textfiles/sex/EROTICA/H/hangups.txt

				 HANGUPS

				Jack Sprat


  

     "You've got to learn to get rid of your hang-ups," Bill said.

     Bill and I had just returned from a movie. We were sitting outside
     my house in his car talking. I had cultivated Bill's friendship. I
knew he was gay. I don't know where in the hell I stood. I'm eighteen
years old and never had sex with anything but my hand.  I've always
felt more relaxed around men and thought I would be more inclined to
first try it with another male.

     I've had fantasys about doing it with a female, but communication
     with girls has not been my forte. I've dated them only to find out
they tease, get the giggles, put you down and take every advantage of
you that they can. I feared a girl might cruely humiliate me and I
don't  know how I would ever get over it. This was why I was in heavy
conversation with Bill. I was revealing to him my many hangups.

     " I want sex, but I am so self conscious about my body. I even
     hate to shower at school. You've probably seen me hurriedly towel
off and dress, withdrawn, and not talking to anyone. I just don't feel
comfortable with anyone seeing me naked.

     "Yeah," Bill quietly replied. "Shame, guilt, self-conscious and
embarrassed."

 I nodded.

    "When I was fourteen, I was caught jacking off by my Dad and got a
    severe scolding. He told my Mom too. They told me it was
shame-shame to even erotically feel myself. My Dad said that if he
caught me doing it again, he would take me to the doctor for a
circumcision. That's how boys were punished for masturbating. They got
circumcised. If this happens, they find it very uncomfortable to
masturbate without a foreskin. In the gym, I actually thought that all
circumcised men had been caught doing things and had been punished by
being cut."

     "I can see why you have hangups," replied Bill. "But you know that
circumcision is not for punishment."

     "Yes", I replied, "But it still did its psychological damage.
     Dammit! I was taught that I would do nothing to my own body or
mess around with anyone else. It was dirty and sinful. But told, after
marriage, a beautiful sexual relationship with my spouse would keep us
happy for ever."

     "Shit!", Bill replied.

     I nodded in agreement. "But it still made me so uptight that I
     haven't had sex with anyone. My body is screaming for relief. I
still don't know if I can handle it, even if I try it with a male."

     "You've got to get over these negative feelings," Bill replied.
     "You're missing out on life. There's no reason you can't take care
of your sexual needs without guilt. Do you realize that everyone is a
sexual person? Nature made it that we all have sexual desires. Religion
came along and screwed everything up. Yeah! A lot of people have
hangups. Those who don't get over them can be miserable."

     Bill moved next to me and put his arm around me. I froze. Bill
     sensed my frigitity. "Boy! You ARE uptight!." Bill said this in a
kindly, understanding manner. "I'll tell you what, I'm not a shrink,"
he said, "But I think I can work with you and help you over this. I'll
be real patient, and if you feel I am going too fast, tell me, and I
will back off. Do you want to give it a try?"

     "Please, Bill. I need help."

     I didn't feel comfortable as Bill stroked my hair and hugged me.
He pressed his mouth against my tight lips which I would not open. Bill
pulled back, then gently traced his finger over my closed lips.

     "You've never kissed?"

     "No."

     "Do you want to learn?"

     "Yes!"

     "Just open your mouth to where it is comfortable, relax, and let
     me do the rest."

     I felt Bill's tongue move about my outer lips then move into my
     mouth.  I was squeezed tighter while his tongue entered deeper,
exploring all about.  There was something about the warmth of his body
pressed against mine and his tongue movement that made me start to kiss
him back. I became erect. Bill moved his hand down to my crotch, pushed
down, and stroked. Through my pants, he gently squeezed my peter from
bottom to top checking its size. I knew I couldn't let him take it out.
I was too apprehensive and uptight

    "That's enough for tonight," Bill said softly. "Do you like it so
    far."

    "I'm not sure," I replied, but in a way, it did feel good.

     I left the car erect, hot, and bothered. I went right to bed and
masturbated until I passed my last drop of sperm. Fantasies ran through
my head. If I could only let things happen. Maybe next time I would
relax and let Bill do more. In the meantime, it was real safe if I just
jacked myself off.

					#


     The next night, sitting in Bills' car, I was more receptive to his
     kisses.  I found myself exploring his mouth with my tongue. I
hugged him as we kissed.  Bill's hand again ran down to my burning
crotch and rubbed my throbbing bulge through my pants. I kind of froze
but didn't say "no" as my belt was tugged and flipped open. My top
button was unsnapped, my zipper pulled down. My shame and modesty
wanted me to tell ask him to stop, but the intense feel of passion
overcame my negative thoughts. I gave a start as his hand slipped under
the wasteband of my briefs and gently gripped me. I momentarily grabbed
his wrist, but after his few strokes I relaxed.  His slow exploration
was causing an undescribable exotic feeling that made me crave more. I
raised my butt so my pants and shorts could be slipped down further.

     Bill's spittled finger fully explored my whole tip, turning to
     fire all of the sensuous nerves that my penis held. My penis
throbbed, my cum moved upwards from deep within. With gigantic spasms I
came in large spurts, hitting my face, my shirt, as well as the ceiling
of Bill's car, and partially dripped back down. I was embarrassed by
the mess and the damp spots on my clothes. "Don't worry," Bill
reassured me. "How was it?" I replied with a with a pleasant moan, also
happy that I had actually allowed someone to do it to me.

     Bill moved my hand to his crotch and closed my fingers around his
exposed stiff cock. I grasped his warm, hard, throbbing penis but
wasn't really sure what to do. "I don't know how," I muttered.

     Bill told me to just feel it, explore it, and pump it. Also to rub
     my spit on its tip, just as he had done to me. I did. It was fun
and different to feel and fondle his balls. After a bit, with my
jacking and fondling, Bill started to moan and wiggle. His jism shot
out covering the both of us.

     We cleaned ourselves up then hugged and kissed for a long time.
     Bill asked me if everything had been O.K. He hoped I was getting
more pleasure with less trauma. "It feels good," I replied. "But I
still have a lot to deal with."

    "You want to be shown more?" Bill asked.

    "Yes, Bill." I want you to teach me me everything. I'll do my best
    to try to handle it."

				    #

     I was becoming more relaxed and looking forward to more of Bill's
teachings. I trusted Bill and appreciated his patience. I thought I'd
never be able to let any one play in my crotch, but it was O.K. when
Bill did it. I was also getting more comfortable playing with Bill,
feeling him and jacking him off. Bill really appreciated this.

     The three day Labor Day holiday was approaching. Bill suggested we
     go to Lake Tahoe and take a room where he would show me more. He
said that I would be very knowledgable when we returned and he thought
my final hangups would be gone. I would, however, have to agree to let
him show me everything if I wanted to reach a final breakthrough.

     I wasn't exactly sure what he had in mind. I had mild
apprehensions of being alone with him for several days. However, he had
been an understanding friend and teacher so far. I agreed to make the
trip.

				     #

     It was a nice drive to the lake. Bill had reserved a room with a
     lake view. The room had one double bed. As soon as the door was
closed and our suitcases unpacked, Bill said that we should shower. I
started to undress and also saw that Bill was removing his clothes.
"Oh! You're going to shower first?"

     "No," Bill replied. We are going to shower together.

     I'd never seen Bill completely nude before. He was smooth, slim,
     cut, and had a nice shaped tight butt. I became semi-erect.

     Bill saw my erection but temporarily ignored it. I stood under the
     shower as he washed my hair, my neck, my shoulders and back.
Finishing, he soaped his hands real good and reached for my crotch. My
balls rolled through his slippery fingers, sliding with the soapy
lubricant. He gently slipped back my foreskin and softly washed away
the bits of smegma that had formed under my tip. He had me turn around,
spread my legs and lean against the shower wall.  His warm soapy hand
delved into my crack, moving up and down as he cleansed me. A finger
pressed against my asshole, gently washing its topside. He moved to my
outer butt, washing each cheek then kneeded both. I'd never let Bill
mess around with my butt before. This felt real good.

     We stepped from the shower. Bill asked me to dry him off. He got
     erect as I toweled his crotch and ass. I got erect too. Then it
was his turn to dry me. He carefully and slowly ran the towel up and
down my hard dick, then over each ball. He had me turn around and dug
deeply into my crack, pushing against my asshole to make sure all the
water was removed.

     "Now, we'll go to the other room," said Bill. I want you to lay on
     the bed and present yourself.

     "Present myself?" I didn't know what was wanted but I lay naked
     and submissively on the bed, drawing my legs up, spreading them
wide. Bill sat besides me, fondled and jacked me, then slipped my penis
into his mouth.  This was the first time I'd had my cock sucked. The
sensation was wild.  Bill moved to a 69 position. His hard red-tipped
cock was right at my face.

"Will you suck me?," Bill asked.

I slipped his tip into my mouth then slid it back so I could feel it
deeper in my throat. I found his cock pleasant and satisfying. I kept
licking, sucking and jacking. The finale was when his warm sperm filled
my mouth. I rolled it about, savoring its taste, then swallowed it
which gave me a sense of love and satisfaction. Both spent, we snuggled
our naked bodies against one another and napped.

				   #


     When I awoke, I was hard again. I wanted more. Bill stirred. I put
     my leg over his, then took his had and guided it downward. Again,
I experienced complete ecstasy as Bill fondled me. I wanted this
feeling forever. I never wanted to say no.

     Bill turned me over and had me get up on all fours. He had me pull
my legs up as far as possible and to spread as wide as possible and to
crouch as low as possible. This left my butt fully exposed for easy
access to whatever what was going to happen. I felt a bit embarrassed
in this position, feeling Bill's staring inspection of my asshole and
dangling balls. It was exciting and erotic too.

     My balls were gently grasped and pulled downward. I wasn't ready
     for what happened next. Bill tugged my balls while he licked my
asshole. This drove me bananas. I clawed the sheets.  He licked for a
real long time, jacking my prick with his other hand.  I emitted a
startled erotic gasp as my body spasmed with  most intense pleasure as
my sperm spotted the bed sheets.

     I wanted to drop down to prone position and rest, but Bill told me
     to stay as I was, my butt and asshole still staring him in the
face.

     Bill opened a jar of vaseline. Swishing his finger around, he
     pulled out a large glob. His greased finger started to move up my
asshole. His first knuckle passed, then his second. His finger was all
the way in and tickling around. It started to rub over an area that
made me want to piss and come at the same time. I could only stand so
much of this. It was too intense.  Clear fluid had dripped from my
dick. Bill said this was prostate fluid and it was my prostate that
made me go bonkers, then Bill continued his work.

     My asshole was stretched wider. Two fingers had been lubed and
     were slowly twisting up me. After they moved about for awhile,
Bill asked me if I could tighten down. I tried to clamp my asshole but
nothing happened. My asshole was fully relaxed and limp. I could no
longer flex.

     Bill removed his fingers and pushed his prick against my asshole.
     I knew I was going to get butt fucked. My already limp asshole
stretched even wider as his prick squeezed in.. It hurt a little, but
not so much that I had to ask him to stop. It kept sliding until I felt
crotch hairs rubbing my butt cheeks. Slow stroking followed, moving all
of the way in, then pulling all of the way out, again pressing open my
asshole muscles for full re- entry. Feeling a prick slip against my
muscle walls, then stuffing me as it delved deeper, was really a turn
on. It was a big finale when Bill started to cum and rammed his large
hot piston rapidly back and forth, my butt stinging from his pelvis
slaps. When everything was over, I was really spent and relaxed with a
very satisfied feeling that I'd never experienced. .

     The next morning, Bill said we would review all we had done, plus
     a little more. This day, along with everything else, I licked
Bill's asshole and fucked his butt until I was exhausted.

     Driving back to San Francisco, I snuggled to Bill all of the way.
     I felt reborn. I now understood the full meaning and feeling of
sex. On this trip I had lost my virginity and now felt fulfilled. My
hangups were gone. I knew that I could now find a male lover and live
happily ever after.

				   The End