textfiles/sex/EROTICA/E/eileen04.txt

Archive-name: 3plus/eileen04.txt
Archive-author: Pace
Archive-title: Eileen - 4


                      Standard Preface:
                          H MILLER  
  This is correspondence with a man who used the pseudonym Pace.  He
wrote me from about 1979 till 1987, because I answered an ad in a
swinger's magazine.  I never met him.  I have no idea what has
happened to him since 1987.  He was born in the late 1920's and felt
he might have a heart condition.  He may have died suddenly, because
the correspondence unaccountably went blank in mid-stream.  Or he
could be alive.  It bothers me.  He was obsessed with performing sex
with his wife before groups of men.  She was very pretty, gullible,
and very much his junior.  The period of intense sex performance he
wrote about extended from 1967 to 1972.  But he covered everything
leading up to it and beyond.
  The material was scanned from typewritten pages and dot matrix
print-out.  Then edited and edited.  If Pace's writing "voice" seems
to change suddenly, blame my editing.  Everything was originally
written "in one long string".  Time and sequence are "bugs" of his,
and loom large.  But all else is chaos.  This man neglects typos and
grammar, can switch from the vulgar to the pedantic in the flick of
an eye.  His personality was very Schiz, his lifestyle was, too, and
so was his writing.  I give you Pace, as he was, heavily edited and
revised.  He is honest, and self-admittedly an opinionated, bigoted
man.  That's him, not me, please don't shoot the messenger.

IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE A MESSAGE TO DISCUSS THIS TEXT, OR OTHERS FROM
THE SERIES, LEAVE A MESSAGE TO H MILLER
____________________________________________________________________
--------------------------------------------------------------------
               Just and Old Pervert, Yours Truly

  As for me, as I said, I'm just an old Guinea, ugly, balding, with a
hooked nose and double chins.  I was born in 1927 in Little Italy, New
York City.  I look a little like Marlon Brando, and felt gypped when he
played the Godfather.  That should have been me!  I'm certainly not
very attractive, to say the least, very average in prick size, even
under, barely six inches.  Just to cap my physical repulsiveness, I've
got this fat belly hanging over my pants belt.  Too much pasta.
  So how come I've got this almost hypnotic control over some very
beautiful women, the classy "goody goody" types?  These women, who will
do almost anything for me sexually, are almost always "proper" looking
girls and women.  Almost cold-looking.  Uptight.  They're women who
look like butter wouldn't melt in their mouths.  When I get hold of
them, they'll do anything, things you couldn't believe, things even
they couldn't believe they'd done, afterwards.  I mean anything, they
turn into the real pigs.  All of these dames look so inhibited and
passive.  Never fooled me.  I've jammed my cock into maybe a hundred or
so different women in my sex life.  Not a lot, these days.
  Often other guys wouldn't look twice at some of these gals, because
the gals were either too shy, too "plain", not "foxy" enough, or so
spectacularly pretty that they were dubbed "cold fish".  If I'd show an
interest in such women often I'd get told by other men with "superior
knowledge" that I'd never get any sex out of them, not to waste my
time.  That was their opinion.  But I knew my targets.
  Well what's the secret?  I think I know.  I'm in many ways a lot like
my Italian mother, I even talk like my mother.  I think I act sort of
feminine, almost "faggoty", in many ways.  Like a fat old Italian lady,
almost like that comedian sidekick of Burt Reynolds.  Dom Delouise. 
But all I can think about, night and day, is fucking women. But only
certain kinds of women.
  Women who like macho men never ever give me a second glance.  The
bitches.  They can't stand me.  And I can't stand them.  It's mutual. 
But women who are drawn to other women, who don't want to compete with
other women, the way the bitches do, these gals absolutely accept me,
totally.  And trust me, totally.  It disarms them.  I'm a wolf in
sheep's clothing.  That's the nub of it, right there.  In their guts
these women seem to accept me as just another kind of woman.  It's
funny, sort of, peculiar.  I talk recipes, and housework and other
woman things, around woman, and always, "feelings".  I'm very sensitive
on that point.  Lot's of women feel "mothered" by me.  Passive women.
  I've got a woman's sensitivity, and frankly, some of the women I've
made love to say I make love to a woman as if I were another woman,
except for this odd fact that I need to get my cock sucked, more than
anything else.  They say that I seem to love every single part of a
woman's body.  I do.  Except for women who don't take proper hygienic
care of their pussies.  I can't stand cheesy smelling pussies.
  Since the age of six I've been bugged on womens' naked bodies, on
seeing erect pricks stuck into, or rubbing against cunts and tits and
asses.  Or on seeing guys standing around with erect cocks, leering at
naked ladies.  Can you believe this, at six years of age I was totally
turned on by sex?  At six years old, a sex fiend??!!  I've always spent
25 hours a day thinking about sex.  I practically go out of my skull,
panting with my tongue out of my mouth, to see cock jammed into a
pretty girl's mouth.  The first time I ever looked at my innocent wife
all I could imagine was how she'd look with my cock disappearing into
that pretty little mouth.

               Conning Eileen into Stag Show Greatness

  From the time my wife Eileen was 18, in 1960, till that incredible
first stag show, in 1966, I'd gradually manipulated the little dummy
into doing progressively more outrageous sex acts for me.  Like first
getting her to suck cock.  And then teaching her how to really suck
prick till it made the hair on my balls bristle.  And then teaching her
to love getting a cock into her mouth.  And the same for eating and
swallowing cum.
  Eileen often said that she'd do anything, anything for me, just to
see me beaming at her with this enormously happy face.  Usually I look
pretty serious.  Not mad, but serious.  I rarely smile. When I first
started training my Irish innocent, sexually, I'd never planned that,
at some time in the future, I'd end up showing off my naked Irish honey
in front of crowds of men, fucking and sucking my cock.  I surely never
planned that I'd eventually be exhibiting my wife having sex with me,
and then, with more and more elaborate stag actor groups, and
exhibitionistic sex circuses, and that the act would happen over and
over again, in so many different places, with so many varieties of
settings.
   When I married the 18 year old, in 1960, her belly full of my child,
I couldn't have envisioned that a mere six years later I'd be
encouraging one audience after another to fuck her holes en masse.  If
you'd pardon the joke, the chance to fuck my wife in front of a bunch
of guys didn't just fall into my lap.  We went on a long wandering
sexual journey before we ended up doing stags.
  Without my knowing it at the time, I got some unexpected help out of
Eileen's past, when it came to conning the girl into having live sex
before a crowd.  She'd never let on, until we'd been doing stags for a
while, that she'd been seduced as an 11 year old pre-pubescent girl
into showing off her pussy to a bunch of masturbating little Jewish
pigs.  I think that one of the things that encouraged Eileen to go
along with my stag shows was that it gave her the chance to re-live
over and over that early pussy show she gave.  My opinion.  Eileen's
early exhibitionism gave me a "leg up", if you will pardon the terrible
dirty pun, in worming my wife into giving sex shows.
  What started as one stag show didn't stop there.  In spite of all the
filthy things she was conned into doing with her pussy and her mouth in
front of shocked and delighted audiences, and you'll read about them,
there is a strange irony, which my "customers" always commented to me
about, after they had witnessed one of her shows.
  Eileen never acted twisted, or whorish.  She looked and acted like a
freshman high school cheerleader.  Exclusively male audience were
invariably stunned watching a pretty little thing like her with a huge
black cock pumping off gobs of cum into her mouth, while another black
guy would hold his his big black club in his fist, jamming the monster
up into the little housewife's cunt.  It always looked like it was the
first time this outrageous thing had ever been perpetrated on her,
almost as if her husband had arranged for her to be raped by two black
studs in front of an audience.
  What gave the entire thing its kick was the way I often compounded
the perversion, before the performance, by giving slide shows of Eileen
derived from our family album, or home movies, showing our wedding and
her life as an ordinary mother at home with her kids.
  If you don't mind the aside, a pussy is just a pussy.  It's like
food.  Without the hype, without the enormous drama I concocted around
Eileen's stag, as a real showman at these performances, there would've
been nothing there.  If I feed you hamburger in McDonalds, big deal! 
If I give you a beautiful waitress, and red walls, and soft lights, and
a little sauce, this same crappy meat becomes "the experience of a
lifetime".
  Bring in a whore to a stag, and it is pure "yawnsville".  Who really
gives a shit?  So she's going to fuck every cock in the place.  Big
deal!!!  That's what she does for a living.  The girl is bored, the
audience is bored.  Who the fuck cares, these days.  You have to keep
looking for bigger and bigger "gimmicks".  What the hell is so special
about watching fucking, unless there's some kind of "hook", something
that gets you in the gut.  Which is why practically all the porno I see
these days is totally, completely predictable, and the most boring,
yawn-inducing crap in the world.
  So, because my audiences knew Eileen was an ordinary housewife, and a
mother, it brought up their pricks straight and eager to be fucking the
woman.  In contrast, regular whore stag shows were conducted with the
dregs, the really burned out whores who just couldn't give a damn. 
Because Eileen was so conventional, in both the everyday style of her
life, and in appearance, well that was the ultimate kick for all of us,
for Eileen, for me, and for the fortunate Clubs that went along with my
very stringent conditions.

              Young Eileen, Preparation for Stag Show Sex

  Let me see if I can give you an insight into the girl, herself. 
Eileen had grown up in a relatively stable home, even if it wasn't too
happy, with parents who were strangers to each other.  She'd had a
mostly uneventful childhood, without any abuse.  The little girl had
never been spanked or heard a voice raised in anger against her.  And
with the few Irish Nannies that Mumsy hired, when Eileen was under 6,
that was quite an accomplishment.  Mumsy had a thing about violence, so
she handed her child over to these very gentle and docile Irish woman
from the Old Country, which is also why Eileen hung onto her brogue,
even though she was brought up in NYC.  The women were tickled pink to
have in their hands a very well-trained little puppy of a girl like
Eileen.
  Then, later, Eileen had another brand of Nanny.  That was after she
was over the age of six.  These Nannies were lusty, hearty Jamaican
women.  With accents that resembled her own Irish Brogue.  Eileen
remembers these women with great love.  Because she had these frankly
sexual, lustful black women in her early upbringing I think it
encouraged a hidden rebellious streak in Eileen.  It gave her a chance
to give only surface obedience to the strict Catholic upbringing she
got, while inside she was felt more like a little Jamaican savage. 
That freedom more or less neutralized the fearful Catholic background
in which she was growing up.
  Eileen remembers these women as being very uninhibited about their
nudity around her.  They encouraged her to go nude in front of them. 
When she was a little six year old girl, still impressionable.  Eileen
described to me the thrill of disrobing in front of them, and wanting
very much to disrobe in front of her mother, to shock Mumsy.  That's
why Eileen worked with me so cooperatively the time I conned her mother
to join us in a nudist camp, with our kids, as a "family".  That
experience allowed Eileen to live out a fantasy.   Without Eileen
helping me manipulate her mother into the deal it would never have been
pulled off.
  Anyway, these Jamaican Nannies of Eileen's had big asses, and were
always telling Eileen that she must be a little black girl, under her
white skin and blue eyes, because her bum was built just like theirs. 
She'd be brought to their houses, during the days, sometimes, before
supper, and it was an erotic and free-wheeling atmosphere, with lots of
rum, and lots of men "feeling up" the women, in the most casual way.
  Eileen thought she may have actually witnessed something like a real
sex act, but was never able to recall exactly what had gone on, it's
all fuzzy in her mind.  On the other hand the experience wasn't
remembered as unpleasant, it was more something that happened in the
heat of the moment, accompanied by a lot of friendly laughter by her
Nanny, Constance.  Maybe that's why it was so easy for Eileen to fuck
black studs with huge cocks, when I finally conned her into doing stags
with black studs, because of that early pleasant experience she
remembered.
  My wife's fondest memories from childhood were those of her summers
in Camp, spent in the company of other kids.  Mumsy was very stingy
about some things, in spite of the high-class upbringing she arranged
for her kid.  Eileen's mother found it "an injustice" to pay "real
money" to send her kid to a camp.  So, to save money Mumsy sent Eileen
to an uncharacteristically "un-posh" charity-sponsored camp.  The place
was liberally peppered with black kids, also lots of Jewish kids from
liberal homes.
  From the time Eileen was six or seven years old till she was 16, when
she was made a junior counselor, Eileen had a lot of immature weenie to
ponder over, because kids used to run around naked in the bunks, though
the initially shy Eileen never partook, in her earliest years.  But
boy, did the little girl ever take it in with her eyes!!  Eileen never
got over her curiosity about penises, from then on.  And she confessed
to me that, as a little girl at these camps, she was utterly fascinated
by black cocks, based on having seen them when they were just
"sprouts".
  Without knowing it, I even exploited those happy sensual camp
memories to give me totally outrageous pleasure, when we were deeply
involved in my more obsessive and risky sex adventures.  That was when
I had my wife perform sex with under-age pre-teen boys.  When Eileen
was sucking on a 12 or 13 year old boy's erect penis, or guiding it
into her mother-sized pussy hole she'd flush beet-red.  It was a
sensation for the kids who were getting sucked off, or for members of
an audience watching her perform fellatio on a young cock, to witness
her blushing, to have visible proof of her deep embarrassment.  It
really enhanced a sex performance beyond measure.
  Eileen made no bones about it to me, she'd discovered that the
sensation of sucking off a kid's cock was the most intense orgasmic sex
she'd ever experienced in her life.  It was almost like the dirty
movie, Deep Throat; Eileen claimed that a young cock shooting off a
load into her mouth brought her off to orgasm, all she needed was to
have her finger resting lightly as a feather on her clit at the same
time, just brushing her clit, and bang! that was it, Eileen's pussy
would be coming over and over and over again, getting wet as a shower
when there was an ejaculation by an immature penis into her mouth.
  Eileen confessed to me way later, after she'd had sex with young
boys, that she'd gotten these deep crushes on little boys, like barely
pre-pubescent boys, or just pubescent boys, during the times she'd been
in camp, even though she'd been younger than they were, like when she
was in the seven to ten year age bracket.  Even as a grown women such
newly pubescent boys stimulated her, sexually, even though she'd never
even mentioned it to me.  Getting turned on by twelve year old boys was
Eileen's deepest, darkest secret, the one feeling about which she had
the greatest shame, but it was also like a time-bomb, when it came to
one of our performances.
  This hidden part of Eileen only came to the surface after she'd had
sex with immature males at some of the freakier things I'd arranged, in
the latter part of our sex adventures.  Eileen derived an interesting
insight from this, and an understanding of some male perversion.  She
said that, if she got so much intensity from her relations with young
boys, then, for the first time she could understand why "dirty old men"
might get some outrageously strong reaction to sex with young girls,
though that didn't mean she could approve.  She just understood it,
personally.
  Eileen, as an only child was mostly neglected and left in the hands
of these Nannies.  Eileen's father almost completely ignored her. 
Mumsy was preoccupied with dragging Eileen to social functions.  Mumsy
actually sent her daughter to a school to be trained in "proper"
manners, to be, in Mumsy's words, " a real lady".  Mumsy succeeded. 
But Mumsy never got to know her daughter as a real person.  Eileen
behaved the way she was supposed to, acting like perfect little lady on
the outside.  Mumsy accepted the right behavior from Eileen, insisted
on it, but behind Mumsy's back Eileen was always rebelling against
Mumsy in sneaky ways, which gave the little girl pleasure.
  Eileen recalled for me, once an incident from when she was 13 or 14
years old.  During those times she often would masturbate with Mumsy's
hairbrush handle, and not wash it off.  One kick Eileen got from the
twisted sex acts I had her perform was when she'd kid me, giggling over
the idea of "what the neighbors would think if they knew", and likewise
what her mother would feel, if she ever knew what her "sweet" little
girl was doing.  It gave the Eileen an enormous emotional jolt, doing
the forbidden and totally outrageous behind Mumsy's back.  It also
allowed me to make my impossible fantasies real.
  I knew none of this from the start, it all became revealed much
later.  I think if I'd known at the time how rebellious she was about
Mumsy, consciously, and not so intrigued with how clever I was in
seducing Eileen into performing, I probably could've worked out an even
more exciting hype, with Eileen's cooperation, on the way I exploited
her Mumsy's nude photo, at stags.  From that enlightened perspective I
suspect that it would've given Eileen a great huge kick to know that,
behind her Mumsy's back,  I had dirty old men slobbering over photos of
her Mumsy's nudeness.
  Eileen grew up pretty straight in the way she behaved, considering. 
Out of necessity the young Eileen had developed tight friendships with
both boys and girls her own age, her peers, like most of the kids
growing up today.  Since she was born in New York, in Manhattan, and
raised in a mixed ethnic neighborhood, the boys she was friendly with
were mostly Jewish boys.  That's because the Irish Catholic males she
went to school with were tough little bastards who hated all manner of
females.  They mostly punched the girls out, behind the Sister's backs,
or treated them with contempt.  The Jewish boys who went to the public
schools, and who the little Irish adventurer Eileen had been attracted
to as a young girl, they were like forbidden fruit to Eileen.  She
confessed to me that they almost seemed like women, underneath.
  Eileen also confessed to me her impressions of practically all the
Italian boys she'd ever met, except for me.  Eileen felt that italian
men were insincere, scheming, basically untrustworthy, with hidden
violence underneath.  She said that she'd never, ever sensed that
violent quality in me.  Eileen said that, as a matter of fact, I'd
reminded her more of the Jewish boys she had been charmed with.
  Well, we both grew up in New York, which was loaded with Jews.  Maybe
she caught that quality in me because I hung around with Jewish kids a
lot, when I was young.  They were the only ones with wild sex ideas in
their heads who mouthed off about sex.  Italian kids were just crude
and vulgar.  In fact I was the first Italian male Eileen had ever let
inside the charmed circle.  Also the first older person.  I was her
substitute Daddy.
  But Eileen sure missed the boat on my scheming, or maybe she actually
got a kick out of it.  I certainly was not trustworthy when it came to
manipulating her so I could get my perverted sex needs met.  On the
other hand I was sort of trustworthy about protecting her reputation. 
It was in my own best interest to keep the sex game in business.  But I
walked a very slender line in how well I kept the secret.  I always got
excited over the prospect of exposing Eileen's activities to friends
and neighbors.  However, I never went the distance, only because of the
mental damage that I feared this exposure might cause to my little
kids.

                      Impact on Our Kids

  I needn't have bothered, as it turned out.  Actually, our kids were
tougher than I thought.  They told me, when they were grown, that
they'd caught on to the main thrust of what the two of us were doing,
it wasn't that big a secret from them.  They'd overheard things, in
spite of all of our efforts.  Little kids have big ears.  As far as
they were concerned we were just their Mom and their Dad, and that was
it.  For instance they, all three of the kids, knew that their Dad, for
one thing, took fuck photos of their Mommy.  They evidently hadn't made
a big deal of that fact.  It didn't mean anything, good or bad to them.
They had no sex curiosity at the time, or so they said to me as adults,
so the photos and "those other things" were just something that their
Mom and Dad, as "big people", did, just more silliness, as far as they
were concerned.
  What surprised me more though, was that my son told me that those
kids had known for years that I'd been having his mother "have sex", in
his words, with other men.  He'd evidently overheard me once, when he
was about eight years old, talking enthusiastically, but incautiously,
to some contact at a Club.  Evidently I'd assumed he was asleep, and
had carelessly left my living room door partially open, instead of
locking it.  I'd been very explicit as to what his mother was going to
do at the party, so my kid had a clear picture of what went on, though
none of it made much real sense to him.
  So if we'd been "exposed" this would've been nothing new to the
kiddos.  As a kid my son claimed that he'd made a kind of "kid's sense"
out of the conversation.  It sort of bowled me over that my son had
known in a very vague way what the purpose of our trips was, when his
Gramma baby-sat the three kids during these over-night and over
week-end stag show excursions.
  It was after I'd split with his mother.  Here he was, in his
twenties, telling me these things.  These incredible youngsters didn't
make any big deal of it.  They'd always played Mickey the Dunce with
the two of us, for our benefit.  As they explained it to me much later,
individually, when they were young adults, we two were the only parents
they had, and they adored us, no matter what we did for our sexual
amusement.
  They loved us for the way we brought them up.  They'd never been
physically punished, and had only rarely experienced a cross word
spoken to them.  All three of our kids appreciated how much we played
with them as they were growing up, and and how we always treated them
adoringly.  And they'd returned the love, and the trust.  As a matter
of fact our kids confessed to us, when they'd matured to young
adulthood, that they's always felt they'd been treated with exceptional
love and affection, compared to their playmates.  Their friends often
told them how much they envied them their parents.  So no matter how
freaky the rest of the world would've thought we were, these kids were
loyal, they were really very strong little kids.  Anyway, the
possibility of having our kids learn about our secret activities kept
me somewhat in line.  That line disappeared when Eileen deserted me and
destroyed my porno collection of her photos.

--