188 lines
9.2 KiB
Plaintext
188 lines
9.2 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
|||
|
|
/----------------------\
|
|||
|
|
| Shadow Stories, Inc. |
|
|||
|
|
| is proud to present |
|
|||
|
|
| |
|
|||
|
|
| "The Robinsons" |
|
|||
|
|
\----------------------/
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
[Voice over: Rod Serling.]
|
|||
|
|
We offer for your perusal the home life of one typical suburban family.
|
|||
|
|
The Robinsons, like many other families, have settled down to watch television
|
|||
|
|
after a leisurely dinner. However, this particular family is about to embark
|
|||
|
|
on an adventure for which it is totally unprepared...
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
[Scene: a typical American family. Not your average American family, because
|
|||
|
|
0.6 children and 0.8 dogs is rather hard on the rugs, but a typical American
|
|||
|
|
family. After a large dinner, they have sat down to watch TV after a tiring
|
|||
|
|
day. The members of the family:
|
|||
|
|
"Dad" -- about 40.
|
|||
|
|
"Mom" -- about 40.
|
|||
|
|
"Betty" -- 12 year old precocious female runt. Note: must have freckles.
|
|||
|
|
"Sam" -- 8 year old precocious male runt. Note: must have freckles. Named
|
|||
|
|
after uncle on the mother's side.
|
|||
|
|
"Sam" -- 3 year old precocious neutered (previously male) dog. Note: must
|
|||
|
|
not have freckles, and must be housebroken. Named after the uncle on the
|
|||
|
|
father's side.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Everybody except Sam is sitting down in the TV room, eating a large bowl
|
|||
|
|
of popcorn. Or rather, eating the popcorn inside the large bowl. Sam comes on,
|
|||
|
|
flicks on the TV as he goes by, and licks Betty on the face as he curls up.]
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
TV (young female voice): "Steel, it wasn't my fault! After I was kidnapped
|
|||
|
|
by those Moonies, you weren't around for me anymore. Burt was there, and
|
|||
|
|
caring, and warm. He didn't have your hangups about crumbs in bed, either."
|
|||
|
|
TV (young male voice): "Marsha, you slut! The Carvingtons are going to buy
|
|||
|
|
out mother's grave for a 7-11 franchise, and all you can dwell on is your
|
|||
|
|
kidnapping! Why, that was two weeks ago!"
|
|||
|
|
TV (explosions): "BOOM! BOOM!"
|
|||
|
|
TV (young male voice): "Get down, Marsha. I'll show those Moonies!"
|
|||
|
|
TV (explosions): "BOOM! BOOM! BANG! CRASH!"
|
|||
|
|
TV (screams): "Eeeeek! Auuuugh!"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
[Fadeout sound of TV. Increase volume of father's voice.]
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Dad: "What the hell is this?"
|
|||
|
|
Mom: (checking TV guide) "It's one of those silly 'Dynasty' shows. Ah,
|
|||
|
|
here it is. 'Empire,' on ABC. Experience the thrills as the Carvingtons,
|
|||
|
|
richest family in Washington, use money and sex to..."
|
|||
|
|
Dad: "Okay, dear, we get the idea. Normal Americans would watch this
|
|||
|
|
trash, but we aren't just an *ordinary* family! We're the Robinsons, and damn
|
|||
|
|
proud of it! Right, kids?"
|
|||
|
|
Betty: "Right!"
|
|||
|
|
Sam: "Right!"
|
|||
|
|
Sam: "Ruff!"
|
|||
|
|
Dad: "Thanks, kids. Sam, get your finger out of your nose. What else is
|
|||
|
|
on, dear?"
|
|||
|
|
Mom: "Oooh, this sounds good. 'Dreyfuss,' on NBC. Experience the thrills
|
|||
|
|
as Ace Spade, the richest and sexiest private detective in Washington,
|
|||
|
|
investigates the Mob... will he bring down the Mob leader, or be brought down
|
|||
|
|
himself?"
|
|||
|
|
Dad: "Wow! Sounds good! Sounds like something we haven't seen before."
|
|||
|
|
Betty: "Ace Spade is so cute!"
|
|||
|
|
Sam: "I'm going to barf."
|
|||
|
|
Sam: "Ruff!"
|
|||
|
|
Dad: "Okay, the majority have it. We'll watch 'Dreyfuss.' Sam, get your
|
|||
|
|
fingers out of your mouth. Where's the controller?"
|
|||
|
|
Mom: "Oh, I just saw it around here..."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Dad and Mom look casually around for the controller, moving aside old TV
|
|||
|
|
guides and paper plates as they search.]
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
TV: (young female voice) "Oh, Burt, why won't you divorce Phyllis? We could
|
|||
|
|
be so happy together, you and I."
|
|||
|
|
TV: (young male voice) "I thought I explained this to you, Darleen.
|
|||
|
|
Phyllis' brother, Burt, is blackmailing me for my participation in a Communist
|
|||
|
|
rally while I was doing undercover work at Berkeley..."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Dad: "Damn, where is that thing?"
|
|||
|
|
Mom: "Let's check under the cushions."
|
|||
|
|
Sam: "'Tis but a flesh wound!"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
[Dad and Mom start disassembling the couch, finding thirteen matchbooks, forty
|
|||
|
|
feet of dental floss, about 48 cents in pocket change, and a number of
|
|||
|
|
unidentifiable objects, only a few of which are actively mobile. However, they
|
|||
|
|
do not find the controller.]
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Dad: "Sam, go check over on the table."
|
|||
|
|
Dad: "Not you, Sam! You, Sam! And get your finger out of your nose."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
[Sam checks the table, finding three comic books that he had forgotten to read
|
|||
|
|
under the day's newspapers, but not finding the controller.]
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
TV: (older female voice) "So, you see, Harold, I'm going to destroy your
|
|||
|
|
petty little empire and bring it down around your ears while you watch.
|
|||
|
|
Nothing can stop me!"
|
|||
|
|
TV: (older male voice) "Gwen, I love you! Why are you doing this to me?
|
|||
|
|
Those three teenagers meant nothing to me!"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
[Betty moves Sam, but doesn't find the controller. Dad looks under the couch,
|
|||
|
|
while Mom checks among the plants.]
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Dad: "Have you seen the controller around here, Betty?"
|
|||
|
|
Betty: "Nope."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
[Betty's subconscious, wringing in Freudian agony, attempts to do an end run
|
|||
|
|
around the conscious mind so it can take control of Betty's tongue and say,
|
|||
|
|
"Well, actually, Frieda and I took it apart to see if there were Japanese
|
|||
|
|
chips in it, because, well, um, you see, we had seen this program, right
|
|||
|
|
before 'A-team,' that said the Japanese were taking over the electronics
|
|||
|
|
industry with their, um, fifth regeneration program, and we said *we* didn't
|
|||
|
|
want the Japanese to take over our controller! Geez! So we took it apart by
|
|||
|
|
cracking it with Sam's water bowl, but Frieda had to go to the bathroom, and
|
|||
|
|
when she stood up, she crunched the chips with her foot, so, of course, well,
|
|||
|
|
um, we had to bury it in the backyard. Well, golly. I didn't know Frieda would
|
|||
|
|
smash it with her foot! It isn't my fault!" Alas, to no avail, for Betty's
|
|||
|
|
conscious, having repressed the entire incident, doesn't remember anything of
|
|||
|
|
the sort, and it blockades Betty's subconscious. This horrendous and intense
|
|||
|
|
internal war is signaled on Betty's face by a slight crinkling of her nose,
|
|||
|
|
and massive marital problems when she's about 30.]
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Mom: "Maybe it's under Betty. Betty, move, would you?"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
[Betty moves, but the controller is not to be found. Sam licks her on the
|
|||
|
|
face.]
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Dad: "Sam, get your tongue off Betty. I've told you before, it's not
|
|||
|
|
sanitary. I thought you had it last, dear."
|
|||
|
|
Mom: "Well, I used it to watch that program just three hours ago..."
|
|||
|
|
Sam: (humming the theme to the "Spuds McKenzie" commercials) "Spuds
|
|||
|
|
McKenzie! He's just one happening dude!"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
TV: "So, Alex Carvington, it's you who has been going around, slandering
|
|||
|
|
me, ensuring that I couldn't do another corporate raid scheme as long as I
|
|||
|
|
live! Say your prayers, Alex! I'm having you committed to a Muldavian insane
|
|||
|
|
asylum for the rest of your life. Or until the series is cancelled. Whatever."
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Dad: "Sam, why don't you turn it to channel 4?"
|
|||
|
|
Sam: "Ruff!"
|
|||
|
|
Dad: "Not you, Sam. You, Sam!"
|
|||
|
|
Sam: (whining) "Oh, dad! Betty never has to do anything! I have to do
|
|||
|
|
everything!"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
[Scene notes: At this point, Sam should look like his subconscious mind,
|
|||
|
|
unbeknownst to anyone, is whipping into action, and starting to investigate
|
|||
|
|
possible statements to best get Sam out of actually getting up and changing
|
|||
|
|
the TV. Sam's expression should appear as if his subconscious has looked at
|
|||
|
|
the possibilities, and decided that it would be best to distract his father. A
|
|||
|
|
crinkled nose is suggested for the perfect effect.]
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Sam: "Where is the controller?"
|
|||
|
|
Dad: (pause) "Well, um, I don't know. Mom's looking for it."
|
|||
|
|
Mom: "Well, I don't know where it is. Look behind you, dear."
|
|||
|
|
Sam: "Gee whiz! Where is the controller?"
|
|||
|
|
Betty: "Come here, Sam! Come here, boy!"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
[Dad turns around, and starts searching a large pile of newspapers for the
|
|||
|
|
controller. Sam's subconscious snickers, and this positive reinforcement of
|
|||
|
|
Sam's id cause Sam to undergo a large number of paternity suits in later
|
|||
|
|
life.]
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Dad: "SAM! I told you never to do that in front of other people! Now, go
|
|||
|
|
wash your finger!"
|
|||
|
|
Dad: "Where is that darn thing? Where did you see it last?"
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
[Closing: dampen the sound of the television set. Voice over: Rod Serling's
|
|||
|
|
voice...]
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
The Robinsons. Your typical American family, unexpectedly finding
|
|||
|
|
themselves in a situation that they had never anticipated. Some say that the
|
|||
|
|
Robinsons are still searching for the controller, still listening to the same
|
|||
|
|
program, doomed to watch the exploits of the Carvingtons for the rest of
|
|||
|
|
eternity. They are unwilling visitors into that gray area of the imagination,
|
|||
|
|
the Twilight Zone.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
[Fade out. Credits.]
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
Copyright (C) 1986 by Shadow Stories, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|||
|
|
the Progressive Underground
|
|||
|
|
Although I haven't ||||||\\ ||| ||| |||||\\ Dissidents
|
|||
|
|
heard from him, ||| )))||| ||| ||| \\\ 3 1 3 - 4 3 3 - 3 1 6 4
|
|||
|
|
maybe this file's ||||||// ||| ||| ||| ))) Running: Citadel v2.17
|
|||
|
|
author would =WANT= you ||| ||| ||| ||| /// About 20 Megs of TextFiles
|
|||
|
|
to call... ||| \\|||// ||||||/ and the SysOp is Mr. Pez.
|
|||
|
|
|