94 lines
4.5 KiB
Plaintext
94 lines
4.5 KiB
Plaintext
SUBJECT: AN ALIENABLE RIGHT TO KNOW ABOUT UFOs FILE: UFO3056
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An Alienable Right to Know About UFOs
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Byline: ROGER SIMON
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05/31/92
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THE LOS ANGELES TIMES
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As a public service and because young people are usually too
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small to do me physical harm, I occasionally like to analyze their
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views.
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A few days ago, I received the following letter from Andrew David
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Cole, age 12, who lives in Lutherville, Md.
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"Dear Mr. Simon," he begins. "The most terrifying aspect of the
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UFO phenomenon doesn't come out of the skies. It's not on a wheat
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field in England. It doesn't abduct people for goodness-knows-what
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purpose. It's our own government, as well as those of other
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countries.
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"For many years, the U.S. government has withheld from its
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citizens, or so it seems, at least as much UFO information as it
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has released."
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An articulate young man, I think you will agree. And it made my
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heart swell with pride to discover that our grammar schools are
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teaching our young people to be as dizzy and paranoid as their
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parents.
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Andrew continues: "People present when UFOs have landed and when
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beings emerged from them have been threatened by government agents
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that, if they don't move away and/or if they tell anyone about the
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event, physical harm will come to them."
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Well, now, Andrew, this is where I would like to interrupt you
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for a moment. It is very important to distinguish between fiction
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and fact, especially in our mass media society where the
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distinction is sometimes blurred.
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So remember: UFOs, witches, hobgoblins, Elvis sightings, Murphy
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Brown and Dan Quayle are all fiction. Death, taxes and more
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profiles of Ross Perot are all inevitable facts.
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Got that? OK, let's go on with your letter: "In the 1950s, a UFO
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crashed near an Army base in the Southwest and, nationwide,
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articles were written about it in the newspapers. . . . Once, in
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another desert in the Southwest, a different UFO crashed, and a
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family went to investigate. . . . "
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Let me stop you once again, Andrew. You raise a point about UFOs
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that I have never understood. They are built by superior creatures
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from civilizations far more advanced than our own. They have
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traveled unimaginable distances in order to meet us. So tell me
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this: Why do they pick such goofy places to land?
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Why is it always a "Southwest desert" or some remote stretch of
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tundra near the Arctic Circle or in a swamp in south Georgia? Why
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don't they land in Central Park in New York City? Or on "Donahue"?
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OK, back to Andrew's letter: " . . . a different UFO crashed and
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a family went to investigate. When they got there, they found four
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alien creatures. Two dead, one dying, and the fourth still
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standing, having suffered apparently little damage.
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"The standing alien was taken back to the military headquarters,
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where it lived for a few years before dying of an unknown illness.
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I think out of all the countries in the world, Belgium is the only
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one that makes public all its UFO information."
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Exactly my point, Andrew. Belgium is the world geographic
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equivalent of a swamp in south Georgia. Whoever heard of anything
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important happening in Belgium except the occasional soccer riot or
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the recent disappearance of 250 hectares of downtown Brussels in a
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bright blue flash?
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"We try to live in harmony with other organisms on this planet,"
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the letter continues, "so why not do the same with other planets?
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It's basically the same thing. Humans could openly visit whoever's
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out there, and they could openly visit us. Why is the government
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trying to prevent that?"
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Well, Andrew, I can think of three reasons:
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1. Our economy would be thrown into chaos trying to keep up with
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the exchange rate on Martian pesos.
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2. The Andromeda Nebula might demand one of the two new NFL
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expansion teams.
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3. The crab creatures of Altair Six smell funny.
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There is another possibility, Andrew, perhaps one even a student
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as bright as you did not anticipate: Perhaps that one alien
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creature that survived the crash in the Southwest did not later die
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"of an unknown illness."
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Perhaps that was just a cover story. Perhaps that creature
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escaped, assumed human shape and has lived among us to study our
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ways.
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Perhaps he has the ability to cloud minds and bend us to his
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will. And perhaps he sits in the White House today, confident of
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reelection!
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I can think of no other explanation.
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**********************************************
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* THE U.F.O. BBS - http://www.ufobbs.com/ufo *
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