189 lines
8.5 KiB
Plaintext
189 lines
8.5 KiB
Plaintext
"What the fuck happened to the Internet?"
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A rant, by Tokachu
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June 12, 2004
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
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1. Introduction
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2. Text Files
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a) High School Angst
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b) Script kiddie-isms
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3. Web Pages
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4. Instant Messaging
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5. Piracy
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6. Conclusion
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---
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1. Introduction
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In all honesty, I thought the Internet would be better -- MUCH better
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-- than it has become nowadays. Oh, I can see you saying to yourself, high
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speed broadband, file sharing, etc., etc., it's great. I'm sorry. I
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must've mistaken the Internet for a strip mall.
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You don't believe me when I say that the Internet was better? Well,
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don't. Yes, the TECHNOLOGY has gotten better, faster, stronger, and so
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forth, but the people on it, and their intentions, cannot be described in
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words more complicated than a second-grade bully's vocabulary. "Retarded"
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is the word that comes to my mind (since "stupid" simply doesn't cut it).
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But you don't have to take my word. Just look at what I have to say...
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---
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2. Text Files
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Recycling is good for the environment, but it doesn't cut it in the
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barely-surviving text-phile scene of the 21st century. Unfortunately most
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of the text files I see uploaded, apart from carbon copies downloaded from
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Textfiles.com, can be categorized under the following:
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a) High School Angst
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For the most part, life in high school in 2004 is no different
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than life in high school in 1984 (so I'll file all the "HS SUX"
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files under "Carbon Copies" above). The only big difference that I
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can see is that nowadays high schools have very up-to-date computers
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and high-speed Internet access instead of modemless Apple ][e's
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(funny story: my junior high school finally ditched their Apple
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][e's in 2000, a year after I left). Of course with all this great
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new technology that the average person can use, there are limits and
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restrictions. Just like any other high school institution.
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I know of practically EVERY kind of restriction, protection, and
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monitoring tool that high schools use. How? Because I've seen the
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evolution. Originally, everything depended on the client computer
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loading the file-protection software (and the BIOS was password-
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protected, so only the hard drive could be booted from). So of
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course there are lots of text files documenting on how to "disable
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the file protection" (CTRL-ALT-DEL if it's not disabled, or some
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process killer if it is). Instructions on disabling or resetting any
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BIOS protection usually involve opening the computer and removing
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the battery -- only practical if you're dealing in stolen school
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property.
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Today's protections depend on some sort of disk-imaging program
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that resets the contents of the hard drive, no matter what kind of
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changes you thought you made. A warm reboot takes care of that, and
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the computer will probably have some sort of service on it that
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allows it to be rebooted remotely from the high school system
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administrator's office. Along with that service, there is probably a
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"remote view" program that lets the administrator see exactly what
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you see on the screen (similar to RealVNC). Couple that with a very
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attentive administrator looking at a network traffic analyzer, and
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you'll see that your text files will only get you in deep shit, and
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nowhere else. Take my advice and just wait 'til you get home.
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b) Script Kiddie-isms
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All I can say is "wow" when I see one of these loads of human
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feces converted to text format. For the most part, the header
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consists of some gaudy program-generated ASCII art, and the footer
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the "greetz". I always suspected the rappers at Cash Money Records
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had about as much (well, as little) intelligence as script kiddies,
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but I never suspected they were one in the same!
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You can tell if a text file falls under this category by looking
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at the title. If it contains any of these words:
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* AIM/AOL
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* Buffer Overflow
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* Cracking (must be accompanied with "passwords")
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* DoS (not to be confused with DOS)
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* "Free Cellular Phone Calls Without Cloning"
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* Hacking (must be accompanied with "Windows")
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* Hotmail/Yahoo! (usually includes "hacking" or "cracking")
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* Trojan
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* Proxy
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* Virus
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* Windows
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...it's probably a script kiddie talking. Just close the text file,
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and pretend you never saw it. Your brain cells will thank you.
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---
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3. Web Pages
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Yeah, I know. Faster Internet nowadays. But that doesn't give you or
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anyone else on this planet an excuse to fill their site up with 800 KB of
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Flash animations, Java menus, and the obligatory "right-click protect"
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JavaScript snippet. Oh, and shove in the HTML code that only renders at
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all in Internet Explorer 6 (and has some self-centered "IE pwns j00"
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message for anyone not sending money to Redmond). Yep, that's the World
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Wide Web of THE FUTURE!! ("NOT!!" -- Wayne Garth)
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Hey, I've got an idea: SLIM DOWN YOUR WEB SITES! Learn to consider
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other people than yourself when designing it. Don't try to duplicate
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interfaces from the movie "Hackers". Don't insert Java applets on the
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front page. Don't put in Flash animations on the first page, either. A 100
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Mbps connection downloading a 1 MB page is no faster than a 28.8k modem
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downloading a 40K web site.
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And speaking of web browsers, since when did it become common practice
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for businesses to write computer viruses? Oh, you know who you are. The
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people who force me to be barraged with "messages" from people on my buddy
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list telling me to "DOWNLOAD THIS COMPUTER PROGRAM IT IS GOOD!!". What,
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you think people aren't willing to track you down? This goes for all the
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assholes who jam up MY business with people calling me, asking to "clean
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their computer" of your programs (programs that a skilled pirate and crack
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team would have difficulty removing).
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4. Instant Messaging
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Do you remember a time where people would close their IM software when
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they didn't want to be contacted? I do.
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Do you remember a time where people's profiles and message text were
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vanilla black-on-white text? I do.
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Do you remember a time where people would put the word "away" in their
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away message? I do.
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So, let's bring these great memories back, okay?
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5. Piracy
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Like marijuana, piracy on the Internet is the cool thing that all the
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kids are doing. And like marijuana, there are lots of people who Bogart
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stuff, and few who provide back to the community. I blame the parents.
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People on the Internet have been expecting something for nothing for a
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very long time. Free Web space flowed like water not too long ago, and
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thanks to horrific abuses (mostly from the warez community), it died. Now
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setting up a web site with a free provider is like playing Russian
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Roulette with your HTML. Nowadays you've got to PAY for good web hosting
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(it isn't that expensive: at most $100 a year for domain and ample space
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and transfers), but people still expect to get everything they want for
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free.
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So, what better way to get free stuff than with file sharing? After
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all, why go through the trouble of searching through FTP networks, meeting
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quotas (where you had to GIVE in order to RECEIVE), and gaining a
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reputation on IRC channels? Fuck that! Gimme gimme gimme! Is it no wonder
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that video pirates are finding more and more annoying ways to watermark
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their releases? (Watermarking is still very annoying. I avoid it, and so
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should you.) Unfortunately it's gotten SO out of hand that corporations
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have actually decided to become very active in the investigations. And,
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no, buying that copy of KaZaA doesn't give you any legal backing. Sharman
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Networks and the thugs that run it are nowhere past the lameness level of
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script kiddies.
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It's estimated that 75% of traffic on the Internet is the transfer of
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pirated materials, with another 10% being port scans, DoS attacks, and the
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like. With only 15% of the bandwidth left, there isn't too much room for
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INTELLIGENCE.
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---
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6. Conclusion
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There's no conclusion here. Just don't become the assholes that I've
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described. Because if you do, you'll find yourself to be very unpopular in
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both the digital and the real world.
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