: This is the automobile belonging to The Reflex. It is used for
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various purposes. Most of which have no real value at all and
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just concern trying to fill the sexual desires of certain
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individuals <AHEM!>.
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Goony-Goo-Goo_Cycle: This is the bicycle belonging to The Uncorruptable. Has
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no real value to be mentioned. Just trying to waste
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space.
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Ninja_Cycle: This is the bicycle belonging either to The Reflex or to Agent
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Macabre. The ownership has not yet been determined, but it will
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most likely belong to AM since The Reflex has since scrapped his
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cycle after it was damaged beyond repair trying to transport me
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safely (hah!) to a location of a sexual [mis]adventure. But we
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can't talk about that right now.
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Ninja_Tang: This is the 13-15 year old variety of young girls that are lusted
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after by Agent Macabre and myself. Often looked down upon by The
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Uncorruptable as being too immature. I never consider maturity
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when thinking with my gonads. Usually looked up by Beau (Bo)
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Goltex. I can't figure this out. Why does he want to spell it
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Beau instead of Bo? I guess according to Ed McMahon, "Beau
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Goltex, you could win ten million dollars!" I think this is the
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bill that broke the Mexican's back.
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Angel: Term used to describe the one that a Member is lusting after. This is
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most often used to represent the one known as Yvette. Being an Angel
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means that it is possible to seek out heavenly action. Understand? If
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you have any information on the whereabouts of Yvette, please contact
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me on any of the boards at the end of this file.
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Rumpus: This is in no way connected to Omnipotent, Incorporated except in the
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fact that he is the subject of most of our harassment. Even after
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moving to Chicago, he still doesn't escape it. See "The Rumpus
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Chronicles" for further information pertaining to this freak (not
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"ph") of nature.
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Crowbar: Device used to check Official_Omnipotent_Mail. Used to open the
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stubborn mailboxes that won't let us receive our mail.
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Dog: This would have to be Rats MacKenzie. The only dog to look like a giant
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rat.
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Music: Music that reflects feelings felt among members. Mostly along the
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lines of something classical such as "We Want Some P___y!"
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Sunglasses: Used to be Rumpus_Shades until theft of them occurred.
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File: Something like this.
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Boredom: What I'm running into now as I'm sure you are. So...
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Loose Ends:
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-----------
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This was merely ment to explain some of the things that I have babbled
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about in posts and files of the past. The phrase "Official_Omnipotent_" is
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used to mark a seal of quality and approval from us. Look for it on any file
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to show something that is classy. I'm too tired to go into lengthy
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explanations of much of the above. Some of them will be detailed in future
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files. If you have any questions, you can reach me on the boards at the end of
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this file.
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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(C) 1987 - Official_Omnipotent_Productions
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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The Dark Side of the Moon AE/BBS.................................[408] 245-SPAM
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The Haunted House AE/BBS.........................................[408] 773-1202
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The Works Text-File-Leeching BBS.................................[914] 238-8195
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P.U.D............................................................[313] 433-3164
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^^^ Last and least!
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_______________________________________________________________________________
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