textfiles/sex/EROTICA/S/self_bon.txt

An Adventure In Self-Bondage
----------------------------

As far as I can think back, I have been  interested  in  Self-Bondage.
Since I do believe that others are also interested in it and I do have
some experience with it, I would like to share some  of  my  knowledge
with you in this story. For this I will  tell  you  about  one  of  my
latest experiences. Maybe you'll like it -- I liked it very much.

   I started with these kind of games  back  when  a  friend  of  mine
gave me a pair of handcuffs as a  present  at  a  party  and  jokingly
recommended that I try them on my boyfriend sometime. Curious as I was
I tried them on myself when I got home. The  feeling  of  helplessness
I experienced -- I can't  really  describe  that  feeling  to  you  --
excited me extremely. It was increased by the fact that it was  myself
that had imposed the helplessness on me.

   After that I saw handcuffs in a new light. Naturally I continued to
use them to enjoy the feelings they  induced.  I  started  buying  all
sorts of stuff which I thought could  be  useful  to  tie  myself  up,
torture or humiliate myself. Soon I had a  rich  collection  of  rope,
belts, chains, all sorts of cuffs, not to mention a  number  of  bonds
made out of rubber and silk. Various gags,  clips  and  other  bondage
material enrich my collection.

   It became a challenge for me to find new ways and positions to  tie
up and gag myself, but still be able to free myself in the end. I  was
fascinated by bondage, or better yet, by self-bondage.

   The fear to be all alone, tied up, not knowing whether or  not  one
can ever  come  free  again  without  help  --  it  is  one  of  those
indescribable feelings. What would happen if someone else  would  find
me, gagged and bound to the extreme?

   Once you have found a simple method of freeing yourself anytime you
want to, that anxiety is gone. But is this what I want?

   Self-bondage could be even more exciting  if  there  was  something
that was forced upon me while I am  helpless,  carefully  tied  up  as
tight as possible.

   This was what I was looking for. I missed it. Since I am scared  to
let myself be tied up by someone else, I was looking for a long  time.
Then one day I saw pictures of a tied-up woman  getting  an  enema  in
some magazine. I had never thought about enemas before, although  they
weren't completely unknown to me. This gave me the idea  to  try  this
out. An enema that started sometime while I was bound and defenseless,
that I was unable to stop and that I could  not  escape  from.  To  be
forced to hold it some time after that -- it must be  a  feeling  like
being tickled while being tied up. I had to try it.

   This is what I want to tell you about.

   I tried to imagine how I would tie myself securely, then start  the
enema some time after that and hold it, then free  myself  and,  above
all, do this without making a mess.

   My problem was how to start the enema after I tied myself  up,  and
how to keep myself from coming free until some  time  after  that.  In
addition I wanted  to  restrain  myself in  a  way  to  keep  me  from
escaping the enema once I was bound an fixed in place.

   One trick that I had used before:

   The key that  unlocks  the  restraint  put  on  last  (usually  the
handcuffs or some leather cuffs) is put into water and placed  in  the
freezer, until it is completely frozen  in  an  ice-cube.  Now  it  is
virtually impossible for me to free  myself  until  all  the  ice  has
thawed. This way all my restraints stay securely locked for quite some
time. Usually I put the ice-cube in a place where I can still reach it
even when I'm tied up. Another possibility is to place the ice-cube on
a hook in the ceiling. Once the ice has melted, the key drops from the
ceiling. For example if I tie myself to the bed or a chair, I tie  one
end of a string to the hook, and the other one to the  key.  When  the
ice has melted, the key drops down and dangles in a position  where  I
can reach it.

   This allows for an endless variety when playing with  self-bondage.
By changing the size of the ice-cube I can  influence  the  amount  of
time I have to stay in bondage.

   So I started to freeze the string with the key  for  the  handcuffs
the night before. I a second ice-cube I froze a piece of string  --  I
will talk about the purpose of this piece of string later on.
About one o'clock in the afternoon I started my bondage-pleasure.  The
first thing I did was write a short note, in which I  explained  where
to find all the various keys, and what they were for.  I  placed  this
note in an envelope, put it on the table and  wrote  the  name  of  my
best friend on it. Then I called her and asked whether she could  come
around later that evening, sometime around 10pm, to pick up some stuff
I had for her. I also told her that she should not  hesitate  to  come
in, even if I didn't answer the door. After all, she does have her own
key. The reason for this, of course, was that my rescue was ensured if
anything would go wrong with the key or the ice. It  would  take  some
time, but at least I would be rescued.

   The idea of someone like my best friend finding me, completely tied
up and gagged, with an enema  in  my  body  --  it  created  the  most
extraordinary feeling within me.

   Then I walked around the house, checked if everything  was  ok  and
placed one key in the mailbox at the garden entrance,  the  other  one
in the garage. After all, I should have to go through some trouble  to
free myself.

   The next thing was to dress for the occasion.  Over  time,  I  have
learned to love rubber as a wunderfully  constraining  and  erotically
shining material. This was the reason why  it  was  perfect  for  this
venture. First I put on  a  pair  of  black  rubber  stockings  and  a
matching rubber corset with the appropriate garters  to  hold  up  the
stockings. The corset came up to my neck, but there were openings  for
my breasts. I didn't put on panties, since I wanted to put on my heavy
chastity belt made of leather later on.

   This chastity belt has a rather wide waistband and a strap that  is
placed between the legs and locked to the waistband in front. Attached
to this strap are a buttplug and a vibrator, which is supposed to keep
me happy while being bound. The buttplug is hollow, and this is  where
the enema should be plugged in.

   Next I put on my knee-high, white  leather  boots.  The  boots  are
laced in front and have 12.5  cm  (5  inch)  high  heels.  This  makes
walking and even standing difficult and  constrains  your  freedom  to
move about so wonderfully -- which of course is the reason why  I  put
them on in the first place. Of course I laced them up very  tight  and
carefully. I looked at myself in the  mirror  that  I  placed  in  the
middle of the room. I liked what I saw -- the contrast  of  the  black
rubber on my body to the white boots, and the feeling to be the one in
this outfit ...

   Inside the left boot I had taped a key near my toes. This  key  was
for the gag of my bridle, that I wanted to put on  later  on.  Without
the key I would be unable to remove the bridle once I put it on.

   After that I put a pair of  leather  cuffs  around  my  ankles  and
locked them, leaving only a chain 30 centimeters  (12 inches)  between
them. This forced me to make tiny steps in my high  heeled  boots  and
made getting around even more difficult. The key for the locks of  the
cuffs was in the mailbox at the garden gate. Therefore I would have to
wait until it was dark before I could get it, unless of course I would
want to risk being seen walking through the garden in broad  daylight,
tied-up and gagged, dressed in a rubber corset and stockings,  wearing
white high heeled boots -- it would raise some questions.

   Now I was ready to gag myself. I took the bridle and placed  it  on
my head. I openen my mouth and placed the ball-gag  between  my  lips,
fastened the strap under my hair and then proceeded to fasten all  the
other straps of the bridle. The last one was the strap around my chin.
After I had closed it, my mouth was pressed tight around the gag.  Now
I was in a condition I liked very much, securely gagged. All  I  could
do now was make soft, unclear sounds, and my mouth, my voice could  no
longer help me to escape the constraints. When the last  lock  clicked
into place I knew that I was unable  to  remove  the  gag  and  bridle
without it. The key was in my left boot, and I could not take that off
without the key to the cuffs around my ankles -- and that one  was  in
the mailbox at the garden entrance. Isn't that beautiful? I would have
to stay the whole day the way I was now. There was no fast way out  of
my current situation.

I continued. It was about time to put the  icecubes  into  place.  The
keys to my handcuffs were tied to a carefully  measured  string.  This
was frozen together with the keys into the icecubes, except the end of
the string, which I now fastened to a hook in  the  ceiling.  Now  the
icecube was hanging on the  ceiling,  and  when  the  ice  had  thawed
completely, the key would fall from the  ceiling  and  dangle  exactly
where my tied-up hands would be, to allow me to free myself --  or  so
I hoped. I placed the other icecube, the  one  with  just  the  frozen
piece of string, also on the ceiling using one end of the string. Then
I fastened a weight on the other end. I tied a second piece of  string
to the weigth, with its other and fastened to a clip. This clip  would
cut off the tube of the enema. Once the ice melted, the  weight  would
tear the clip from the tube and thus start the enema. Then there would
be no way to stop the water from entering my ass.

Now I was ready for the last steps of my  Self-Bondage  Adventures.  I
loaded my VCR with about 5 hours of  bondage-movies,  to  keep  up  my
spirit and to intensify my feelings. I set the timer so that it  would
start about 20 minutes after I was completely immobilzied.

Now I filled the container for the enema with hot water.  I  used  hot
water because it would take a while for the ice to melt, and I  didn't
like cold water. I mounted the container on a rack,  and  plugged  the
tube in. The container was now at a height of about 1.90 meters (about
6' 4"); this i hoped would give the water enough force for the  enema.
Then I placed the  clip  on  the  tube  and  opened  the  tap  on  the
container. Everything was sealed tight.

I made a last round through the house to make sure that everything was
alright. I didn't want to have more than one surprise while I was tied
up. All doors were closed  amd  my  answering  machine  was  ready  to
receive calls. A tape told would-be callers that I was "bound" at  the
moment, but hoped to be available again later that evening.

   The last steps! I stood at the place where I would have to stay for
the rest of my bondage. I had put two  hooks  into  the  floor,  about
1.20 meters (4 feet) apart. I stood between them, took two straps  and
attached one to each of the hooks. I fixed one of  the  straps  on  my
right ankle cuff, the other one on  my  left.  Then  I  tightened  the
straps so that my legs were pulled apart to the  full  length  of  the
chain between the two anklecuffs. Then I put on a 7 cm (3  inch)  wide
collar. It is very tight and forces  me  to  keep  my  head  straight.
Attached to this collar is a chain about 20 cm  (8  inches)  long,  on
which I have attached the handcuffs with a couple of padlocks. The key
to the handcuffs was inside the ice-cube on the ceiling. The length of
the chain was measured so that my hands would be exactly in the middle
of my back. This way I would be unable to reach the  buttplug  or  the
tube of the enema, rendering me unable to stop it.

   I put the heavy leather waistband of my  chastity  belt  around  my
waist and pulled it very tight before  buckling  it.  I  inserted  the
buttplug carefully, then turned on the vibrator and pushed it into  my
already wet pussy. Then I fastened the strap between my  legs  on  the
waistband also very tight. After that  I  locked  the  chastity  belt.
There was no way for me to open it now without having the key. The key
for it was in the bathroom and the key to  the  bathroom  was  in  the
garage. Once my hands were free again, I would have  to  walk  to  the
garage first, still wearing the chastity belt, the working vibrator in
my pussy, the belly filled with the water from the enema, my  head  in
the bridle and my mouth filled with the gag. Dressed  in  high  heeled
white boots, and the black rubber corset which exposed my breasts  and
the rubber stockings, legs still cuffed together with a chain  between
the  ankles.  Just  thinking  about  it  now  made  me   shiver   with
anticipation.

   With one last look I checked my position to make sure that the  key
would fall into the right place once the ice melted. I had tried  this
a couple of times before, so I was pretty sure it would work, although
I could never be 100 percent certain.

   Except a couple of minor details, everything was ready. I carefully
attached the tube of the enema to the buttplug of  my  chastity  belt.
and checked so it would stay there no matter how hard I tried  to  get
rid of it. With a deep breath I took my nipple clips and  put  one  on
each nipple.

   They didn't hurt (yet). But from now on I new that they were there.
I attached a small weight to each of the clips, suspended by a  15  cm
(6 inch) long spring. Every movement of my body would make the weights
go up and down and add to the irritation of my nipples and breasts.

   A couple of long gloves made of fine leather completed  my  outfit.
This was not just because it looks good, but also  to  make  unlocking
the handcuffs even more difficult. I knew that I would be able  to  do
it anyway, but I would have to be  very  patient  and  concentrate  in
order to succeed.

   To prevent myself from bending backwards to try and stop the enema,
I had put a hook with a strap on the ceiling right above my head.  Now
I attached the strap to the D-ring on top of my bridle. Then I  pulled
it as tight as possible. Now there was no other choice for me  but  to
stand straight.

   The moment of truth had arrived. I put my hands behind my back, put
them in the handcuffs, took a deep breath, closed my eyes and  pressed
them shut -- I had crossed the point of no return.

   There was no way for me  to  turn  back.  I  stood  there,  staring
fascinated at the figure in the large mirror in front of me. I  saw  a
young woman in rubber and boots, tied up, defenseless,  with  toys  on
her nipples and behind her a rack with  a  dangerously  large  looking
container, with a tube running from it to her belly.  I  felt  exactly
how I  looked.  Scared  yet  great,  helplessly  agitated,  horny  and
threatened by the enema that was coming any time in the near future.

   I couln't move move more than a couple of centimeters  (inches)  in
either direction. The vibrator did its work  and  kept  up  my  sexual
excitement. Every movement of my body was immediately  transferred  to
my nipples by the weights, springs and nipple-clips. The waistband  of
my chastity belt and the corset hugged my body very tight and standing
in the high heeled laced boots added to the  pain  that  I  wanted  to
endure lustfully.

   The only thing I forgot was to look at the clock before I  started.
I knew that id had to be in the early afternoon, but  that  was  about
it. From my past experience I knew that the ice-cube with the key  for
the handcuffs would take about two-and-a-half hours to  melt.  What  I
didn't know was how long the other ice-cube, the one with  the  string
and the weight on it would take until it would rip off the clip on the
tube. I intentionally didn't test that. I thought that because of  the
added weight it would be rather early. But that was the reason  behind
it, after all it should be the unavoidable incident that  should  come
unpredictably during my time in bondage. This is the way I  wanted  it
and was prepared to endure.

   After a while the VCR turned itself on and I tried to relax while I
was watching my favorite bondage movies. It  was  hard  to  relax  and
follow the plot of the movies while the vibrator did its  work  inside
of me and kept my excitement up.

   Even with the films running, time moved very slow. The  muscled  in
my legs grew tired and my feet started to hurt  because  of  the  high
heels on my boots. The gag seemed to grow larger and  larger,  and  my
expectation of the coming enema grew larger. I had  no  idea  what  it
would be like, since I had never tried it before. The  later  it  got,
the more scared I got. I began asking myself whether or not I had made
a mistake. But it was too late anyway. I had tied myself up perfectly,
with no way to escape ...

The way I was tied up I could only see the ice-cubes for the  the  key
to my handcuffs. I was unable to see the other ice-cube for the weight
that would tear off the clip that started the enema.  This  made  sure
that the surprise was perfect. Once the weight fell down I would  have
ybout five seconds before the water would enter. The dropping  of  the
weight would be the only warning.

   Hours seemed to have passed since I had put my hands on my back and
closed the handcuffs behind me. In the middle of the  fourth  movie  I
heard the weight fall.

   I desperately tried to keep the water from entering my body, but  I
had planned my bondage perfectly -- I had no chance  of  reaching  the
tube. It was a  strange  feeling  when  the  water  started  to  flow.
It entered my body, warm, unstoppable, filling my  belly  further  and
further. The desire to go to the toilet grew, but my bondage  kept  me
>from doing this, and the water continued to flow. I had put about  two
liters (half a gallon) of water into the container, thinking  that  it
would be enough -- it was enough alright! My  assumption  that  I  had
made a mistake was confirmed now. But there was nothing I could do.  I
had succeeded, as planned, to inflict something  I  couldn't  stop  on
myself while I was in bondage. My only hope now was that the ice  with
the key to my handcuffs would melt soon -- but what if something  went
wrong with it?

On the other hand the feeling in my belly was exciting, or was it  the
pain the enema had caused? The feeling to have to endure all  of  this
helplessly, having inflicted it on  myself,  the  combination  of  the
enema and the vibrator, the nipple clips, the gag,  the  tight  corset
and chastity belt, the boots and my bonds --  it  took  everything  my
body could give. The first wave of orgasm hit me like  a  brick  wall.
Then came the second wave. I was in heaven.

Without the strap that was attached to my bridle, the one that kept my
body upright, I would have collapsed instantly. I tried to breathe but
couldn't, and was sweating all over my body.  Slowly  my  breath  came
back, but with it also the cramps in my belly. I had just one wish  at
that point -- to get out of my restraints. But a look to the  ice-cube
with the key to my handcuffs told me that I  would  have  to  bear  my
position a while longer.

   At this point, time seemed to stand still. The more  I  wanted  the
ice to melt faster, the slower it seemed to do  so.  My  filled  belly
was getting more and more uncomfortable, and the urge  to  go  to  the
toilet became stronger and stronger.

   About half an hour later, in which I had to put up with that  awful
urge to go to the toilet, the ice-cube with  the  key  to  my  freedom
finally had melted. The keys fell down and dangled near my hands.

   Four times I tried to unlock my handcuffs invain. My leather gloves
had worked exactly as they were supposed to. I tried  to  concentrate,
then it worked. My hands were free again. After  that  I  removed  the
strap that held my head and body upright, then I took off the  collar.
Carefully I removed  the  nipple  clips.  My  nipples  were  erect and
extremely sensitive now from all of my attempts to  escape  the  enema
earlier on. The weights attached to the clips had pulled quite  a  bit
as a result of this. Finally I got rid of the leather  gloves.  I  was
free -- except for the tube which was still attached to the  buttplug,
and the straps that pulled my legs apart. I took  the  clip  that  was
lieing on the floor, removed the string from it  and  put  it  on  the
tube as near to the buttplug as possible.  Turning  to  the  back  and
concentrating on sealing the tube was rather difficult with my  filled
belly. Once the clip sealed the tube tight, I could  remove  the  tube
>from the container. Now I could bend down and unhook the  straps  that
had been spreading my legs apart for all that time. I cut the tube  as
close to the clip as possible, so that I wouldn't be dragging a "tail"
behind me.

I was free and could walk around. As far as it was  possible  with  my
filled and aching belly, I stretched in order to move my muscles.  But
the pressure in my stomach reminded me that I should get  the  key  to
bathroom from the garage as soon as possible. The key to the  chastity
belt was in the bathroom, and I had to get the  damned  thing  off  in
order to get rid of the buttplug and the  vibrator  (which  was  still
working).

   Carefully I walked to the back door  an  peeked  out.  Walking  was
difficult now, for my feet were hurting inside the high heeled  boots,
and the chain between my ankles wasn't making it any easier. Above all
the pain in my belly added to my problems. There was  no  one  on  the
backside of the house, therefore I opened the door an  started  on  my
way to the garage.

   Never ever had I run up the three steps back to the house  then  in
that moment, as I heard the neighbors  talk  at  their  back  door.  I
slipped through the door and tried to listen.  From  where  they  were
standing they could oversee the path to the garage. They talked  about
washing the car and that they should have  started  earlier  with  it.
This of course meant waiting. I hoped that it wouldn't take too  long,
since I really needed the key to the bathroom now, and  my  will-power
was rapidly diminishing. I walked back to the room and  tried  whether
lying down would ease the pain.  It  didn't.  Meanwhile  my  jaw  hurt
>from the gag, and all that walking around didn't help my poor feet  at
all. After 15 minutes I walked back to the door and listened  --  they
were still at it. Now they talked about trees and mowing the lawn. The
vibrator was keeping up its work all this time, but  with  the  locked
chastity belt there was no way for me to turn it  off.  At  least  the
stimulation helped to relieve the pain a bit. All I could do  now  was
to wait some more.

   Another 15 minutes had passed, and I was checking again  whether  I
could finally go to the garage unseen. They were  still  talking,  but
now they were saying their goodbye's. I prayed that they wouldn't find
anything else to talk about.

   Thank god, they left. I could finally go to the  garage,  went  in,
took the bathroom key, and started on my way back. It must  have  been
at least 200 steps with the chain  between  my  ankles  and  the  high
heeled boots. I went to the bathroom straightaway, took the key to the
lock of that damned chastity belt and removed it immediately.  Finally
I could relieve myself! It must have been some sight -- there  I  was,
sitting on the toilet, wearing knee-high white  leather  boots,  black
rubber stockings and black rubber corset, bridle and gag and  my  feet
chained together with the cuffs.

I was sitting for quite some time until I felt  better.  After  I  had
recovered a bit, I decided to start cleaning up. My jaw and feet hurt,
but the key that could free me from that pain was still in the mailbox
at the garden entrance. I didn't dare to go there in  broad  daylight.
That meant that I would have to wait at least another two hours  until
I could take off the gag and the boots. I hoped that  I  was  able  to
stand it that much longer.

   Finally the darkness I had longed for had arrived,  and  I  started
out on my way to the mailbox. Of course I checked that nobody else was
around who could see me. A quick walk to the mailbox, taking  the  key
and returning to the house. Excited and overjoyed to get  rid  of  the
cuffs, the boots and the gag I had worn for the last  seven  hours,  I
forgot the key to the house and, of course, the door had slammed shut.
Shivers were running up and down  my  spine.  What  now?  But  then  I
remembered that I had left the back door open. I was shocked but  glad
about my carelessness. The last walk, around the house, up the  stairs
and into the room was almost as if I was in a trance. In my thoughts I
was already taking a shower. But first I had to proceed step by  step.
First remove the cuffs and the chain. Then take off the boots and  use
the key taped to the inside to  unlock  the  bridle,  allowing  me  to
remove the gag. What a relief! I thought I never would be able to move
my jaw and feet again. I dropped to the floor  and  tried  to  restore
the flexibility of my feet and jaw. Then I  stood  under  the  shower,
where I removed the rubber corset and the rubber stockings and enjoyed
the fresh, warm water for a long time.

   There were still some things to be done in the hour  that  remained
until my best friend showed up. I am sure it would  have  been  rather
interesting had she found me tied and gagged, with an enema in my ass.

   I was satisfied with what I had experienced and  glad  that  I  had
learned something new. But I know one thing now: I  will  never,  ever
try an enema again. I really hated it, but it made the helplessness in
bondage seem very real.