textfiles/anarchy/MISCHIEF/killdog.ana

Direct from Omnicron's Ae ((408)255-7193 pw:PARVO):
The Athiesm Corporation proudly presents...

			 Love Thy Neighbor; Kill His Dog
			 ---- --- --------- ---- --- ---

  Contrary to certain Hindu religious beliefs, there is nothing holy about a
simple dog.  The Vietnamese have the right idea.

  Dog is supposed to be man's best friend.  Well, that man maybe, but not the
neighbors who have to listen to the damned blowing its brains out for every
shadow that moves.  They also like chasing cars, pissing on that plant that you
worked so hard to keep alive during the winter, and rusting the hubcaps of your
new car in a similar manner.  They will not hesitate to crap on your freshly
mowed front lawn.  Or beforehand so that you don't see it until it is too late.
Meaning you either step in it, set something on it or roll the mower through
it.  Ever tried to remove dog shit from the wheels of a lawnmower?

  Well, here are a few serious way to go about eliminating the mutt.

  1) Take a fair sized hunk of meat, but not so big as to be impossible for the
dog to wolf down.  This usually works best on the larger dogs because they are
more readily adapted for swallowing meat with a minimum of chewing.  (we'll
discuss small dogs later) then you take a standard beer bottle, preferably
clear, but if you do the job right, the color of the glass will not make a
difference.  You then take the bottle, find a relatively safe place, put on
your goggles (remember, safety, within common sense, is important because we're
professionals here) grab a hammer and tap the bottle with it.  Not so much as
to smash it to smash it to hell, as you just want to crack it enough to break
out a small piecewithout dispersing broken glass everywhere.  This is easier to
clean up Now get some gloves (surgical are nice because they are not awkward so
you can do delicate work and still be protected if you are careful.  The gloves
do have to fit).  Take the piece of glass and pownd it as close to a powder as
you can get it.  Make sure there are no breezes as you do not want to inhale
any of your "powder".  Sweep it up and put it somewhere safe (little jar with
lid or something.  keep out of reach of small children).

  You will also need a needle and some fine, yet strong, thread and a knife.
Cut off a piece of meat, cut a pocket in the meat.  Make the pocket/cavity as
big as possible and the hole from the outside world to the inside of the pocket
as small as possible.  Now place some of the powder in the pocket, being
careful not to get it on the outside of the piece of meat.  Then thread up the
needle, sew the opening closed, and then run up and down (with the needle)
through the center of the meat so you have something that follows the idea of a
quilt.	You should not have placed any more glass in the meat than the moisture
of the meat will get wet.  i.e.  you do not want any dry powdered glass inside.
Tie the thread off.  All of your stitches and knots should be as tight as the
strength of the thread will alow.

  What you should have now is something that is small enough for a greedy dog
to gulp down without chewing.  The idea of this very effective elimination
method is that in the dogs gastro-intestinal tract the meat will open up and
the glass will be exposed to the inside of the dog.  The glass, like all broken
glass is sharp, and small so it will start cutting and moving through the dog's
body in random directions and the dog's body is defenseless.  The dog will
become quite ill after a time and vomit all over the place.  If the thread that
you used is fine enough and not artificial (i.e.  it's cotton) it should not be
found.	There is no way to reverse the process once the dog has swallowed the
meat, and will die.  The amount of time it takes for the dog to die depends on
how professional a job you did.  The idea is not to hurt the dog, but to kill
it and not just cripple it.

  The problems with this are:  your gloves may not protect you all too well and
you may get incredibly small glass slivers (so be careful), the thread may be
found, and people may get suspicious.  Also it is painful to the dog.


  2) This is better for the small dogs, but will work on large ones too.  You
buy some rat poison with warfrin.  This is a powerful anti coagulant.  This
should be in pellet form.  you also get yourself some meat, a knife, some
thread, a needle, and maybe a rock or two.

  Take very small pieces, make an incision in them and put one pellet in each.
Then use one stitch and close the small piece of meat.	You will have more
pellets than you need (obviously!) so, you may as well use them as rat poison
for around your house (what a weird concept...).  Now, over a period of a
couple days, throw 1 (one) piece of meat at a time, and see that the dog eats
each one before throwing another.  Make sure that no children get a hold of
these.	after the dog is pretty well fed up on these, (maybe 1 day has elapsed
since you fed the last little package) you hit the dog with a small rock.  Not
so much as to hurt it, as all you want to do is bruise it.  Warfrin (like I
said before) is an anti-coagulant, so now, providing the dog has had a
sufficiant dosage (larger dogs need more, so that is why the glass technique is
more effective for them) the dog will bleed to death internally.  You probably
won't have to hit the dog with the rock (which is just to speed up the
process), because it is bound to be tapped by something in the yard at some
time.  The smalles injury will be fatal.


  There are other ways to accomplish killing a dog, but remember we are
professionals.	There is the standard 12 gauge with glass, but that is too
messy.	There is a 22 with the tip of a bullet gouged out with a small amount
of parafin (a waxy lubricant) put in the cone that you gouged out of the tip of
a bullet.  The explosion would be heard as well as the gunshot and that is
messy.	And, my goodness, to fire a gun in the city like that is illegal, after
all.  The problem with standard poisons is that the dog may not take them in
the first place, and in the second, they tend to throw up and get sick before
enough of the poison has been absorbed to be fatal.

  So, that about wraps it up.  Remember, as a professional, it is your duty to
be safty conscious (use common sense), not hurt the dog any more than
necessary, make sure that the dog does in fact die and not have to go through
life crippled, and that no one else is hurt.  Do not be witnessed, don't brag
about what you have done, make sure that you have asked the owner several times
to shut the dog up beforehand, do no get caught, and make sure that you pick
the dog to be assasinated carefully.  It would be a waste if the owner got
another dog that yaps even louder.  Also make sure you hate the dog, and you
can live with yourself after you have done it.	And for Christ sake, follow
through when you have made your decision.

  Please do not kill dogs for sport, and only do this if you were actually
going to kill the dog anyway.  If you have in fact decided to kill the dog,
please use the above methods because they are well thought through.

  For an even more effective kill, do both 1 and 2.  Seperately, because you do
not want glass in with the Warfrin.  Feed the dog the warfrin the day before
the glass, not vice versa.

  Autors note:	I am in no way telling anyone to kill a dog, or implying that
that is the thing to do.  This is only as a last resort, and even so, may not
be a wise idea.  I take no responsibility for the actions people take as a
result of reading this file.  This file has been provided mainly for
information's sake and entertainment.

  Thanks.

  Be looking for the Athiesm Corporation's files on killing cats, and a
reasonable proof that there is in fact no god whatsoever (i.e.	christianity,
catholocism, buddism, etceteraism, etc., will be shot to hell.) coming soon to
finer AEs and Cat-furs near you...

Call Omnicron's AE at:
		  (408)255-7193
			       pw:PARVO
Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open