193 lines
6.3 KiB
Plaintext
193 lines
6.3 KiB
Plaintext
This is a collection of poems inspired by The X-Files. The author is
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Dulcinea. Please e-mail all comments to her.
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'Samantha'--Dulcinea
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Every single night as I dream
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The guilt kicks in for losing you
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I know I could have helped somehow...
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Even though it's been so many years
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I still see you when I close my eyes..
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-helpless
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-scared
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-calling my name
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And I can't do anything
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It's taken over every part of me
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Every other thought...
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Yet sometimes I wonder if it ever happened at all
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Just a run-away imagination
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Maybe you never even existed in the first place...
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But then I wake up from the nightmare and see your picture on the nightstand
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And I know I have to find you
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But by now you must have changed
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What if I pass you on the street one day, not knowing?
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A foot away from what I 've wanted to see most for so long
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And not even noticing
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I wonder if you remember me and blame me for your pain
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It's all right; I do
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Every spare moment of my time
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I'm sorry I failed
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Is the humiliation of believing enough of an apology?
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Having everyone look away because they think I've lost it
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Is that enough penance to bring you back?
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'Starbuck'--Dulcinea
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I remember that one conversation we had so many years ago
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I disappointed you-I'm sorry, father
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I did it because it was what I wanted
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And now I can't even explain it to your face
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I sometimes wonder what you'd think of me now
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All that's happened to my life you didn't see
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My mother says you forgave me for that choice I made
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But I still want to hear it from you
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Even though I know I can't
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It's too late-I missed my chance
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Then I might have missed it again
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He's gone too
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I convinced myself that I knew what you would say
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But now I'm not so sure
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Now that I've gotten used to you being gone
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Beyond this world to somewhere else
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Say hello to everyone up there for me
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If there is a place that you went
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Not just gone into nothing
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All your love, hate, joy, sorrow, memories....gone
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It's getting harder to think sometimes, so I just don't know
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I don't know what to think
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I'd ask for help but there's nothing you can do
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Too late
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But even so, I still wonder:
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Were you proud of me?......
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These are a few more X Files poems....I copyright em now, too...<g>
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'Heat'--an F.Mulder Abduction poem by Dulcinea (copyright 10/17/1994)
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It was cold outside that dark night in Massachusetts
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But it was warm inside
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The thermostat read 70 degrees
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I know; I'll never forget a detail of that night
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Sitting in the living room with....her
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Playing a board game-I was winning when we quit
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Never finished it...nevermind.
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We argued over TV shows-what a waste of time
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But that's what we did
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It was 70 degrees..
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Then something happened to the lights
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I blamed her, and now I'm sure she blames me
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The next thing I felt was a paralyzing chill
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Though the thermostat still read 70 degrees.
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Then I heard her-I HEAR her calling my name
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She was the last one to ever do that
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And of course I let her down
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As she floated away
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Still screaming
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And 'they' told me that she'd be coming back soon
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And when the light faded I just sat there
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Crouched on the floor, shivering
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Though the thermostat read 70 degrees.
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'Glance'--an F.Mulder Separate Cases poem by Dulcinea
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(copyright 10/17/94)
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Walking
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To yet another Rent-A-Car
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To yet another case
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To yet another crime scene
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To yet another scene of other's misery
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To yet another waste of my time
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This isn't what I wanted
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But I'm here anyway
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A wish is now a hobby-was a job
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And now all that I can do
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Is glance behind me
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Looking for something unexplained following behind
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Instead all I see are demeaning glances
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Instead of what I'm really looking for.
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I don't mind the glances-I'm used to it now
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But no longer having a reason for them to glance as I glance behind me
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I miss it when I think about it
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And recall why I let them glance before
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For the truth
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That they can't see
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And I can't find proof of
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Besides in my mind
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And other people's minds..
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I glance behind me to see if she's there
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But she's gone too
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To yet another rent-a-car
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To yet another case
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To yet another autopsy
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To yet another scene of others' misery
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To yet another waste of her time
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Maybe glancing behind her for something unexplained
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And therefore routine.
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'Skepticism'--a D.Scully Early in Series poem by Dulcinea(copyright 10/18/94)
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And let me guess
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To what comes next
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In the story you're telling me
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An alien the colour green?
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And you expect me to believe you?
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No wonder all the others see you
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As 'spooky' and you remain
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A stranger who seems insane
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Looking for something you seem unaware
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That there is no proof that it is there
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No wonder they asked me here
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I understand now why they feared
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You getting out of control
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Not everything-or anything-is unexplained, I'm told
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And I believe-them, not you
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That what you see before you is the truth
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Most likely, and the unexplained is rare
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If, at all, it's ever there
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Why do you believe when you have no proof?
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This foolishness can't be the truth...
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?
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"Insanity?"-a F.M. 'Duane Barry' poem by Dulcinea(copyright 10/21/94)
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It doesn't make sense
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Just like everything else
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Everything that I touch is failed
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Everything I hold dear soon dies
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..or fades away into the nothingness
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That fills my life while there's nothing else
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The blood's not washing off my hands
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The blood of everything I've ever cared for
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And now some of it is fresh
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The blood of another failure of mine
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They always go away
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Ever since I was a child I've failed
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Intertwined with success setting me up
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For the big fall
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Of myself and/or someone else
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I do not want to be without.
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First a sister, then like a sister
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Gone...gone away...
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And so many in between to find,
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To bury
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That scream my name when I try to sleep
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Which I can never do again
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I'll do without somehow
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I've done without so many things, I won't miss it
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I'm doing without them
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And the blood's clouding my vision
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As I beg for someone else to blame
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But I know it's me
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Always has been, why should it change?
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An apology won't bring them back
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And my candle's melted to the end
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I can't hold it much longer anymore for them to come home..
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*************************************************************
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These poems are based on the characters and situations created by Cris
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Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting. Used without
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permission and no infringement intended.
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