892 lines
40 KiB
Plaintext
892 lines
40 KiB
Plaintext
THE UNEXPECTED LEGACY OF UNCLE EDWARD
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Every boy should have a bachelor uncle. He should be
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provided automatically by a caring state, like free dental
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treatment and basic schooling. It should be his pleasure and
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duty to give you unsuitable presents, take you on wild,
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imaginative outings which get you back late for bedtime, and
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answer all those questions which make your parents look shocked
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and change the subject. One of my friends at school had an uncle
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who took him all around the world on a cruise - and another,
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after binding me with a blood-curdling oath of secrecy, told me
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that he often spent weekends with his uncle, and slept in his
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bed; and he described all the illicit and delightful things they
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did together, crucifying my pre-pubertal emotions between shock
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(which I knew I was meant to feel) and jealousy (which
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predominated). Whether any of my other friends who came to each
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new term with tales of uncles' generosity did the same sort of
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things, I never dared ask. I think some of them must have done.
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Certainly those lucky enough to have uncles accorded them a love
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and a trust quite different from that which theyou, but uncles
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took you to Cup Finals and let you steer their cars and got you
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into X films when you were still four years too young. There was
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no question who was the more important. Uncles were adored by
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their nephews, and any boy without one deserved to be regarded
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with pity.
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I had an uncle. I hated him like hell.
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Uncle Edward was my mother's only brother, and about ten
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years older than her. He was long and thin with a red, raw face,
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a nose like a parrot's beak, and a mouth clenched as tightly as
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his heart. Whenever he came to visit us he had a cold - it
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seemed to be a permanent feature of his personality and he used
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to swallow bottles full of pills and potions, in between blowing
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his nose repulsively on a series of evil handkerchiefs which my
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mother then had to boil clean. I remember him as always dressed
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in the same clothes - black jacket, gray waistcoat, and gray
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flannel trousers that flapped forlornly around his spindly legs.
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He 'touched up' his premat irregular black streaks, and his eyes
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watered, and his hands were cold and dead. All in all, he was
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about as affectionate as a mortuary slab. He was, however, a
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brilliant scholar and an internationally recognized authority on
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a variety of abstruse academic subjects, and my mother worshipped
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him with total devotion. What my father thought he never said,
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although as I grew older I discerned an aloofness behind his
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impeccable good manners which told its own story.
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But my father's work often took him away from home, and my
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uncle's whim often brought him to visit us, so I grew up in the
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shadow of his clammy personality. When he was at our house he
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ignored me, and so did my mother. When he was away, my mother
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talked about him constantly. Any small victory I won, any
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discovery I made and took to her, merely prompted yet another
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story of what Uncle Edward had achieved by the time he was my
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age. If I passed an exam, Uncle Edward had passed it higher. If
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I got a good report, Uy was able to surpass him - like when I was
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picked for the school swimming team - it was only to be informed
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that of course Uncle Edward hadn't thought such things important.
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By the time I was 20, I had been told so often that I was
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inferior to him in every way that I had started believing it in
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spite of myself.
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Maybe that feeling of inferiority was the reason I fought
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so hard to be a success: if I couldn't prove to my family that I
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was someone to be reckoned with, at least I could prove it to
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everyone else. The success came hard, but it came. By 26 I was
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assistant manager in a firm that manufactured computer software.
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At 28 I started my own business in the same field. And nine
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years later, I was employing six hundred staff, and taking orders
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from 27 countries. Despite my mother's contention that I was
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simply exploiting the creative ideas of other people - such as my
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Uncle Edward - I felt fairly good about what I had achieved.
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Nevertheless, I won't deny that there wa strong, and there was no
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question of my nerves not being up to the strain. But social
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life and leisure-time became non-existent. At 37 I had no
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friends outside my work, and I hadn't taken a holiday for twelve
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years.
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It was at that point that Uncle Edward finally, brutally and
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irrevocably altered the course of my entire life.
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He died.
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It happened in early September, and on the day of the funeral a
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gray, drizzle day - I picked up my mother in London, and drove
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her to Papworth Everard, the village in Cambridgeshire where he
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had lived so as to be close to the university. We were the only
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family present in the church; indeed, the only family he had, my
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father having long since died. A few academic friends, and some
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neighbors, dutifully attended the service and stood around with
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us for a few moments afterwards before drifting away about their
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more urgent concerns. We went to the crematorium alone. But as
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we emerged from that macabre charade into the gray drizzle, an s
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lawyer. The will was quite simple. Some books and manuscripts
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to his Cambridge college library. The rest of his estate came to
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me.
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"I don't want it!" I protested to my mother.
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"Don't be ridiculous," she snapped. "your Uncle Edward had
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some beautiful things. Beautiful. Lovely furniture. Pictures.
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NOT that you'd appreciate them."
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"What the hell can I do with them? Even if I auction them ..
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"You'll do no such thing! How dare you think of selling them!
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They were precious to your Uncle Edward. Things he cherished.
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Auction indeed! I never heard of such ingratitude. You'll drive
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me to London, then you'll come back here, stay at his house, and
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take a look at your inheritance. And be grateful, if you know
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how!"
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I sighed inwardly - I knew that tone. But she was right. there
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was a lot to be done filling in forms, notifying the various
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bureaucracies, putting the house on the market and so forth, and
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nobody else was going to do it. It would take m this late-
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Victorian junk. For once the business would have to cope without
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me.
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So I ferried her to London, stopped back to pick up a few basic
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supplies, and then drove morosely back to Cambridgeshire. Dusk
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was falling as I parked outside Uncle Edward's dingy little semi
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and let myself in with the key the Yale lawyer had given me.
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My inheritance. It was what I had expected. Heavy, dark
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furniture, bees-waxed and over-ornate. Stolid still-life studies
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in oak frames. Books everywhere, too - I pulled out a few
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drawers at random, and they were all bulging with manuscripts and
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correspondence: it looked like as if my uncle kept every letter
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he had ever received. Bloody old man. It would all have to be
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gone through. I left the bottle of scotch I had brought ready on
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the desk and went upstairs. two bedrooms - my uncle's cold and
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dark and still smelling of old age, and a comparatively civilized
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spare room with a double bed. I threw my overnight bag in there
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and, depresated kitchen to knock up an early supper. The tinned,
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instant chile-con-carne ("the authentic tang of the Great
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Outdoors") did absolutely nothing to raise my spirits. I washed
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up morosely and then, having nothing better to do, took myself
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back to the study and the scotch, switched on the desk light, and
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began the Herculean task of reducing my uncle's chaotic affairs
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to some sort of order.
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I worked through the top two desk drawers, heaping the papers
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into piles of bills, receipts, correspondence and personal
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affairs. The light outside dwindled, the level in the scotch
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bottle got lower, and the dank house seemed to close broodingly
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around me. I promised myself that tomorrow night I'd go to the
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village - perhaps even into Cambridge. Have a decent meal, maybe
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go to the theatre or a concert if there was one on. Something I
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hadn't done in years. With a sigh I started on the third drawer.
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"What are you doing here? Are you a thief?"
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My head jerked up as if I'd been.
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"Sorry," he laughed. "Did I make you jump? I didn't mean to.
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I saw the light on through the window. I knew the professor was
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- you know - dead. I thought it might be a ghost. Or burglars.
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You aren't angry are you?"
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I discovered that my mouth was still open, and closed it.
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"No, I'm not angry. But I'm afraid I'm not a burglar or a
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ghost. How did you get in?"
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"The door was on the latch. you have to give it an extra pull
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to shut it properly, otherwise it sticks."
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"You seem to know a lot about it?"
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He moved easily into the room. How old? 12? 13? I hadn't
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noticed children for so long that I had no idea about guessing
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ages.
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"I've been coming here twice a week for..." - he grimaced -
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"extra tuition. I'm always bottom at school. My ma arranged for
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me to come."
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He spoke with the Cambridge burr - a soft country accent,
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totally different from the metallic whine of the city. His voice
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was alto. Soon, I supposed, it would be starting to head. "I'd
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best be getting back. Ma'll be worried."
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"Stay a few minutes, " I said, surprising myself. The
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emptiness of the house had obviously affected me more than I'd
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realized. "I'll make a cup of tea. I'm afraid there's nothing
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else, except this - " I tapped the bottle of scotch.
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"No, I'd best be going," he repeated. "She's an awful worrier,
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our ma. I only came 'coz I saw the light. I'll pull the door
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for you so's it shuts properly." At the threshold of the room he
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turned. "Will you be here tomorrow?"
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"Yes, and most of the week."
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"P'rhaps I'll come and see you again, then."
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And with that, he was gone. For no reason at all, the house
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seemed even bleaker and more dismal. It was with an unexpected
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pang of loss that I realized I didn't know his name.
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He didn't turn up the next morning. I finished sorting through
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Uncle Edward's desk, burnt seven-eighths of what I'd found in the
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heavy iron fireplace, and at 1:00 walked down to the local pub f
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back with me. And left the door on the latch. Then I started in
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on the chest-of-drawers under the window, which if anything
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contained even older and more confusing documents than the desk
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had done. There were also dozens of loose photos, showing
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blurred groups of middle-aged or elderly academics peering self-
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consciously at the lens. None of them were even labeled.
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He came at 3:00. This time, being near the window, I heard the
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snick of the gate catch, and looked up in time to see him wheel
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his bike in and lock it against the railings. He saw my face and
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waved, grinning - then pushed his way inside as if he knew the
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door would be unlocked, and bounced into the study.
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"Hi," he said. "I told Ma about you. She says you must be one
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of the professor's family. Are you?
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"He was my uncle."
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"Was I cheeky last night? I told Ma I wasn't, but she says she
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bets I was. I'm sorry if you're unhappy about him being dead. Ma
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said I could come help you if I didn't get all, and I'm very glad
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to see you." I grasped my opportunity. "What's your name,
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anyway?"
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"Danny. What's yours?"
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"William."
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"Shouldn't I call you Mr. Something?"
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"What on earth for?"
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He looked at me assessingly, then nodded. "OK. But William's
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boring. Willie?" - He burst into a fit of giggles - "Oh, no, I
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can't call you that, can I? I'll call you Bill. Is there
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anything you want me to help you with?"
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The speed with which he switched subjects was beginning to
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confuse me, so I put him to work clearing out some of the
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cupboards in the hall and stacking what he found on the kitchen
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table. We shouted conversation between us as we worked and by
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the time we stopped for tea, I'd found out he lived on a farm a
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couple of miles outside the village, had a sister he hated and a
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baby brother he adored, and that he had few expectations or
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ambitions beyond leaving school and eventually taking over the
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farm, although he did sometimes think he might be a racing y
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business - especially about how computers are applied to farming,
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which intrigued him a lot. Bottom of his class he may have been,
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but he had a deft grasp for the basic principals and a flair for
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spotting possibilities which were more valuable than any book-
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learning. When we took our break, I told him so. He blushed
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slightly and took a swallow of Coke to hide his embarrassment.
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"Oh, I'm thick. All my teachers say so. That's why Ma sent me
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to the professor. He was really clever. Are you as clever as
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him?"
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I felt the old stab of resentment. "Not in the same ways," I
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said. "Like I told you, there are different ways of being
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clever. Uncle Edward was good at having ideas. I'm good at
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making things work." Then, as he nodded thoughtfully, I asked,
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"Did you like him?"
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"He was all right." He looked at me with innocence as
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transparent as a gossamer. "He used to take me out to the
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pictures sometimes."
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I told myself that this was one thing at which Uncle Edward was
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not going to out-do me. "OK," I said, "I tell you what. You
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come up and help me again tomorrow morning and we'll go tomorrow
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afternoon."
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His face fell. "I can't come in the morning - I've got things
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to do on the farm. Can't I come and work in the afternoon and
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we'll go in the evening?"
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"Sure - but won't your Mum and Dad mind your getting home so
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late?"
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"That's OK," he said. "You can write them a note saying I'm
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going to sleep here. That's what the professor used to do
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whenever he took me. You don't mind, do you?"
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"Don't - don't be ridiculous!" I managed after the third
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attempt. "They've never even met me. How do they know I
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wouldn't - er - "
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"Wouldn't what?"
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"Well...."
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"They won't mind, honest. I've slept away lots of times, don't
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you want me to?"
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"Well, yes - it's just...."
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"Write the letter, then."
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I wrote the letter.
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And after he had taken himself and it off home, I sat in the
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gathering dusk, in communion with the remains of the whiskey,
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astonishingly confronting a gibbering riot of ideas and emotions
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which had suddenly, impossibly, sprouted all over my nice
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uncluttered brain.
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It wasn't so much his confident suggestion that he should spend
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the night - for all I knew, kids did that sort of thing every
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day. It was more the bacchanalia of memories that his casual
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proposal had needled out of my sub-conscious. I hadn't thought
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about boys in a sexual way for nearly 20 years - in fact, I
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suppose I hadn't thought about them at all. Somehow it had been
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expected that after leaving school, one's sexual energies should
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be directed towards women, and I had - conformed, I suppose:
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although it must be admitted without very much enthusiasm, and
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innocent remarks had reached across the years and abruptly
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brought back to me the words of my school friend, describing his
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weekends with his uncle. And brought back too, in a flood, the
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remembrance of the exquisitely intense pleasure I had found at
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school in the beds and the arms of younger boys. God knows why I
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had buried the memories so long. Now they tumbled home to me
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with echoes of breathless laughter and images of soft, warm
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bodies thrusting against each other. And suddenly I realized
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with a shock that the image which stood out above all the others
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was that of Danny himself.
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And hard on the heals of that uncomfortable revelation came the
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inevitable, undodgeable question.
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Had Danny.... and Uncle Edward....?
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No, of course they hadn't. The idea was preposterous. I was
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reading far too much into the boy's innocent remarks. And even
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if he was that sort of kid, he couldn't possibly have been
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attracted to Uncle Edward, with his colds, and clammy hands....
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Could he?
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And Uncle Edward certainly hadn't been that type of man! He'd
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always said his work came before everything.
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Yet Danny had often spent the night here. And Uncle Edward he
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hadn't liked me. Or thought it was too risky.
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As, of course, it was. Far too risky. I wasn't sure what
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happened to men who got caught having relationships with boys,
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but I had an idea that they put them in prison and threw away the
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key.
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And on that salutary reflection I took myself to bed.
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The cause of all my confusion breezed in at noon the next day
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with a self-satisfied grin, a carrier bag of overnight things,
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and a gift of a dozen eggs from his mother. Awareness heightened
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by the unresolved questions ricocheting around inside my skull, I
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found myself watching him while he worked. There was no denying
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his attractiveness. Though he was still small, his body was
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sturdy and compact, and he moved with the easy confidence of one
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who is used to hard work. Laboring on the farm had given him a
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late summer tan, which stretched away inside his open necked
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shirt and showed up bleached, preadolescent down along his
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forearms. his hair was sunbleached too, streake. He wore it
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long and ragged, and had a habit of pushing it brusquely away
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from his eyes which delighted me with its blend of childish
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petulance and adult practicality. His face wasn't beautiful - it
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wasn't delicate enough for that - but the soft line of his jaw
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and the broad, firm mouth gave hints of strength to come. He was
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freckled across the nose and under the eyes, and his skin glowed
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with health. In fact his whole body radiated a clean, outdoor
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energy which cut through the gloom of my uncle's house like a
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shaft of pure summer. Occasionally, as we worked and chatted, he
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would glance up and catch me looking at him: and then his eyes
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sparkled into a grin of something remarkably akin to complicity -
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almost as if he knew what I was thinking....
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And what I was thinking, I finally had to admit, was that Danny
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was certainly the sexiest young animal I had encountered for -
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well, far too long: and that more than anything else just then, I
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wanted to put my arms around him ad myself, was probably enough
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to have me put away for life, besides being selfindulging,
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impractical, corrupt, reckless to a lunatic degree, and liable to
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frighten the horses.
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The day seemed to rush past. We made good progress with Uncle
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Edward's affairs: indeed, by the time we stopped, the worst was
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done. But instead of delighting me as it would have 48 hours
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earlier, I found myself cast into gloom at the thought of
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leaving, and perhaps not seeing Danny again. We had got to know
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each other still better that afternoon, and he had opened up even
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further about himself and his life, nudging past the normal
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bounds of conversation as though trying to shock me, or see how
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far he could trust me, or I wasn't sure what. He told me in
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detail about taking one of his father's mares to be covered at
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the local stud; and a few minutes later informed me that he had
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started masturbating some weeks ago, and did I think it was
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"wrong or anything?" For my part, I found myself making
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excuseying him on ladders, even, once, sitting him up on my
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shoulders to investigate some boxes on top of a cupboard. His
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skin was warm and silky, and I could feel the soft flow of muscle
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under the thin material of his shirt. Lowering him to the floor
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again when the jobs were finished, and stepping away from him, I
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needed all the will power I could muster.
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Question as I would, however, I could not discover what kind of
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relationship Danny had with my uncle. The possibility that here,
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as in everything else, Uncle Edward had achieved what I could
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not, scarified me with jealousy. The alternative - that Danny
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was as naive as he pretended - was safe but infinitely
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frustrating. Merely looking at the boy made me so hard that I
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was certain he would eventually notice it.
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At 6:00 we gave up the work, washed, and transferred to my
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Jaguar Convertible. It was still warm enough to have the hood
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down, and Danny was thrilled by the thrusting sleekness of the
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car as I pushed the needle nd then we queued for INVADERS OUT OF
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TIME - just like father and son, I couldn't help thinking, and
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wondered if the same thought (grandfather and grandson?) ever
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crossed Uncle Edward's mind. The film itself was tremendous. I
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hadn't been to the cinema in years, so hadn't realized what
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progress had been made in special effects and trick photography.
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The monsters were revolting, the heroes handsome and daring, the
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battles noisy, and the 25th-century hardware utterly convincing.
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I don't know who was more spellbound, Danny or me, and we drove
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back through the velvet evening pretending to be astro-cruisers,
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power-zapping imaginary alien sniper craft and then warping out
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of trouble into a different time-zone.
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Until suddenly we were home; it was 11:00; the door had been
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given its extra pull to make sure that the lock clicked; and I
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couldn't put off the decision any longer.
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There was the spare room; and there was Uncle Edward's room. I
|
|
was sleeping in the spare room, so iff Edward's room: whereas if
|
|
he usually slept with Uncle Edward, he might automatically go to
|
|
the bedroom he was used to, or he might expect to be asked to use
|
|
mine. Or he might assume I was sleeping in Uncle Edward's room,
|
|
and go into the spare room because he'd think it would be free
|
|
or....
|
|
|
|
I gave up trying to work out the permutations, and led the way
|
|
upstairs. Danny followed silently, even shyly. At the top he
|
|
faced me.
|
|
|
|
"Where are you sleeping?"
|
|
|
|
My nerve failed me. "In there. The spare room. I'll make you
|
|
up a bed in the other bedroom."
|
|
|
|
"Is that where you want me to sleep?"
|
|
|
|
My heart jolted with something between disbelief and joy, and I
|
|
fell back on aggression to cover my desperate hope. "You can
|
|
sleep in the bath for all I care. Or on top of the wardrobe."
|
|
|
|
He laughed and looked away.
|
|
|
|
"When I came to stay with the professor," he mumbled,
|
|
addressing his left shoe, "I slept with him."
|
|
|
|
Silence ghosted between us like smoke.
|
|
|
|
My the risks, I was damned if I was going to be.
|
|
|
|
"Would you like to sleep with me too?" I asked. adding
|
|
incongruously, "Please?"
|
|
|
|
His face lit up as he grinned at me. Yes, it had been a grin
|
|
of complicity.
|
|
|
|
"Wow - for a moment I thought I'd got you wrong!" he said.
|
|
|
|
"Come on!"
|
|
|
|
Any shyness I might have imagined in him earlier certainly
|
|
hadn't lasted long. Inside the bedroom he thrust himself into my
|
|
arms and hugged me, moving his hips so that his pelvis rubbed
|
|
against the top of my legs. And now I could feel, through the
|
|
course material of his jeans, the hard shape of his erection. I
|
|
pushed my hands down between us to rub it, and he laughed into my
|
|
face.
|
|
|
|
"It's been like that all afternoon." He said. "All the time we
|
|
were talking about wanking and things. And when I was sitting on
|
|
your shoulders. I was sure you'd notice! I couldn't make it go
|
|
down!"
|
|
|
|
"I was as well," I told him. And then I slid my hand up to
|
|
loosen his belt, and pulled the jeans to his legs, across his
|
|
thighs and over the strong cheeks of his buttocks.
|
|
|
|
Abruptly he pushed me away, and hurriedly kicked of his shoes
|
|
and socks, wriggled out of his jeans and underpants and pulled
|
|
his shirt over his head. Then he leapt onto the bed and lay
|
|
there in tense anticipation. Stripped, the young strength of his
|
|
body was apparent in his shoulders, chest, and the firm muscles
|
|
of his legs. He must have worked practically naked throughout
|
|
the summer, because only the briefest triangle of white around
|
|
his crotch interrupted the honey tan of his skin.
|
|
|
|
He leaned across and pulled at the waistband of my trousers.
|
|
|
|
"Come on!" he demanded urgently.
|
|
|
|
I fumbled out of my clothes, leaving them muddled with Danny's
|
|
on the floor, and joined him on the bed. To be honest, I was
|
|
still a little unsure about how to go about things, but Danny
|
|
knew what he wanted. As I stretched out beside him, he pulled me
|
|
over top of him, hugging me around the waist, tilting his hips
|
|
round that elastic epicenter, less acute but still deliciously
|
|
perceptible, I was aware of the smoothness and warmth of his
|
|
body, of the smell of his hair in my face, like grass in the
|
|
summer, and the excited panting of his breath in my ear. I slid
|
|
my hands under his back and down to his buttocks, straining him
|
|
harder to me, and his grip squeezed tighter in return - then I
|
|
felt him pushing me sideways; so I rolled over, bringing him on
|
|
top of me, and rubbed his back as he pushed and writhed wildly
|
|
against me, pressing the length of his body down on mine, his
|
|
skin sliding over me like living velvet. His urgency mounted
|
|
quickly, the movement of of his hips and pelvis transposing into
|
|
a deep rhythmical thrust which grew fuller and more frenzied
|
|
every minute until at last, with a shuddering gasp of pleasure,
|
|
he went rigid in my arms, strained in quivering ecstasy for long
|
|
moments, and then sighed and sank voluptuously and damply onto my
|
|
stomach.
|
|
|
|
I lay and stroked him softly,ooked down at me, his eyes sleepy
|
|
and contented. I kissed his lips, and he allowed it, giggling;
|
|
then he eased backwards and took me in his hands.
|
|
|
|
"Now you."
|
|
|
|
I was already so intensely aroused that I had been on the verge
|
|
of culmination several times, and he didn't have much to do.
|
|
Pressing me between his hands and the soft skin of his belly, he
|
|
rubbed himself along until everything went beyond control, and I
|
|
pulled him back on top of me. Then finally we lay quiet, making
|
|
little movements of pleasure against each other, in a drifting
|
|
nimbus of security and peace.
|
|
|
|
"Is that what you did with Uncle Edward?" I murmured.
|
|
|
|
"Mmmm. Sometimes."
|
|
|
|
The security and peace wavered as a jagged shaft of jealousy
|
|
clawed at them.
|
|
|
|
"Its better with you, though."
|
|
|
|
The jealousy went away quickly.
|
|
|
|
Soon after that I heard his breathing slow and deepen, and when
|
|
I whispered his name he didn't answer; so I eased him off me,
|
|
pulled the sheet over us, and went to sleep.
|
|
|
|
|
|
It was 8:00 AM when I woke, and Danny was still sleeping. He
|
|
had turned over during the night, and was lying with his back
|
|
against me, his buttocks pressed against my groin. By raising
|
|
myself on an elbow, I was able to look down into his face. He
|
|
appeared impossibly young, all the passion of the night before
|
|
smoothed away in the innocence of sleep. I let my hand stroke
|
|
down his body, exploring gently, so as not to wake him, his firm
|
|
chest, his flanks, and the silky skin of his stomach rising and
|
|
falling with his sleeping breath. He was flaccid; but as my
|
|
fingers fondled him he started to tumesce and soon, although he
|
|
hadn't awakened, he was stiff under my touch. I rubbed him
|
|
gently until with a sigh, he rolled over and nuzzled warmly
|
|
against me. I lay and stroked him while he gradually woke, and
|
|
mumbled something in my ear.
|
|
|
|
"What was that?" I asked, startled, sure that I had misheard
|
|
him."
|
|
|
|
He put his arms round my neck and hugged closer to me ...
|
|
|
|
I hadn't misheard. Uncle Edward, I forced myself to admit, had
|
|
been quite an operator.
|
|
|
|
That sort of thing had never figured in my school-days
|
|
experiments, we had been too naive, I suppose. But if Uncle
|
|
Edward had done it, I was damned if I would refuse: and anyway it
|
|
would give Danny pleasure, which just then was something I wanted
|
|
to do very much indeed.
|
|
|
|
So I kicked the bedclothes off us and went down on him, taking
|
|
him gently into my mouth. Like most boys his age, he had hair-
|
|
trigger sexuality, and within seconds I found, as I had the night
|
|
before, that in fact I needed to do very little. Danny's own
|
|
movements served his own needs, some times pushing deeply and
|
|
luxuriously right to the hilt, sometimes rubbing just the tip
|
|
rapidly across my tongue and teeth. He was making noises, too:
|
|
tiny grunts and whimpers of delight - and as my hands stroked
|
|
over and across his body, I found his legs and shoulders to be an
|
|
erotic experience in a purely oral sense - but nothing had
|
|
prepared me for the incredible intensity of excitement I now
|
|
felt. I found my whole awareness telescoped down to that one
|
|
area of sensation. I don't know whether it is scientifically
|
|
possible to have an oral climax: I do know that there is no other
|
|
way to describe what I was feeling.
|
|
|
|
Then Danny was on the move again. Hardly daring to believe it,
|
|
I felt him swivel around on me so that he was still in my mouth
|
|
but his knees were either side of my head. Seconds later, there
|
|
was a nudging between my legs, and then a delicious sensation of
|
|
warmth and tightness as his lips closed around me, and that was
|
|
without any question the single most wonderful thing that had
|
|
ever happened to me in my life. Soon my body was moving as
|
|
urgently as his, and my excitement must have communicated itself,
|
|
for now we were racing each other toward the finish.
|
|
|
|
I felt him throb six or seven times while his body tensed rigidly
|
|
against me. The taste was sweet and slightly salty - there were
|
|
only a few drops as yet. Slowly he relaxed, rubbing himself with
|
|
infinitesimal movements back and forth between my lips, clinging
|
|
to the last ecstatic moments. At the same time I realized my end
|
|
was approaching. I tried to pull out of him, but he held me
|
|
there insistently, caressing me with his tongue, until he took
|
|
all that was in me, and swallowed convulsively. Then, gasping,
|
|
we let go of each other and rolled apart.
|
|
|
|
He scrambled around and came up with his head on the pillow
|
|
beside me. I put an arm around him and stroked his hair.
|
|
|
|
"That was - incredible," I told him.
|
|
|
|
"Mmm. Smashing."
|
|
|
|
"I've never done that before."
|
|
|
|
"Haven't you? Oh, I have. Heaps of times. With the professor
|
|
and people."
|
|
|
|
"Christ! is there anything else you used to do with my uncle?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
For breakfast we cooked some of the eggs he had brought - much
|
|
tastier than the supermarket variety I had been getting all my
|
|
life. Then, the washing-up done, I looked at him regretfully.
|
|
|
|
"I suppose I've got tot take you home, Danny."
|
|
|
|
He nodded. "I'd better be getting back. But I'll come again
|
|
tomorrow. I'll come every day, if I can; though it can't be for
|
|
so long when I'm back at school."
|
|
|
|
"I'll be in London by then, anyway."
|
|
|
|
"How do you mean?"
|
|
|
|
"Well, I'll have to be back at my job soon. I'm only here for
|
|
as it takes me to put this house up for sale....."
|
|
|
|
He interrupted me "But - but I thought - you were going to come
|
|
and live here!"
|
|
|
|
"Danny, I can't. I've got a business to run."
|
|
|
|
"Won't I ever see you again, then?"
|
|
|
|
"Don't be daft. I'll come up whenever I can. Weekends.
|
|
Perhaps your Mum and Dad might let you come down to London some
|
|
time.."
|
|
|
|
He still looked mollified. "Wow - I thought you meant you were
|
|
just going to go away and never come back."
|
|
|
|
"After last night? Christ no!"
|
|
|
|
He grinned. "Well, you didn't ought to sell this place then
|
|
did you?" Then, when you come up to see me, we'll have somewhere
|
|
to be, couldn't you sell yur house in London?"
|
|
|
|
"I've got to be near my work. And now," I said in what I hoped
|
|
was a decisive voice, "I'm taking you home. You're getting far
|
|
too inclined to organize my affairs."
|
|
|
|
He'd come in by bus the day before, having more than usual to
|
|
carry, so I had said I'd take him home in the car. Privately, I
|
|
quite wanted to meet his parents and make my mark with them. If,
|
|
as I hoped, I was going to see more of Danny, I needed their
|
|
approval and blessing.
|
|
|
|
Half-way to his farm, as we were just leaving the village, he
|
|
again produced the words I was coming to welcome and to dread:
|
|
|
|
"When I was out with the professor...."
|
|
|
|
I sighed. "Yes?"
|
|
|
|
"Well, there's an old airfield close to here where nobody ever
|
|
goes. He sometimes let me drive his car."
|
|
|
|
"Did he indeed!" I said in some surprise. "How good are you?"
|
|
|
|
"Dad's taught me a bit, too. On the farm."
|
|
|
|
"OK," I agreed. "But only if you promise to exactly as I say."
|
|
|
|
The way his face lit up made even the risk to my belo quivering
|
|
with excitement. Not many boys get a chance to handle an XK-150.
|
|
That, at least, I told myself smugly, was something that Uncle
|
|
Edward had not been able to give him.
|
|
|
|
Indeed, as far as teaching him to drive went, neither his
|
|
father seemed to have got very far. We stayed mostly in second
|
|
gear, and got away to some very jerky starts. Nevertheless, when
|
|
I called a halt half an hour later, he'd grasped the rudiments of
|
|
the art. We changed places again, and he laid back in his seat,
|
|
tired from the concentration, his eyes closed. I looked with
|
|
pleasure at the smoothness of his cheek and the damp hair falling
|
|
across his forehead, and wished it was 11:00 the night before.
|
|
|
|
"Danny," I said gently, "I'm afraid you've just gone and given
|
|
the game away."
|
|
|
|
He jerked his head around, startled. "What do you mean?"
|
|
|
|
"You've never driven before."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I have."
|
|
|
|
"Maybe a bit with your dad, but with Uncle Edward?"
|
|
|
|
"Well - not every time, actually. Only three or four
|
|
times.."
|
|
|
|
"He never learned to drive. And he certainly never owned a car
|
|
in his life."
|
|
|
|
I saw guilt flood into his eyes. Color mount into is face. He
|
|
looked away. "It's all right. Really, I'm not angry. But I'd
|
|
have let you drive my car anyway. I don't understand why you
|
|
wanted to lie about Uncle Edward."
|
|
|
|
He made a small noise. I put out my hands and turned his face
|
|
to me, concerned that he was crying. I should have known better.
|
|
He was trying to stiffle a fit of giggles.
|
|
|
|
I laughed too. "All right," I said, "so tell me the joke."
|
|
|
|
He took a deep breath. "Well you see - you know when I asked
|
|
you to take me to the cinema - when I said the professor always
|
|
used to?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes?"
|
|
|
|
"Well, I didn't really mean it. I mean, I didn't actually
|
|
think you would truly take me. But you did. And I thought it
|
|
was probably because of me saying that the professor had done
|
|
it."
|
|
|
|
"And he didn't."
|
|
|
|
Danny rocked with another explosion of giggles. "The professor
|
|
would never take me, I just figured I could make you do things
|
|
just by saying the professor had done them."
|
|
|
|
The boy's grasp of elementary psychology was uncanny. Then the
|
|
implications of what he was saying hit me. "You mean my uncle
|
|
never...?"
|
|
|
|
He laughed into my face. "Well, it worked, didn't it?"
|
|
|
|
"But - I mean - did you ever know my uncle?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh - I used to go to him for lessons - like I told you the
|
|
first time I saw you. But I thought he was really mean. And he
|
|
never asked me to stay or anything. And I wouldn't have wanted
|
|
to even if he had."
|
|
|
|
"But - last night - Danny, you've done all that before. It
|
|
wasn't the first time. You were too good at it."
|
|
|
|
"It was, honest....with a grown-up anyway. I've wanted to for
|
|
ages. I've got this mate at school called Billy - you'll like
|
|
him - anyway, me and Billy muck around together - you know. But
|
|
last term Billy met this man at the amusements in Cambridge, and
|
|
the man took him into Midsummer Common and did it to him - sucked
|
|
him and everythilots of times, but he's never seen the bloke
|
|
again. Ever since I've really wanted to do it with a man."
|
|
|
|
"You and Billy...?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh yes. And we pretend I'm the man and I pick him up. But
|
|
it's not as good - and anyway, I don't want to do everything with
|
|
him ,and he doesn't want to do it with me. I never thought I'd
|
|
want to do all of it it with you, actually. But when I found out
|
|
how good it felt I wanted you to feel it as well. And it's fun,
|
|
really once you've started, isn't it?"
|
|
|
|
I nodded, feeling the inadequacy of such a simple agreement.
|
|
One thing troubled me, however: "How the hell did you know that I
|
|
was...well... interested?"
|
|
|
|
"I didn't. Not at first. But you kept looking at me - you
|
|
know - and asking me to come round, so I sort of hoped you were.
|
|
And you were, so that was all right."
|
|
|
|
"But - if you never used to stay with Uncle Edward, how the
|
|
hell did you get your mother to let you spend last night?" I
|
|
thought of my note to her, and shuddered at the risk I had run.
|
|
Anyone that moldy have to have boring, safe relatives. Still," he
|
|
added thoughtfully, "perhaps you'd better come in and see her
|
|
when we get back."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, perhaps I had," I said grimly as I put the car into gear
|
|
and moved off.
|
|
|
|
"Then when she's met you she won't mind if I come over to your
|
|
house every day."
|
|
|
|
"Danny, it's not my house! Get it into your head that it's got
|
|
to be sold! I can't afford two houses! I promise I'll come and
|
|
see you - often - but living in Cambridge is out!"
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------
|
|
|
|
It's already a year, now, since I sold my London house and
|
|
moved to Papworth Everard. It's not as difficult as I feared,
|
|
running the business from outside London: and to tell the truth,
|
|
I'm not doing as much as I used to - I've promoted a couple of my
|
|
executives to full partners, and they've taken on a lot of the
|
|
donkey-work. I sometimes go a whole week without visiting London
|
|
at all.
|
|
|
|
Ten o'clock and we have just shown the last of the kids out the
|
|
door, latched it securely. The redecorating of Uncle Edward's
|
|
old, dark victorian rooms was done almost entirely with volunteer
|
|
boy-labor, and having worked so hard on it, they rightly consider
|
|
my house partly their own, to come and go in as they please.
|
|
Danny himself lords it over them, and views me mainly as his
|
|
property, although he graciously lends me out from time to time.
|
|
|
|
I switch off the lights and we walk towards the stairs
|
|
together. Except during the busy times on the farm, he usually
|
|
stays with me: its more convenient for his school - of which, to
|
|
his intense disgust, I have recently become a governor.
|
|
|
|
On the landing at the end of the stairs, in the place of honor,
|
|
hangs a portrait of my uncle Edward. My mother came to stay last
|
|
week, and she was suitably impressed.
|
|
|
|
"I'm glad to see, William, that you are paying your uncle
|
|
proper respect!" she said - and I'll swear she did a little bob
|
|
in front of it, as if genuflecting a shrine.
|
|
|
|
"But of course, Mother," I told her, straight faced. "I do
|
|
appreciate it. I don't think he realized how valuable some of his
|
|
legacy was."
|
|
|
|
"Edward always had a good sense of values," she said smugly.
|
|
|
|
The house is dark, except for the light shining from the
|
|
bedroom. Danny sighed luxuriously.
|
|
|
|
"Mmmm. Saturday. No school."
|
|
|
|
"What do you want to do?"
|
|
|
|
"What do you think?"
|
|
|
|
"Billy's coming round at nine o'clock..."
|
|
|
|
"So what? He can let himself in. And - er - join us."
|
|
|
|
"I thought we might all dive over to Allen Towers?" I suggest.
|
|
"You know - that amusement park that was on T.V."
|
|
|
|
"What, where they've got those bob-sleighs? Could we? That
|
|
would be brill!" He looks up mischievously. "Afterwards."
|
|
|
|
I ruffle his hair. "Don't you ever think of anything else?"
|
|
|
|
"Course I do. Lot's of things. But - er..."
|
|
|
|
"But what?"
|
|
|
|
The front of his jeans was noticeably fuller than it was a few
|
|
minutes ago. He drops one hand to rub it as he pulls me towards
|
|
the bedroom.
|
|
|
|
"Well - Christ - it's nearly midnight. I mean, what else....."
|
|
|
|
|
|
THE END
|