223 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
223 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
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DegPug TextFile Co. Presents...
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/////// Phun With Teachers\\\\\\
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&
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+-+-+-+-+Phun in Theatres+-+-+-+-+
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By Princess Leia
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--------------------------------------------
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Restored by Mr Mullins [no period after Mr.]
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Note: these philes were some how lost in time, lost in space and were
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originally written by Princess Leia. Don't ask me where I got them when, etc.
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- all i know is that i have them and no Anarchy memeber will lay claim to them,
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though the philes do mention Anarchy and VOID. Leia, if you're reading this.
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don't get mad because I was asked to retype in these, so there.
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[all formatting, lower case, mistakes, style, has been restored.]
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--------------------------------------------------------------------
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DEDICATED TO THE JACKAL...
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--------------------------------------------------------------------
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And, so, yes, Anarchy Inc & VOID have another text phile for all of you
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VOID and the Connection
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Present......
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"Phun things to do to YOUR favourite teacher..." written by Princess Leia
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So, you say school is getting you down? Your teacher is being a real b!tch?
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Well, here are just a few phun things I have observed, most of which I have
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done...
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1. You can start as soon as you walk into class. late. When the teacher
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asks for an excuse, you tell her, "I was late because I wanted to miss the first
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half of class." Then sit down. This will drive your teacher more crazy than
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some wonderful lie...
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2. You say your tecaher actually assigned you sentancees? Do you think you
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are too old for them? Well, then ask "May I use some or your scratch paper for
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them?" Most teachers will say, "Well, I guess so..." But, just in case, do not
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wait for a reply. Just walk over there and take the whole stack. Does your
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sentences say something like "I will behave in class"? Well, then, write "I" on
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the first page. Set it aside. Write "will" oin the second page And so on,
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until you finish all of your sentances and/or/ run our of paper and/or your hand
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starts to fall off.
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3. So, now that you're be yelled at, the teacher tells you "Go sit down".
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Well this is the absolute best opportunity to but the teacher. Calmly walk to
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the teacher's chair, sit down, put your feet up on the desk, and lean back. The
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teacher will most likely glare at you and say "get back to your seat!", at which
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point calmly reply, "You just told me to sit down, so I did." Then, start taking
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the rubber bands that are on the desk and flick one at the aforementioned
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teacher. Preferbly hide the referral slips before doing this.
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4. Another real fun trick, which works best with a whole bunch of people, is
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to have a party, without getting the teacher's ok first. Some teachers are so
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dense that you can actually plan this party IN CLASS. Anyways, delegate the day
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of the party, everyone just kicks back and, well, parties...The poor teacher is
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usually so shocked that he/she will not know what to do, and yet another period
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of class time is wasted.
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5. Then, of couse, for those of us unlucky enough to have a "Closed Campus",
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there is the traditional "Cutting of Lunch". A Closed Campus is a dumb idea
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anyways. What on Earth are you going to learn by being at school for lunch?
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Anyways, a group of people (One of them MUST have a car!) simply waits until the
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teacher standing guard is not looking. Everyone then dashes to the parking lot,
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and hops in the car. Then slowly and quietly start the car & then take off!
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The poor teacher will be left there screaming "hey! Get back here!!"
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6. Does your teacher make consistent bad jokes? Well, then rate them! Give
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everyone in the class 10 signe reading from 1-10 and every time the teacher
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cracks a joke, simply hold up the card, rating the teacher. The only thing that
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should get a rating above 3 is if the teacher droms some- thing, staples
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himself, or does some other unintentional funny act. (This was told to me by
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The Gemini Daredevil) A variation of this is to bring in a gong and gong every
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bad joke the teacher makes. I have a science teacher who is very fond of
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joking. And that usually silences him. But only for a moment.
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7. When you are forced to read out loud in English, are you told to "speak
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up"?? Well, when told that, simply *YELL* out the words as loud as humanly
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possible...
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8. Yet antoher phun thing to do is, on cue, everyone drops their books at the
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same time. This really drives the teacher insane. Before entering class, just
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say "OK, at 10:00 exacly, everyone drop their books". And then go for it.
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9. Is your teacher a bit on the old side? Well, this trick takes planning,
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timing, and a good straight face. The plan is to make the teacher think he/ she
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is going deaf. First of all, a student comes up and screams in this teacher's
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ear. Then the room goes silent. Someone raises their hand. The teacher will
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probably call on them. This studnet then starts to ask the question not making
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a sound, but simply moving his mouth. Meahwhile, some of the other students
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begin to have silent conversations, again lip-syching them. If there is a TV in
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the room, turn the volume all the way down & then turn it out. Continue to ask
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lip-synched questions of the teacher. Pretend to yell. By now the teacher will
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by going absolutely mad! Then, at a signal, suddenly everyon shouts as *LOUD*
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as they can. This will so shock the teacher that he will be out of it for the
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next week.
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10. Ah, yes, but now we come to my final and most phun trick to play! You
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say your teacher has left the room? And left the keys in the room? Well,
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everyone picks up their stuff and leaves. The lights are turned off and the
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door is *LOCKED*. The students then vanish, go visit friends, cut class
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completely, or hang around to watch. You will watch the poor helpless teacher
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some striding up, turn the knob and..stop. He will look a bit sheepish as he
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turns the knob harder. Then he will quietly knock on the door. Then he will
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knock lounder. After this being to no avail, he will seek out yet another
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teacher who has the key to the room. Watch his look of surprise when he opens
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the door jubilantly and finds..........nothing!
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...Well, there you have it, 10 ways to drive teachers insane. Thanks to some
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creative Piedmont Hills High and Fremont High students.
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...This has been a Connection Presentation (SUbdivision:VOID department) in
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cooperation with Rebel Alliance Industries...
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...Presented in full by Priness Leia Organa..C)1984 No rights reserved!
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<*> Call the Death Star! New Modz! <*> 408-268-4630
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<*> ..The Twilight Zone... <*> 408-253-2140
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...fare thee well...
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------
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And now...VOID, The Connection, in cooperation with Anarchy, Inc. present...
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------
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"Phun in Movie Theatres!"
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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...Dedicated to the Jackal...
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Ah, so you have decided to suffer through yet another "Phun in..." phile?
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Well, hopefully, this one will be worth your while...
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The first thing you have to do is create a fuss at the ticket counter. I
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don't care how old you are or look; Try to convince the dumb tickellers that you
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are under 12 and can get in for the cheap rate...Usually, they will get tired of
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arguing with you and let you in cheaply.
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Then proceed to the concession stand. By a nice big bowl (?) of popcorn.
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This will prove useful in the future. Oh, yes, when you pay for your popcorn,
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pay in pennies...Also buy a coke with *LOTS* of ice...
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Go to the theatre itself. There are two main places where you can sit &
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create havoc...both of these places will be oultined in the philes to come...
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1. The first place is near the front. Sit in the very middle (crawling over
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people to get there...) and position yourself for action. One of the most ph un
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things to do (Which I'm sure has been done by everyone...) is to throw popcorn
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at ev'ryone...Mundane, but still drives people crazy... Another trick is to get
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up in the middle of the movie, crawl over all the people in your row, and stand
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up in front of the screen. Yell something strange and quickly retire back to
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your place...
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Bring a frisbee along; I have found that the movie house is one of the
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greatest placse to play fristbee with a friend....Just aim for that bald guy in
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the hat...
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Yet another phun trick is to say to your friend in a rather loud voice "gee, I
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lost my $20 bill on the floor...can you help me find it?" Immediatly, ev'ryone
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will begin to hunt for it...
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2. Probably the best place to have phun is in the back. One of the first
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things you can do is the place all the ice of your coke in front of the
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door...watch all the instant ice skaters!
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Play "bounce the popcorn on the bald guy with the hat"...This can be real
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phun...se how high you can make *YOUR* piece of popcorn bounce!
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This one is very phunny (thank God no one has done it to me!)...There is
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*ALWAYS* a couple making out in the back of the theatre...simply bring your
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trusty old flashlight and, at the appropriate moment, shine it at them... An
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even cruller thing to do is bring a flash & flash it at them...they will think
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you have taken a picture of them! (oh, how cruel!!)
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Then there is always the making of strange noises from the back. Moo, grunt,
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or make some other strange noise...the people in the theatre will spend the next
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1/2 hour going batty tring to figure out where it came from...
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3. Other phun places incluse inside the curtains in the back of some
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theatres...if you're lucky, you will catch someone making out back there, if
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not, there are *ALWAYS* lots of phun wires and things to pull & experiment with
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back there...If you're real clever (and mean as hell!), you can hide back
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there...at a real scary memoeny, jump out at the people in the back row of the
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theatre...(Note:I am not responsible for cases brought up as a result of a
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heart attack caused by this...)
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Oh yes, another place where people like to make out is behind the
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big blue garbage bins (Believe it or not!)...Hide in one of the garbage cans,
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and, again at the best moment, hop out & scare the hell out of
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poor couple...
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Note that all of these are non-dstructive phun...If you want the destructive
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stuff, I'll write another phile...
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<*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*>
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..And, so, there you have it...just in time for Dune...hahaha...hee hee...
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Written by Princess Leia in cooperation with VOIDTThe Connection and Anarchy,
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Inc. C)1984...No rights reserved...
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<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
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RESTORATION JANUARY - 1986 by DegPug TextFile Co.
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Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
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