122 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
122 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
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Creative Ways to Answer
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Your Phone
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Typed By Elric of Imrryr
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Lunatic Labs UnLtd.
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Here is a list of strange or interesting ways to answer the phone. Whether to
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be your own, your roomates, and pay phone or what have you.
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Shhh! Don't talk, just listen! Meet me at the corner of Broad and Main and
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bring the girl.
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Martin's Mutilated Meat Market. Marvin Martin here.
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Don't ever call me again!<click>
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Congratulations! You've just won an all-expensive-paid trip to the Arctic!
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So! You've found me! Well you won't stop me! Tomorrow I unleash Microbe X!
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<click>
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You continue to call? Good! Now I can place the Curse of the Rats on
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you!<click>
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Joe's Morgue. You stab 'em, we slab 'em.
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Secret headquarters of C the Arctic!
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Secret headquarters of Clown for Crime. Bozo speaking.
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You relize, of course, that while you are wasting your time calling peole on
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the phone, millions are starving
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Admit it! You have no idea who I am!
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Calling for help won't do any good! We have taken over your town today, and
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tomorrow we'll take over your world!
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If you don't have a good reason for calling me, I swear I will kill myself!
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Hi! Wanna have sex?
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International Transmutal Conglomeration of Associates. May I help you?
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By calling this number you have triggered a relay that will blow up your phone.
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It's -37! Okay? -37! Sheesh! Some people! <click>
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Adolf Hitler speaking.
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Renfield! I told you never to call me during the daytime! You know how the
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sunlight burns!
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Sorry can't talk right now! This building is about to blow up!
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Help! We're being robbed! I -arrrggghhh...<click>
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This is the year 2054. May we be of assitance?
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This is Madame Olga. I see all and know all. To whom am I speaking?
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Dick is out. Jane is out. Spot is out. This is their answering machine. I am
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in. The beep is in. At the sound of the beep leave your name. At the sound of
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the beep leave your message. <Beep!>
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This is John Potz, worm cultivator
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You?! Well your mother! That's right! Your mother!!!
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Harvey Hathaway, hit man. I hit who you hate. Prices range from $10,000 to
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$50,000.
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This is Fred Farnum speaking to your from the grave.
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Dis is Louis. Whose is youse?
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Hello, you're on the air. May I assit you?
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Hi. If you can tell me how to spell cloaca you will win 2,000!
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Austin Police Department.
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A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z! <Click>
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Hi! Are you calling to buy the parent dissolver or the organic lycanthrope
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pills
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This is Alexander Trumble, and this)yr the Twilight Zone.
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This is Captain Blood, supervillian for hire.
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It's no use! Your call won't get through! We now control the telephone company!
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If you take off your skin it will get very cold outside
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Death here. Hold on, I'll be right with you!
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Hello. This is Walter Masters. I am undoubtedly one of most interesting people
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you are going to run across in your meager life. Why are you calling me?
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wn! Run! The little blue men are coming! Run! Aarrgghh!
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Hang up! Right now! Just hang up!
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Eggs taste terrible when they're not salted properly
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You pervert! Call me again and I'll rip out your small intestines and tie it
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around you scrawny little neck, you geek!
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A LunaLabs Producation...
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Downloaded From YYZ Private
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Hit Any Key...
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