223 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
223 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
DegPug TextFile Co. Presents...
|
||
|
||
/////// Phun With Teachers\\\\\\
|
||
&
|
||
+-+-+-+-+Phun in Theatres+-+-+-+-+
|
||
|
||
By Princess Leia
|
||
--------------------------------------------
|
||
Restored by Mr Mullins [no period after Mr.]
|
||
|
||
|
||
Note: these philes were some how lost in time, lost in space and were
|
||
originally written by Princess Leia. Don't ask me where I got them when, etc.
|
||
- all i know is that i have them and no Anarchy memeber will lay claim to them,
|
||
though the philes do mention Anarchy and VOID. Leia, if you're reading this.
|
||
don't get mad because I was asked to retype in these, so there.
|
||
|
||
[all formatting, lower case, mistakes, style, has been restored.]
|
||
|
||
--------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
DEDICATED TO THE JACKAL...
|
||
--------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
And, so, yes, Anarchy Inc & VOID have another text phile for all of you
|
||
|
||
|
||
VOID and the Connection
|
||
Present......
|
||
|
||
"Phun things to do to YOUR favourite teacher..." written by Princess Leia
|
||
|
||
So, you say school is getting you down? Your teacher is being a real b!tch?
|
||
Well, here are just a few phun things I have observed, most of which I have
|
||
done...
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
1. You can start as soon as you walk into class. late. When the teacher
|
||
asks for an excuse, you tell her, "I was late because I wanted to miss the first
|
||
half of class." Then sit down. This will drive your teacher more crazy than
|
||
some wonderful lie...
|
||
|
||
2. You say your tecaher actually assigned you sentancees? Do you think you
|
||
are too old for them? Well, then ask "May I use some or your scratch paper for
|
||
them?" Most teachers will say, "Well, I guess so..." But, just in case, do not
|
||
wait for a reply. Just walk over there and take the whole stack. Does your
|
||
sentences say something like "I will behave in class"? Well, then, write "I" on
|
||
the first page. Set it aside. Write "will" oin the second page And so on,
|
||
until you finish all of your sentances and/or/ run our of paper and/or your hand
|
||
starts to fall off.
|
||
|
||
3. So, now that you're be yelled at, the teacher tells you "Go sit down".
|
||
Well this is the absolute best opportunity to but the teacher. Calmly walk to
|
||
the teacher's chair, sit down, put your feet up on the desk, and lean back. The
|
||
teacher will most likely glare at you and say "get back to your seat!", at which
|
||
point calmly reply, "You just told me to sit down, so I did." Then, start taking
|
||
the rubber bands that are on the desk and flick one at the aforementioned
|
||
teacher. Preferbly hide the referral slips before doing this.
|
||
|
||
4. Another real fun trick, which works best with a whole bunch of people, is
|
||
to have a party, without getting the teacher's ok first. Some teachers are so
|
||
dense that you can actually plan this party IN CLASS. Anyways, delegate the day
|
||
of the party, everyone just kicks back and, well, parties...The poor teacher is
|
||
usually so shocked that he/she will not know what to do, and yet another period
|
||
of class time is wasted.
|
||
|
||
5. Then, of couse, for those of us unlucky enough to have a "Closed Campus",
|
||
there is the traditional "Cutting of Lunch". A Closed Campus is a dumb idea
|
||
anyways. What on Earth are you going to learn by being at school for lunch?
|
||
Anyways, a group of people (One of them MUST have a car!) simply waits until the
|
||
teacher standing guard is not looking. Everyone then dashes to the parking lot,
|
||
and hops in the car. Then slowly and quietly start the car & then take off!
|
||
The poor teacher will be left there screaming "hey! Get back here!!"
|
||
|
||
6. Does your teacher make consistent bad jokes? Well, then rate them! Give
|
||
everyone in the class 10 signe reading from 1-10 and every time the teacher
|
||
cracks a joke, simply hold up the card, rating the teacher. The only thing that
|
||
should get a rating above 3 is if the teacher droms some- thing, staples
|
||
himself, or does some other unintentional funny act. (This was told to me by
|
||
The Gemini Daredevil) A variation of this is to bring in a gong and gong every
|
||
bad joke the teacher makes. I have a science teacher who is very fond of
|
||
joking. And that usually silences him. But only for a moment.
|
||
|
||
7. When you are forced to read out loud in English, are you told to "speak
|
||
up"?? Well, when told that, simply *YELL* out the words as loud as humanly
|
||
possible...
|
||
|
||
8. Yet antoher phun thing to do is, on cue, everyone drops their books at the
|
||
same time. This really drives the teacher insane. Before entering class, just
|
||
say "OK, at 10:00 exacly, everyone drop their books". And then go for it.
|
||
|
||
9. Is your teacher a bit on the old side? Well, this trick takes planning,
|
||
timing, and a good straight face. The plan is to make the teacher think he/ she
|
||
is going deaf. First of all, a student comes up and screams in this teacher's
|
||
ear. Then the room goes silent. Someone raises their hand. The teacher will
|
||
probably call on them. This studnet then starts to ask the question not making
|
||
a sound, but simply moving his mouth. Meahwhile, some of the other students
|
||
begin to have silent conversations, again lip-syching them. If there is a TV in
|
||
the room, turn the volume all the way down & then turn it out. Continue to ask
|
||
lip-synched questions of the teacher. Pretend to yell. By now the teacher will
|
||
by going absolutely mad! Then, at a signal, suddenly everyon shouts as *LOUD*
|
||
as they can. This will so shock the teacher that he will be out of it for the
|
||
next week.
|
||
|
||
10. Ah, yes, but now we come to my final and most phun trick to play! You
|
||
say your teacher has left the room? And left the keys in the room? Well,
|
||
everyone picks up their stuff and leaves. The lights are turned off and the
|
||
door is *LOCKED*. The students then vanish, go visit friends, cut class
|
||
completely, or hang around to watch. You will watch the poor helpless teacher
|
||
some striding up, turn the knob and..stop. He will look a bit sheepish as he
|
||
turns the knob harder. Then he will quietly knock on the door. Then he will
|
||
knock lounder. After this being to no avail, he will seek out yet another
|
||
teacher who has the key to the room. Watch his look of surprise when he opens
|
||
the door jubilantly and finds..........nothing!
|
||
|
||
...Well, there you have it, 10 ways to drive teachers insane. Thanks to some
|
||
creative Piedmont Hills High and Fremont High students.
|
||
|
||
...This has been a Connection Presentation (SUbdivision:VOID department) in
|
||
cooperation with Rebel Alliance Industries...
|
||
|
||
...Presented in full by Priness Leia Organa..C)1984 No rights reserved!
|
||
|
||
<*> Call the Death Star! New Modz! <*> 408-268-4630
|
||
|
||
<*> ..The Twilight Zone... <*> 408-253-2140
|
||
|
||
...fare thee well...
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
And now...VOID, The Connection, in cooperation with Anarchy, Inc. present...
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
"Phun in Movie Theatres!"
|
||
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
|
||
|
||
...Dedicated to the Jackal...
|
||
|
||
|
||
Ah, so you have decided to suffer through yet another "Phun in..." phile?
|
||
Well, hopefully, this one will be worth your while...
|
||
|
||
The first thing you have to do is create a fuss at the ticket counter. I
|
||
don't care how old you are or look; Try to convince the dumb tickellers that you
|
||
are under 12 and can get in for the cheap rate...Usually, they will get tired of
|
||
arguing with you and let you in cheaply.
|
||
|
||
Then proceed to the concession stand. By a nice big bowl (?) of popcorn.
|
||
This will prove useful in the future. Oh, yes, when you pay for your popcorn,
|
||
pay in pennies...Also buy a coke with *LOTS* of ice...
|
||
|
||
Go to the theatre itself. There are two main places where you can sit &
|
||
create havoc...both of these places will be oultined in the philes to come...
|
||
|
||
1. The first place is near the front. Sit in the very middle (crawling over
|
||
people to get there...) and position yourself for action. One of the most ph un
|
||
things to do (Which I'm sure has been done by everyone...) is to throw popcorn
|
||
at ev'ryone...Mundane, but still drives people crazy... Another trick is to get
|
||
up in the middle of the movie, crawl over all the people in your row, and stand
|
||
up in front of the screen. Yell something strange and quickly retire back to
|
||
your place...
|
||
|
||
Bring a frisbee along; I have found that the movie house is one of the
|
||
greatest placse to play fristbee with a friend....Just aim for that bald guy in
|
||
the hat...
|
||
|
||
Yet another phun trick is to say to your friend in a rather loud voice "gee, I
|
||
lost my $20 bill on the floor...can you help me find it?" Immediatly, ev'ryone
|
||
will begin to hunt for it...
|
||
|
||
|
||
2. Probably the best place to have phun is in the back. One of the first
|
||
things you can do is the place all the ice of your coke in front of the
|
||
door...watch all the instant ice skaters!
|
||
|
||
Play "bounce the popcorn on the bald guy with the hat"...This can be real
|
||
phun...se how high you can make *YOUR* piece of popcorn bounce!
|
||
|
||
This one is very phunny (thank God no one has done it to me!)...There is
|
||
*ALWAYS* a couple making out in the back of the theatre...simply bring your
|
||
trusty old flashlight and, at the appropriate moment, shine it at them... An
|
||
even cruller thing to do is bring a flash & flash it at them...they will think
|
||
you have taken a picture of them! (oh, how cruel!!)
|
||
|
||
Then there is always the making of strange noises from the back. Moo, grunt,
|
||
or make some other strange noise...the people in the theatre will spend the next
|
||
1/2 hour going batty tring to figure out where it came from...
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
3. Other phun places incluse inside the curtains in the back of some
|
||
theatres...if you're lucky, you will catch someone making out back there, if
|
||
not, there are *ALWAYS* lots of phun wires and things to pull & experiment with
|
||
back there...If you're real clever (and mean as hell!), you can hide back
|
||
there...at a real scary memoeny, jump out at the people in the back row of the
|
||
theatre...(Note:I am not responsible for cases brought up as a result of a
|
||
heart attack caused by this...)
|
||
|
||
Oh yes, another place where people like to make out is behind the
|
||
big blue garbage bins (Believe it or not!)...Hide in one of the garbage cans,
|
||
and, again at the best moment, hop out & scare the hell out of
|
||
poor couple...
|
||
|
||
Note that all of these are non-dstructive phun...If you want the destructive
|
||
stuff, I'll write another phile...
|
||
|
||
<*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*>
|
||
|
||
..And, so, there you have it...just in time for Dune...hahaha...hee hee...
|
||
|
||
Written by Princess Leia in cooperation with VOIDTThe Connection and Anarchy,
|
||
Inc. C)1984...No rights reserved...
|
||
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
|
||
|
||
RESTORATION JANUARY - 1986 by DegPug TextFile Co.
|
||
Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
|
||
|